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Pickup 101 Workshop Review - NYC

7.21.2006

posted by Donovan at 10:36 AM

I just got this email from Zman, a guy that I met at the recent Pickup 101 New York, Art of Attraction workshop. He asked me to post this review, it's a good explanation of what went down. I attended two days of it, I noticed that when the first day was done, the guys couldn't wait to go out and test the techniques.

Background

I took PickUp 101's Art of Attraction workshop in New York this past weekend from 7/7/06-7/9/06. In terms of basic personal information, I first learned about the "community" upon reading The Game in November '05. Prior to the workshop, I had done about 30-40 approaches with moderate results. Over the years, I have had intermittent success with women, but always felt like I was getting lucky, instead of getting skilled with women. In other words, I did okay with women, but didn't always know how or why the attraction happened and would become frustrated when it didn't. As a result, I decided to take a workshop as a means to take things up a few notches and truly get this area of my life handled. This is my first workshop experience, but I do have products from all other major U.S. pickup/seduction companies (MM, Juggler, RSD, SS, DYD, Thundercat, Swingcat, etc.). Based on my evaluation of the numerous products that I own as well as through reading workshop reviews from both PU 101 and their competitors, PU 101 seemed to be the most congruent with my style and personality-so I chose them. The core PU 101 instructors for this workshop were Lance, Sean and Daniel. In a nutshell, I had a fantastic experience with these guys, but since it's a review, not a public relations piece, I will also offer some constructive criticism at the end to help people genuinely evaluate the merits of PU 101.

Workshop Structure

When you sign up for the workshop, you receive pre-workshop handouts and homework which include foundational material including pickup/attraction theory, breakdown and examples of: opening, main attraction tools, overgaming, blowouts, lockup, and other pertinent information, so that you are familiar with and prepared for the workshop in advance. This was a huge plus as it really cut down on lecture and redundancy during the actual workshop. The workshop itself is VERY interactive and experiential both during the day and in-field. The day portion of the workshop generally consisted of a couple of hours of lecture sprinkled throughout the day and 5-6 hours of group and individual exercises until field work at night. Essentially, the daytime portion provided tons of practical exercises with lots of fine tuning and feedback from the instructors, videotape, students and female assistants.

The main areas of exercises were:

Daytime-Exercises
Approaching/Opening-You can use your own opener or have one provided for you by instructors based on what is comfortable for you/what you are trying to convey about yourself (i.e. a fun guy, sexy guy, suave guy, etc). Flirting-type openers seemed to be more encouraged and were more popular than neutral/opinion openers, but ultimately, they leave it up to you and will calibrate it for you. You do lots of mock approaches with both men and women and various scenarios are presented for you to practice.

Body Language- You learn how to use your entire body to project strong physical confidence through use of facial expressions, standing, walking, sitting, and hand gestures. These are essential non-verbal communication skills and if you nail them, it really doesn't matter what you say.

Banter- You learn how to playfully flirt (i.e. something smells great it here, oh, it's me…) and when/how to use banter appropriately. We would pick a few banter lines and role play/improv them to death. The understanding and delivery of example banter lines thoroughly increased my comfort level to consistently flirt early in interactions and really amp up attraction.

Kino- You learn how to touch early on in an interaction, how to escalate, how to calibrate touch for a given situation, and most importantly, test for attraction. If you don't know when and how to touch, it will definitely be awkward for both you and her. If you do know, you will generate attraction quickly. Girls can tell how good/experienced you are by how you touch them.

Storytelling- You can use either your own attraction story or one of many field-tested PU 101 attraction stories. The emphasis on stories is that they are to generally be used as a crutch/training wheels to keep you in the interaction or keep the energy up if you are having trouble bantering or vibing and need "material".

Routine Stack- This is the integration of all of the above areas. Our personal routine stacks were individually developed and practiced as a means to help us generate attraction and have a successful first three minutes of an interaction. The paradox here is that the more comfortable you become with your routine stack, the less you will actually need to rely on it. It's all about feeling comfortable.

Nighttime-Fieldwork
Fieldwork was scheduled for 3 hours per night at bars for the first two nights (daygame is a separate workshop) with a 2-1 or 3-1 student to instructor ratio. I'm not going to get into specifics about my experience with particular sets because it will make this long review, way too long. However, please don’t attribute the lack of elaboration to having negative results. Both nights we started off by doing warm-up sets in the street or on line at the bars using situational openers (i.e. time, directions, good place to go, etc).

On the first night, me and one other student were paired up with Sean. He was incredible as an instructor because he is so natural and non-routine oriented. He demonstrated very effectively and effortlessly (like a great golf swing), provided solid feedback when necessary and stayed out well past the required 3 hours. At around 4am, we all went to a diner to debrief. During the first night, opening lots of sets was encouraged as a means to get comfortable with the basics that we practiced during the day. We then would leave the set shortly thereafter and move onto the next one. I opened 20-25 sets and nearly all went very well for me (i.e. I did not get blown out). Due to both Sean and the daytime practice, everything about the evening was low pressure, comfortable, relaxed and consequently, very successful.

On the second night, me and two other students were paired up with a part-time guest-instructor. He was a good guy who was somewhat less involved than Sean, but was very positive, provided some feedback and winged with us a bit. Since I was doing well in approaching and interacting without him, he just generally let me do my thing and focused more on students who needed the instruction. During this night, I applied my routine stack which was fully developed by the end of the second day of the workshop. Consequently, I only opened about 8 sets (not including warm-ups) and stayed in interactions significantly longer. Again on this night, the instructor stayed out later than required and it became very obvious to me that PU 101 really cares about the students and their results-they do not just punch the clock.

Overall, yes, I met lots of women, got numbers, and kisses over the two nights, but that was secondary to practicing, honing, trusting and ultimately, believing that what I learned during the daytime exercises could/did work very effectively and consistently in-field (with or without an instructor by my side).

Additional Information/Notes
-Lance provided a fashion consultation for all students and made individualized suggestions about wardrobe, grooming, shopping and anything else related to conveying an attractive look.

-Day 2 closing steps, basic rapport and other applicable information to move your game forward (once you are consistently generating attraction) were also covered with lecture near the end of the three day workshop.

-The core instructors (Lance, Sean and Daniel) were superb at both teaching and demonstrating. They were genuine about making sure that each student really got the information and were able to apply it. While the instructors all shared the same overall philosophy, they had different, yet effective styles in communicating their material, but had no ego-EVER.

-The instructors struck a fine balance between keeping feedback positive and supportive, while still being honest and constructive as needed.

-The workshop definitely had structure and a method to the madness, but it was quite manageable and digestible, whereby it was not overwhelmingly linear. One thing would build upon the next, so that you would feel the momentum of increasing skill level and confidence day by day.

-Students in the workshop were at various skills levels, but all seemed to make excellent strides over the three days and approached numerous sets without major approach anxiety.

-Students were able to provide workshop evaluations anonymously on a computer to ensure honesty about individual experiences.

Minor Areas of Improvement
-There could have been a bit more structure related to mapping out the bars that we would be going to in-field as well as in assigning instructors to students. This was done somewhat last minute and caused very minor complications (i.e. waiting on line), but it all worked out in the end. This may run smoother when they run their workshops in more familiar San Francisco territory, where they are based.

-Due to the workshop being in NY, part-time guest instructors, with not always the same skill level/ philosophy as the core PU 101 instructors were employed at night in-field. Additionally, having students meet field instructors for the first time, five minutes before going out with them in-field is probably not the best system to make a student feel totally comfortable. The need to use guest instructors was somewhat understandable due to PU 101 being based out of SF. Again, if you take their workshop in SF, this would also probably not be an issue. On the plus side, they did not charge extra for the NY workshop, even though the core instructors likely had to pay hotel and travel accommodations as well as hire guest instructors and female assistants.

-At times, I would have appreciated a bit more feedback from the instructors when in-field about actual social dynamics at the bars. While the instructors were certainly involved and attentive, I am an analytical person and would have liked more breakdown and play-by play of the environment. There also could have been a bit more proactive, constructive criticism offered in-field upon my ejecting from a set, but it was provided whenever I asked. In the instructors’ defense, I was often in sets and pretty successful (thanks to the exercises) with limited downtime, so maybe they didn’t find it necessary to harp on my minor issues.

-While the workshop was only three days long and there is only so much you can fit in, I probably could have benefited from a slightly stronger focus on vibing-of course, I'm not sure which area of the workshop that I would have wanted to be cut out instead.

Summary
Overall, I would rate the PickUp 101 Art of Attraction Workshop a 95 out of 100. I had high expectations for this workshop based on the many glowing PU 101 workshop reviews that I had read, but it still did not disappoint. Additionally, I had been signed up and was waiting for nearly four months to take the workshop, so I can assure you that I would be the first to acknowledge if it didn't live up to the hype. While there were a few small areas that kept the workshop from achieving total perfection, it was pretty damn close.

If you are seeking a workshop that will develop your game very naturally and congruently, then look no further than PU 101. The "community" now seems to be evolving more toward natural and individualized game and these guys are on the forefront of delivering it. Conversely, if you think that the techniques in The Game are the best/only way to meet and attract women, then find another workshop. PU 101 does not use jargon, force you to use stock routines, lines or anything else that could be considered incongruent, unnatural, demeaning or manipulative. The bottom line after taking this workshop is that I can go to bed at night and know that what I learned was highly potent and powerful attraction material that will NEVER make me or a woman feel bad about using it. How is that for being confident and congruent?

Check out Pickup101's workshop schedule here.
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posted by Donovan at 10:36 AM Dating Advice for Men

1 Comments:

Blogger Gatsby said...

Awesome review. This blog is awesome. And so are the newsletters!

4:51 PM, July 27, 2006  

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Mistakes That "Turn Women Off" INSTANTLY

7.18.2006

posted by Donovan at 8:12 PM

I really liked this newsletter from our mate David D. He really nails it sometimes.

I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.

But, there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.

But, something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she would feel the same way.

So, he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he felt.

He confessed that he was in love and that he would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...."

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step - He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then, the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy and said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up...

but... he never got a call back.

Over the following months the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.

THE END

OK, I'm back.

Now, wasn't that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take up writing romance novels...

Now, let's talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for most men?

Because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another... and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that women know, but MEN DON'T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they actually make things WORSE.

The very things that a man does to try to make a woman LIKE HIM, make her NOT like him.

They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future...

THE "INSTANT EWWW"

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...

So often we think that just because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?

Yeah, I have too.

Well here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it IS going to backfire.

It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to call the "Instant Ewww".

The "Instant Ewww" is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww", she will start behaving differently.

In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... Of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So, what causes the "Instant Ewww"?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment a you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...

Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer".

Don't call her three times a day.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you learned on my website and in my book).

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what's the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you'd never ask...

I've spent several years now studying the ways that men who are "naturals" communicate using their words, voice tone, and body language that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I'll tell you... it's not magic.

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don't have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY
man can learn it if he wants to.

But you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error". Many of the keys to making women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.

I'm telling you, this eBook will help show you the way. I guarantee that this program will INSTANTLY change how you behave around women.

And, it will start getting you results IMMEDIATELY.

Go check out the details and some great free samples here.

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.
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posted by Donovan at 8:12 PM Dating Advice for Men

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, all to familiar :(

6:16 PM, July 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I currently find myself in a similar situation with a woman I have known for about a year although unlike the example above, I would not say that we are friends.

I know her from the gym; we always talk and flirt a little and sometimes we “car share”. I always liked her and was just letting her know but up until recently she was unavailable (no risk!).The last time I saw her she told me she had split up with her bf of 4 years.

The problem I have is that I actually WANT to go out with this woman and I don’t want to screw it up by coming on too quickly or just becoming a friend. I’m certainly not going to write her any love letters or buy presents, but if you’ve any advice on how to shift the focus of our current “friendly flirty guy at the gym” relationship then that would be much appreciated.

Cheers

Great BLOG by the way, keep up the good work.

1:09 AM, July 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stand David D. He writes the longest introductions for a message that is largely devoid of any deep meaning....All of David D's advice, while probably valuable, could be explained in three sentences. Stick to bullet points, you're not an author buddy. And enough of the shameless plugs at the end of every msg.

11:13 AM, July 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^^^ Yes, this chap does seem to just be stating the fucking obvious.

1:48 PM, July 23, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Although in David D's defense, real life examples, and his advice really brings home the message. Don't complain you're getting free information, he's allowed to plug! Do you think they survive on gratitude and good wishes? :)

11:36 AM, July 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the blog, and yes it is free, so don't read it if you think its too long. thanx

2:07 PM, July 24, 2006  

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The Future of Attraction Chronicles

7.17.2006

posted by Donovan at 8:31 AM

This blog, as you know, takes up alot of my personal time. I don't mind it, because it's helping me grow, and helping you guys onto your road towards autonomy. (I just learnt that word, I'm so rad)

I created this quick 12 multiple-choice survey to get an idea of what you want. If you give me your opinion, you'll start to notice alot more of what you ACTUALLY WANT. Otherwise, it's more of my crap over and over. =) (IMO my crap is worth more than gold BTW)

It will literally take about 1 minute, and I'll take it as a personal favor!

Click here

If you aren't yet a subscriber to my newsletter, enter your name, and email in the fields underneath "Download Neil Strauss's Annihilation Report" to the top left of this screen.

I'll be sending a free gift for those survey takers via the newsletter, so subscribe before you fill it in!

Cheers,
Donovan
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posted by Donovan at 8:31 AM Dating Advice for Men

2 Comments:

Blogger Lifestyle with BG said...

Ehh, didn't read the "sign up for the newsletter" thing 'til after I filled it in.

But okay, I filled it in. Good luck.

5:14 AM, July 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike Skinner learns how to attract women
Tuesday, July 18 2006, 10:59 BST - by Daniel Kilkelly


Mike Skinner is relying on a book to help him to increase his success with girls.

The Streets frontman is a big fan of Neil Strauss' The Game, which explores different techniques of how to pick up women.

"One song on the album - War of the Sexes - is about The Game," Skinner told the Daily Star. "I think it's a positive book. There are some pretty extreme characters in it, but even Neil ends up seeing that for what it is. It shows that men need to increase their chances.

"They need to help themselves because very few of us are born knowing what to say. Guys are flawed in that way. The book went around the tour bus really quickly. I'd love to meet Neil, he'd have a lot to show me."

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds34995.html

1:10 PM, July 19, 2006  

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