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Mystery Method (4): Qualification

11.19.2005

posted by Donovan at 2:44 PM

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out his DVD Home Course.

ATTRACT 1:
Opening
ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")
ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")
COMFORT 1:
Connection
COMFORT 3:
Intimacy
SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

A3: Qualification is often called "Male to Female Interest". It is the inverse of A2: Attraction. By the time we've gotten to Qualification, we have already opened (A1) and made our target woman interested/attracted in us (A2). Now, and not before, we can express interest in her. As Mystery said, "the amateur will hit on a woman right away. We wait 8 minutes."

Expressing interest in a woman isn't as easy as it sounds. Some cardinal rules:
Stay away from expressing interest in her based on her looks. An attractive woman has heard it before. A less attractive woman won't believe you. Besides, "complimenting her looks" is the same boring tactic that every other guy uses. Find another reason that she has "won you over".

Use the qualification process as an opportunity to convey even more value and establish a genuine connection. Put yourself in a woman's shoes and ask yourself how you would choose between 2 guys. Guy A who tells you he likes you because you have a nice body or Guy B who tells you he likes you because you have great energy, you both love opera, and share the love of mountain biking? It works for guys too. Which woman would you choose? Woman A who says: "you're rich -- I love that" or Woman B:"you're fascinating -- I love that"?

Make her work for it. Seduction is a game and women want to play too. Don't take away her fun of seducing you. Also keep in mind that if she is able to win you over too quickly she will think that you don't have a lot of options, that you are not very choosy, or that she is of a higher quality than most women you meet. If she believes any of those things, you are no longer "the prize". You can get some women without being "the prize" but not the most desirable ones.

This all adds up to the fact that you have to make the woman attract you. Just as you spend A2 (Attract) attracting her, now you have to let her win you over.

That sounds easy, and the problem here probably isn't what you are expecting. The problem is that most women are terrible at attracting men using anything other than their looks. The more beautiful the woman (and therefore the more necessary it is to find something other than her looks to be interested in), the less she will be used to using anything else. This was one of our more frustrating discoveries over the past 13 years while developing this model.

The solution we've found is to "help" a woman attract you. We have a ton of tactics for this that we go over in our live programs, but one easy-to-use tactic to get you started is called "Bait-Hook-Reel-Release".

BAIT: Here we use universal, general questions or hoops to "bait" her into saying something that you interpret as being an attractive quality. It's like giving her a test where she'll win every time. For example, asking someone "what would you want to be if you could do anything you wanted?" is a good "bait" question, since everyone will have an answer to this and you can arbitrarily interpret her answer as being very positive.

HOOK: Let's say that she'd want to be an actress. That's the hook. You will treat her answer here as a reason why you are attracted to her.

REEL: Now we reel her in with something like "No way! You want to be an actress? That's awesome! I really respect people who have the balls to get on stage and perform for others. You know, your first impression kind of sucked; but now that I've gotten to know you, I think you're incredible."

RELEASE: After we reel her in, complimenting her, she will feel uncomfortable if you do not "release". This is the final part of the qualification. You do this by slightly disqualifying her. Continuing with our example, you might say something like "You are trouble for me, now that I know that about you. You're amazing. I can't even talk to you." And then start to turn or move away. Done correctly, and naturally (it will come off as fake the first few times you try it, don't worry, keep practicing), she will chase after you like you've never seen. In our workshops guys who have never gotten hit on by women in their lives get this glow in their eyes when, all of sudden, attractive women are pursuing them.

You may need to go through this process a couple of times with different qualities to fully accomplish A3: Qualification. Make her qualify herself based on more than one good quality that she has. Try not to make it blatantly obvious; weave the bait-hook-reel-release module into natural, normal, conversation. And don't forget the "release" step -- that's where a lot of guys make mistakes.

Once you've gone through the process, you've done the whole ATTRACTION module. Next, you'll be ready to move into Comfort. This is a lot easier, and we'll cover it in the next issue.

AMAZING NEWS!

The Magic Bullets e-book has been released, going for $68. Apparently I've heard from insiders that it literally tells you EVERYTHING. Step-by-step stuff that amateurs can master. Awesome!

(You can download a sample chapter at the website)

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posted by Donovan at 2:44 PM Dating Advice for Men

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