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30 Days to a Better Life


posted by Sean Messenger at 4:16 PM

No one starts pickup totally comfortable talking to strangers. But it's something you have to get used to.

At PickUp 101, we have a number of exercises and regimens we have our clients use to prepare for workshops and follow-up to make sure the changes stick. Here's one anyone can start using right away.

It's a low-risk way to get yourself comfortable and get past the idea that strangers are to be feared FOREVER.

Do this, and you will never have a problem with approach anxiety again.

This workout routine can work for ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing. You won't turn into a magic pickup guru overnight like others may promise. But you will get happier and more social and more comfortable with girls than you could have ever imagined in ONE MONTH. That's all. Not years. ONE MONTH.


You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no "sarging." No bars. Nothing.

What you will do is make changes daily. Here's how.

For the next month, I want you to take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that's easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.

When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath "i'm going to look silly but i'm going to have fun." Just do it.

Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say "Hello." That's it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.

You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hello." Wait until she says "Hello" back, then when she does, introduce yourself.

She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you're quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.

Do NOT run any routines or try anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that's great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that's fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.

To review, here is your homework for the next month.

1) 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, nod your head a little and repeat to yourself "i may look silly but i'm going to have fun talking to people."
4) When walking past people, smile and say "Hello" to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
5) The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and "Hello." Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.

Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.
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posted by Sean Messenger at 4:16 PM Dating Advice for Men


Anonymous Anonymous said...'s simple...but IT IS GOOD and I WILL TRY IT OUT!...thanks for this basic, but POWERFUL tip (greetings from denmark)

2:55 AM, September 23, 2006  
Blogger Sean said...

You're welcome, man. I love sharing back the things that really made a difference for me.

Fundamentals always are worth practicing.

10:11 PM, September 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing."

That's me :(

Thank you, I will definitely try it out ..

4:02 PM, August 05, 2007  

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Meeting Women Online: "Tips and Tricks"


posted by Donovan at 5:00 PM


Dear David,

WOW. It works. I started by reading part of your book, and used some of it, and it worked great. I couldn't believe that it was your advice that helped me, I thought it was a shift in the universe or something. It was amazing. So, I went back to being a wussbag. The girl who accepted me one day rejected me the next. Bewildered, I continued to read your book, applied it once again, and I now get plenty of wonderful feedback from women of all sorts (not to mention the wonderful dates).

But, my question is this. How cocky is too cocky? I have stated the meekest positive aspect of myself and other times flouted my greatness. I do not know what the limit is, and I know it must exist. Mustn't it?

MSY, from Maryland


You're asking a good question here.

Remember, the formula isn't "Cocky".

The formula is "Cocky PLUS Funny".

You can say just about ANYTHING as long as what you are saying is actually FUNNY.

Remember, this technique is very powerful. It's a way of communicating with women that actually TRIGGERS and then AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION.

I've learned that "arrogance" or "cockiness" is NOT unattractive to women... as long as they're not an obvious over compensation for INSECURITY.

When you ask me what the "limit" is, what I hear you saying is, "I'm afraid to push this too far".

Don't let your own insecurities and doubts stop you from using a great technique.

Use it. But make sure you add the all powerful ingredient: HUMOR. The humor is what makes this technique magic.



I've been enjoying your advanced series very much, and have found a lot of success over the last few months. All this success is exciting, but I'm finding that I have to rethink my usual responses to just about everything. A case in point:

Last night over the phone, the woman I've been spending the most time with lately spent a lot of effort telling me how much she loves me. In fact, I think she's really falling for me hard. The question is, though, how do I respond to a woman that gets all mushy without spending all of my attraction points? If she says something like
"I've fallen in love with you" or "I love you soooooo much", what are some examples of things to say back that will keep the attraction building?

Your devoted fan,

A in Oregon


Yeah, that's one of the fringe benefits of learning these concepts... women actually start to LOVE you.

You left an important part out of your question...

You didn't mention how you feel about this girl yourself, and what YOU want out of the relationship.

I'll have different answers for you based on what your intentions are.

But to give you the most direct answer to your question of how to respond to this... take a page out of the "Han Solo Manual For Responding To Women Who Say That They Love You".

Remember at the end of Empire Strikes Back when Han was about to be frozen in Carbonite, and Princess Leia said, "I Love You"?

Remember what Han said back?

He said, "I know".

Cocky, Funny, and Evasive.

Some variations:

"You should."

"I don't blame you."

"Well, I would if I were you."

...these are all fun.

One warning: If this woman is ACTUALLY falling in love with you because you've been seeing her five times a week for the last six months, then you need to remember that this is a serious thing.

If you've gone out with her 4 times over the last 3 weeks, that's different. But, if she thinks you're getting married soon, then you might want to consider what you really want out of this, and act accordingly.


I must commend you on that masterpiece you wrote,your Double Your Dating. You captured my attention and maintained it through out the entire reading! I actually downloaded it this morning 'round 8:00 or so and you kept me reading it until almost
noon! I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium! I found much of the thoughts you expressed to be very insightful and exceptionally well communicated. This being said, I find myself in a conundrum that seems like it would lend itself to
your expertise. A bit of pre-amble.....

I'm 22 years old and I live in Ontario, Canada but only about 10 minutes from the Michigan border. About 3 months ago I joined some sorta gay-assed meeting service online here more out of curiosity than anything else but I came across this one wonderous lady from Michigan who lives about an hour and a half away. We've emailed each other probably 60-70 times and we've talked on the phone quite a number of times as well but we've never met in person yet. Well that day is to be approaching soon and I've come across a conflict of ideas now that I've read your book. For the most part, everything I do is the opposite of what you suggest with the odd exception like my humorous nature. The problem lies in the idea of changing my character to suit what you described (in a VERY logical manner) to be the ideal actions a fellow is to take. I have an interest in her, and she (as far as I can tell) has an interest in me... but the idea of being very non-challant and sort of distant/hard to get although it appeals to me GREATLY with someone new, I'm not sure would be advisable in this situation. If you could give me some feed back I would be greatly indebted to your wisdom even more.

Thanks for your time, J


In your email you said, "I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium!"

I'll tell you what man... if you keep talking this way the "medium" isn't the only thing that's going to be dry.

Someone get this guy a copy of the "How to talk like a normal guy that most people don't think is a JACKASS" manual.

Look man. You can't go through life trying to sound like you're more intelligent than everyone else... especially when you're 22... unless you want women to respond to you the way the woman in the bar responded to Russell Crowe's advances in "A Beautiful Mind". Watch the movie if you need the specifics.

It's OK to be smart. No problem.

But when you try to TALK like you're smart, you usually end up coming off as insecure and nerdy.

Case in point: Your email.

And no, saying "gay-assed" doesn't make you cool.

Trust me.

Now, as for your girl situation...

If you've met a girl on the internet and emailed her back and forth 60 or 70 times, then you should probably do what has worked for you so far, and don't change what you're doing just because you read my book.

You're going to want to practice for a little while before you go completely changing your entire personality with a woman who thinks she's going to be marrying you soon. (Did I say that?)

You're dealing with a classic problem:

You don't know how to meet women effectively, so this one woman is VERY IMPORTANT.

If you start doing the things that I recommend with her, and it doesn't work out, you'll blame me... when it was probably your fault for acting like her girlfriend for the last 47 years by email.

Go meet more women. Practice what you've learned. And do what you've been doing with the girl you met online, because if you change into a different person right before her eyes she might think you're psycho... and get a restraining order against you. Hell, I'm trying to figure out why she doesn't have one ALREADY the way you talk...


I know, I know. I'm a funny guy.

And, another thing (or two)...

Get yourself a copy of this:

David D.

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posted by Donovan at 5:00 PM Dating Advice for Men


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Being A Man and Making Confident Moves


posted by Donovan at 2:01 PM

Well over the weekend I ended up hooking up with this brunette girl who is hawt. Real eye candy. I found myself taking note of my actions of that night and the week or so I've known her, and I've put them down to something that I've been working on lately: being forward and making confident moves.

You see, I learn't something good from David Deangelo that I often have to kick myself and remind myself over: Is that women are ok with what you do, as long as you are. Now don't get this confused with sexual assault, being social UNcalibrated or anything stupid like that, I mean, holding her hand, touching, leading the conversation in the direction you want, and going in for the kiss when you KNOW you're supposed to (but a little something in your gut might be saying don't do it).

We'll I ended up making out with this woman on a lookout in HER silver mustang. The backseats on those car's are small, just so you know.

What I mean is that you should be confident in your actions enough for her to feel it. If you screw up during the conversation and saying something stupid, it's almost good enough and would do more for the interaction to say something like, "Wow that was kinda random, but I like it."

Being "alpha" isn't about not compromising on dinner, location, going out times, it's being in control at all times, even though you give her control at times.

You'd be suprised how often women will flock to you when you are in your reality and loving what you do. Something I wouldn't have realized before the community.
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posted by Donovan at 2:01 PM Dating Advice for Men


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