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Mystery Method (1): The Outline


posted by Donovan at 12:18 PM

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out his DVD Home Course.

Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")
Last-minute Resistance

The basic building block for everything we do is the M3 model. The model is a guide to what you should be doing at any given time with a woman, and when you should move on to the next phase. First, we'll lay out the basic framework with a couple of tips, and then over the next few issues, we'll go into details.
The three basic components are: ATTRACT, COMFORT, and SEDUCE. Each of these has three phases, which we have numbered 1 through 3. Here is the full list:

ATTRACT 1 (or A1): Opening
ATTRACT 2 (or A2): Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")
ATTRACT 3 (or A3): Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")
COMFORT 1 (or C1): Connection
COMFORT 2 (or C2): Trust
COMFORT 3 (or C3): Intimacy
SEDUCTION 1 (or S1): Arousal
SEDUCTION 2 (or S2): Last-minute Resistance
SEDUCTION 3 (or S3): Sex

We observe time and time again that successful courtships go through these nine phases in this order:

A1 (Opening): Obviously you have to initiate a conversation (or bait her into initiating one) before you can go anywhere. This phase usually last under a minute, but is excruciatingly important. We have a LOT to say about this, but for now, try a couple of things:
3 Second Rule: When you see someone you are interested in, go right in within 3 seconds. Otherwise you "stale out" in her eyes and make yourself nervous.

Convey minimal interest: Don't walk straight up to her. Come in at an angle between 45 and 90 degrees (don't approach from behind either). Initiate the conversation with dismissive body language (e.g., your head over your shoulder)

Smile on the approach
Have some "canned" openers ready. Make them short and accessible to a group of strangers and different from what they've heard before. "Did you see the fight outside?" is much better than some long story or "I like your hairstyle".

A1 ends once you've engaged a conversation. Once you've got that, MOVE ON to A2

A2 (Attract): Gaining attraction is easier than you think. Some ways to do this include negs, conveying alpha male characteristics (discuss later), and Demonstrating a Higher Value (DHV) than the thousands of other guys who have talked to her. Do NOT compliment her (that's for A3). We'll go into a lot of detail about this. A2 should take anywhere from 2-10 minutes, though with some women it can be up to 20. Once she is interested in you (touching you, asking you questions about yourself, etc.), then move onto A3.

A3 (Qualify): This phase is crucial. You need to give a woman a legitimate reason for why you are interested in her beyond her looks. Otherwise, what will happen is she will be interested in you (because of what you did in A2), and once you express interest in her, she'll often back off. She's interested in you because your A2 behavior suggested that you are the coolest guy ever. Girls know that they need to do some work to get guys like that (and they love doing the work . . . don't spoil the pick-up for her by making it too easy!). If you are "easy", she will know she has misjudged you and move on. Actually getting a woman to give you enough to have non-look based reasons to be interested in her can be hard. There will be a whole OAP component just on this. Anyway, for now, recognize that it needs to be done. Ask her what she has going for her. Give her compliments (not on her looks) if, but only if, she deserves them.

C1, C2, C3 (Comfort): Building comfort is the bulk of the pickup. You should be done with Attraction in half an hour. For most women (not party girls), the Comfort-phases will take 3 to 10 hours and may require separate meetings (sometimes thought of as "dates" -- although we don't date . . . we'll get into this later). These three phases are distinguished only by where they occur. C1 takes place in the same location where you attracted her (lounge, restaurant, party, bar, mall, etc.). C2 takes place in a comfort-building location (if you leave a lounge with her to go grab some food, for example, or arrange to meet up the next day on the beach). C3 takes place in your seduction location (e.g., your living room). In all of these phases, you are building comfort. Tone down the dismissive attitude. Don't try to go sexual yet. Make it fun. Make time pass.

S1, S2, S3 (Seduction): This is what you've been working towards. Make sure you don't start S1 (arousal) until you are ready to take it to S3 (sex). There is no point arousing a woman in a club if she's in a situation where you can't take her home. If you arouse a woman outside of the seduction location, you can make it hard for her to actually go to the seduction location with you. Most women don't want to think of themselves as sluts, so have evolved anti-slut defense (ASD). If you start touching a girl and turning her on sexually at a restaurant and then try to bring her home, she'll know that it's for sex and may feel like a slut for going with you and therefore decide not to. Believe me, when a woman goes home with you, she KNOWS that sex is a possibility, but do both of you a favor and let her feel seduced and swept away, not slutty. Don't start seducing her until you're somewhere where you can finish the job.

For complete explanation and expansion of the Mystery Method. Download the Magic Bullets ebook, written by the CEO of Mystery Method.


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posted by Donovan at 12:18 PM Dating Advice for Men


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post

One thing that isn't clearly mentioned in the A2 phase is the need to neg. I think it's an important part of generating attraction!

5:23 AM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have bought the book and it is about as useful to me as a wet towel. Most of the method seems to say to attract the women with the procreation for the survival of the next generation, hence women tend to choose those with money or an edge over other men.

You do not have to tell me this, I already know that. I have had nightmares with women, the things they have done will chill you to the bone.

For one thing if you are a guy and have money, the multi-millionaire type which you have made for yourself and you are a decent guy, these will happen to you. The women you make love to will try to stuff the sperm from your condom into her vagina when you have left or are in the bathroom, that happened to me. Made me think to becoming gay, thankfully I was not attracted to men. Calling seven girls for a date and all of them turned up and refused to budge, my friend was a witness to this and he was amazed and asked me how I did it. I just said one thing money and confidence. Even with all this nasty thing happening to me I was finally caught by a girl which I think is incredibly smart. I broke off with her for a while after she put wedding magazines for me to see while I waited for her to get ready and in that seven days that I broke off with her I had seven new girlfriends.

Having women chasing after you is no fun. Most of the women ambush you by the second date by taking you to see their parents, yes some of them did that to me, or should I say most of them did that to me. Then there is the problem of not getting rejected ever a girl. I broke off more relationships than I care to say, I started chasing women which had boyfriends, it was easy to break off their relationships a Louis Vuitton bag that cost a couple of thousand dollars will always do the trick, if not jewellery, heck I can afford it.

The scary part would be to break off your reltionship with the girl, I am a coward, I won't call the girl ever and yet they call and call and beg and beg. Hence all I can say is good luck to you if you ever become rich, you will never be rejected by a girl but you will be hunted down by a girl sooner or later.

11:27 PM, May 07, 2007  
Blogger John "Kooz" Kuczmarski said...

women (and all people) are attracted to people with wealth, fame, charisma, talent, notoriety, sophistication, grace, charm, confidence. You DO have an edge (an intrinsic gift) in AT LEAST one of those areas. Build on that strength and exploit (utilize) the hell out of it. If you've got a conversational grace, that's a rare skill, and it will build you confidence, which generates Notoriety in a meeting place, and things escalate. Work on your strength and it will fill in the bucks. If you think some social moron with a Social Value IQ of 2 will thrive just because he's a millionaire, think again, he'll be stuck with the same money-leaching bimbos. Solid game revolves around building on your intrinsic strength and having fun WITH people NOT buying them.

9:41 AM, October 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where can i find examples of NEGS,DHV,OPPENERS everything cause just explaining what it is doesn't help me at all because i'm just starting now and i can't make up my own yet

5:52 AM, June 03, 2008  
Anonymous Kris said...

Look, it does take a lot to walk up to a beautiful woman, especially one that can captivate the attention of an entire room and basically has her pick for the night.

5:28 AM, March 12, 2010  

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