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Secrets to a Smooth Approach

5.04.2006

posted by Donovan at 9:17 AM

After the Stephen Nash interview, I received alot of positive feedback about his philosophies and methodology. I promised more from the "powerhouse" Stephen Nash (aka Playboy), so here it is with more to come:

Want to know the Truth?

FLIRTING WOMENMost guys won't approach a woman. They are too scared. It is more frightening than hiking up Mt. Everest, or speaking in front of the White House Press Corps.

So, if you want real choice and power with your dating life, you're going to have to join the minority. That's right - you are going to have to seize the opportunities when they come your way and push through your fear.

Any guy can do it. This is not rocket science, or dismantling a land mine here. In fact, most women will give you the benefit of the doubt just for having the cajones to approach her - cool?

Assuming you can get past your own fear (subtle challenge), here are some MUSTS for making your approach smooth. The idea is to make the process as comfortable for you and her as possible.

If you strike out, chalk it up as a "learning experience." Think about how you can make the next one better, got it?

Let's accelerate your learning curve and go over 3 elements for making your next approach look as natural as a sunrise.

1) Casual: Looks much easier written down than when staring at the next Mrs. YOU. But, if you come on too strong to her at first, she's going to get frightened and defend herself. To start the conversation, be as casual as possible by asking her a simple question about your environment. Also, keep your body language as neutral as possible by not turning and facing her or leaning in to her. She is much more likely to receive your approach if you can prevent the words "something is up here, I can just feel it!!" from crossing her mind. Feel free to also look away as you chat with her. Again, you are reinforcing the casual-ness of the interaction.

2) Playful: Lots of guys become Mr. Cocky when they approach women, which is a defense mechanism. Drop the cockiness, and show her your confident side by being playful. This is also called - FLIRTING - and is a MUST skill for guys who want to enhance their dating lives. You want to simply joke around, but stay away from teasing her - you don't know her well enough for that yet. Instead, point out the humor in your surroundings, or, even better, about yourself. The more self-effacing here the better. Let her know you don't take yourself too seriously. If you can master this, women will trust you. If women trust you, they will want to be around you. See where this leads?

3) Personal: Last, but not least, at some point you have to let her know a little bit about you. Instead of relying on the standard diet of questions ("where are you from?", "what is your sign?"), answer these questions for her in the form of statements. Just drop them into your conversation: "Your sweater reminds me of my sister, though we are from the south, it gets cold around November. She used to wear something similar at Thanksgiving." In that statement alone, I reveal three facts about my life: I am from the south, I have a sister, and we gather at Thanksgiving. Suddenly, you are no longer a guy she just met at the café, but someone she is "getting to know". There is a HUGE difference.

So, now that you have the basic three ideas in mind, you now have to LEARN them. Here is your mission:

Do one approach per day for the next week, and play around with these ideas. Try to take some notes after each approach, and learn where your sticking points are.

I love hearing from guys who are really trying to improve this area of their lives. I think it is so important, I started this business to help spread the word about how to be successful without trying to completely change who you are. My ebook How To Get A Girlfriend is written to be totally malleable to each guy's personality type and style. If you haven't downloaded it yet, go for it! You can get your own copy here.

Thanks a lot guys,

Stephen Nash

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posted by Donovan at 9:17 AM Dating Advice for Men

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I call bs on this statement:

"Most guys won't approach a woman. They are too scared."

Why? Just look around, do you think all the guys with women just had them magically appear? Nope, at some point they had to approach...unless of course we are talking about arranged marriages, and then you've got me there.

4:51 PM, May 05, 2006  
Blogger Stephen Nash said...

My meaning of "approach" here is the cold approach concept. Typically, people in life meet thru others.

"Jim, meet Jane"
"Jane, this is Jim"
"Nice to meet you Jane"
"My pleasure Jim"

That sort of thing...

Now, a guy walking up to a woman cold, without knowing her or her social network, is rare. This is the definition of "approach" I mean here - apologies for any confusion.

1:46 PM, May 07, 2006  

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Mystery's Home Video! (WTF)

5.03.2006

posted by Donovan at 11:25 AM

This is one of the episodes that you might have read about in The Game. Mystery spent some time compiling this episodes from footage from his Clie. He showed this clip at a Mystery Method seminar which Mystery explained is a good thing for comfort building, also you'll notice that she gives Mystery a gift. Interesting technique.

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posted by Donovan at 11:25 AM Dating Advice for Men

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Attraction Chronicles on Myspace

5.02.2006

posted by Donovan at 5:02 PM

I got the myspace profile up, if you are on myspace, add me!

Check it out:

http://www.myspace.com/attractionchroniclesblog
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posted by Donovan at 5:02 PM Dating Advice for Men

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:21 AM, November 07, 2006  

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How To Get A Girlfriend: CEIC's Top 10 MUSTS for Every Bachelor Pad

5.01.2006

posted by Donovan at 9:10 PM

Stephen Nash who I just did a interview with (which you can read here), did this awesome post on making your pad more chick friendly.

You might be the coolest guy in the world, with great stories, successful
career, killer clothes and an awesome social life. However, if your home is not
equipped with these 10 essentials, that smooth first impression you made will
head south as fast as geese in a snowstorm.

A woman should be excited to
see your home. She has enjoyed getting to know you, and is now open to taking
things to the next level. She arrives at your door, hoping that you can provide
a cool, comfortable and romantic experience. Follow these tips and you’ll do
that plus more…

1) Clean Bathroom. This is number one for a reason.
Please, please don’t let her walk in there and find no toilet paper. Right now,
go to the bathroom. If you are down to one roll (meaning, the ACTIVE one) stop
reading this and go to the store. Buy at least 6 rolls to have on hand. Also,
she should never see hair shavings scattered in the sink and a black ring around
the tub. She sees this…you never see her again.

2) An Unusual or Exotic
Coffee or Tea. If she doesn’t drink alcohol, she will really appreciate this
touch. A good place to find either item is in a gourmet grocery store. Get fresh
ground coffee or fresh tea leaves. Coffee in a can or tea bags doesn’t cut it
here.

3) Entertainment. No Barry White or Marvin Gaye, they are just
beyond comical and cliché. Try Portishead, Coldplay or Ben Harper. Also, have at
least half a dozen movies that you can pull out in a moments notice. You are
looking for something that sets a romantic, yet fun mood. Here are some
suggestions: Don Juan DeMarco, Annie Hall, There’s Something About Mary, Arthur,
Casablanca, Hitch, and Sidewalks of New York are all great options.

4)
One Special Recipe. You don’t need the cooking expertise of Daniel Boulud, but
it is important, not to mention impressive, that you be able to prepare at least
one good meal. After selecting your signature dish, consult the local wine shop
for the perfect match. A suggestion: baked fish is simple, healthy, elegant, and
can be combined with a light vegetable or two. Also, go the extra mile by buying
a small, tasty tart or cake from the local bakery for dessert. The result: an
unforgettable, gourmet meal that separates you from the pack.

5)
Non-fluorescent Mood Lighting. Overhead lighting tends to wash-out color and
feel stark. Have areas lit by lamps, adding to the romantic mood. Also, if you
have a lava lamp, toss that in the garbage along with the tie-dyed t-shirts. Or,
at least hide them in the closet.

6) Wine. Always have 2 bottles of wine
on hand, one red and one white. No need to go overboard, but don’t skimp either
and buy “Boone’s Farm”. $20 per bottle is plenty. Also, be sure to own wine
glasses. Have at least four on hand, as they break easily.

7) Hide the
Video Games. Nothing says "lazy, loser, and adolescent" like an X-box on the
floor in front of your TV. Video games are female repellant. Why? I’ll never
know. It’s like trying to uncover the mystery of why girls go to the bathroom in
packs…

8) Family Photo. Let her know you came from somewhere; that you
weren't dropped on earth last week in the bar where you met. It’s certainly
comforting for her to know this, but even better to SEE it. A solo picture of
mom is a major plus here too.

9) Semi-Stocked Fridge. Make sure there is
more than a bottle of ketchup and half a six pack of Bud. Have some snacks that
you won’t need to prepare. Ice cream, fresh fruit, chocolate, and cheese are all
great, light foods. Also, for a sophisticated, simple snack try sliced tomatoes
with basil and mozzarella. It bespeaks sophistication and intelligence, while
not requiring hours of preparation.

10) Shorts and a Tee Shirt. Have a
spare for her if she decides to stay over. Don't buy a pair of shorts with a
size 25 waist; she'll either think they're from a previous girl or that you're a
player. Get one that would fit you, but with a drawstring; very inconspicuous,
and thoughtful.

Having a clean place can make up for a lack of any of
these points. Keeping clean shows respect for your guests. At minimum, be sure
the kitchen is clean with no old dishes in the sink, and no dirty clothes
scattered on the floor. Most importantly - the bed MUST be made.

Overall
your place needs to look neither fussy nor girly. This is a bachelor pad, so let
it be obvious that a single man lurks within. Your place should reflect you and
do so effectively. If you have any questions, invite a female friend over for
lunch, and ask for her no-holds-barred opinion.

The post witheverything to know about bachelor pads.

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posted by Donovan at 9:10 PM Dating Advice for Men

1 Comments:

Anonymous Lisa BB said...

Doesn't matter how hot a guy is, or what a breath taking kisser he may be, arriving at a man's door step for the first time is always an apprehensive moment.

A woman's interior conversation is usually not, "Will his place be disgusting?" Sadly, gross, unkempt, smelly are givens. (We know this. Yet we are at your door anyway. You must be good!) The question women wrestle with is to what degree is this going to be an unsavory revelation and how to feign not being totally repulsed.

Imagine my delight then to read your advice on how to spiff-up a bachelor pad!

Women know we are being played. It's thrilling for us, too! At least have the courtesy to seduce us in style, or the very least, clean sheets.

Your list is great!
Women of the world say, "Ah, men!"

9:38 AM, March 15, 2007  

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Asian Playboy Covered in D Magazine

posted by Donovan at 4:07 PM

A Texan magazine called D Magazine recently covered AsianPlayboy, a mate of mine from the Dallas area that has recently started doing bootcamps.

Check the article out (it's from a woman's perspective so beware):

http://www.dmagazine.com//article.asp?articleid=1073
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posted by Donovan at 4:07 PM Dating Advice for Men

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Eye Cues and Axis

posted by Donovan at 3:50 PM

The Eye Accessing Cues indicate whether a person is thinking in images, sounds, self-talk, or through their feelings. Having this information helps us to tell relate in a more effective way that will match their current thinking style.

Recognising eye movements takes a little practise because, although some people have eye movements that are quite slow, most eye assessing will be very subtle with little 'flicks' that are almost unnoticeable. So take note!

Here is a cool visual representation from this mindworks site.



The trick is not to permanently store someone into one specific category. People might remember things differently per memory. I think you get the basic idea.

To build rapport with the different types of people, it is best to speak in such words as 'I saw' for people with visual leanings, or 'I felt' for people with other feelings. I'm still experimenting with this, so I'll post more when I field test more.

This is a great way to build deep rapport with a woman, and accelerate the comfort building stages. Remember: It is reverse for left-handed people!

Donovan

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posted by Donovan at 3:50 PM Dating Advice for Men

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This has been thoroughly disproven a ridiculous number of times. All you have to do to confirm is check Wikipedia. Please stop spreading false information.

3:44 PM, May 01, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Women find this stuff fascinating, why not try explaining this theory to her. Also, even if it is false, it will help build your storytelling and banter skills using descriptive and interesting wording.

3:53 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys who are concerned that the details of everything people say are always completely accurate, obviously don't connect very well with women.

Of course people look one direction or another while they are trying to imagine or remember things. Whether they always look the same direction, and how much this varies from person to person, is up for discussion. So discuss it with her, and quit being the accurate fact police!

11:11 AM, October 21, 2006  

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How To Handle Being Dumped (Video)

posted by Donovan at 1:13 PM

This clip is pretty funny. This is exactly how you should handle a cheating girlfriend... the end has a pretty good twist :)

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posted by Donovan at 1:13 PM Dating Advice for Men

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