Dave Levine (Seduction Masters Interview)

We have a very special interview today with the founder of SexToy.com. Dave Levine is a Hollywood Hills living, party loving entrepreneur that we can learn something from. He doesn't come from the community, but has learn't to attract the types of women he wants through trial and error, and innovation. The interest part is what Dave says about social circles and befriending women.

Tell me about yourself

I grew up in a suburb 20 minutes north of Boston, went to U of M, lived in Japan for one year, then NYC one year, then back to Boston, then in 2003 moved to Hollywood.



My websites:

SexToy.com
http://www.wcool.com

Can you explain what you're dating life was like before you felt you finally became successful with women?

Living in Boston, I didn't meet many women who seemed that exciting to me. And when I met ones I liked, I didn't have much chance of attracting them. I felt unsure about how to act.

Did you ever have an experience a thought where you realized to yourself, "I can do better than what I have now", was there anything that prompted it and what did you decide on doing?

You are tapping into my megalomaniac side, but I have always believed that I would become much more successful and would eventually figure out how to get the hottest girls in the world. Thus, I was never satisfied with mediocrity.

Can you explain your dating options with women?

First of all, my main objective is to first become friends with a girl I like. If I see a new girl I like, I am not immediately trying to just have sex. My goal is to get her into my posse. I just want her to be one of the many girls I hang out with. I am frequently in a situation where I am the center of attention in setting where there are more women than men. Everyone meets at my house, we go out in my limo, I get everyone into the party, then we come back at the end of the night to my house.

Partying with hot girls however is very different than dating a hot girl. Most of my pics show girls that are just party friends. Even though I may actually hook up with many of them, we are not really dating. If I actually go out to dinner or spend quality one on one time with a girl, then that is dating.

Did you learn any good dating techniques from successful guys that you hung around?

I learned most of my dating techniques from the TV show blind date! When I first saw that how, I would watch and think the girl was interested in the guy and then hear her say at the end that she had no interest. Then I realized, I am not reading my dates properly. The biggest thing I learned is that people are not honest. Most people (wrongly) believe, that it is better to lie and say nice things than to be honest about your feelings. After watching many blind date episodes, I began to find better ways of determining if a girl is really interested. For example a hot make out is a good hint she likes you!

Also, I used to think that to win a girl I had to do something magical and impressive, but after watching the people on Blind date, all I really have to do is be myself and hang out. If a girl agrees to go out with you, that means she is interested on some level. Rather than think I need to win her, I started to think, I have her as long as I don't act like an ass and mess it up.

Finally I learned that everyone has different tastes and desires. So if a girl wants a guy who is very tall, or blonde, then she won't be into me. I can't get mad about that and shouldn't try to change her mind. Sometimes I may feel a girl is stupid and really should like me, but I don't waste my time trying to convert. I just present myself in the best light and if they are into me great, if not, I move on. There are many many more who don't need convincing.

You've got a huge network of what seems to be, very attractive women, and successful men. What advice do you give to guys wanting to expand their social circle to include those types of people?

First of all decide what kind of girls you like. Not everyone is into the wild Hollywood party girl. Some may like a more conservative girl who likes being in the country side. But once you know what you like, then go to that place. That is one reason I moved to Hollywood. Then once you are around the type of girls you want, you need to become the center of gravity. Create the fun or activities that people enjoy. If you are the creator, then you will be the center of attention. Not only will this get you noticed, when they notice you, they will see you in a positive light since you are the leader.

Going off the last question, when you started out in the LA nightlife you probably had to build a relationship with the venues. What are some ways of getting "in" with the clubs?

When I first arrived I went to the hottest club at the time with a friend of mine (wednesday nights at the Standard). He said you can't get in. I said, thanks and left. The next week we came back and he said, you can't get in. The next week I came back alone, since my buddy gave up already and the door guy let me in! After that I didn't miss one Wednesday for a year. And every night that I went out I got at least one phone number and called it a day or two later.

When going to clubs, remember that they are running a business. They want money and hot girls. If you want to get in, show up with girls or be ready to throw money at them. If you have hot girls with you, stand behind them.

Figure out who is the decision maker regarding getting in and be sure to talk to that person, don't start asking the security guard if you can get in. Remember the door guy is busy so be ready to get to the point. Look the guy in the eye with confidence and say, "Just me and these 2 hot girls and $50" Also, if you know any of the promoter names say "I am on Joe's list and Fred's list" Even if you aren't on the list, if you seem to know the promoter, that helps, cuz for all this guy knows, you are the best friend of that promoter!

We're both shorter guys. I've found in the past, it can be intimidating to approach women that have all these "model" 6'5 type guys leeching off them. Have you learnt any techniques of dealing with this height difference when you approach women in clubs?

That stuff does not matter at all. On average you may find more tall girls who simply will not hook up with you since you aren't tall, but most don't seem to care! Anyways, my initial approach is just to be friends anyways, so if I think she is hot, I will talk to her and try to hang out with her. I dated a 6'2" girl and a 6'1" girl and I am only 5'7" . . . and I encouraged them to wear heals when we went out cuz I thought it was hillarious!

What can guys out there do to become "cool"?

Find the scene you like and hang out in that scene and just focus on having fun. The cool part comes when you relax and naturally begin to fit in. In fact, that is what the word "cool" comes from is you are just chilled out and not stressing about how to act. This may sound crazy, but if you are in a scene and not feeling cool, go off on your own for a bit and take deep breathes and soak it in. when I used to go the hot clubs in hollywood and didn't know many people, many times I would sneak off to the back of the dance floor and just dance alone and take deep breaths to let myself relax into the vibe . . . .

I bet you have some wild stories. What was your craziest experience at a club?

My wildest experiences have been at my house parties in the hot tub or steam room. But in a club, having the hottest little 20 year old kissing up on me and grabbing me never gets old.

You're involved in the adult entertainment industry. Do you have relationships with porn stars, or do you prefer women that aren't directly involved in porn? How could guys get in with these types of women?

I am not really interested in dating a girl in porn because I think my girl having more intimacy with unknowns than they do with me would be confusing. I don't mind strippers however and have dated many of them. If you want to hang with porn girls, then get into that scene. Move to
Hollywood, start going to parties that porn people and porn girls go to, make friends and network, and eventually (make take a few years) you will be dating a porn girl.

What are some techniques for holding a conversation with a woman you just met?

First of all, your questions must come from a place of honest interest. If you don't give a crap what her sign is, don't ask! Try to come up questions that will tell you what she does for fun . . . where does she go out, how often, with whom. What does she do during weekends, etc. when she tells you something she does that you also do or want to do, let her know. If she is interested, then suggest, "lets do that together"! Then get her phone number and so that you can do that fun thing together.

Keep in mind that a great fun conversation at the bar and your mutual 100% enthusiasm for a date may dissipate by the time you call her a few days later. Usually only about 1/10 phone numbers can be turned into a date. When you call, be prepared to leave a phone message that compliments her, is funny, and gets right to the point: you have this great event going on and you want to know if she wants to join.

What are some examples of flirting that you use regularly?

Again, be honest. If you are interested in a girl, then tell her what interests her. Don't make stuff up . . . if her eyes are great tell, or if her dress is hot, let her know. If she seems uncomfortable with the compliments, then save them for later. if she loves it and gets closer, keep them coming. But watch out if you are moving fast, she may have a wall that appears suddenly! Don't get caught running full speed into her wall!

Do you have any parting words of advice?

Always overbook. Unless you have a girl that you have talked about having some sort of special relationship with, then when you go out, invite all the girls you like out at the same time.

Especialy if you haven't hooked up with any of the girls, do not be afraid of inviting them all out at the same time. Then if you do hook up with a girl, be very careful and take your time before you start phasing out the other girls just for her. Sometimes, as soon as you get rid of all the other girls, she is over it!

Take care of yourself to look good. Buy new clothes that are unique but also fit into the scene you are hanging with, and get your body in shape!

The Sincere Compliment - Direct At Its Easiest

Hey guys! We've been so busy running killer workshops at PickUp 101 in SF and NYC that I almost forgot to share the love here on The Attraction Chronicles.

But just in time for the long holiday weekend here in the U.S., here's an article that gives you all the tools you need to talk to any cute girl you see, and make a great, powerful, sexy first impression.

And you know that attraction happens right away, or not at all, so that first impression matter most.

Have fun!

The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.

That said, I do like to think I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:

• You are just starting out and dealing with the daunting task of approaching women for the first time (and wondering how in the hell anyone ever does anything this scary). This will get you started and get you positive responses immediately.
  
  
• You can do cold approaches but have trouble running a full story, or making an opinion opener sound right, or aren't able to jump right into fun banter right away. This gives you the open and lets her know right away you are more than just a guy making conversation. You are a guy flirting with her, and totally comfortable doing it.
  
  
• You can run attraction to the end of time but find that the girl never fully commits to you, but lets you entertain her until the guy she really connects with comes along. This establishes right from the start that you are confident, sexual, and have intent, and rewards her for being the woman who is deserving of that attention (for right now).
  
  
• You are a high-value guy and finding that you come on too strong for some girls and over game them without even realizing it. This will get them smiling and comfortable and let them relax and appreciate your interest.
  
  
• You are super-advanced and want to see just how basic you can break it down. This can make the game ridiculously easy now that you have internalized all the lessons of value and fun and the potential for great intimacy and sexual fulfillment you have to offer.

Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.

I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.

So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.

"I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you are just too cute."

Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her.

I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).

Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her?

Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good?

Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?

When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.

Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible, and it has to be about HER, not about her clothes, or stuff.

I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistently positive and comfortable responses as the word "cute." I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.

If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women.

And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.

You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women.

What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard.

What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.

All women want to be loved like little sisters, but there's a deeper level. They want to be loved like daughters.

They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and Sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.

There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, but for now, that's it. I encourage everyone to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.

And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.

- Sean

How To Keep A Woman Attracted

I liked this email for those guys that are getting into relationships from Lance at Pickup101.

I saw a headline today that said, "YouTube Serves Up 100 Million Videos A Day."

Now unless you've been living in some sort of cave you have probably looked at a youtube video at least once.

Probably more than once.

Some of them are hilarious (especially the recent ones about the infamous Zidane head butt), and some of them just plain suck.

But occasionally some one sends me a video that is actually painful to watch, and today was one of those occasions.

I got a link to this short clip that I thought was comedy about a guy breaking up with a girl. I figured the guy would get blown out and that was it.

Man was I wrong.

It starts off with a guy on the phone telling the girl that it's no big deal about the break up, and she should come get her stuff.

I'm thinking, this guy's got it right. Move on and get another girl right away.

But it gets worse quickly, and I mean downright ugly. There is scene after scene of this guy singing loves songs into her answering machine, crying into the phone while sitting in the bathtub, and practically stalking her to get her back.

I couldn't stand it!

I would rather listen to nails on a blackboard.

Listen I get a lot of questions from guys about how can they get this one girl back.

My advice forget about it! Or as I learned to say in New York... fagedaboutdit.

Let's review a few key points of attraction:

1. Attraction happens in an instant.

When you see the cute girl with the big booty in her tight jeans, you're attracted. It takes all of a few microseconds.

Attraction happens just as quickly for a woman, but for different reasons (so don't waste your time trying to squeeze your big butt into tight jeans).

The myth that you have to spend days or weeks to get a woman attracted is a load of donkey droppings.

The flip side is, if you don't keep her attracted, she'll find someone else.


2. Attraction is fleeting... it doesn't last without effort.

Just like when the women in the tight jeans is out of your sight and the next cutie walks
by, you've forgotten miss big booty.

So it is with a woman. If you can get them to talk about it, they'll tell you how many times a day they are attracted to guys. But it doesn't mean she will ever act on it.

And for relationships, once the attraction spark is gone... it's usually gone for good.

You will be wasting your valuable time trying to get her back attracted to you.

Why bother when there are so many women out there? Go get a new girlfriend, you'll be
happier.


3. Chasing is very unattractive

If you only learn one thing from me learn this valuable lesson.

Chasing is VERY UN-attractive.

You've probably already discovered when you pursue a woman, she gets less interested and more annoyed at you.

Think about how you feel, when a salesman won't leave you alone from the minute you walk in his store. All you want to do is look, and maybe get some info, and the guy is all over you like a cheap suit.

Well cute girls get that all day every day. Hell even average women get it every day.

So the second they think your chasing them, your screwed.

And please promise me you'll never beg a woman to come back to you. it's about the WORST thing you can do.

So maybe you are wondering what the heck you can do that gets attraction, and keeps it going, so you don't have to 'chase'.

The answer my friend is a simple six letter word... B A N T E R!

Banter sets you apart as being a man who is comfortable around women, enough to 'play' with her like she's an old friend.

Banter is one of the most powerful attraction triggers I know, and it's FUN!

And women NEVER get tired of it. You can use banter to keep your woman attracted just like she uses lingerie and mini-skirts.

If you want to see banter in action take a look at Surefire Attraction Secrets.

Now, go meet some women.

Your Friend,

Lance Mason