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Dressing For A Night On The Town

2.17.2006

posted by Donovan at 8:53 AM

This is taken from an Askmen post, awesome shiz. I think it is extremely applicable to us, because we usually head out to bars, clubs, etc. This could drastically improve your game. By Daniel J. Indiviglio

fashion tips for men
There are many ways to stand out in a bar setting -- not all of them good. During a recent visit to a super-trendy bar in the East Village of New York City, I noticed that everyone at the bar looked relatively hip and well-dressed, except for one poor soul. This guy wore an argyle sweater vest with a striped dress-shirt and khakis. If he were going for the "Emo" look or playing shuffleboard with his 80-year-old grandfather, that might have been okay. Sadly, this was not the case, and a part of me felt bad for him. He was, at worst, an average-looking guy, but he was dressed terribly for a night out in New York City.

Dressing properly and stylishly for a night out can sometimes be challenging. You want to stand out from others for your impeccable style, not because of inappropriate attire. In the spirit of the plight of the poor guy in the sweater vest, I wish to take this opportunity to assist anyone who needs help dressing for a night on the town. By following a few simple guidelines, you can avoid embarrassment and draw the right kind of attention to yourself.

Know your environment

You usually know where you're going before getting dressed. Consider three factors in assessing your attire choices.

1- Geographical location
Different cities have different general atmospheres. You can get away with a T-shirt in virtually any club in Miami, while few clubs in New York City consider T-shirts appropriate attire. In your hometown, you probably have a good idea of the kind of setting to expect, but when visiting a city foreign to you, ask the locals about the nightlife's ambiance.

2- Atmosphere of destination
If you know your evening's destination(s), you are ahead of the game. Ask friends who have been there before what to expect, or take five minutes to use the wonders of the Internet to look for descriptions of the destination(s). Websites like Citysearch or Shecky's (for info on NYC, LA, Boston, and Chicago) provide helpful details about restaurants, bars and clubs.

3- Weather
Finally, use the Internet one more time to see what Mother Nature has in store. If the forecast mentions cold weather, dress warmly. You do not want to be the guy in the corner shivering and rubbing his runny nose. If the forecast calls for rain, either bring a pocket-sized umbrella or wear a water-resistant jacket and shoes that can get a little wet without being ruined.

A visible waistline without a belt? Oh, the horror...

From the bottom up

Here are some surefire recommendations for all aspects of your wardrobe when going out.

Shoes
A man's shoes set him apart from the crowd. Shoes allow you to express your character better than any other article of clothing. For starters, never wear athletic sneakers. Some casual establishments will allow you to get away with trendier sneakers, by designers such as Kenneth Cole or Diesel. Good-looking shoes that seem too casual for a wedding are always your safest bet. Sandals are for the beach.

Best bet for any venue: Sketchers "Scanner - Examiner" (black)

Socks
Socks are easy. Your socks should have simple, solid colors or very mild patterns. I suggest staying away from pastels, but instead focus on neutral colors such as black, brown, navy blue, or gray. They should match your shirt, pants or shoes.

Best bet for any venue: Tommy Hilfiger "Signature Sock" (black)

Pants
If your venue is casual, stylish designer jeans might be appropriate. In less casual circumstances, flat-front pants seem the safest. Avoid pleats. Sometimes jeans will be too casual, but pants are rarely too formal, unless you vastly misjudge your destination. Unless you plan on going to a bar on the beach, leave your shorts at home.

Best bet for any venue: DKNY Men's Black Stretch Gabardine Pant

Belt
If the waistline of your pants will be showing, you should wear a belt. If you tuck your shirt in, then you absolutely need one. If you don't tuck your shirt in and your waistline isn't visible, wearing a belt is optional. Of course, if you need a belt so that your pants stay up, you should probably wear one. Remember: Crack kills. A final tip -- always match your belt to your shoes.

Best bet for any venue: Kenneth Cole "Valasko" (black)

Wow them with your outerwear...

Shirt
When it comes to your shirt, you probably have more options than any other article of clothing. I would generally advise against a T-shirt, unless a sufficiently casual destination awaits. Your next option consists of a shirt with buttons. This includes short-sleeve shirts, which are acceptable at not-too-swanky destinations during late spring or summer. The long-sleeve, button-down shirt is your safest option. Even at most casual destinations, a long-sleeve shirt will not seem too formal. Sweaters can look good at less formal venues, but stick to either solids or very mild patterns.

As far as general tips for color, if you have a dark complexion, you should not be afraid of bright colors or pastels. If you can pull them off, they will set you apart from the pack of blue and black shirts. Not sure what you can pull off? Go shopping with a friend whose fashion sense you respect. Ask your friend for feedback regarding potential wardrobe additions.

Best bet for any venue: Kenneth Cole Floral-Jacquard French Cuff Shirt

Outerwear
When it comes to outerwear, check the weather. You should have an overcoat for more formal spots, and a jacket for less formal spots. Some formal venues require a sports coat. If such a possibility exists, call ahead and check. The same goes for a tie, which would otherwise be extraneous. Other than to keep your neck warm in conjunction with a coat, do not wear a scarf unless you are auditioning for a part in a stage version of The Birdcage.

Best bet for any venue: Marc New York Black Lambskin Zip Front Jacket

Enjoy your evening

By accurately anticipating the atmosphere of your destination, you can follow the rules above and feel comfortable with your attire. As for standing out from the pack, that comes from developing your own personal style, which begins by learning what you can and cannot pull off.

As long as you stay within the bounds of the general principles outlined above, you can safely avoid being the guy that gets mocked and heckled by strangers. At the very least, you can avoid being the guy in the argyle sweater vest. I can only hope he reads this article.
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posted by Donovan at 8:53 AM Dating Advice for Men

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David Deangelo's Thoughts On Valentine's Day

2.14.2006

posted by Donovan at 10:49 AM

valentines Day

OK, 'twas the night before Valentine's Day and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... well, except for David D., who's up late writing another newsletter for you.

...And since I basically defiled a cherished Christmas poem to begin with, it's probably worth mentioning that technically it's the night BEFORE the night before Valentine's Day for me...

Whatever.

So, I have been thinking a lot about Valentine's Day lately... and I've been talking about it with friends as well.

As I was reading some of my AO-Hell email, I noticed that there were not one... not two... but THREE different ads inside of EVERY email viewer window selling FLOWERS for Valentine's Day. You gotta love AO-Hell's way of sneaking those ads into every one of your emails, huh?

ANYWAY, as I was realizing what BIG BUSINESS Valentine's Day must be, I started wondering...

Where the heck did Valentine's Day come from?

So, I decided to do a little research.

Well, as it turns out, there are several different stories about the origin of Valentine's Day. But one of them is by far the most common.

Wanna hear it? Here it goes...

So, back in about the year 270 A.D. or so, there was a priest named, you guessed it, Valentine. Some versions of the story said that he was a Bishop. Either way...

In those days the Emperor needed men for his army and he decided that it wasn't good to have men marrying up with women... because then the men would be more attached to their families than the army.

So, the Emperor OUTLAWED marriage.

Yep, he said, "It's illegal to get married".

Those were the days, huh?

OK, so Priest and/or Bishop Valentine decided that he was going to help young lovers out by marrying them in SECRET.

Well, the Emperor got wind of this business, and put a stop to it in a "New York Minute".

So, here's Priest/Bishop Valentine sitting alone in prison and who comes along? The super-babe, young daughter of the jail owner's daughter... and, of course, he falls in love with her.

One version of the story I read said that she was blind and he healed her of her blindness.

In any event, right before his execution (yeah, they killed him for performing marriages), he wrote a letter to this girl he was in love with and at the end signed it "From Your Valentine".

And then he was executed.

OK... Fast forward several centuries, and now everyone is out buying heart-shaped cards, chocolate, and long-stemmed red roses for women who have come to expect them.

Gotta love it!

Aside from me wanting to know what the HECK a Catholic Priest was doing falling in love with a youngster way back in the year 270 (Over 1,700 years before this kind of thing was fashionable), I want to know how this turned into men chasing women around with gifts in the year 2006!

I get it, I get it. It's nice to have a day out of the year to celebrate your love for that special someone in your life. Very cute.

And if you're reading this right now and you're married... or you've had a girlfriend for a year or two... then by all means, get her some flowers and chocolate... and one of those cute pink cards.

But what about the REST of us?

Well, here's a little gem of wisdom from one of my all time favorite books, "The Rules". Yeah, the book that teaches women how to manipulate men into marrying them...

Here's it is:

"RULE 12: Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentine's Day."

Nope, I'm not kidding.

By the way, a whole CHAPTER is dedicated to this rule in the book.

In the chapter, it basically says that if a man doesn't buy you jewelry (or some other romantic gift) for one of these holidays, then you should dump him, because he's not going to buy you the "big gift" of an engagement ring.

Now, before I present my radical extremist opposing perspective, I must first give you the disclaimer...

I think that long-term relationships are great, and if you're one of the lucky guys on this planet who has found a really exceptional woman, then more power to you, and I hope she likes the romantic gifts that you got her. Really.

But, for all the rest of us single guys (or guys who have just started dating a woman), I think that Valentine's Day can be kind of a drag.

Why?

Because there's another, more "subtle" message that this whole event communicates: The way to win a woman's heart is to buy her flowers, gifts, and jewelry... and to confess your feelings for her. And if she still doesn't like you, then you probably didn't get her enough gifts, or say the right things in the card.

While this idea of giving romantic gifts to show your love might be wonderful and healthy for LONGER-TERM relationships, it's usually a HORRIBLE concept for guys to use with women that they have just met, or who they've only dated a few times.

Even worse, for guys who don't have the skills to meet women and get dates, it's downright DEPRESSING.

I think that the Valentine's Day section of all stores should have a sign that says "No one who has been in a relationship less than 6-12 months allowed".

Why's that?

Because, if you "Go Valentine's Day" on a girl that doesn't know you very well (especially an unusually attractive one), you'll probably only be talking to her for another week or two.

Here's the problem...

MOST of the things that us guys have been brought up believing about how to "pursue" women is WRONG.

IT DOESN'T WORK.

Your mom loved you, but all that stuff she taught you about how to be a nice, respectable, ass-kissing Wuss Bag was waaaaaaayyyy off the mark.

See, the period from when you first meet a woman, up until the first 10 dates or so, is VERY different from ALL OTHER TIMES IN YOUR LIFE.

All of the rules you've learned about how to behave, how to be "nice", how to "make friends", how to treat people with kindness, etc., are USELESS here.

And EVEN WORSE, all the things you've learned about how to pursue women with gifts, food, and compliments will BACKFIRE on you big time if you use them here.

THIS PART OF THE GAME IS DIFFERENT.

And events like Valentine's Day, no matter how well-meaning they might be intended, definitely program us single guys with the WRONG way to behave around women we're attracted to (but not in a long-term relationship with).

So, what's the answer?

What should we be doing on Valentine's Day?

And how should we be feeling?

Well, here's a little self-tester and self-help quiz for you. If the statement and question applies to you, then do what comes after it...

1) "I just met this girl and I really like her. Should I go out and buy her something really nice for Valentine's Day?"

>>> If you just met her, then you should probably hold back... no big gifts. If you get a big, romantic gift for her, you're going to give her the idea that you're VERY into her. At this point, most women go into "play hard to get" mode, and become more and more difficult. If you really like her, do the things that have worked to attract
her... don't turn into a needy Wuss who seems like he's trying to buy her love and approval.

2) "I'm afraid that if I don't buy my girl something really nice for Valentine's Day, she'll leave me. What should I do?"

>>> The quack psychologist inside of me has a message for you: If you're insecure about your relationship with a woman to the point that you believe you have to BUY her attention, then HIT THE ROAD. If you're dating a woman who is interested in you for ANYTHING other than the feeling she gets from being with you... then you're in big trouble, and you don't even realize it. Down the road, she's going to be your worst nightmare. Trust me.

3) "I'm single and lonely. What can I do to get over this feeling of loneliness?"

>>> The BEST thing you can do is get out there and meet some women! Duh!

I was just chatting with a couple of different friends of mine who are both GREAT with women. They're both single guys who meet women anytime they want.

As it turns out, both of these guys had to LEARN these skills.

They started out having almost ZERO success with women.

We were talking about Valentine's Day, and how most guys run around chasing after women... buying them things... and generally acting needy with women that they hardly know... hoping to get some love and approval.

Here are a couple more things that both of these guys have in common:

1) They both have TONS of women calling them all the time.

2) They both avoid buying a Valentine's Day gift for ANY of the women they're seeing.

Their perspectives (and mine, as well) are that if you know how to meet women anytime you want, and women are attracted to you because of the FEELINGS that they get when they're with you (as opposed to the thing you buy them), then YOU get to make the rules.

My point is that if you are lonely and you're feeling bad about all this Valentine's Day business, then get up and DO something about it.

Get some skills. Meet some women.

Be the guy who GETS Valentine's Day gifts... instead of the guy who GIVES them.

You watch.

Mark my words, next week or the week after, in one of these newsletters, you're going to see stories from guys who had women buying them all kinds of fancy things for Valentine's Day. And then the guy will mention that he got gifts from two or three other women as well.

I can remember when I used to think that I had to buy women jewelry, flowers, and gifts to get their love and approval and affection.

I did that for years.

And it never worked very well.

Well, after spending several YEARS studying the secrets that "naturals" use to attract women, I can see WHY it never worked very well.

If you want to be one of the guys who GETS all the gifts on Valentine's Day... and who has his phone ringing off the hook from women calling HIM, then I recommend you check out my eBook.

Inside, I'll teach you all of the steps to turning the odds in your favor... and how to meet the kinds of women that you've always wanted.

Valentine's Day is a pain for a lot of guys. But it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Take some action and take things into your own hands.

My eBook is here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingResources.com/e/10000/eBook/


Your Friend,

David D.

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Fashion - Making A Great First Impression

2.13.2006

posted by Donovan at 10:39 AM

I thought I would include a small guide to making a great impression with your fashion sense, and when a woman first meets you. Taken from Askmen.com.

Men's Fashion Tips

It's superficial, but it's a reality -- people look at you, and in an instant you are judged based on the way you look. You could be rich as hell, but if you're dressed like a bum, mustard stains and all, you will be perceived accordingly. That's why it is important to look your best whenever you go out or have company.

Here are some tips that will always keep you looking your best.

Before you leave the house:

Take a shower every morning
There's just no excuse for missing a shower when you wake up, before you go out for the night or after a workout. Water, soap, towel. Simple.

Check your face
You don't necessarily have to shave, but at least ensure that your face is clean and free of "debris." A quick look in the mirror to check for nose hair, stuff in your beard or crust in your eyes doesn't take more than a few seconds, and is well worth the effort.

Groom your hair (ear, nose, chest, head, etc.)
Hair growth happens with regularity, so make trimming and upkeep part of your routine. Wash and condition your hair every day (or every other day, depending on your hair type and length). Set aside one day a week (preferably a Saturday or Sunday, when you have more time) to tend to ear, nose and chest hair.

Clean your hands
In the business world, handshakes can make or break you; in the dating world, a woman expects to see nice hands. So all you have to do is cut your nails regularly, scrape away the dirt with a "nail cleaner" or a nailbrush (which you can keep in the shower to save time), wash your hands frequently (to avoid sweaty, sticky hands), and use lotion on occasion (to keep them smooth).

Apply lip balm
There is nothing worse than looking at chapped lips, and trust me, no girl will want to kiss them. Find a good lip balm and use it regularly. Just don't put too much on, or it will end up looking like lip gloss. And if you don't like applying it in public because of the unmanly look it portrays, then do it in private when you go to the bathroom.

Dress with style and make sure you always look like a million bucks..

Dress well
You don't need a suit (unless the occasion calls for it), but you should always wear clean clothes that are wrinkle-free and smell good. In other words, wear clothes that were just in your drawer or closet, not your hamper.

On a related note, select clothes that fit. After you put on your clothes, take a look in the mirror for a few seconds to make sure they fit properly. Yes, their preferred fit will vary over time as styles change (along with your body and taste), but the key here is to pay attention to what you're putting on.

Use some sort of scent
Many guys go to town wearing some sort of fragrance, using everything from scented soap and deodorant to aftershave and cologne. Other guys prefer not to use anything. Like most things in life, the answer is moderation. Pick one scent (otherwise you'll combine fragrances, which will result in a weird smell) and go with it. Just make sure it isn't too strong and make sure not to bathe in it. One final note: Don't skimp on cost here; cheap cologne will act like repellant.

Shine your shoes
People tend to look at your shoes right away. If dress shoes are appropriate, make sure they're shined. If you're wearing casual shoes, make sure they look clean and new. Tattered shoes tell the world that you either don't have money or don't care -- neither option is attractive.

Once you're out:

Have proper posture
Good posture is important for you and your appearance. Focus on sitting and standing up straight. If you need a little extra help, do some posture exercises to strengthen your core muscles.

Scan your attire
Throughout a long day at the office, your clothes are likely to shift and get stained. After lunch and maybe again before you leave the office, check yourself in the mirror or look down to see if any adjustments are in order. As a side note, an untied tie is not a good look -- either keep it on or take it off.

Check your smell
Sweat happens, but it's also the enemy. Take a whiff of yourself every few hours and keep some fragrance (cologne, deodorant or body spray) on hand to freshen up. Also, if you sweat a lot, consider wearing an undershirt to prevent getting sweat stains on your shirts. To make sure you smell good from head to toe, apply talc powder on your feet to stay dry, especially if you're not wearing socks with your shoes.

Perform a quick facial check after you eat
Take a few minutes and use the bathroom mirror after you eat. Scan your teeth, nose and facial hair for any evidence of your meal or beverage. Ideally, you'd also brush your teeth, but if that isn't an option, then use a toothpick, mouthwash, gum, or mints.

You'll be judged by your cover
If you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you give off those vibes that tell the world that you feel great. Make your impressions count by letting your appearance show off what you have going on inside. And make frequent use of those mirrors. You don't have to be a woman about it, but you should check them as often as you can.
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posted by Donovan at 10:39 AM Dating Advice for Men

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