The Most Dangerous Aspect of Pickup

I liked this post on Pickup101's blog about some of the effects of learning pickup. I might not agree with everything, but I think the message rings true.

The most dangerous part of learning pick-up occurs when you start dehumanizing the people you talk to.

One way to do this is to use jargon to create an alternate reality. Now you’re not talking to a cute girl, you're sarging an SHB11. Whom you hope to f-close.

And it doesn’t matter if she rejects you, because she's not rejecting you, she's rejecting this alternate personality of silly clothes and other people’s routines.

The other easy way to dehumanize your interactions is just to have too many of them. The reason you can't find 50 girls a day is because you shouldn't be talking to 50 girls a day. Talk to 5 girls a day, but make your interactions count for something.

Hell, take it from me, if you resolve to talk to the hottest girl you see, every day, no matter what, that mission is pretty hard in itself.

Remember that the women you're talking to are people, too. At some point in your interaction you will be trying to make a real emotional connection with them. Those who forget this turn into what Neil Strauss ('Style') called "social robots".

In Art of Attraction we have several exercises that we use to overcome approach anxiety. No jargon, no dehumanization, no objectification. A few hours after they arrive at the workshop, our students are out there flirting with cute girls and making them laugh.

In the long run, I think dehumanizing the people you talk to has even worse effects. You need to internalize that these are other people, with their own hopes, dreams, and insecurities. They’re normal people, just like you, who want to meet fun strangers and laugh with them. If they're "HBs" and "targets" you’ll think of them that way forever.

So start small. Say hi to people and smile at them. Oh my God! They smile back. Give them a sincere compliment. Oh my God! They smile bigger. Practice a standard opener that you really like. Yeah, it's a crutch. There's no problem with that because you're going to use it to make a cute girl laugh, not "pump an HB’s buying temperature through the roof". Try it on friends first and make sure they laugh. Find a supportive wing and get out there and the most important thing is...

have fun!

Niels

Where To Take Women On Dates

From David Deangelo.

***QUESTION***

I have to admit your material is dead on the money. C & F works great, and your analysis of how the female mind works answers a lot of questions I've had.

While I am loath to admit it, I am a 22 y/o virgin. When girls find out about this they almost always ask why? Some girls have even gone as far as to change their minds about sleeping with me because I was a virgin. They claimed that they didn't want to risk giving me a bad first time, but I smell some BS there. I know girls read into everything, so what are they reading into the fact that I'm a virgin and is there any explanation I can give that won't have me looking like a loser?

Thanks D.S. Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow.

I really admire the fact that you're willing to reach out and ask for help.

Most guys are so caught up in themselves and their problems that they wind up suffering in silence... and, of course, are worse off because of it.

I'm going to give you an "outside the box" answer for your particular situation (even though it sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of "out of the box" thinking all by yourself... I know, I just couldn't help myself).

Here it is...

Don't talk about it.

Don't "explain" it in the first place.

Many problems in life are ILLUSIONS.

And yours is one of them.

Think of it this way...

Your dad, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on, all the way back to the first humans figured out how to have sex for the first time.

It's not that big of a deal, man.

I recommend that you focus on learning how a woman's body works, how to get her turned on and keep her turned on, etc. rather than focusing on YOURSELF... which is what you're doing.

If you can make a woman feel incredible physical pleasure, she won't care if you're a virgin. In fact, she won't ask or even bring the topic up, because she'll be feeling so good that the thought will never cross her mind.

It is not your obligation as a person to inform the person you're about to sleep with that you've never had sex before... lol.

Great email...


***QUESTION***

I am recently divorced and am 32 years old. Haven't dated since I was 21. So I have just kind of thrown myself back out there. A friend of mine told me about you and this newsletter so I started reading it and am fascinated by your advice. I have always been the nice guy - ready with an honest compliment and holding the door etc. Its not an act - its just how I am. But I seem to be sensing a problem with this...

With my friends and gal pals I get the "you're too nice" comment all the time. I am still trying to figure out how you can be too nice. How can you be too much of a gentleman. Is this truly something that can kind of trip you up dating these days, if
you are like me. Thanks

DK - Denver, Colorado

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah yes, the big realization that "nice" isn't always "good".

I'm going to give you a piece of advice that could be PRICELESS to you.

Get my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

It will change your entire perspective of how the world works (at least when it comes to dating and relationships).

I guarantee beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will get TREMENDOUS benefit from it.

Why do I just recommend my program rather than giving you an explanation?

Because I can tell from your question that you need more than a short answer.

You need a new understanding of WHY "nice" doesn't attract women... and what to do instead.

I was a "nice" guy for a lot of years of my own life, and I honestly believed that I was doing the "right thing".

It only makes sense, right?

How could it POSSIBLY be true that ANYTHING other than "niceness" could lead to success with women?

Well guess what?

It IS true.

And if you don't take the time and make the investment in yourself to LEARN what you need to do, you're going to suffer a lot longer than you need to.

Trust me on this one.

If, for some reason, you can't afford my program at this point in your life, then stay tuned to these newsletters for hints. There are a lot of good ideas here.

But if you can afford it, get it.

Women don't feel those powerful, magical, GUT-LEVEL emotions for "nice" guys.

It may suck, it may not be "fair", and it may not be "right" or whatever.

Get used to it. It's reality.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave,

I attended your seminar a few months ago and have almost all of your materials (guys you've got to get the interview series, it'll blow you away, and is VERY affordable). I am finally starting to "get it." Here's an example: I recently met a girl online (she responded to my personal ad) and we got together a few evenings ago. She stayed the whole evening and after some verbal teasing (C&F) things progressed physically. Teasing her with smooth kissing & touching then pulling away really seemed to turn her on (2 steps forward 1 step back). Later, after making out, I playfully tried to kick her out of my apartment. I said things like "isn't it past your bedtime, I need to sleep, don't you have to work tomorrow, don't your cats need food," etc. Well she didn't leave until 8 the next morning :) and even then she didn't want to leave, but had to go to work. We've exchanged several emails since, in which I've really busted her balls, she remains very interested and we're meeting again soon. I learned a few things here. Not only did proper use of the C&F and 2 steps forward, 1 step back concepts build sexual tension & anticipation, but trying to get rid of her (playfully), as counter-intuitive as it may seem, actually drew her closer. I realized that in general, being willing to walk away is so powerful because it shows you're confident and not needy, in control of yourself (and your hormones), and instantly makes you a challenge she must work for, all of which makes her want you more, not less. This worked especially well because I had set up the relationship properly first (i.e. created ATTRACTION). This definitely shows a big improvement in my "game." Keep the great materials coming!

N. from Salt Lake City (yeah you know me)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What can I say? You're the man...

It's clear to me that you've gotten to the point where you can UNDERSTAND what is going on... and you've reached the point where you can actually control yourself (and those hormones).

Nice!

Now, QUIT EXCHANGING "A FEW EMAILS" so fast!

Give her room to miss you and think about you.

Give her at LEAST a day or two off here and there to think about you... but not hear from you.

If you do not, you'll feel the tide begin to shift, her interest begin to fade, and you'll be wondering what happened.

Now keep up the great work!


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dear David:

I have been receiving your emails for a few weeks now, and wanted to pass along a success story of my own.

I heard something on the radio few weeks ago that grabbed my attention. The caller said that he just walks up to women he sees, and asks them for their bra or panties or both. (He only tells them that he collects them.) Well, after reading your emails, I thought this was a great C&F thing to try. I went out last Saturday night, and I saw an attractive woman and told her that I was collecting women's underwear, and that I wanted hers. After the shock wore off, she got up and went into the bathroom. When she came out, she handed me her panties and said, " I swear to God, if you sniff these, I'll kick your ass." Well, I couldn't resist. I turned around and stuck out my butt. She smacked it, and then I sniffed her panties! Again, she was so shocked she just stood there looking at me with her mouth open. Well, to make a long story short, when I left a few minutes later, she was giving me her number without my even asking for it!!! I would never have thought of doing something like this before reading your emails, let alone actually doing it. You've changed my life. Thank you

B. B. Casper, WY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I don't know what to say to this one, except for "I had to include this one".

Guys, try this one at your own risk...

But it makes for some damn good reading.

Maybe it's something in the water there in Casper, Wyoming...


***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Great stuff. I got your e-book a while back, and it has totally changed my attitude and approach towards women. It's helped me tremendously in meeting and talking to them. I can't wait to get your advanced series. My dilemma is is that I'm only 5-2, I weigh 120 lbs., and I'm balding, to top it off (pardon the pun). I know from experience that most females will pretty much have nothing to do with a guy as short as I am. On the rare occasion, when I can meet someone who isn't so worried about height, I have no problem being c & f and making them laugh. But even they seem to not take me so seriously. I even tried my luck online, but again, it's the rare female that responds to me. Credit to those who do, they usually are a ton of fun to talk to, and could care less how tall a guy is. Any recommendations (short of platform shoes or stilts) on different approaches I could use to change my luck with them, and make them realize that personality's more important than height?

T in FLA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, my recommendation is that you stop thinking that you have a "dilemma".

You have what you have.

Calling it a dilemma, thinking of your size as a problem, and trying to figure out "tricks" or techniques to deal with your "problems" isn't the answer.

Do this:

Boldly approach every woman you're interested in as if you're the greatest opportunity she will ever have.

Learn how to overcome your own issues with yourself.

Stop talking about "luck" as if it's the reason why you're unsuccessful with women.

Approach each new woman with an open mind, and realize that every one is different.

Most importantly...

If you are rejected, shut down, criticized, put down, laughed at, or whatever is the WORST thing you can think of, GET OVER IT.

You'll get in a car every day without thinking about it, and drive down a road at 60 miles per hour, NEARLY MISSING every single car that goes by in the other lane...literally taking your LIFE into your hands... with NO FEAR... but you're allowing your concept of how women are biased against you IMMOBILIZE you.

Stop that!

Your whole "I know from experience that woman won't have anything to do with a guy that's as short as I am" thing is BS!

I have a friend who's about 5'4" or so who is ALWAYS surrounded by hot women.

In fact, a DIFFERENT friend of mine who's also shorter dates some of the most beautiful women in the world.

Your limitation is in your mind.

Sure, women PREFER taller guys ON AVERAGE.

But your limiting belief sucks. Get rid of it.


***QUESTION***

Hey D, I'm a 20 year old guy, i work in a grocery store and am attending college. I read your newsletters but haven't gotten around to buying your book yet. Anyway, here it is, I use your C&F techniques with women that i meet, get their numbers and email, etc. but when we go out, not like a date, just to the clubs, or parties, or whatever. Most of the time even though i was the one who did everything, the girls always seemed to be more interested in my friends than in me. I don't act to needy or clingy or wuss like (i once was, but after reading some of your newsletters i realized i was being more of an ass than anything). anyway, can you help me out here?
later.

T in elba

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well what are you doing, man?

You get a woman's email and number, then call her, then get a date with her... then take her to A PARTY?

Or even WORSE, a CLUB?

Duh.

The whole idea of getting a girl's email and number is so you can spend more time ALONE with her.

If you want to hang out with women at clubs, DON'T TAKE YOUR DATE, dumbass.

Are you familiar with the concept of not taking sand to the beach?

Here's my recommendation:

When you're arranging your first date with a girl, tell her to come to your house, and that you'll go to coffee or tea with her from there.

Then, when you're finished with your beverages, tell her that you want to show her your new Spiderman comic books.

ANYTHING is better than taking a girl to a party, dude.

Stop it!

Oh, and quit being lazy, and download my eBook.

It's going to make your life a lot better, and fast. You can download it in seconds, and be reading it and tons of other good stuff:

eBook Download


***QUESTION***

David,

I've never really had any problems getting numbers from girls. I have been using your guidelines even before I knew what they were. I always keep it short and to the point. No fancy pick-up lines just say "hi" get a little personal info, crack a
joke and bam I'm off, usually with a number in hand ( or in phone ). But lately I've been testing out a new strategy that has been getting very positive results. I wanted to see what your insights were and whether you had any additional advice on the subject.

The strategy is pretty simple, I just blow girls off. I start off acting very interested, ie.. getting a number or name, and then I let that marinade with them for as long as it takes for them to break down. Usually they keep pestering me to call them, hang out, whatever. I just keep acting like ( not telling them outright ) I will call or that we will go hang out "sometime". Being a college student, eventually I see these girls out on the weekend at a club, bar, party or any social gathering, and they are so excited that I'm finally in a place to hang out with them hooking up is almost too easy. Anyway. what do you think? Good? Bad? And what are the possible negative aspects of this strategy.

J.C.

Knoxville, TN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The only possible "negative" aspects of this strategy are:

1) You might have to get a new phone number because you'll have so many women calling you.

2) You may need to move as well to avoid the stalkers.

You're on the right track BIG TIME here.

This is gold, pure and simple.

Now you're talking.


***QUESTION***

Dave - I recently met this lady and after a little chit chat she gave me her email. I sent her an email a couple days later which basically said that i would like to get to know her. She did not respond to the email, but two days later I saw her and she came to me and said thank you for the note. My question is whether or not she is worth pursuing?

L

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Not. Oh, and stop sending emails to women that say "I'd like to get to know you".

Be interesting.

Be fun.

Say crazy stuff.

Play.

Bust her chops.

ENERGY!

Have you been reading my newsletters?

Boring is BAD.

You sound boring to me.

Bad.


***SUCCESS STORY**

David,

I've been getting your newsletters for a few weeks now and I realized something. When I was younger I was very successful with women because I didn't care about a relationship. I'm 30 years old now and somewhere along the line I started behaving differently because I was looking for someone to settle down with. That is when I started having problems meeting women. By reading your newsletter, I made the connection as to why I was successful in the past. It had nothing to do with how I looked, but my attitude.

Last week I decided to put your methods to the test. There's this girl that had been flirting with me at a weekly gathering some of my friends attend. At the end of the night I made my move and she shot me down cold. When I asked what all the flirting had been about she said that it was all in good fun. The next week I started the cocky & funny routine. She pulled me outside, threw her arms around me and said, "Kiss me!" I blew her off and made some smart ass comment. She just stood there staring at me like she couldn't believe what had just happened. I just stared back and refused to break eye contact. Eventually, she looked away, slapped me on the arm and said, "You're bad!" Later on we made out on the balcony and then she asked what I thought.In a sarcastic tone, I said, "It was alright." She playfully punched me in the arm and I went inside and acted like nothing had happened between us. It was great to turn the tables on her. If I've started having success just by reading your newsletter, I can't wait to order your materials.

S, Oklahoma

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Gold star for you.

You get it. Your letter should be read by every living single man, period.

Thank you, and good night.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,
I just got your Advanced Series in the email last week and I've been studying left and right for the past 7 days. It is thoroughly phenomenal!!! In my life, I've never heard such powerful techniques for attaining lifestyle success - this is a godsend to me! Thank You so much!!

Now, to the success...I went on a road trip yesterday to Indianapolis to visit a friend and stopped off at the shopping mall to pick up a few shirts. There was a smokin' black girl working in the store and I reallllly wanted to approach her so I say, "Excuse me, Fashion Goddess..." and hold up two shirts to compare, "...if you saw me at a party wearing one of these shirts, which one would you find me most attractive in?" "The green one", she replies. I say to her, "Well, I'll make sure not to get that one, then...see, I've been trying to avoid unstable women lately." Dave, this woman's jaw just drops to the floor - I broke right through her brat barrier in no time flat. So, we flirt for 10 minutes or so...and I TELL her - not asking her - to take her lunch break with me, because I'm hungry and I need someone to buy me lunch. Well, of course, she did and she bought me lunch after 10 minutes of flirting and ball busting. And, as a side note, she was 27 and seemed to be very experienced with guys and I JUST TURNED 21 this week - she knew this first hand and didn't even care...I made her feel attraction off the bat and, as you say, "No amount of logic (or age differences) could convince her otherwise". PHENOMENAL!!!!! I'll definitely get together with this bombshell next time I'm in town.

Thanks Dave, this stuff is absolutely changing my life!!! I can't wait for some of the new products!!!

Ciao! DF Bloomington, IN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, another man that gets it.

You've pointed out a personal favorite little humor trick of mine...

Leading a girl to think that you're saying onething, then turning it completely around.

Another example:

You sit down to eat at a restaurant, and start talking to the cute waitress.

You start flirting with her. She flirts back a little bit.

Next, you ask her what she thinks the best thing is on the menu.

After she answers, you either say:

"Well, if your taste in food is even half as good as your taste in men, then it must be damn good."

or...

"Well, I just wanted to know what to avoid...so I'll make sure to NOT order that."

Good stuff.

Killer flirting material.

Thanks for your email... keep it up.