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The Most Dangerous Mistake Men Make With Women

10.22.2005

posted by Donovan at 9:29 AM

woman flirting
I'm here to warn you.

You're making a terrible mistake.

It's a mistake you're probably making that is destroying your success with women.

And you know what the worst thing is?

YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE MAKING IT!

Do you know what it is?

Like most of the big mistakes out there, its so simple, you're going to go "duh" when you hear about it.

I'd like you to imagine for a moment...

You're out on a Friday night at your favorite place, and you see a drop-dead beautiful woman.

Seriously, this is the type of girl you've been searching your whole life for.

Instantly, you get that nervous feeling in your gut.

Things start racing through your mind, like:
  • What do I say to her?
  • What if she's here with other people? What do I do then?
  • What if I get rejected?
  • What if people are watching me and I fail?
You finally work up the courage to go over to her and use one of your openers to start a conversation with her.

Things seem to go well, until you ask her for her number, at which point things go wrong.

Maybe she doesn't give you her number.

Or maybe she does, but it's a wrong number.

Or maybe it's the right number, but when you call her up, she doesn't remember you or doesn't return your calls.

Does any of this sound familiar?

If it does, then...

YOU'RE MAKING THE MOST DANGEROUS MISTAKE THERE IS WITH WOMEN!

When I say "Dangerous," I mean it's the type of mistake that can absolutely BLOW any chance you have out of the water and leave you crashing and burning in the long run.

Do you know what it is?

The most dangerous mistake you can make with approaching women is:

FOCUSING MORE ON YOURSELF THAN ON HER.

(See, I told you it was simple)

Most guys who do this don't recognize they're doing it, or even that what they're doing is WRONG.

That's because it's very easy to focus on yourself instead of others.

When you get that nervous feeling, it's easy to just think about that. When you see a girl you like, it's easy to think about what you should do to meet her. When you're talking to a girl, it's easy to just focus on what you should say next.

But it's the easy stuff that will usually lead you astray. Let's go back a little bit...

Let's say you're out on Friday night at your favorite place again. And you see that drop-dead gorgeous woman.

Now, instead of focusing on that nervous feeling in your gut, you focus on her!

Is she alone, or with friends?

Does she look bored?

Does she look drunk?

Is she smiling?

Does she look like she's attached to any of the people she's with?

Is she wearing a wedding ring?

Focus on her, and observe as much as you can.

When you approach her and start a conversation, continue to pay attention.

Does she look interested in what you have to say, or is she just humoring you?

Look at her eyes. Do her pupils dilate as you talk to her?

Does she touch you at all while talking to you?

Does she play with her hair at all?

THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO!

There's an old saying that goes "Don't listen to what people say, it's what they do that reveals their true intentions."

You may not be able to figure out what a woman wants based on what she says...

But you CAN figure out what she wants based on her BODY LANGUAGE.

Body language never, ever lies.

That's why if you can learn to focus your attention on your target instead of yourself, you will be able to avoid heartache and rejection!

You'll be able to tell when what you're doing isn't working, and when you're wasting your time.

You'll also be able to tell what you're doing right and when to make your move!

In the book, The Art Of Approaching, the author goes into great detail about how to read a woman's body language.

It's a secret most men don't know about, but that all the best ladies men do.

And you can do it too!

If you know how.

If you haven't picked up that book yet and learned how to do this, then you're going to keep making the same mistake over and over again.

Seriously, why deal with all that let-down and rejection that comes with striking out?

You don't LIKE rejection, do you?

Of course not. I recommend Art of Approaching for getting rid of this mistake and others, you can check it out on the link below, or even follow that link and ONLY sign up for the free newsletter.

Click to download e-book or sign up for free newsletter

Soon, you'll be able to avoid that dangerous mistake and start
enjoying real success with women everywhere!

Wishing you success,

Thundercat


P.S. If you have a success story you would like to share, or a
question you would like to ask, or a comment you would like to
make, please email me at:

attractionchronicles@gmail.com
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posted by Donovan at 9:29 AM Dating Advice for Men

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The Secret To Meeting More Women

10.21.2005

posted by Donovan at 2:01 PM

Start meeting MORE women!!

Has this ever happened to you?

You go out with some buddies for a night on the town, hoping to meet a girl to have some fun with. You head to a bar, get a booth, and order drinks. The place is kickin', and you and your buddies are having a good time looking at all the pretty girls... except nobody is meeting any them. You want to talk to them, but you feel more comfortable sitting around with your friends talking about how you would like to go home with a girl that night. Instead, you all end up leaving the same way you came in - together.

This is a pretty common occurrence among the lovelorn bachelor. This is a symptom of what I like to call the "comfort zone."

Basically, everyone has a comfort zone. This is a state of mind where people are surrounded by that which is FAMILIAR. Familiarity breeds complacency, which can keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your goals, because that action introduces uncertainty into your life - something the comfort zone likes to keep at bay.

So when you want to meet a woman, you need to know how to break out of this comfort zone.

How do you do this?

The answer is self-evident: You must learn to meet women BY YOURSELF!

Friends can be a great asset, but most of the time, going out with friends actually HINDERS your ability to meet women. Not just because of the comfort zone factor, but because other guys who don't know what they're doing with girls can actually ruin the
interactions you have with them - be it by jealousy or ineptitude. So the best way to counter this is to LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND.

But the prospect of going out by oneself can strike fear into the hearts of men. After all, doesn't going out by yourself signal to everyone that you're a loser with no friends? Doesn't it make you look creepy?

The answer to both these questions is:

NO!!!!!

The simple act of going out on your own can shake your comfort zone, because you have no anchors to keep you there. Often your friends will act as an anchor to your comfort zone that keep you from approaching women. And it is easier to break out of this comfort zone without those anchors present. Plus, you don't have to worry about failing with women and being judged by your friends if they're not around.

But the most powerful thing about going out by yourself is that it puts your focus on what you are doing. This means that every interaction you have is without distraction, so it is more easily examined and the problems you had are more easily identified. This allows you to spot your sticking points more quickly and correct them.

Not only that, but being out by yourself gives you the freedom of flexibility when it comes to where you're going and who you talk to. If you're bored with a place, you can leave and go to another one. If you want to talk to a girl who your friends might poke fun at you for, you can. Not only this, but you're free to mess up the interactions you have, because chances are, no one there will ever see you again, so you don't have to worry about what others think of you.

But like all things, knowing what to say will help you to go out by yourself and succeed at increasing your ability to approach. There are many examples of Openers to say in my book The Art of Approaching, but some guys will need to know how to handle the inevitable question "Where are your friends?"

Something I've used to great effect is the answer "Oh, they're around." This simple dismissive statement not only answers the question, but as far as anyone knows, you're telling the truth.

But if you want to take it a step further, I've even used this as an Opener at times I've been out by myself.

The "My Friends Ditched Me" Opener

This works good whenever you're out somewhere by yourself. Basically, you approach your target or a group, and say:

"Hey guys, you won't believe this. All week, me and my friends have been planning on going out and having a good time, because we've all been busy and we wanted to blow off some steam. So we made plans to go out tonight, right? Well, one by one they call me up and say stuff like "I'm too tired," or "My girlfriend wants to watch a movie," and stuff like that. Some friends huh? Bunch of lame-o's. But I'm thinking there might be something more to this, because last week two of my friends had a knock-down drag out fight over some girl they both like, so the situation is all weird. Do you guys have any friends who got split up by someone they both
liked?"

Using this, you set the stage that you're out by yourself because, well, unlike your friends, YOU'RE not lame! Not only that, you throw in a nice Drama Opener in there to engage the group.

And if you're still too shy to go out by yourself, then try this little trick:

When you go out with your friends -- DITCH THEM. Go off on your own and leave them behind for a while, then meet up with them later. This can be quite an effective method if your friends don't mind you leaving!

If you don't know what a Drama Opener is, check it out in my book The Art of Approaching. It's got TONS of openers and other things to say so that you never have to worry about how you're going to meet women again. If you're one of those guys who gets tounge-tied around beautiful girls, or if your mind likes to "blank" out on you, then you definitely need to check out my book right now by clicking below:

Click Here To Download Now

Once you learn the secrets I unleash in my book, you'll know how to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may be -- whether you're alone or not!

To your success!

Thundercat
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posted by Donovan at 2:01 PM Dating Advice for Men

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Top 5 Reasons: Why a Woman Would Break Up With YOU

10.20.2005

posted by Donovan at 4:51 PM


I've often thought about the topic of why women leave men. Especially when the woman seems happy, and the guy is such a 'nice' guy. I have recently come to the realization of why women leave men. And I'm going to share it with you, so you can prevent it.

The main all-encompassing principle is that the male stops being attractive. Let's get into some specific examples from the most common reason to the least.

Big Number 1. Clingy

The man is too obsessive. He hangs around her to much, and seeks her attention CONSTANTLY. This is a huge negative, especially for a woman that has so much offer, usually she has a life. She needs space, she also needs companionship. Make sure you supply that, and give her her independence.

Close Number 2. Approval Seeking

You're doing those things that you know you shouldn't. Like: What do you want to do tonight hunny? or I really wanted to see that movie, but I guess we can see yours... This is prime wussy behavior. STOP IT. Beautiful, interesting women will not tolerate this behavior for very long. I guarantee in 98% of situations you didn't start out that way. The David DeAngelo range of materials actually talks in-depth about this topic. It was interesting to find out the ways I was ruining my chances in more ways than one which I wasn't even aware of.

Further down 3. Jealously

Don't ever be jealous. If she's with you, she’s with YOU. You would hope she is constantly being flirted with around you. She's obviously hot, good job! Control that emotion and funnel it into humor, by occasionally 'negging' (slight self-esteem hit) her. Say something after a man says, "You're so lucky to be with a woman that great...", reply by saying something like, "I know, imagine how much she had to work to get me!"

Almost to the end 4: Boring and Predictable

So many guys are boring and predictable. Don't answer you're phone 1 out of 10 times, just to have her think more about you. (It works on us doesn't it guys?) Do stuff spontaneously with her, that’s interesting and unpredictable, like go snowboarding if you've never been, or skydive one day, or if you never dress up and go to an expensive restaurant - do that!

Mix and match it up so it's interesting for both of you. Also, be different in personality, be nice some times, be a little mean other times but respectful. Try being really busy and not clingy if you're always available for her. DYD talks extensively about this.

The final 5: Not doing what worked.

In the beginning you got her! What did you do? How did you act around her? Forget what relationship books say, do what worked! Remember the old saying, "If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten!" That works for good results as well. So keep it up! Don't call her back in a second if that's not what you did originally.

Ok, you get the point of this post. I'm passionate about these things, because I know they MATTER. They really EFFECT how a relationship works.

Women have a HUGE amount of options, don't give her the chance to consider them when she's already got the best one.

Good luck mate,

Donovan

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posted by Donovan at 4:51 PM Dating Advice for Men

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How To Get Past A Woman's Defenses

10.19.2005

posted by Donovan at 9:35 PM

Here's an interesting story...

A few hours ago I was standing in a "posh" bar in San Francisco.

I was standing near to the bar, looking around at the people, when the guy next to me starts talking to a girl that he doesn't know.

She turned and looked at him with a look that said "I don't know you, I don't want to talk to you, and you have no chance with me".

The look on her face couldn't have been more clear. As soon as he started talking to her, she put up her defenses.

The more he tried to talk to her, the more annoyed she got.

It was painful to watch.

Then things got REALLY interesting.

The guy turned to me and started making conversation with me.

He asked me how I was "doing" with the ladies at the bar.

I told him that I had just arrived, and I wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to women at the moment... I was just enjoying my drink and relaxing.

He then started to talk about how "meeting women was a numbers game" and how he had been "laying rap" on women all night... but he didn't have any "luck" so far.

We started discussing our different approaches to meeting women.

I told him that when I decide to talk to a woman that I really find attractive, I am confident that I'll be successful with her.

He kind of laughed and told me that meeting women was a game of luck, and if you wanted to win, you had to just keep playing the numbers...and hope you find one that likes you.

Right at that moment, two cute women walked up to the bar. One of them was very hot. - He looked at the hotter girl, pointed to her, and said "I like that".

I said "Well then go talk to her".

He decided to go "order a drink" (in other words, he was going to go up to the bar and FAKE like he was there to order a drink, and then "accidentally" start a conversation with her).

Of course, he already HAD a drink, so he fumbled around trying to find a place to put it down so he could walk up to the bar with no drink and not look like he was "on the make".

It was pretty damn funny.

Anyway, he squeezes in next to this girl, and tries to act like he's just there to get a drink. He then turns to her, and tries to start a conversation.

What happened? Of course...

Her defenses went up INSTANTLY.

She said a few words to him, but then turned away from him, took her drink and her friend, and walked away from the bar.

He came back over to me and made no comment about the interaction with her...

I watched him try to talk to more women after that... all with the same result.

Their defenses went up AS SOON as he started talking to them.

This guy's theory of "talking to a lot of women until you get lucky and find one who likes you" was working pretty well...

Except for the fact that he WASN'T getting "lucky" at all, and NO women liked him....

HITTING THE WALL

Have you ever been in a situation talking to a girl, and you could just FEEL that she had her "defenses up"?

Or have you ever been out on a date with a woman, and had a bad feeling in your GUT about the situation... and no matter what you did, the situation only got worse, and she seemed to get further away from you?

If you're like me, then you've been in a LOT of these situations.

In fact, I think it's happened to me so many times that I have "female defense radar". It's like I can tell INSTANTLY if a woman has her defenses up... and it doesn't feel GOOD.

You've been there... one minute everything is OK, and the next minute she has flipped on some kind of force-field that is PERMANENT.

You know what I'm talking about...

And once the defenses are up, it's as if she has become a DIFFERENT person. And trying to make it better, only makes it worse.

Always.

That's called HITTING THE WALL.

And once you hit it, there's no bouncing back.

A WOMAN'S DEFENSES, AND HOW THEY WORK

So what's up with that?

Why do women have this "defense mechanism"?

What triggers it?

And how can we, as guys, get past it?

Well, the reality is that a woman's defense mechanism is something that PROTECTS her. It saves her time. And it saves her headaches and hassles.

You've heard me say that attractive women are approached ALL THE TIME by men. In one way or another, an attractive woman is CONSTANTLY approached and pursued by men.

Women can't afford to spend even a FRACTION of their time with every guy who shows interest, so they use "time management" techniques.

How 21st century of them.

One of these "time management techniques" is their defense mechanism.

If a girl decides that she isn't interested in being with a particular guy... and it doesn't matter if it's within the first five seconds or the first five months... the mechanism kicks in.

It creates an invisible wall that protects her. You can feel it. She can feel it. And even though neither of you can see it, you both know that it's more powerful than a real wall... because most men don't know how to get PAST it.

I know that you've thought about this issue at some point. If you're like me, you've thought about it a LOT. Maybe even obsessively. Maybe you have even schemed and tortured yourself trying to figure out the magic way to get past a woman's defenses...

Are you with me here?

A NEW WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS...

What if I were to tell you that YOU are the one who actually controls her defense mechanism?

And what if I were to tell you that all this time, YOU'RE THE ONE who's been causing women to put up their defenses, and shut you out?

And what if I told you that looking for the magic way to "get past her defenses" was really a waste of time?

What if I told you instead that the ULTIMATE way to "get past" her defenses was to NEVER CAUSE HER TO PUT THEM UP in the first place.

See, the reality is that her defenses are a RESPONSE or a REACTION to something YOU are doing. YOU are the one who's doing things that kick off the sequence of events.

In fact, if you think of it from this particular perspective, you'll realize that you
REALLY ARE controlling her defense mechanisms.

BACK TO MY STORY...

Shortly after his "bad luck" episodes, the guy I was talking to in the bar walked away from me.

I stood at the bar thinking of what he had just said and done... and how so many guys I've met think the same way.

Right then, a woman asked me if I'd move over a little bit so she could order a drink.

I said "sure", and turned sideways so she could squeeze in next to me.

At first, I turned my back to her.

After a minute or two, I turned back around, and started talking to her and her friends.

I was teasing them and making fun, and generally being a pain in the ass.

There were a total of four girls there together, and I was talking to three of them.

I turned my attention to the quietest of the three, and started teasing her.

I asked her why she was so quiet, teasing her about it, etc.

Every time I asked her a question or said something, she either shook her head "no" or nodded her head "yes".

No words.

Finally, she held up her left hand and proudly displayed her wedding ring.

She said "I'm married".

I laughed at her and said "Wow, good for you. I guess if I was trying to pick up on you I'd be pretty upset right now... but I'm not, so you don't have anything to worry about".

Now, the REALITY of the situation was that I was NOT trying to "pick up on her".

She was the least attractive woman in the group, and her personality was about as
interesting as a mule's.

Her friends heard me say this to her, and they turned and looked at me with wide eyes.

They couldn't believe that I had just said that to their friend, and they could tell that I was being VERY serious, and that I could care less what she thought of me.

I went on talking to these four girls for the rest of the night... about another hour or so.

I mixed up the conversation.

Sometimes I talked to one of them... sometimes two... sometimes three... sometimes all four.

I teased them all, busted on them, called them all kinds of freaky-chick names, and generally acted like they were my four, bratty little sisters that annoyed me... but who I still loved (a little).

By the end of the evening, I was sitting on a little couch with three of the girls.

At this point, there were almost NO women left at this bar. I'd say the guy/girl ratio was about 6 or 7 to 1.

I could see about 30 guys standing around me, and maybe 5 or 6 women. And I had 3 of those 5 or 6 on the couch next to me.

At one point, two of them were on either side of me massaging me at the same time. It was funny.

Of course RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT the guy from earlier walked by, stopped, and looked at me. The look of shock in his eyes was priceless. He didn't even say hi... he just walked away.

The evening ended with two of the girls kissing me, and one of them getting my number because she was going to be in my area in a few weeks and wanted to see me...

Now, don't bust my balls about not "closing the deal"... lol. I could have had a CRAZY evening with these girls, but it's not exactly my style, and I wasn't in the mood to stay up all night.

Let's get down to the point...

The reason why I was so successful with these particular women was because I didn't do what every other guy that they ran into did...

I didn't trigger their DEFENSE MECHANISMS.

They had time to get to know me... they had time to get comfortable with me... and I had
time to spark all kinds of sexual tension and attraction with them.

Now let me tell you how I did it...

WHAT TRIGGERS A WOMAN'S DEFENSE MECHANISM... AND HOW TO AVOID IT

I'm about to give you a VERY important insight into how women interact with men.

Pay close attention to this. It's taken me a LONG time to figure this out...

Women are VERY perceptive.

They know what a guy is thinking by looking at his body language, and listening to his voice tone.

Some experts estimate that women are as much as TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language.

To most women, men are an OPEN BOOK.

Guys have no idea just how obvious they are...

And there's one particular thing that triggers a woman's defense mechanism faster than a chubby kid eats cake...

It's SEEKING APPROVAL.

In every situation with a woman, you can say WHATEVER you want to say in a way that either:

1) Seeks her approval

2) Doesn't seek her approval

Think about it.

You're either SEEKING APPROVAL... or you're NOT...

And most guys ARE when they're talking to a woman that they're interested in.

As I watched the guy in the bar walk up to women and try to start conversations all night, the ONE thing that was obvious to all that had the eyes to see, was that he wanted APPROVAL.

He wanted the women to LIKE him.

I guarantee you that this man was an honest- to-goodness certifiable WUSSY... and every woman that he tried to talk to could SMELL it on him.

On the other hand, when I talk to a woman, I avoid seeking approval.

I make it clear, no matter what I'm saying or doing, that it doesn't matter whether or not she likes me... I could care less.

The more I made it clear to the women I was talking to, that I DIDN'T need their approval, the more they LIKED ME.

If you want to get past a woman's defenses, the best plan of action is to NOT TRIGGER them IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Now, the reality of this situation is that some women are walking around with their defenses already up. Maybe they're married, or maybe they're angry at men... or maybe they're just very shy.

We live in the real world, and this is part of it.

But in most situations YOU are the one who triggers the defenses. It's YOU.

I have several friends who I've watched interacting with women MANY, MANY times... and these particular guys RARELY, if EVER get the "defensive" cold shoulder from women.

Why?

Because they're not seeking approval. They're just doing what they want, and being themselves.

If you can spend an hour talking to a woman, and not seek her approval the entire time, you stand a DRAMATICALLY better chance of taking things to the next level with her.

That simple demonstration of showing her a full hour of non-approval-seeking behavior and communication will separate you from 99% of all the guys that have approached her in her life.

And the best part about this particular technique is that it's NOT MANIPULATION. In fact, seeking approval is far more manipulative than what I'm saying here.

In fact, one of the reasons why women don't like a guy who seek approval, is because they INSTANTLY sense that the guy is using a MANIPULATIVE tactic.

If you think through the situations that you've been in with women, you realize that this is the case.

So stop seeking women's approval when you meet them.

Stop it!

Learn how to say things in a way that clearly communicates that you don't need her to like you or approve of you.

Then learn how to be Cocky & Funny.

When you can make a woman laugh while you're NOT seeking her approval, you have a powerful combination that sparks ATTRACTION.

Which leads me to the VERY BEST way of all to "get past a woman's defenses".

MAKE HER FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU.

If a woman feels a powerful ATTRACTION for you, then the kinds of defenses that we're talking about here don't even come into play.

Attraction is such a powerful physical and emotional response that it temporarily disables a woman's defense mechanisms...

It's the one thing, if you know how to do it, that women WISH you would trigger inside of them.

Once a woman starts to feel that magical emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION, the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about.

And most women go through life WISHING, HOPING, AND DREAMING that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling...

That man should be you.

And what's the best way for you to learn how to trigger this magical response that we're talking about here?

I thought you'd never ask...

The best way to learn is to invest in the programs that I've created to TEACH you this stuff.

Start with my book "Double Your Dating". It will take you through the basics... and teach you my main concepts, theories, and techniques... very quickly. You can download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes. Get it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingMethod.com/e/10000/eBook/

Next, you want to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program. This is a "Boot Camp" style training... and it will teach you exercises for overcoming your fears and raising your self image with women... along with hundreds of different concepts, theories, and specific step-by-step techniques for all aspects
of meeting women and getting dates.

Once you've finished with those programs, and you'd like to get more in-depth training in specific areas, check out some of my more intensive, focused programs via my website.
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posted by Donovan at 9:35 PM Dating Advice for Men

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How To Be The Man Women Love

10.18.2005

posted by Donovan at 11:41 AM

I want to share an observation with you.

Have you ever noticed that too often, men are willing to go against what they think, feel, and believe because there is a woman available to them?
Seduction, neil strauss, dating, the game
And the thing is, the men KNOW that what they're doing is going to turn out badly, but they do it anyhow because they want to be with a girl in some way.

By the same token, many men are willing to let the women they're with walk all over them and treat them like crap because they're getting sex out of the deal (if they're lucky, anyway).

Us boys have a name for this behavior.

It's called being "whipped."

We've all had a friend at one time or another who's suffered from this condition. He's a cool guy, a good friend, but suddenly he meets a woman and he can't go out drinking because he's gotta pick her car up from the shop or take her kid out to the park, or whatever task she has assigned him.

And it's not the fact that she needs him to do things for her, it's the fact that he gives up any sense of what his life was in order to please her.

The problem that comes from this situation is that the guy often not only loses the respect of his friends, but also the respect of the woman he's with. The very person he's trying hardest to please begins to resent him and take him for granted.

This is why having rules and standards is important.

It comes down to a matter of SELF RESPECT.

People who have no code, no rules by which they live their lives, no standards by which they hold themselves up to, are weak people. They look for others to give them an identity, to give them a purpose.

But having rules and standards allows you to define who you are and stand on your own two feet. People who know what they are, and are not willing to do, garner respect from others.

Most unhealthy relationships stem from the problem of weakness in one of the partners.

Typically, women want a dominant man in a relationship. And when I say dominant, I DON'T mean the ball-gag, chains, and leather whips kind-of dominant. I mean a guy who takes control of the relationship and is a source of strength for the woman he's with. A man who makes her feel safe and eliminates uncertainty from her life.

But the woman aside, it's more about making YOU happy. It's about having respect for yourself and what you want out of life.

If you have a certain type of woman you want to be with, don't lower your standards just to get laid or whatever. That's not respecting yourself. Go after the type of woman you want instead of settling for what you can easily get.

You'll be happier that way.

If you have a rule where you don't want to date single moms because you don't want to take care of someone else's kids - or whatever your reason may be - then don't do it! If you meet a girl, but she's a single mom, stay true to your rule. There's a reason you made it a rule in the first place, right?

In the end, having rules and standards makes you a more attractive person, because it conveys confidence and conviction, two traits women always find attractive in a man.

And as you know, women are complicated beings, and it seems most men are clueless when it comes to dealing with them!

So let me ask you this...

If you have more questions about how to be successful in your lovelife, what would it be like to have all those questions answered and enjoy attracting the incredible women you've always
dreamed of?

  • Maybe there's a girl you want to meet?
  • Maybe there's a girl you want to take out on a date?
  • Maybe there's a girl you just want to sleep with?
  • But how do you DO all this with the women you want?

Well fear not, my friend. Because answers are here. And with answers, come hope.

Listen, we all know what it's like to struggle with women. Sometimes you're too afraid to meet them because you don't want to be rejected. Sometimes, you're afraid to ask them out because you don't know what to do on the date. And sometimes, you might even be afraid to "close the deal" because you don't know what to do in the bedroom!

All of your problems can be solved with one thing and one thing only...

Knowledge.

Knowledge and the will to apply it!

In my time learning to be successful with women, I've gotten to meet some of the best dating experts in the world! And they've taught me some amazing secrets to their success with the fairer sex.

But after a seeing how incredible this information was they were sharing with me, I started to feel guilty.

Guilty that I was privy to all this fantastic advice, and no one else was!

Can you imagine what it would be like to get EXPERT advice from EXPERIENCED ladies men who KNOW what they're talking about?

What would it feel like if you could walk up to any woman you want, without fear, and easily strike up a conversation with her?

What would it feel like if you could go out on a date, confident that it was going to end the way YOU wanted it to?

What would it feel like to be so amazing in the bedroom, you've literally got women BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR to be your willing love slave again and again?

When you literally FEEL that kind of confidence around women, you won't even have to work at getting them! They'll be the ones trying to get YOU.

That's not a lie my friend, nor is it marketing BS. That's the truth.

The great thing is that you CAN feel that way. You can walk through life powerfully, without fear of rejection, enjoying success with beautiful women, despite your looks, social standing,
or bank account.

It is possible, if you're willing to learn.

I have accumulated some amazing advice from the best seducers, dating experts, and don juans in the world, and I've made it all available to the common man.

But it's not for everyone.

Some guys just aren't ready to learn these secrets. They just simply aren't ready for them yet.

If you're afraid of hard work, are lazy, or don't want to change how your life is currently like, then take the information you recieved from this blog and happily store it away on in your mind.

But if you're committed to changing what doesn't work, if you really, truly want to have that feeling of a supremely confident ladies man and carry that with you wherever you go, then you
definitely need to check out this website:

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/artofapproaching

Here you will discover everything you need to change your life for the better!

Thanks for stopping by, and good luck my friend,

Thundercat

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posted by Donovan at 11:41 AM Dating Advice for Men

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A few simple and easy ways to master masculine body language

10.17.2005

posted by Donovan at 5:02 PM

PerFECT your body language and improve your attractiveness

When it comes to women I've heard they over 10 times better at reading body language than men. That's really know suprise, but do you understand what that means?

Have you ever had an amazing first date, and the woman never returned your calls after that?

The problem could be close to you...

It's 90% body language!

Researcher's have indicated that over 90% of communication is body language. That mean's it's not what you say, its how you say it. I'll say that again:

It is not what you say, it is how you say it!!

Woman are very intuitive. They will pick up on things you would have taken over a year to pick up on, and they do that with one date, or even within MINUTES. So you're probably expressing in words that you're everything she'll ever want, but your body language is saying the complete opposite!!

Here are some balant body language signs that are not helpful when portraying high value to a woman:

Body Language Mistakes:
  • Leaning in to talk
  • Blinking fast
  • Arms resting in between legs when sitting down
  • Slouching posture when walking
  • Fast movements
  • Talking to fast
  • Not level posture, (leaning on one leg)
  • And so many others...
Body Language Solutions:
  • Lean back when talking, sitting down, etc
  • Blink slower
  • Rest arms on the side of the chair, or put one arm behind
  • Straight posture, but relaxed and confident (Like John Travolta from Pulp Fiction)
  • Slow down ALL movements
  • Talk slower, and use breaks mid sentence for an added effect
  • Lean evenly on both legs, straight up
It's easy to see why so many guys have problems with women. They try so hard to be successful and are total gentlemen, but their body language gives them in. Women see right through them, because of their incorrect or wussy body language. It sends the signal straight to a woman that they are NOT confident, and NOT sure of themselves.

If 90% of communication is body language, then you need to make it work for you. Leverage it! It will pay off...

From personal experience, I went for a walk with a beautiful 19-year-old brunette from Arizona. I wasn't that interested in her, our personalities didn't match well, so I spoke MUCH less that evening when we were walking at night. I didn't use much cocky and funny, and we were sooo laid back, but I spoke slower, my body language was correct, and I seemed very indifferent to talking to her. My body showed this.

A few weeks later, a friend told me that she had the biggest crush on me ever since we went on that walk. She said that I was the best conversation that she had had over the course of the entire summer. I didn't even TRY! Weird huh?

Fluke?

I don't think so.

Body language is one of the most important things you can master. So get with it! Correct those obvious signals you can, and research the rest. Approaching women for the first time is hard, so you need all the help you can get. An e-book that works wonders and sheds light on the topic of body language and approaching women for the first time is...

Art of Approaching by Thundercat
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/artofapproaching

You're probably wondering if a girl likes you? She's probably sending you signals right now. Read my post that has a sample chapter from "Art of Approaching" about reading those femine signals.

Once you master those skills, you wont have any problems getting women's phone numbers, getting them to return you calls. It does take mastery, but you must take the first steps in order to get this part of your life handled. And don't put it off, you'll only regret it. And plus, you're not that type of person. By reading this post, you want to get it fixed... so do it now! Try doing some simple body language exercises now, move you shoulders, make them broad. Start moving slower, and speak alittle slower today. You'll start noticing a big difference.

Keep it up,

Donovan
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posted by Donovan at 5:02 PM Dating Advice for Men

2 Comments:

Anonymous Jake Hitch said...

nice post

3:32 PM, October 17, 2005  
Blogger THE BLACK SCORPION said...

Cool!

10:02 PM, March 10, 2007  

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Mystery Method (3): Attraction

posted by Donovan at 2:51 PM

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out his DVD Home Course.

ATTRACT 1:
Opening
ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")
ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")
COMFORT 1:
Connection
COMFORT 3:
Intimacy
SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

A2: Attraction is often called "Female to Male Interest". This the stage in which we make women interested in us. We create attraction. Read those last sentences again. We MAKE women interested in us. We CREATE attraction. This is a fundamental difference between the Mystery Method and other techniques. We were not, and are not, satisfied with JUST improving our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is interested in us -- although this is important and we will discuss it below.

Mystery Method

More importantly, one of our breakthroughs is in how we learned how to take a woman who starts off emotionally neutral towards us, and, relying on what we've learned of female behavior, flip the right emotional switches so that she becomes interested/attracted.

So how do you start A2? Simple. You jump straight into A2 as soon as you spot an opportunity from A1 (the opener). You don't even need to finish your opener in A1. For example, you might have approached a group and asked for an opinion on something (e.g., my friend over there, she wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?). There's no value to you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So as soon as you can, you'll want to say something like "hey, that reminds me . . ." and jump into a piece of A2 material. A2 material can be story, a specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other technique to build attraction. We discuss these more below.

Guys who are new to the Mystery Method often question how we can jump between unrelated pieces of material. If you approach a group of people asking about your friend's hair, and then start telling them about something that happened to you earlier that day, you may feel it strange or awkward. Trust us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people -- especially women -- don't care if there is little obvious relationship between different conversational threads, as long as they are entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will be grouped into certain subjects, but these subjects are rarely related. So after a couple of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she will tell a couple about some movie star. They're not connected, but we don't notice or care. We're entertained and interested. If you feel shy doing this at first, you can slip in a meaningless connector like "that reminds me . . ." or "that's just like when . . .". However, in time, you'll realize that these are unnecessary.

To recap: the moment you change the subject from your opener to something new, you are in A2. Now your job is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are interested.

Two key building blocks for this are Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) and Negs. A DHV is simply a demonstration that you are "better than the other guys". You have a higher value than they do. Most men instinctively understand this. That's why they try to work out, dress nicely, have money, achieve social status, etc. Some men also try to put other men down, so that they look better by comparison.

While this stuff helps (the improving yourself part -- putting down other guys has its place but it's for a very specific situation and we'll cover that later), it's ultimately a limited strategy. First, there will always be someone better looking, better dressed, richer, and more successful than you. Second, the most desirable women out there already have tons of guys in their lives who are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed, rich, and successful to get their interest. It will take more than that to win them over.

So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have a higher value. How do we do this?

Storytelling is a crucial tool in your arsenal. You MUST learn how to entertain and keep a group's interest in a story that you tell. Good storytelling is necessary for effective sub-communication (which we describe below), and is prized as a valuable social skill in itself. Plan and practice your stories.

Learn how to have a good hook line (e.g., "hey, did you see that fight outside?")

Learn how to leave open threads for your audience to ask about (e.g., "I was in Japan last week and all over Tokyo there are these machines that look like they sell soft drinks, but it's actually like 50 flavors of milk. And you don't put coins in, you use your cell phone to dial a drink") . . . the open thread here of course is "what were you doing in Japan?"

Learn how to seek input for your stories in a safe way that doesn't risk derailing where you're going with the story. For example, if you are telling a story about your nephew, you might start with "My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the funniest thing this morning. You like kids right? [Wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well, anyway, so here's what happened . . ."

LIVE the story. This is most important principle of storytelling. If you are telling a story about a friend's party, you have to see, hear, feel, smell, taste everything that you're talking about. Express emotion. Be interested in what you're talking about, or there is no chance that anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a journey with you through the story.

Sub-communication is the crucial art of communicating something about yourself without appearing to be trying to communicate it. This doesn't have to be verbal. Not showing signs of interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have and have had beautiful women in your life and that her beauty does not phase you. Or it can be verbal, often combined with storytelling. Here's an example of part of a longer story -- which I exaggerated for effect:
"My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the airport tonight, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Maserati all of a sudden. It was too funny -- I tried to pretend that I didn't notice, and then like 100 yards outside the airport, we get pulled over. She didn't tell me until afterwards that they'd just given her the car for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came on, I was totally wondering what was up. Finally, I whispered to her: "Karen, if in the last three days you'd become a drug baron and were on the FBI hit list, you'd tell me right?" Anyway, even when it turns out we just had a broken headlight, . . . Etc., etc., [continue on in any direction from here for a punch line]"
In just a few sentences as part of story, we learn all sorts of things about the narrator. Most of these things, if he said them directly, would come off as bragging and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they RAISE his value. Here's a quick list of some things that got communicated:
  • He has an ex-girlfriend. He's not a total loser.
  • He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would pick him up at the airport.
  • He has a lifestyle where he travels (he's coming from the airport).
  • His ex-girlfriend has an Audi. This doesn't necessarily give her a ton of value, but it gives her a little bit. Which gives you a bit of value by implication.
  • His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be attractive.
  • His ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they'd give her a Maserati for the day as part of it. She must be very attractive.
The key to sub-communication is to make it subtle. A useful pattern is to be talking about something OTHER than what you are trying to sub-communicate. For example, in the story above, the purpose of the sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to desirable women. However, the story itself is about getting pulled over by the police.

Use common sense and err on the side of too much subtlety, not too little. Don't be the guy who says "So I was at my accountant's office today, trying to figure out how much taxes I owe on the $50 million I earned last year, when he spilled orange juice on the rug. Did you know orange juice stains don't come out?". Stay far, far away from this. People will recognize that a story about orange juice stains did not require the details you included about how much money you make.

Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The following things, if sub-communicated effectively, tend to be attractive to most women:
  • Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
  • Wealth
  • Power
  • Social status (especially being the leader of men)
  • Some unpredictability
  • In control, not controlling
  • Intrigue/curiosity/unanswered questions about you
  • Being the protector of your loved ones
Interactive DHVs

An interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher value through something you are doing then and there. For example, making people laugh, telling them something interesting, teaching them something, being a good dancer, or doing anything that shows that you are a cool guy, is in itself a DHV.

Negs

The Neg is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor for her. For example, if you say to a woman "Nice nails; are they real?" she will be forced to admit to you that they're not (obviously, don't use this one on a woman with real nails). Done correctly, this will momentarily embarrass her but in a way that doesn't make you appear to be socially awkward. You really WERE trying to compliment her. It's HER fault that she has imperfections, and that you just happened to address one of them. Obviously, one neg by itself will not lead to a relationship, but a well-calibrated neg in the context of a solid application of the Mystery Method can get you there.

As I mentioned above, the neg also disqualifies you as a potential suitor. Guys that hit on her simply don't do this kind of thing. She'll know it and her friends will know it. The fact that you are clearly NOT hitting on her sub-communicates several things:
  • It makes you a challenge. When every other guy fawns over her, but you aren't won over yet, it's more fun for her to try to get your attention and "convert" you than it is to play a game that's already won.

  • It gives you higher value. If you're not hitting on her, you must have other women in your life. Perhaps these women are more attractive and desirable than her. This reflects very well on you.

  • It disarms her friends. If people in her group think you are obviously hitting on her, they may try to pull her away or make you look bad in front of her. If you are just a cool, fun guy who doesn't show any obvious interest in her, they'll be inclined to accept you, or even help HER seduce YOU.
Negs are powerful little weapons and need to be used appropriately. For example, a neg is generally unnecessary unless a woman perceives herself as being in the top third among women in terms of attractiveness. For an "average" woman, you probably don't need to lower her social value too much or raise yours too much -- if you follow all of the other techniques of the Mystery Method, you will come across with high value anyway. Nor do you necessarily need to disqualify yourself -- she doesn't get hit on that much, and she will most likely enjoy the attention and her friends will encourage her. Similarly, with attractive women, one or maybe two negs should suffice. Overdoing it can come off as hostile or arrogant, which are unattractive. Only on the rarest and most desirable women would you need to neg three or more times.

Negs must also be delivered appropriately. Drawing too much attention to them will make them awkward. Forcing her to react to them may make her feel defensive or shy. A neg is best delivered as a sidebar conversation to whatever conversation you are currently having, preferably with someone else. For example, if you approach two women, Amy and Brandi, and you are interested in Amy, you may be telling them both a story, and, while focusing slightly more of your attention on Brandi, suddenly tell Amy that she has something between her teeth. Without pausing to let a conversation about this develop (and derail your original conversation) you smoothly continue with what you were talking about before, leaving Amy feeling a little bit more insecure around you and wanting your approval, but without putting Amy on the spot and forcing her to say something negative (or anything at all, for that matter) back to you -- which would be unhelpful. Brandi, meanwhile, who is tired of standing around while men try to seduce her more attractive friend, will approve of you more for not being like everyone else.

Just like A1: Opening, with A2: Attract, it is just as important to know when to leave it. Again, the answer is "as soon as you can". A sneak preview of A3 is that you get the woman to hit on you. A3 is the mirror opposite of A2. In A2 we DHV. In A3 we get the girl to DHV. And eventually we let her win us over. Every once in a while, test to see if she's ready to do this. Ask her "so, what's your story?" or something similar and see if she starts trying to tell you good things about herself. If she does, you're in A3.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook

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posted by Donovan at 2:51 PM Dating Advice for Men

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

can someone please give more examples of effective dhv stories!

6:53 AM, December 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can someone please give more examples of effective dhv stories!

6:53 AM, December 02, 2005  
Blogger Donovan said...

You want to simply embed DHV's into stories. eg. Preselection, tribal leader, etc. Get the MM e-book for a fuller explanation.

1:41 PM, March 07, 2006  

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How to get a woman to "shower" you with attention

posted by Donovan at 12:03 PM

The other day, I told you:

Get women to shower you with attention"If you'd like a woman to shower you with attention, you must always be needed and wanted... Simply do (THIS???) and the seduction can last forever." 99.9% of men shoot themselves in the foot because they don't stick to this simple key element! How many times have you failed with women because of (THIS???).

So, what is THIS??? ... How does a guy get a woman to 'shower' him with attention?

It's called DETACHMENT.


HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

Once you've made a good impression on a woman -- for example you've said 'hi' to her, she's said 'hi' back, and you've had a chance to flirt and establish a slight level of attraction -- you increase the heat by suddenly backing off. As explained in our book, your goal is to leave her 'wanting more'.

Women do this all the time to men. This is almost a tradition, and so it can really infect a woman with attraction when a guy does it. Because it's the last thing that she expects.


FACT: Men are generally the aggressors. Men pursue women.

FACT: Most often a woman wants a man that she pursues.

CONCLUSION: Do not chase women. You want women to chase you. And you do this by combining flirtatious behavior with 'detachment'.


USING THIS STRATEGY IN REAL LIFE...

To 'detach' from a woman, you first need to ignite a spark of attraction with flirtatious behavior ... Smiles, seductive language, exciting movements (* read the complete guide to flirting in The 'Science' of Picking Up Women).

After you've set the stage with flirtatious behavior, it's time to 'detach' and back off... Suddenly, the woman is left wondering why you backed off. She is left thinking about you.

Your goal is to leave her to think about you for a few days... the next time you see her, once again be warm and flirtatious.

Then start the cycle of detachment all over again.


WARNING: There is a danger of being labeled an 'office tease' if you don't step up the heat in future encounters that you use flirtatious behavior. So step up the heat, use detachment to leave her thinking about you more and more, and when the time is right, when you feel that she is literally hoping more than anything to be with you...


ASK YOURSELF: Do you want this woman to become 'obsessed' with you? You have set the stage for serious 'obsession', and as you are about to find out with this woman, sex with an obsessed woman is one of the seven wonders of the world.

Read that again. Sex with an obsessed woman is one of the seven wonders of the world.

Sure, she might think that you're a jerk... that you're a 'player'... that you'll probably 'play' her... BUT SHE WILL STILL WANT YOU. She'll start showing up where she knows she'll find you... at your work, at school, at the nightclub. She'll start talking to all of her friends about you. She'll start calling you day and night.

She might start annoying you. But, those are the drawbacks you'll have to live with when you have used detachment on a woman so many times that she's willing to put out sex where ever and when ever you want it.

-----
DatingInsiderBook.com
The 'Science' of Picking Up Women
452 pages. Published by Rockstar Books, Ltd.
The Ultimate Guide for the Ultimate Male

Order Online Today!
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posted by Donovan at 12:03 PM Dating Advice for Men

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Neil Strauss "The Game" Sample Chapter

10.16.2005

posted by Donovan at 10:23 PM

I was looking online and found a free e-book chapter from "The Game". Cool huh?! If you havent read it yet, you need to. (Check out my site's review here.) It's an amazing book, look at the sample chapter to get your whiskers wet!

Download here. (RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE DOWNLOAD AS TO CONTINUE READING POSTS...)

However, don't be FOOLED!

"The Game" will not make you that much better with women. You need something like Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, or Art of Approaching by Thundercat. Those are what will get you numbers and confidence!

You can visit them here:

Double Your Dating and Art of Approaching

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posted by Donovan at 10:23 PM Dating Advice for Men

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"Art of Approaching" Free Sample Chapter

posted by Donovan at 11:02 AM

From Section 1, The Art Of Body Language, Chapter 2, page 13:

Always Watch The Eyes

The eyes are the window to the soul. They will always betray what a person is thinking, if you’re deft enough to pay attention to them.

I’m going to share some secrets about eye contact with you that is going to help you meet omen like crazy. I hope you’re ready for them, because I’m really spilling the beans here.

Are you ready for it?

Here they come…

Secret #1: The Vertical Scan

This is a major body language cue, and one that is hard to pick up if you’re not paying attention. Think about a woman you’ve seen that you found attractive. What did you do? Catch one look at her face, then looked down over her body, going from head to foot, right?

In short, you were checking her out.

Women do the same thing. When they see a man they’re attracted to, their eyes will go from his face to his feet, because they want to see the whole package.

When you make eye contact with a woman, look at what her eyes do. If they flick downwards, guess what? She just checked you out!

She liked what she saw in your face, and wanted to see the rest of you. It doesn’t matter if she looks away immediately afterwards, because she was attracted enough to you to check you out. That, my friends, is a major signal that she will be open to you approaching her (especially if the vertical scan is followed by a smile!).

The only problem with this great signal is that it’s so easy to miss! Women you haven’t noticed yet may have already done it. Also, it’s such a quick action, you can easily miss it if you’re not careful.

So when looking for the eye scan, always pay careful attention!

Secret #2: The Horizontal Scan

This is one of my favorite body language cues, because when this happens, you know you’re in the home stretch!

This usually occurs after you’ve been talking to the girl for a while, you’ve successfully attracted her, and it’s time to kiss. When you look deep into her eyes, you’ll see them flicking back and forth as she looks from one eye of yours to the other, trying to get a read on you.

When you see this happen, go for the kiss right there! She’s ready for it!

Secret #3: Dilated Pupils

I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll reiterate it here. A woman’s dilated pupils is an unconscious attraction response. The wider the pupils, the more attracted and excited the woman is getting.

You’ll know what you’re doing is working when you look into a woman’s eyes and notice the black iris part is rather large. This is commonly referred to as the “Doggy Dinner Look,” that you’ll see in cartoons when a dog is silently begging for it’s master to feed it.

The problem with dilated pupils is that other factors can affect its interpretation. For instance, if it’s dark in the room the two of you are in, her pupils will naturally dilate to let in more light.

By the same token, if the woman is drunk or using drugs, her pupils will be dilated as well, because other stimulants are working to excite her body. So be aware of the different factors at play when reading your target’s pupil dilation.

Secret #4: The Eye Contact Test

I think you're really going to like this secret, because I'm going to share a little trick with you that I've developed that really makes it easy to meet a woman.

Too often, guys are simply too nervous to approach a girl because of the extreme amount of uncertainty involved. Think about it. What runs through your head when you want to meet a woman?

• "Am I her type?"
• "Does she have a boyfriend?"
• "Will she find me attractive?"
• "Maybe she's too busy to meet anyone."
• "Will she be receptive to me talking to her?"

I'm sure you can think of a 100 more things that run through your mind when you see an approach opportunity come your way.

If you get scared or nervous when this happens, it's because of one thing:

UNCERTAINTY.

You don't know how the girl you want to approach is going to respond! So your scared because the outcome MIGHT be negative!

Well, worry about this no more, because with this little trick I'm going to share with you, you'll never have to worry about a negative reaction again.

This little trick is so simple, ANYONE can do it! And it's a 100% fear free tactic.

We all know that eye contact is important, but something funny happens when we make eye contact with another person. We become COMPELLED to respond to them in some fashion. When it comes to women, you can use eye contact to find out if she's open to meeting you. In fact, in a way, she'll be opening YOU!

So here's what you do...

The next time you see a woman you want to meet, LOCK your eyes on her! Seriously, just stare at her eyes, even if she's not looking at you.

When people are out and about, they will usually look around to keep aware of their surroundings. This is an unconscious thing we all do. Eventually, the woman you're locking onto will look around to scan the area.

When she comes to you, her eyes will invariably meet yours, and you'll be locked in eye contact.

When that happens, simply SMILE at her.

If she smiles back, guess what? She's OPEN TO YOU MEETING HER. If she doesn't, then move on to someone who is.

And when she does smile back, say "Hi!" And if she responds, you're in! Go right into your opener.

I like to use this tactic in low-key situations, like grocery stores, coffee shops, book stores, etc. Even though it can work just as well in bars (as long as the light is high enough that she can actually SEE you!).

Often times, after you smile, the girl herself will say "Hi!" and then the rest is easy.

The next time you go out, do this to every woman you see. Lock your eyes onto them and see what happens. I guarantee you, you'll be surprised by the results.
You can check out all the chapters of Art of Approaching by Thundercat right here.
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posted by Donovan at 11:02 AM Dating Advice for Men

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What you can learn from the movie "Top Gun"

posted by Donovan at 10:07 AM

Everyone loves the movie -- Top Gun.

It's a brilliant film and a classic. I love to watch it everytime. But there's more to the movie than just great dogfights and testosterone levels maxing out.

One of the characters is Lt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell. (Tom Cruise)

This guy is a prime example of an alpha-male. He really knows how to get the lady in this movie, and act around other men.

Maverick from Top Gun, why you should be like him

Maverick is a hot pilot. When he encounters a pair of MiGs over the Persian Gulf, his wingman is clearly outflown and freaks. On almost no fuel, Maverick is able to talk him back down to the Carrier. When his wingman turns in his wings, Maverick is moved up in the standings and sent to the Top Gun Naval Flying School at Miramar, Calif. There he fights the attitudes of the other pilots and an old story of his father's death in combat that killed others due to his father's error. Maverick struggles to be the best pilot, stepping on the toes of his other students and in a different way to Charlie, a civilian instructor to whom he is strongly attracted. (I lived near Miramar after moving from Australia last year, and I had know idea that was the base that Top Gun was set at... so cool)

There are three scenes which are particularly interesting to people wanting to be more successful with women. They are:

  • When Maverick is in the bar and he talks to her
  • When Maverick is the elevator
  • When Maverick goes to her house after playing volleyball
What do these have to do with anything?

Good question wingman! When Maverick is in the bar, he acts very direct, and at the same time indifferent to her. He's direct when he follows her into the bathroom, and talks to her. His body language is 100% perfect for attracting. He seems like he could leave anytime and doesn't rely on her. Too many men look like they rely on women, they lean into them. Try leaning back.

When Maverick is the elevator, it seems like he doesn't have the balls to start a conversation with the female character. This is actually sexual tension. The materials of David Deangelo are at work here. He amplifies her attraction to him, by not giving her what she wanted right there. Which is of course -- passion. Instead he gives her a slight smile, (Like Marlon Brando, or James Dean) and she melts. He still doesn't give it to her, he lets her wait. I like to call this active indirect attraction. Where you are seducing her indirectly by being hard to get. It works like a dream, try it out!

Maverick goes to her house after playing volleyball. He's already way late for their planned date (rhymes). He just walks inside, acts indifferent, and goes and takes a shower without asking. This kind of behavior is very alpha-male. Why? Because he acts indifferent to her opinions, or what she would consider appropriate and relies instead of what HE thinks, what HIS reality is.

That is what alpha-male behavior is. Living in your reality. This is the key. Women love to be lead, and alpha-males know how to lead.

Tom Cruise's behavior in Top Gun give perfect examples of the attributes you should practice so you can be MORE successful with women. These are general ideas, not so specific that you do EXACTLY what Maverick does in the film, that's stupid. Take his characteristics.

The fastest way I know to become an alpha-male is reading Double Your Dating. It has a chock load of brilliant techniques, and fundamental behaviors that you need for attracting the women you've always wanted. The author goes through everything you need for helping you become an alpha-male.

Good luck,

Donovan
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posted by Donovan at 10:07 AM Dating Advice for Men

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats awesome! I love that movie too... good example.

12:17 AM, October 17, 2005  
Anonymous High Roller 8 said...

tom cruise is great in that movie

3:15 PM, October 22, 2005  

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