Gambler (Seduction Master's Interview)

A few weeks ago I read this comment on the Dating Coaches of 2006 post:

"Personally, I'd like to choose someone who is virtually unknown, but I saw him turn guys who you wouldn't believe had a chance, into smooth talkers with a better chance of obtaining natural game in 11 hrs. I'm a little biased, because I'm one his students. Gambler, this is for you."

I knew I had to get in touch with this new up and comer, Gambler. After a few emails back and forth we decided to do this interview, which I think you will find extremely revealing and inspirational as I did.






Gambler can be reached through his website at:
PUATraining

Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life"?

There was a night in 2001, I was 21 years old, had never kissed a girl. I was trading the stock market and doing pretty well and I said to myself “I’d give up all this for a girlfriend”. I said it out loud, and I really meant it. Having a girl then was worth more than all my material possessions and I’d probably have taken an offer to take 5 years off my life or sell my soul to the devil!

I met a girl within a few days and had a 2 1/2 year relationship with her!

This boosted my confidence and at least made me semi-comfortable dealing with women.

After we broke up, I was single again and didn’t sleep with another girl for 2 ½ years. The same desperation came back. I didn’t realize I could learn how to get this sorted out, so I was focusing on improving myself – making myself more attractive by working out all my issues and problems. I lightly dipped into Speed Seduction but thought it was utter rubbish and didn’t have the balls to even try it out.

By complete chance I happened to be in Starbucks Leicester Square, London at the same time as an RSD bootcamp. I spied on things a bit and then asked Tyler Durden what was going on. He broke it down and told me to read The Game. I read it when it came out in England which was September 2005. In November, I slept with my second girl. The only game I used was to match her physical escalation. She initiated everything, even the extraction to the hotel. I felt like I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I hadn’t read the book.

Have you had any mentors and what did they teach you?

Before I came to London in March, I was working on things on my own in Cambridge. My “mentors” were actually these super-hero PUAs that can get ANY woman they want, ANY time. They actually don’t seem to exist, but they existed in my mind and this was the goal I was working towards. The fact that I set my sights so high allowed me to get good very quickly. If I’d hung with local lair guys from the beginning, my targets would have been a lot lower and I might never have been as good as I am now.

My inspirations all came from the products, I didn’t meet a real PUA until I trained with Brent in April ’06. I thought David D was a great role-model of an attractive man with attractive qualities. Tyler, Swinngcat, and PU101 produced products which were a big help.

I mainly got lines and mental attitude from these products rather than a complete system for pickup. When I tried them out, I got mixed results because I’d be generally lame but throw out the occasional very funny or interesting line.

Milton Erickson was my strongest non-PU role-model. His books served as a grounding to me since he was dealing with REAL problems, and was focused on what is truly important in life. Not only that but he was a genius and could do things that no other human being has been able to do since.

Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and what options you have with women now?

If we go back only as far as 12 months ago, I’d slept with 2 women. I had no idea if I’d ever find a girlfriend, have sex again or even kiss a girl. The whole process of getting a number or more was bewildering and seemed like a huge challenge. It was the uncertainty that was the main problem. The fact that I knew that I couldn’t just go to a club and grab a girl, and even if I went 10 times I might not get anywhere.

Now, I have multiple girls and options any time I like. I know that I can f-close 7 times a week if I like, or that I can meet a girl of quality (looks and character) around once every 3 weeks. I am dating an Italian girl who is doing a PhD curing cancer, looks like Monica Belluci and is pretty much perfect. I’m also dating a Brazilian girl who is super fun and sexy. Both know about what I do and each other, one even helps out on bootcamps as a HB helper! I have other options from strippers to models. I treat the girls well, don’t use tricks and never had a girl hate me!

What was your hardest sticking point?

The thing that took the longest to click and was the biggest sticking point was sexual escalation. I used to sit in sets for ages without going for a kiss or escalating at all. I barely kino’d. Sometimes I’d be in a set for over an hour without any moves being made.

One night in a set where the girl wasn’t giving me kino or IOIs, I just decided to go for it and pushed for the k-close and got it. After that I became more bold and the kino started to click and become natural.

Do you have a favorite step in your model?

I love to do a direct approach and very fast close so this is my favorite special move:

I spot my target from 5 meters or so, I’m not smiling, I’m looking cool, I point at her and tilt my head. She reacts in some way. I walk purposefully toward her. I give her a direct opener or compliment – “you’re a cutie pie” was a favorite for a while, say “come here” and pull her in, start dancing with her or just touch her hair. Maybe ask her name. Maybe not. K-close. When I imagine super hero PUA, there is no way he is indirect! That’s why this is my favorite move.

Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery?

I think the moment I got it was my first f-close. I ran good game, opened, escalated quickly, moved her around the venue, and then lead her to my house. It was pretty smooth. I even threw in some Speed Seduction stuff. I realized then that I had choice with women for the first time in my life. It doesn’t slowly build up over time. I think there are key moments which open the floodgates. This was mine for f-closes.

When I got my first 9 was a huge moment too. It was always in the back of my mind that I didn’t have one yet. Remember, I live in London, I’ve SEEN less than ten 9s in the past 12 months! That was when I felt like a real top level guy.

What advice would you give to newbies starting out?

Plenty, but here are 3 things that spring to mind:

1. Get over your inhibitions and approach as many sets as you can. A guy that does 100 in a day will close more and learn more than someone that does 3. If you are uncomfortable having attention focused on you, go and do acting. If you are uncomfortable being close to a woman, go to salsa classes. Do some crazy missions, find out your motivation and put yourself in the position where you have to act. Give your friend $100 and get him to give you $10 back for each set you open.

2. When you are starting, it is easy to study loads of theory. You need to balance learning, applying and refining. I learnt more in 2 weeks of gaming than 6 months of theory. It makes sense, try spending 6 months learning how to drive by reading a book and see if you are better than the dude who spent 8 hours in a car.

3. If you are not an attractive man in general, fix that. Work on fashion, body language, voice, extrovert qualities, social skills, building an interesting life, etc. If you focus solely on pickup, it can actually make you worse!

In your experience, what is the biggest issue for guys getting attraction with a woman?

Standing out in a positive way from other guys. You need to project fun, sexuality, and confidence.

Look like you are having fun and don’t care too much about what happens. Be comfortable in the interaction, be externally focused and out of your head. If you don’t show outcome dependency, excellent. It’s being almost casual about it. When you feel pressure, she will too. When you are uncomfortable, she will not be able to relax. When women say they want confidence, this is what they are talking about.

What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve yours?

I can talk all day about this area. Inner game is basically your state, your mood, your beliefs about yourself and women. You build inner game most effectively through results and progress. To build inner game before you start, you can try what I did. I wrote down a list of all the things about myself that I was unsatisfied with. For the ones I could do something about I made a plan of action and executed on it, and for the ones I couldn’t I learnt to accept them. Humans need certainty, sense of direction, this gives that. We need a sense of progress and you can get that by recording the progress you make in a journal. It also helps to stop comparing ourselves to others. Judge by your own life and the progress you are making. There will always be someone who is better in some regard, focusing on them is a recipe for discontent.

These are some things I used. I also studied self-hypnosis, NLP, read all the old Bandler books, everything on, by, or about Milton Erickson, I used subliminal music whilst I slept, etc. I used loads of tools and they all impacted in some way. Now I’m very solid, difficult to stress out, and generally in control of my emotions.

Do you have a personal favorite field report that you could relate?

Yeah! From 3 weeks ago!

I went to a posh club in London (24), was a good night, 3 k-closes with HBs. I got a 15 second k-close from using my “special move” as detailed above. I was in a great state – on fire – everything was working for me I COULDN’T get blown out if I wanted to, this happens sometimes. I didn’t extract any girls, nothing I was too bothered about. I was walking home, it was raining so I put my leather jacket under my top and it looked like I was pregnant.

I was walking with a friend. We were chatting when he gasped and pointed out a girl hiding from the rain under a shelter. She was a 9 in my book and the hottest girl I’d seen in 2006 with maybe 1 other girl on the same level as her. 6” tall with heels, blonde, thin, beautiful face, perfect skin, great smile, greeny blue eyes. Stunning.

I told him to go in, he went in and choked, shook his head and came back. He couldn’t do it.

I went and stood 2 meters away, mirrored her facial expression, she looked at my belly as if to say “huh?” and I rubbed it and mouthed “my baby”. She smiled. I looked at the floor next to her as if to say “there isn’t space next to you” and she took step back to let me in. I went and stood next to her right in her face. I asked what her name is. I was in seduction mode already. I went in to kiss her after 15 seconds but she turned her face so I kissed her on her cheek and neck. I do this if they turn their face. I asked where she was going and she told me so I said “I’ll walk you” and took her hand and lead her down the road.

I said “let’s go for another drink” she agreed and I lead her to my house. She objected when she realized we weren’t going to a bar and said “Russian girls are not so easy!” I said “I know, I love Russian girls, and you are special” in a sincere way (I did mean it too). She then started walking again and I got her to my room. I had no outcome dependency at this point, I had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude which she must have picked up on.

I got her in my room, she sat down, I put music on, she didn’t want wine. I said come here, she said “why” and didn’t stand up so I pulled her up, started kissing her, tripped her up onto the bed. Escalated with no LMR at all and had the best f-close ever. She was stunning, I wouldn’t change her thing. Plus it was all natural. No fake tan, died hair, tons of make-up, fake boobs. She was a diamond. Anyway, it took 15 minutes to get to my house, 5 minutes to get her into bed, and she was a NINE so it was amazing for me.

The PU skill? Nothing verbal, nothing I can describe too well. It was the state I was in + the confidence in the approach + the sexual vibe + the indifference and coolness about taking her home. I really didn’t feel desperate or outcome dependent.

She went to Russia for the holidays so need to call her again now because she’ll be back. But one thing is for sure, in London, it will be MONTHS before I even see anything as good.

What are your current challenges?

Finding quality girls! I don’t practice enough due to lack of quality HBs. My personal pickup goals are to be more dominant, escalate quicker, push the boundaries in this way. I’ve cracked upscale venues, celeb parties etc. Hmmm, not too much left. Just general improvement now I guess and a consistent level of quality.

What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

I’m torn between wanting to be the world’s best PUA and running a successful business. I think I need to come to America for both so I’ll be there soon. I am happy with my love life with a few good quality girls. I like to be in a loving relationship. ONSs don’t do too much for me. Neither does writing field reports or getting status from guys. I’m competitive but not a show-off, so I’ve posted on forums less than 5 times in my life!

You've started a company for English students called PUA Training, what can they expect when they take a bootcamp, and what makes you different from other English companies out there?

In London, we have the major US companies who have set up local operations, and no real home-grown talent. I don’t think the quality of training is up to US standards from the established companies since the local guys just aren’t the name-brand PUAs.

I put together a team who even the other organizations will admit consists of England’s best PUAs. We all have different styles and are not too tied to a specific approach. We teach direct, indirect, day, night, phone, day-2, dance-floor, natural game, and routines. It sounds like a lot but it is pretty simple. The system we teach can be learned and memorized and applied within 15 minutes. It is pickup boiled down into its essential elements from open to close. We then put the other stuff on top of this model so it is flexible enough to adapt to any student or any teacher. Because of this, some students leave and are routine guys, some leave and have natural game, and most have a mix but are working towards being all-natural. We had 3 f-closes in a row on bootcamp nights in December, and many more from dates following n-closes on the nights. At least 75% of students get closes on average which is better than any other published number I’ve seen.

Our bootcamps have 2:1 ratio in the club, have HBs that the guys can practice on before going into the field, feature wing-girls, sex skills training, fashion advice, and special guests in lots of areas. I wanted to get away from the “guy with a whiteboard” type of event and we hold our events in private rooms in bars and clubs and the guys are never sat listening without doing an exercise for more than 20 minutes. We have a big budget and spend the money on quality additions. We do day game AND night game.

Tell me about your soon to be released products, and what someone can expect to learn from them?

I’m writing an ebook which is 90% done. I went through all the material prior to going into the field. I’ve read every ebook and watched every DVD and listened to every piece of audio. Some is good, some is bad. A common problem is that none of these products gives you everything you need – the entire process from open to close with all the content you need along the way. Mystery’s book is the best in this regard at the moment, but it is still somewhat limited in its approach. The 7 hours, the negs, the mixed sets in clubs, no direct game, no dance-floor game, no day-game, no inner game, a very rigid system of steps. Basically I wanted to give a complete system for picking up women in any environment. I think I’ve achieved that. People love it so far and I look forward to seeing the response. I’ve basically created the book that I needed when I was an AFC.

Other products will have a similar goal, and so will stand out in the same way.

Your game is "natural", why did you adopt this technique, instead of using a more structured approach to pickup?

Hmmm, well it is natural but still structured. I know what “phase” I’m in and what I can do and what I need to do next. But I freestyle it within that. Because I generally look for quality girls that I can be in relationships with, I find canned material objectionable. I want the girl to be attracted to me, what I have to say, and what I truly think of her. I don’t want to catch a girl by acting a role. I would hate to have a girlfriend who I used a routine stack on. I think that canned material is a crutch until you develop the skills to freestyle and “be yourself”!
I have an unbreakable routine stack, it would close pretty much anything, but I don’t use it. The second reason I don’t use this stuff is that it doesn’t test me, I like to exercise my mental muscles, sharpen them and become better socially through this. You learn more from freestylying 1000 sets than doing the same routine stack 1000 times.

I don’t understand why guys want to be PUAs. A natural with PUA knowledge can out-game 99.9% of PUAs. AFC’s should strive to be naturals.

You traveled around Europe with some great dating coaches last year, what can you tell us about meeting women in other countries?

Well... You have disadvantages and benefits:
You are a rare commodity and more attractive.
They know you aren’t staying long.
The girls are generally not as easy.
Language can be a barrier.
Some countries just hate foreigners.

Aside from this, it is pretty much the same everywhere. The hottest girls in the world are in Latvia. And the most harsh environment ever is the Latvian club scene! They will blow guys out on the open in the most harsh way possible over and over. I still scored every night but I really did pick my shots carefully and the HBs were scared to be seen with me in front of anyone because of the negative social proof of being with a foreigner. Somewhere like Sweden, it’s different, pretty easy, but weird things like expecting you to light their cigarettes (same in a lot of these countries actually, Russia too), and if you refuse it isn’t cool at all. They are not shit-testing, it’s a part of the culture.

Being around so many HBs on the European tour, my game went through the roof! That’s why I need plenty of holidays to places with hot girls – to keep my game sharp. Anyone who wants to take our English girls, please let me know!

You've offered to write a column on The Attraction Chronicles. What do you think you'll focus on, and what can my readers expect?

Lots of things spring to mind. Right now, I think “A structured way to become a natural” would be pretty good theme. Natural game learned unnaturally! Haha. The advice is universal in my opinion.

Gambler can be reached through his website at:

PUATraining

Thanks Gambler, it looks like we'll be hearing from you again soon!

The Sincere Compliment - Direct At Its Easiest

Hey guys! We've been so busy running killer workshops at PickUp 101 in SF and NYC that I almost forgot to share the love here on The Attraction Chronicles.

But just in time for the long holiday weekend here in the U.S., here's an article that gives you all the tools you need to talk to any cute girl you see, and make a great, powerful, sexy first impression.

And you know that attraction happens right away, or not at all, so that first impression matter most.

Have fun!

The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.

That said, I do like to think I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:

• You are just starting out and dealing with the daunting task of approaching women for the first time (and wondering how in the hell anyone ever does anything this scary). This will get you started and get you positive responses immediately.
  
  
• You can do cold approaches but have trouble running a full story, or making an opinion opener sound right, or aren't able to jump right into fun banter right away. This gives you the open and lets her know right away you are more than just a guy making conversation. You are a guy flirting with her, and totally comfortable doing it.
  
  
• You can run attraction to the end of time but find that the girl never fully commits to you, but lets you entertain her until the guy she really connects with comes along. This establishes right from the start that you are confident, sexual, and have intent, and rewards her for being the woman who is deserving of that attention (for right now).
  
  
• You are a high-value guy and finding that you come on too strong for some girls and over game them without even realizing it. This will get them smiling and comfortable and let them relax and appreciate your interest.
  
  
• You are super-advanced and want to see just how basic you can break it down. This can make the game ridiculously easy now that you have internalized all the lessons of value and fun and the potential for great intimacy and sexual fulfillment you have to offer.

Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.

I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.

So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.

"I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you are just too cute."

Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her.

I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).

Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her?

Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good?

Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?

When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.

Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible, and it has to be about HER, not about her clothes, or stuff.

I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistently positive and comfortable responses as the word "cute." I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.

If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women.

And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.

You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women.

What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard.

What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.

All women want to be loved like little sisters, but there's a deeper level. They want to be loved like daughters.

They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and Sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.

There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, but for now, that's it. I encourage everyone to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.

And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.

- Sean

Reader Question with Answer: Approach Anxiety, and One Night Stands

Some guys have all the luck? It's not always what it seems...

I'm fairly new to pick up and am far from good at it. I went out to a club recently and ended up hooking up with someone that night. She was a very cute Spanish girl that is much more attractive than I normally pick up, but I know not to judge success only on results. I can tell you that I did not resemble a pickup artist that night and she more or less fell into my lap. I attribute this to meeting her right before the club closed so she was already drunk.

She actually approached me saying, "I think I know you from my school..." She goes to college at my school's arch rival so I teased her about that and I think I did a good job keeping her interested in me because we hooked up that night, but if she didn't approach me it wouldn't have happened and I am working on my
approaches. That's another issue. I have her number but no email. I would like to hook up with her whenever I go up there or when she comes down to my school to visit friends. What is the best way to make that situation happen?

Congratulations on the successful lay. I can feel from your email that you aren't overly impressed with it however. Hey, at least you still got laid without paying right?

Ok before I address the situation with the girl. First off you see a problem, and you want to fix it. Approaching doesn't get easier, until you start approaching. So get out in the field and do it! Write up a few routines that you can use consistently and practice. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Check out the definitive guide to approaching beautiful women, which is the Art of Approaching, and make up some original routines that fit your personality perfectly.

Ok, now onto the main question:

I think you might be barking up the wrong tree trying to arrange plans with this girl again. Mostly because you rushed into the sexual relationship without building enough of a connection. Perhaps it was love at first sight, or maybe she'll do it at another club the next week? I'm not sure. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior...

What usually happens is if your sexual relationship begins before the absolute MINIMUM 4 hours (recommended 7 hours) you get what is called FOOL'S MATE.

You got lucky, basically. She wouldn't consider you as a permanent thing to come back to unfortunately. The key is rapport and comfort after you generated the attraction before a sexual relationship.

From the Magic Bullets ebook

If you go to far (into seduction) before you have enough comfort, you'll
feel like a great player at the time but you won't get laid when (a) you fool's
mate backfires and (b) you get buyers' remorse the next day.

It's the same situation when you don't give build enough rapport and comfort to battle flakes in my previous Reader Question with Answer. Similarly, if you do the same thing and get laid, it will result in flakiness with her not wanting to associate her feelings on the day (when you call) with the feelings of the night before.

Something that you want, is to attract and KEEP the girls you interact with. Therefore, you'll have choice. The choice I think most of us started in this game for. So don't rush in. Control yourself. What's better? One night of sex, or endless nights of sex?

With saying all that, maybe this beautiful Latina will be the 2% of all women that will want to meet up again and pursue you into having you around for sex. Try setting something up, but I personally wouldn't count on much. Work on improving your overall game so that you can get consistent day2's from meeting in clubs.

Thundercat (Seduction Masters Interview)

Tell me about yourself!

Okay. My handle is "Thundercat," I'm 27 years old, living in beautiful sunny Hollywood California where the only thing hotter than the weather, are the women who live here.

Currently, I run my own business, and most of my time is spent selling my ebook and updating my blog, when I'm not out trying to have a life.

I've been in "the game" since 1998, when I was a sophomore in college. I've continued through it in varying degrees, but I didn't get hard core until I move out to Los Angeles and started meeting the Grand Master PUAs.

I have a few different websites, they are:

How to Meet Women (Link)
Better Sex (Link)
Bang Hot Strippers (Link)
The Mos Eisley Cantina (as I like to call it - Seduction Lair) (Link)

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

Funny story...

So it was a Friday night back in 1998, and I was rooming with this guy who was a real "Jock." Good looking, parents had money, was in a frat, all that jazz. He was basically the kind of guy I'd come to hate, simply because he was everything I wasn't.

So one night, there I am, weighing in at close to 300 lbs, lonely and shy, with no plans for a date what-so-ever. And my Jock roomie comes walking in with two drop-dead hotties.

He just came by to pick up some stuff, but since he was a nice guy, he invited me to go to this frat party he and the girls were going to.

I took one look at the girls and chickened out. It was like the cold hand of death was gripping my stomache and I just couldn't imagine going out with them to a wild and crazy frat-bash.

So I declined, and they left. A few hours after that, I ordered some pizza, and tried to find something to watch on TV. The only thing half-way decent that was on was a rerun of "Three's Company."

At some point while watching this show, I seem to realize that Suzan Summers used to be wicked hot. Still thinking about the girls I decided not to go out and party with, I decide it's time to feel better by "mastering my domain," if you will.

So there I am, alone on a Friday, watching a Three's Company rerun, my dick in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and all of a sudden, the true patheticness of the situation hits me.

I had hit rock bottom.

At this point, I don't know what happens. I fly into a rage, throw the pizza against a wall, flip over my bed, and just start wrecking my room. Eventually I collapse and start crying.

When that happened, I basically said to myself: Okay, you got two choices here. Either kill yourself, or stop being so pathetic and get a girlfriend.

Needless to say, I chose the latter.

Once that decision was made, I turned to the only thing I had available to me: The internet!

The first thing I did was go to Yahoo and type in "How to not be a fat pathetic loser." But there was nothing there. Then I started thinking about what I needed to do to get a girl, and typed in "Seduction."

Low and behond, there was Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction site on the first page. He claimed you didn't need to be good looking, and that you could get any woman in bed just by using hypnotic language.

Well, I thought that sounded pretty darn good, so I ordered his course that night, and that was pretty much how I got into the community.

Inspiring, isn't it? =)

2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Oh, God yeah.

I honestly don't think you can ever achieve anything in life without mentors. And Pick-up is no exception.

The problem is, most men don't have great mentors when it comes to learning about women. Their dad is either absent or clueless, their friends are usually just as desperate and inexperienced as they are, and the women in their lives give them a lot of bad advice on what to do.

When I first started learning about seduction in college, I was in a vacuum. I was too ashamed to tell my friends what I was doing, so it was like my "dirty little secret."

The problem with doing that was the fact that I simply couldn't improve. I had no feedback or guidance, just some audio tapes and access to an online mailing list.

It wasn't until I moved out to Los Angeles and started my own lair that I really started to improve, and that was simply due to having other people who were learning this stuff to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Since then, I've had the pleasure from learning from some of the best ladies men out there. I don't like to name drop, but here are a few of the people I can say I got a lot from:

Swinggcat
Style (Neil Strauss)
Mystery
Hypnotica
Steve P.
Masterclass
Zan
Craig
Playboy
Sickboy
Christopher
David DeAngelo
Craig
Twenty-Six
Maddash
Masterclass
Roadking
Cameron Teone
Dreamweaver
Rick H.

This list goes on. But the fact is I learn something from EVERYONE I meet in this community, even people you wouldn't consider gurus. Hell, I even learn from people like Ross Jeffries and Tyler Durden. I don't exactly admire those guys, but they've taught me a lot about what NOT to do, and that can be just as important as knowing what TO do.

But I'd have to say that out of everyone, Style (the most powerful of the Jedi) is someone I learned my biggest lesson from. He's the one who taught me how to break my fear of meeting women, and after that, my whole life changed.

Sometimes all it takes is one lesson learned to alter the path your life was taking.

3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

LOL

I'd go so far as to say that ALL routines are counter-intuitive. I mean, it just feels weird to do the stuff we're supposed to do, be it dressing like a color-blind crackhead or spouting off 30-odd memorized stories some other dude came up with.

But to answer your question, I'll have to go back to what I said about Style in the previous question.

I was at my first ever Mystery Method workshop. And here I was, a total loser with women by anyone's standards, and I was just taken in by the whole thing. But still, all the instructors were these fairly good looking dudes, and here I was a fat, awkward dude. I just couldn't relate! I was like "Yeah, this might work for you, but what about ugly fucks like me???"

So when Style showed up, here was this skinny, bald dude with a big nose who looked like a young Mr. Burns. But all the other instructors, and Mystery himself, couldn't stop talking about this guy's prowess, so I said to myself: "This is the guy I want to learn from!"

So when it came time for the in-field workshop, I was sure to follow Style. I basically stalked the guy and watched him work. He'd effortlessly walk up to chicks and pick them up. It was the equivalent of watching someone turn their head inside-out and start flying with invisible wings -- I just didn't think it was possible!

Eventually, I walked up to Style and said: "Hey man, I'm freaking out here."

"Why?" he responded.

"I'm too scared to talk to any women. I just don't think I can do this."

Now, there were a lot of approaches Style could have taken there. He could have told me to suck it up. He could have shrugged it off. Or he could have done demonstrations for me all night. But none of those would have helped me.

Instead, he took me away from the main group into a new club, just me and him. And he pointed at a group of two girls and a guy and said: "See that 3-set right there? I want you to walk up to them, use the Who Lies More opener, get their responses, and then come back to me."

"That's it?" I said.

"That's it," he responded.

So I went and did that, feeling like a complete tool. I was thinking "These girls are gonna see right through me. They're gonna laugh at me. I'm going to look like an ass."

So I walked up and said: "Hey guys, who do you think lies more, men or women?"

And the entire group just STARED at me. I was thinking "Ohhhh shit. Here it comes."

But suddenly, to my surprise, the girls started giving me answers. And they didn't just give me an answer, they started arguing over what the right answer was!

After I got their opinions, I went back to Style. I wa totally amazed that this "opener" had actually worked just like they said it would!

So Style kept sending me out to do the exact same thing to more groups. By the third time, I was hooked. I became an approach machine. The next night of the workshop, I ended up talking to 15 women (which was fifteen more than I'd met in the previous year since I moved to LA!).

4. Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

Well, my life was pretty average, I guess. It's hard for me to know what to compare it to other than the lives of people on TV.

My dad worked a lot, and I was the oldest of three brothers, so I didn't exactly have a lot of male role models. My brothers do pretty well with girls, but I think that's mostly because they saw what I was doing and said "I'm gonna do the opposite of that!" and it worked for them. Lol.

So most of my love/relationship advice came from my mom, who - bless her soul - gave me a lot of terrible ideas about how to attract women. You know, things like: Buy her flowers, be respectful, blah, blah, blah.

I went through high school with three girlfriends, but always felt really awkward around women because I didn't really understand them. I'd always want the girls I couldn't have (which lead to a lot of high school drama and rejection on my part), and I'd settle with the girls I could get (and that never made me very happy).

I kept thinking "If I could lose my virginity, everything would change. I'd know how to be a better man and get more chicks."

It wasn't until I was in college that this happened. I met this girl at a friend's party, and we had a great conversation. She was fairly cute (I'd rate here at a 7.5 in PUA jargon). Her family ran a mortuary, so we talked about dead people a lot, oddly enough. This was around the time I was learning all the "Speed Seduction" stuff, so I tried using all this hypnotic language with her, but she was so drunk it didn't even matter. We ended up hooking up that night, and I woke up the next morning thinking "Okay, so... am I a man now?"

But I honestly didn't feel any different than I did the night before. Still felt lost, still felt clueless.

As things turned out, the girl I slept with didn't even go to my college, she was in town visiting my friend, and ended up leaving. I tried to angle for a "second rendezvous," but nothing ever came of it. So I chalked that success up to: Right Time, Right Place, Right Amount Of Booze.

Since then, I've learned a lot about women and come a long way (at least I think so).

I don't really like to share my personal successes online because people can so easily rip into them. I've seen what happens when Mystery shows pictures of his girlfriends online, and you always have some douchebag going "She's an UG!" and calling him a fake, so it's not important to me to bring the girls I date into that sort of mess just to prove something to the flamers and trolls out there.

I've settled down since my hay-day of going out 5-6 nights a week. I tend to go out on the weekends, and the girls I see are more bred from my social circle than cold pick-ups now, though I still do those occasionally.

In terms of options, I just go after women I like. I don't try to narrow the field, because you never know when someone will surprise you, so I like to keep my options open.

5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

Without a doubt, it's my belief system.

Beliefs are the single, hardest thing in the world to fix. If you believe in bad, negative, and just plain wrong things, you tend to feel that good, positive, and factual things are false.

This can cause HAVOC with your life.

For instance, I used to believe I had to look like Brad Pitt to get a woman attracted to me. After all, women like good looking guys, right?

All I'd have to do is look around, and count the times every time I saw some fat old ugly guy with a really attractive chick. But even THEN, I'd believe that was a special case and I'm doomed to suffer from a life of loneliness.

Once I got into the PUA game, I started to realize than women process attraction in different ways then men do. Most of the girls I've been with don't care about how a man looks (thank God for that, lol). I was talking to an ex girlfriend the other day who recently got engaged, and her husband to be is something like 320 lbs. But guess what? He's smarter than her! And that's why she's into him.

The entire time I was with her, I was miserable because I kept thinking she was going to leave me for a thinner, better looking guy. It was my bad attitude that eventually lead to the break up. D'oh!

It was my BELIEF that I had to look a certain way to get women that would really handicap me. I had so many opportunities where a woman was actually INTO me, where she would have slept with me, but my belief system would say things like:

"She's not really into you. Pay no attention."
"There's something wrong with her if she likes an ugly guy like you."
"It's a trick! She's leading you on only to hurt you!"

The fact was I was just a cool guy these girls dug - but I couldn't see it.

Ever since I started really focusing in on the root causes of my problems - my bad belief system - and have addressed it, things have really picked up. I feel better about myself, and so do the people around me.

6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

My favorite step is where I can foret all the routines and tactics and just be me.

I'm a lazy dude, and I hate memorizing stuff. So I enjoy it when I can just relate to a woman on a personal level without having to run game on her.

At some point, you HAVE to run game because you need a strategy to get her into bed or keep some other dude from stealing her, or whatever. But for the most part, I enjoy just talking normally without all the BS.

I tend to use an opener when I meet a woman, then search for a commonality to connect on, and try to engage her in conversation before pushing for an "insta-date" or a phone number. That's pretty much my model. It might not be as effective as something like Mystery Method, but it's easier for me to pull off.

7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

No, 'cause I don't feel I'm there yet! lol.

It's funny because I've come so far from the guy who whacked off to Three's Company so many years ago. I definitely don't consider myself an AFC anymore, and even though I can go out and pick up women, I don't feel like a pick up artist.

I still feel I have so much to learn. I'll probably always feel that way. I'll always feel I need to keep improving and doing better.

I think people who say "Okay, I've reached master level! I don't have to do any more work!" are stupid. People like Mystery, who will not be shy about saying he's the greatest PUA to ever walk the Earth, still tries to do new things and learn from others, which is probably why he's still at the top of the game.

This notion that there are "Ranks" in PUA-dom always makes me laugh. I get emails from guys saying things like "I've decided I'm going to become an mPUA!" Like once that happens you get a metal pinned on your chest telling everyone you're a master or something.

It's such bullshit.

I've been around some of the greats - guys who are considered Pick Up Gods - and seen women tell them to "fuck off," or slap them, or get drinks spilled on them.

And these are the MASTERS!

The fact is, you can't ever qualify success as a Pick-Up artist, because there are too many variables.

Mystery has this "5-for-5" concept which is supposed to determine mastery in the venusian arts, but I completely disagree with it. He thinks if you can approach 5 women and make all five your girlfriend (five successes from five approaches) that means you're a master.

But here's my thing...

Being happy is more important than being a "Master."

Let's say all I want is a fat chick. Maybe that's my thing, where I say "I'm into fat girls!" and I can go out and pick up any fat chick I want. I could walk around and say "I'm a master pick up artist!" But anyone who saw the women I'm with would say I'm full of shit, because fat chicks aren't hot to anyone who doesn't have a fetish.

But if I really LIKE fat chicks, and I'm happy to get them, why shouldn't I be considered a master?

See the quagmire there?

Every man has his own idea of what a "Master" pick up artist should be. But to me, I don't even WANT to be a master. I just want to find 1 girl to settle down with and grow old with. That's my thing. I want a girl who I find attractive and fun to be with.

Some guys want to have 3 bisexual women all the time. Some want supermodels. And everyone has their own definition of what kind of woman is "beautiful."

That's why I hate this ranking stuff. I'll never rag on another man because I don't think his girl is hot. There was a time when people were making fun of Ross Jeffries because he was dating some old fat chick. I don't care what she looks like, because if he likes her, who am I to judge? I didn't even know he could actually get a woman, so I guess that impressed me more than what she looked like, lol.

8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

Meet up with other guys who do this stuff, befriend them, and help each other to learn.

There's so much crappy stuff out there, technique wise, that once you meet up with other guys you'll learn what to use and what to avoid.

You'll also have people to keep you motivated, and you'll have people you can speak with about problems and issues, which is vital to success.

Just having guys you can talk about this stuff with can be really liberating, because you may be too embarrassed to discuss it with your current friends.

9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

My belief is that inner game is THE single most important factor to success.

But it's also the hardest to improve.

Everyone has different levels of inner game. Some guys need more help than others.

I think when it comes to fixing inner game, it's a three step process:

1. Identify your bad beliefs
2. Be willing to change, even if you have to do stupid or embarrassing stuff to do so.
3. Have the willpower to see it through to the end.

If you can do those three things, you can fix any problem you have.

10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

I don't do too many field reports, because I tend to write really detailed stuff and it takes me forever to do them. Plus, most of the time I'm out with really high profile PUAs, and they all have girlfriends who keep tabs on them through the internet, so I have to be careful about what I write not to get my friends in trouble, heh, heh, heh.

I have some great stories I'd love to share, but won't, simply because I don't want to write them out. But there are a lot of field reports I did from a few years back, when I was really hitting the club scene here in Hollywood hard. I'll point to on my blog. You can find it here:

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/field_report/index.html

11. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

I think I already answered that, lol. But if you want a sticking point more related to the community, I'd have to say that it's dealing with all the negativity out there.

There are so many guys out there with so much anger and frustration, I think they take it out on me and others in the community because it's easier to blame us "gurus" than it is to own their failures and try to improve.

I try to ignore most of it and focus on positive aspects of my life, like meeting women, being with friends, advancing my career, etc.

12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

Wow, where to start.

In life, my goal is to make a good living, find a good woman, and raise a good family. That's all I want and could ask for.

In the community, my goals are a little more nefarious.

Selfishly, I love having a popular blog because I get to meet some of the most interesting people on the planet. I've met so many PUAs who are amazing, weird, evil, or fascinating just through that, and I learn so much from them all.

I get to see what people think of me and others. I get to shed light on topics I find interesting or important.

I really want to learn more techniques and advice, and meet more people this year. A lot of the old school guys have some good stuff, but it's with the newer PUAs we're going to see the best technology spring from.

I also want to encourage more seduction blogging. When I started, I think there were 1 or 2 other PUAs blogging about their experiences. But then I came along and my blog got real popular, and it inspired other people to start their blogs, which is great. The more the merrier! I think blogs are great tools to help you focus your thoughts and learn about this stuff (plus, you get feedback).

I also want to shed more light on some of the shady business practices going on in the community. I know I get a lot of flack for being "negative" or whatever, but to me, when I hear about some poor guy getting ripped off, I think back to where I was when I first started and how that would have affected me.

At that point I say: What's more negative? Allowing good guys to continue to be hurt and misled? Or shedding some light on what's going on and try to help others find the right system for them?

Because of me, Ross Jeffries was called to the mat on a lot of his B.S. He runs his list like a dictator, telling people they aren't allowed to read stuff that isn't Speed Seduction related. You can't even post a technique on there that isn't about SS, even if it would be helpful (and most of his stuff isn't). The best thing I ever did for myself was get out of Speed Seduction and learn new methods of pick up and seduction. You can't improve in a closed system, but Ross's greed overpowers his willingness to help his students. He'd rather them buy from him than help them get what they need. He also is really insecure about competition because he knows his stuff is no where near as good as other people's, like Mystery's. The best Speed Seduction students all left for better methods for God's sake! But he still keeps on trucking...

I see the same mentality in Real Social Dynamics. It's a real shame, because I actually really liked those guys. Like Ross, they have the ability to suck people into a cult-like atmosphere where everyone is "competition" and if you're not with them, you're against them. That's a negative mindset and it doesn't help people and hurts them in the long run.

But because of my blog, they now offer a Money Back Guarantee! Something they NEVER offered before. It's still not a very good guarantee, but at least I got them to change their practices a little.

A lot of these guys think I'm "out to get them" or looking to "destroy their businesses." I could care less about that. I have no desire to destroy someone's livelihood. But if that livelihood is made by hurting guys who are trying to improve their lives and ripping them off, you bet your ass I'm going to take them to task over it!

To me, this community is about helping other guys. That's what it's always been about. You can still help guys by charging for services and information I have no problem with that. It's when you choose to hurt others to make a quick buck, or for the sake of your ego, that I have a problem with.

So I just want to keep on helping guys in this community as best I can. =)

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
• Herbal
• Sean
• Neil Strauss

Killer Techniques To Overcome Anxiety When Approaching Women

I loved Cedar's post on Mystery's forum about approach anxiety and dealing with it properly. If some of these terms seem foreign to you, read Mystery's e-book for a heads up.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a defense mechanism. It exists to protect you from abnormal behaviour. Consider a high steel worker. These guys stand on two foot wide beams hundreds of feet off the ground. They're strapped in, but their body doesn't understand that. The first few weeks are hell.

After that, it's no big deal. Heights don't bother them. Their body has accepted heights as a feature of the environment. It's normal to THAT person. Buddy of mine worked high steel a decade ago. Said the heights were nothing to him at the time.

But he's afraid of heights now. Because HIS ENVIRONMENT CHANGED. He doesn't work high steel. He's not SURROUNDED by his anxiety any more. To him, heights are ABNORMAL now, when they were NORMAL a decade ago.

Approach anxiety is a collection of anxieties. Fear of talking to strangers. Fear of interrupting people. Fear of running out of things to say. Fear of looking dumb (social pressure). And fear of success (a personal favorite).

Talking to Strangers

Talking to strangers is the most common. In our hunter/gatherer days, this kind of behaviour could get you killed. We don't live in a tribal society any more, but our bodies doesn't understand that. Our biological programming is from the olden days.

If you do not talk to new people EVERY DAY, how do you expect to sarge at the bar? You're body will fight you. It will protect you. Unless you acclimate it.

I picked up a pamphlet on breaking habits on the trip to Vegas. It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. If that's true (and it sounds about right), it takes three weeks to overcome approach anxiety. By talking to strangers EVERYWHERE.

That means on the bus, at the gas station, line at the coffee shop, airplanes, work, restaurants, etc. Talk to a new person EVERY DAY. Use a stock opener on them. Like maury povich or dental floss.

Understand that if you STOP being a social creature for any length of time, approach anxiety WILL RETURN.

If lunch-time street approaches are an option, take a walk on your lunch break and open 3 sets. Open and eject if you're not up to stacking material. This will make bar sarges WAY easier. It'll slowly remove the anxiety of talking to strangers.

Fear of Interrupting People

Personal Skeleton. We are raised from birth to be polite. To be considerate of other's feelings, opinion and pasttimes. We are a sensitive society. We're also a wussy society. The alpha man DOES take others into consideration. But he doesn't hesitate to give people the gift of his or her reality.

Why are you worried about interrupting people? Switch places with your target. If you were talking to friends and a supermodel in lingerie interrupted you, would you be pissed? Fuck no. I don't care if I was about to solve world piece.

Women are ALWAYS receptive to their knight in shining armour. Walk in, be the cool guy, and don't care about their conversation. Hell, tease them about it. After you reach the hook point apologize for interrupting and offer to leave. They'll drag you back.

These people lead boring lives. They wake up in their boring bed, they drive to a boring job in their boring car and they hang with their boring friends and talk about how bored they are.

You're not interrupting ANYTHING IMPORTANT. Not at a bar, not on the bus and not in the casino. It's your reality. Everyone else is along for the ride.

Fear Of Running Out Of Things To Say

I hear a lot of people saying 'I hate routines, I just want to talk normal.' Here's the thing. You're not getting laid. Why would you talk normal. Use the damn routines until 'normal' to you is 'attractive' to women.

Routines are normal conversation from someone else. Someone good with women. You're wearing the skin of successful PUAs until you develop your own.

This is why MM focuses on routines. Memorize stock routines from the MM forum, the lounge and bristol lair. After your newbie mission, rotate in personal DHV stories and field test them. You'll have dozens of things to say.

And don't worry about forgetting what to say. It continues to amaze me how, out of nowhere, a routine I haven't used in six months drops into my head in set. Listen to your instincts on this one. If you're in set and a routine comes to mind, USE IT.

Fear Of Looking Dumb

Tylder Durden refers to this phenomenon as social pressure. Women are more sensitive to this than guys are. Your body is protecting you from being outside of the norm. Being normal and boring is SAFE. Being Alpha is DANGEROUS. You are CONSTANTLY being fucked with. You are CONSTANTLY proving yourself by reacting to shit tests, amogs, cock blocks, etc.

How do you deal with it? If you're comfortable in your own skin, then you have nothing to fear. So what if your top hat looks funny. You like it. You don't care if anyone else does. Your mindset is apathy. It's your reality.

Hell, you're trying to figure out why everyone's wearing polo shirts and khakis. Looks ridiculous. Far as you're concerned, they should ALL be wearing top hats. 'Cause then you can wear khakis and stand out.

Fear Of Success

Another personal skeleton. I'm a busy guy. So's my wife. She works part time on weekends and evenings. My son has a martial arts class a few nights a week. If I hit the bar this Thursday and timebridge a girl, I don't have much of a window in which to see her.

I'm close to closing an LTR for me and the wife. She'll take a chunk of our time. What if I find a second one at the bar? When will I have time for a Day 2 or for anything more long term? Where will I find time for all these girls?

Easy. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. What a lame fucking excuese NOT to approach. I won't talk to a girl because there's a 1% chance she might become my girlfriend? Focus on the process.

You don't have to timebridge the girl. And even if she's your thing, there's a good chance you'll fuck it up. I've met hundreds of women. And a dozen of those were completely my type. Totally compatible.

Am I upset I couldn't close them? A little. But I keep finding more. 2000 women turn 21 (or any other age) EVERY DAY in this country. Don't worry about fucking it up with one girl. Focus on learning from that girl so you don't fuck up the next one.

This kind of anxiety is all about outcome dependance. Don't worry about where the sarge goes. Worry about how well you sarge. Doesn't matter if you get a bullseye on the shooting range once in a while. Make it happen EVERY time.

Experience

The best answer I have to Approach Anxiety is to remember all the fun times you had after you ignored it. After a few good sets, you'll think back to your favorite right before you open your first set of the night. And bam, with good memories comes good energy.

Example. I don't AMOG. Not my style. But my wing pointed out this AFC leaning in on a two set. Girls were turning away. It was over. And then I noticed an empty space between the AFC and one of the girls.

I took it.

And talked to the guy. Girls were never more cofused in their life. Chatted up the guy who wasn't sure what I was doing but knew he shouldn't freak out.

Then I turned and used the patented Cedar opener on the girls. 'Hey.' With a head nod. Her reply? 'espanol?' I about died. I AMOGed a spanish speaking set. I was cracking up. Got a thumb wrestle out of the target, which got her laughing. I coached the guy what he did wrong and watched him number close her two minutes later.

I'm smiling just thinking about it. And damn straight I'm gonna try and take another set this week. That was too much friggin fun not to do again.

Same thing with approaches. You have some good sarges and the approach anxiety gets less and less of a barrier. You'll have too many positive memories and emotions tied up with sarging. No way approach anxiety will hold you back.

Avoidance

If you don't get over approach anxiety, you'll never overcome A1. Without A1, you can't reach A2. Or C1. Or S-anything, right?

There's ways around A1. Winging, approach invitation and hot game for examples. These techniques aren't solid game. They're flukes. They work, but they hinder your game. You become reliant on a tactic that opens maybe 3 sets in the bar. You can't open the entire room. Don't use these to circumvent your approach anxiety.

There might be some validity to using these in an attempt to develop good feelings in sets, but you become dependant on these techniques VERY quickly. Don't fall into that trap. Make your own reality. Conquer this fear and open some fucking sets.

Party on. And happy hunting.

How you can start BEING successful with women

I was emailed this question, from a man in Texas. "How did you start to become more successful with women, and how can I get started?"

My simple answer.... an e-book started my journey.

Do e-books help you attract women, do they really provide that much help to you? Do they help you succeed?

My answer, is YES and NO... (sorry)

I was in a similar predictament as this man from Texas. About a year ago, I was searching through Google, newsgroups, and forums for some relief to the pain I had when it came to attracting women. I always wondered why some men had beautiful women hanging off them and others that were more handsome didn't.

This really perplexed me, as I'm the type of person that wants to understand, so I can have the advantage. :) And thus, my journey started...

So much information, where do I begin?!

The problem in searching Google for some indexed, complied ready-to-go information for seducing women in one place, is the shear volume that's out there. This is the amount of unorganized information on this topic:

"How to seduce women" 2,480,000 results

"Approaching women" 10,600,000 results

"Dating women help" 18,400,000 results

"How to be more attractive" 78,700,000 results

"Understanding women" 88,800,000 results

That is a whole lot of information to process, and you really don't know whether the stuff will work. So I started searching for some quasi-professional help. I started looking into some popular e-books.

I read an e-book called "Without Embrassment". I was impressed, but something seemed to me to be missing that clicked with me.

My search continued...

I eventually found a site called Double Your Dating. The author was called David DeAngelo. I thought the named sounded very cheesy, and I had the stereotype of a grease ball Italian guy trying to sell me his pickup lines. I clicked on the link I found. I subscribed to the weekly newsletter, and found his techniques very disrespectful of what I had always thought was proper towards women, but something inside me "clicked." It intrigued me. I read the e-book and was not totally convinced.

I tried the techniques, like the "Kiss Test" which I received on the first page of the website, totally free. Not only did it work, but the woman was so suprised. She then tried to take the kissing further, it had been the first a woman had ever done that to me. Anyways, that was one year ago. I know so much more about attracting and reading body language signals from women than I ever did before.

I have alot more self-confidence and self-esteem than I used to. I have a current girlfriend that is amazing in everyway. E-books honestly helped me to become this person. I say helped because it is you, you have to do the work. They work.

My picks...

Throughout all my searching on the net, I found a few good ones, that I strongly recommend to my readers when they contact me.

My first pick is Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women. I pick this e-book because to me it encompasses the perfect groundwork you need to start turning your dating life around. When people ask me, "What got you started?" or "What can I do to quickly turn my life around?" I recommend this e-book. Why? Because it worked for me.

It doesn't provide cheesy pickup lines, and it gives you visual techniques to help your self-esteem. It provides bucket loads of techniques for attracting women, mistakes that you make, how to correct them, and how to move yourself into the frame of mind so that you wont have any confidence problems around women.

My second pick is The Art of Approaching. I only heard about this e-book about 5 months ago. I past along side it, and didn't consider it to be of worth. That was a mistake. This is crammed to the rim with everything that any healthy male would need to know about approaching that beautiful woman across the bar or coffee shop without fear of rejection. It's truly a masterpiece. Thundercat aka Joseph Matthews did a brilliant job on this book. It contains such ideas as approaching groups, using opinion openers, and everything else that just makes it sooo easy to get numbers, and get dates. I'm currently re-reading this, as this is a part of my dating life I want some further specialized information in.

My third and last pick is The Mystery Method Handbook. This system is unbelievable. It has transformed my life. I'm learning the in and outs of the MM model, and applying natural game to it.
This is an update, I have found a full solution to my issues and future in the game with Stephen Nash. I have done lots of soul searching and feel that this is the most complete solution for men out there. I met Stephen and have had personal one-on-one coaching with him. A genius - truly.

This was my journey. There is so much to learn, and I'm glad I have this blog. So I can help those guys looking to change their lives for the better, alittle easier.

Till next time,

Donovan

NEWSFLASH! Seduction mastery websites explode men's success with women!

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Across the nation and even the world, men in search of a way to attract beautiful women are discovering the secrets of seduction from master teachers, which lately have been popping up like wildflowers across the Internet. Some men are adopting the secrets, however many are still in the dark. Men who have used the materials have noticed a dramatic increase in their successes with the opposite sex. There are many impersonations, but there are a select few respectable teachers with your interests in mind.

David Deangelo, founder of Double Your Dating, has been established for a few years, and provides among other things, DVD's, e-Books and audio CD's. His keystone product, "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About Women", has sold thousands of copies and continues to be the dominate force in the industry. Inside are over a hundred pages of in-depth "alpha-male" attributes and social programming methods to increase your overall self-esteem and success. (Double Your Dating Website)

Mystery, aka Eric, founder of The Mystery Method, is acclaimed as the "World's Most Famous Pick Up Artist", he has systematically created the means by which men can bypass the guards and social programming to attract any woman, any where, any time. He runs live ultra-exclusive workshops, but has just recently released DVD's, and a comprehensive e-Book. Mystery got alot of exposure after he was attributed to be the master teacher of "Style" aka Neil Strauss in his hit book "The Game". (The Mystery Method Website)

Thundercat, aka Joseph Matthews, is the author of a relatively brand new e-Book, in it's 2nd edition, called "Art of Approaching". He goes over, the initial approach and first interaction, in a detailed step-by-step, easy to learn guide. This is the most definitive resource for any man to attract women from the first approach. The e-Book contains over two hundred pages of jam-packed information all about approaching without fear of rejection. (Art of Approaching Website)

"With these guides, it makes it simple for a average looking chump like me, to be around and attract the most beautiful of all women," said Donovan a 23 year-old student from Newport Beach, Calif.

Mystery Method (2): The Approach

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out his DVD Home Course.

LEARN THE MYSTERY METHOD

ATTRACT 1:
Opening

ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")

ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")

COMFORT 1:
Connection

COMFORT 2:
Trust

COMFORT 3:
Intimacy

SEDUCTION 1:
Arousal

SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

SEDUCTION 3:
Sex

In the first issue of the OAP, I gave an introduction to the Mystery Method and the M3 model. This model is at the core of most of what we do. To begin a sexual relationship with a women, you have to first ATTRACT her, then build COMFORT, and then finally SEDUCE her. Attract, Comfort, and Seduce are the three elements of the M3 model, and each of those is further divided into three phases. For example, the ATTRACT phase is divided into Attract 1 (or A1): Opening; Attract 2 (or A2) Attracting; and Attract 3 (or A3) Qualifying.

What is opening? Essentially, it's the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, whereby you begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that opening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous when starting a conversation with a woman that we don't know.

There are good evolutionary-biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman without permission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), but that's probably not a lot of comfort. Nervous feelings that you get and the little voice that pops into your head creating excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. You will need to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone -- even MM instructors -- have them.

Some more bad news. We not only need to open (suppressing our built-in emotions) but we have to open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman (and any other women who see it) and make everything else you do a giant waste of time.

What's the good news? With practice, it's actually fairly easy. With some practice and some live examples and feedback from a trained instructor, anyone should be opening successfully, 99 times out of 100, after a couple weeks of work. Most experienced guys don't even think about opening anymore.

The following tips will get you started:

Have a canned opener ready -- This is NOT a night at the improv. Going "situational" (e.g., "it sure is crowded here" or "that's a nice purse") will rarely work. Think about it. If a 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and gets approached 5 times in a night (and all of these numbers are major underestimations), she has been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys have tried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener -- something that has been repeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don't have even one opener, I'd suggest Thundercat's tactical guide -- how to open. If you don't have this invaluable text, do yourself a favor and spend the $39.95 to get it and have your openers ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc. He's another former Mystery Method student who knows his stuff.

3-2-1-GO -- The three-second rule was created for a reason. When you see a girl you like, GO. Open her group within three seconds. The failure to do this will "stale you out". Women like confidence. They don't like to be stalked. They like spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out what to do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a set and GO in. You've already got your opener ready, right?

Approach at an angle -- Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at angle, tilt your head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost need to see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that you do not need their attention or approval. Hang out with someone who knows what they are doing to teach this. If you don't know anyone, check out the Magic Bullet's ebook.

Smile on the approach -- Don't grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smile as you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. Smiles can be practiced in front of a mirror.

Be loud enough -- Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener should be loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don't shout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener.

Practice opening -- loudly -- from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can't. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations.

Don't lean in -- This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voice enough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).

Engage the group -- Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet (the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the target.

Neg the target -- The hotter the girl, the quicker you have to neg. I've seen Mystery open with a neg, as well as negging the target within the first 10 seconds of his opener.

False time constraint -- This is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Somewhere in the first 30 seconds you should drop in a phrase like "I can stay a second; I have my friends here". This will stop the group from feeling uncomfortable ("how long is this guy going to stay here") while also setting yourself up as a bit of a challenge, since if a woman is interested in you, she knows she'll have to do some work to keep your attention. Make sure you phrase it in positive terms. For example, consider the difference in what is communicated by "I have to go; my friends are here" compared to "I will only stay a second, then I'll leave you guys alone".

There. Do those things, and you should be able to get through A1 (the opener) easily, in almost any social situation.

Another crucial element of A1 is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab the group's attention and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you should shift into A2 (attract). We'll cover A2 in the next issue of the OAP.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook