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What Do You Say... Bitchshield or Just Shy?

9.09.2006

posted by Donovan at 3:22 PM

Ok guys, I might start something new here at Attraction Chronicles.

This is a trial but I'll see if we can't get some conversation going, and get you guys to GIVE answers to fellow Chronicles readers who may be less experienced. Simply post a comment below!

Question:

"I used to think some hot girls had this huge BITCHSHIELD, although I've noticed lately that alot of the women I like, are just naturally quieter, and shy (than most other hot girls, but still have killer personalities, and lives). What is the quickest and most effective way to get them to open up, and start building comfort and rapport with me?

D
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posted by Donovan at 3:22 PM Dating Advice for Men

6 Comments:

Anonymous Damien said...

Try light banter and you'll find she'll start opening up. Light kino as well, that helps to open up shy girls.

3:35 PM, September 09, 2006  
Anonymous Mike D said...

You could do that, and if you take things SLOWER, step-by-step instead of RUSHING, she will gain more trust for you. Thats key...2. Make friends with her friends, and gain there trUst.

It sometimes just takes longer espcially if you want her as a gf.

3:37 PM, September 09, 2006  
Anonymous Automatic said...

You might be over thinking this. One thing that we often don't talk enough about here is congruency.

It really isn't a matter of technique or what to "do." As long as you are congruent--as in whatever you say or do matches the genuine personality you've developed from within yourself--the woman will feel comfortable and open up to you.

Women only resist rapport when they sense, even slightly, that your words/actions are somehow false.

If you're a warm charmer, be a warm charmer. She'll open up.

If you're a cocky-funny badboy, be a cocky-funny badboy. She'll open up.

If you're a sensual Casanova, be a sensual Casanova. She'll open up.

If you're a classy gentleman, be a classy gentleman. She'll open up.

You just have to grow internally as a man. Learn who you really are underneath all that psychological baggage and bad social programming. Once you've determined what your identity is, you can consider how a man like you would act, and then act accordingly.

It is not easy, but it is simple.

9:04 PM, September 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Donovan,

Don't forget about this excellent post regarding bitch shields:

http://attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com/2006/06/girls-are-friendly-myth-of-btch-shield_08.html

5:31 AM, September 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shy, quiet, beautiful women are often very smart. They know it and they want brains to set them apart more than looks. Where some women think beauty is a blessing, smart women may see it as a curse. All women get angry and sad after years of men refusing to see and engage their minds, but it is far worse with extremely smart ones. I work with a lot of HB9 and HB9.5 women who have near-genius level IQs. Once they see you patiently engage their intellectual side, they'll chase you.

I like a slight twist on the Scared Little Friend frame (credit Dmitri/Woodhaven/Stephane?). She gets scared you think she is a bimbo. Let congruence and patience convince her that you are an intellectual equal who hungers for the same kind of stimulation she does.


Silver

10:36 AM, September 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These answers sound like AFC advice.

Shyness is caused by a lack of social confidence and hypersensitivity to other people's opinions. Social proof is the best answer because her friends' positive reactions to you will bolster her confidence to interact with you.

However, don't confuse a shy girl with an anti-social girl or a girl who is emotionally and pathologically unable to open up to others.

1:47 PM, September 12, 2006  

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Maximum Edge Seminar

9.06.2006

posted by Donovan at 2:30 PM

I just got this notice from Stephen Nash of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. This seminar will truly be value for money. I've personally witnessed Stephen's smooth style, and highly recommend his products.

Wanted to give you a heads up that seminar space for the end of the month is quickly filling-up. I got a number of sign-ups over the holiday, so the event is now nearly sold-out. I encourage you to get on the list asap.

We are VERY excited to offer this BRAND NEW program entitled the "Maximum Edge Seminar", to be held in NYC on Sat. September 30 & Sun. October 1. In it we cover everything you need to know to MASTER your social skills so that you can meet women and date on your terms, while also maximizing your lifestyle, and personal style so that you are always at your most attractive...if you are looking for balanced and healthy relationships, this program is critical to your future success.

If you'd like to hear some audio of me discussing the seminar, and sign-up now, go here:


http://www.ceimageconsulting.com/seminars.php


What follows is a mere sampling of what will be taught at this seminar:


* Learn our ground-breaking 3-point plan that gives you the power when meeting new women;

* We disclose the secret art of "hooking" so that women never walk away from you again;

* How to bait ANY woman into a conversation so that within minutes she is dying to know YOU;

* We go over the subtleties of female psychology and why it is absolutely necessary to do THREE key things when meeting any new woman...do you know what they are?;

* We will guide you through a step-by-step process to build a look that empowers you. Look forward to feeling confident about what you wear each and every day;

* We help each student understand the BEST places to go where they can meet women with the greatest probability of success. Certain venues are better for some than for others - let's find a plan that works for YOU;

* Learn which conversational topics are fascinating to women. Never be boring again;

* We will guide you through a step-by-step exercise which will help you get your life on track, and moving forward towards an attractive, autonomous lifestyle. This is the ultimate way to be attractive, and to feel like a man;

* We provide a clear definition of relationships, and why some work and some don't. We give you clear-cut ways to improve all of your relationships TODAY;

* There are three different ways to engage women in conversation when you are socializing. These three are based on the three different environments that exist socially. Do you know what they are? We teach you on Day I of the program;

* We explain the importance of lifestyle, and why it is critical to live fully and have fun. This is essential to your success with women. Curious why?

* We teach you the FASTEST way to begin conversations in ANY environment;

* We outline the aspects of a successful mindset, and we then lead you through a clear and concise exercise to attain that attitude for yourself;

* We teach you how to flirt, tease, and tell stories which build fascination and intrigue. This is precisely how you will never feel lost for words when relating to women;

* We instantly improve your body language and tonality with simple, clear advice never heard anywhere before;

* We give you a SIMPLE way to ALWAYS be relaxed and comfortable before approaching and engaging women in conversation;

* Get women chasing you by being a challenge and by playing hard to get - you may have heard other ways to create this dynamic. Throw them all away - this one is solid, and empowers you to be the prize;

* We give you precise things to say, and then teach you how to drop all scripted lines and be truly spontaneous;

* Learn priceless leadership secrets that you CANNOT LEARN ANYWHERE ELSE - these will lead you to the promised land with beautiful women;

* Learn the secret to building a FAST and GENUINE emotional connection;

* We will give you three different dating scenarios which most guys follow - there is one, and only one, which is nearly a guarantee for success - which one do you follow now? How can you change your strategy for dating to increase your success?;

* We give you a solid blueprint on how to live with PASSION and bring other people into your life - become the magnet of your social circle;

* We reveal deep insights into female psychology that women don't want you to know;

* We will help you create a profile for the woman you truly desire, and help you develop a PLAN for meeting her and bringing her into your life. It is critical that you know what you are looking for in a woman, and we will reveal this to you on Day II of the program;

* Critical elements in creating an interesting and magnetic lifestyle - have people coming to you from now on;

* We speak at length about connections, and intimacy - topics that are baffling to men, and we describe them in detail, giving you a solid framework to create more of both in your life.

Again, below is the link you need to sign-up today and insure seating at the "Maximum Edge" seminar at the end of the month. We look forward to working with you!

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/ceimageconsulting

Best,

Stephen Nash
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posted by Donovan at 2:30 PM Dating Advice for Men

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd suggest people use caution when thinking about taking a class from Mr. Nash. He doesn't like people disagreeing with his mental map of the world. He spends a extreme (compared to others) amount of time discussing clothes. Clothes really don't matter. Look around the next time you are out if you don't believe me. Most guys with women look like crap (stylistically), yet they are with women.

One could dress Mystery in a nerd outfit and his game wouldn't drop. It's the person inside the clothes that matter.

Just don't do something stupid and you are OK clothing-wise. What is something stupid? Well, black shoes and a tan belt would be one. Iron your clothes. Have a nice pair (better would be uniquish) of shoes. It's really not hard and it's really not a big deal, although it will be a learning process. Clothes are quite expensive and I'm just trying to save people some dough.

Check out men.style.com or thesatorialist for more style info. Make it a hobby, its fun. At the end of the day, if you don't have the right body language and say the right things, clothes don't matter (they won't help or hurt).

Jim

9:57 PM, September 06, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Having known people, and myself, that have taken classes from Nash, I can say that 1. fashion makes a huge difference (women approach you) eg. I just bought a pair of $250 Prada sunglasses that my gay black friend recommended while I was in NYC. Nothing makes a woman melt like those. 2. Nash's system is simple, no fluff, and works. I've seem incredible changes in myself and others who have heeded his advice.

anonymous, your assumption is that most guys already know this about fashion. Although, thankyou for the links and addition information!

7:21 AM, September 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your point that most guys with women dress badly is true. However guys with hot women dress well.

Clothes DO matter. They give you an EDGE. Good clothes and haircuts are can easily and drastically increase a man's attractiveness. Great skills and great clothes are much better than great skills alone.

11:21 AM, September 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah dressing nice help. if we are talking about first impression why not look your best. if you don't want to dress nice, then your game better be tight because I don't know what keeping the girls their.

11:37 AM, September 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never thought Nash was talking solely about fashion - his blog is loaded with actual useful shit about dating and communicating with women - it's my favorite actually. I wish he and Mike would post more about fashion - so many idiots out there wearing their PUA gear - that shit is female repellant dude.

I think anonymous just needs some love out there...go sargin' bro...leave..the..keyboard man...you...can...do...it (hows that for some love man!)

10:23 AM, September 14, 2006  

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Three "Big Mistakes" Guys Make On Dates

9.04.2006

posted by Donovan at 11:06 AM

I enjoyed this email from David. Helps put some certain things in perspective.

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hello, I am reading your book now and it's great, the cocky guy thing is working 100%. I actually got 5 #'s in 4 days! WOW :) Thanks! My Q is, I met a girl online, she gave me her #, I called her we met, got dinner, drinks, then made out! Cool stuff! She says she is having the greatest time, blah blah blah. When I kissed her, and made out a little, she then says, slow down its the first date. I felt bad for going on so fast. So I said sorry. When we went home (2 different directions) everything was cool, (looked like it at least) I said, "ok, thanks, great time blah blah" the i said "You want me to call u or u gonna call me?" She goes "I'll call u, u call me its all good" SO it ended good, (i think) NOW, Should I CALL HER the next day or not?

Thanks,

K.

P.S. she wants to go out to a different town with me for the weekend to have fun. HOW DO I ACT SO I DONT LOOK LIKE A WUSS AND EASY TO GET GUY!??!?!?

MY COMMENTS:

OK, well ready yourself.

I'm about to do some of my "David D. Quack-Psycho-Analysis" on you. Emphasis on the Psycho.

In a one paragraph email, you managed to tell me about a MINIMUM of three major mistakes that you made with this particular girl. If I really thought about it, I could probably find another few in there as well.

So hug your inner child and tell him that everything is going to be OK before I verbally abuse him...

Here are the three mistakes that I noticed right off the bat:

1) Making out with her somewhere other than at your house (or her house).

2) Apologizing for making out with her.

3) Asking her if you should call her, of if she should call you.

I'll address each one in a minute in detail, but first let me start off with some of my Quack theories.

One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't Attracted To Wussies".

I say this because:

1) It's true.

2) If you don't understand this principle, you're likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph" to a woman that you're a Wuss.

3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling... you're done. Game over.

I think that most of us guys have these little secret beliefs that we hide from the rest of the world... and that we TRY to hide from women.

I was having an interesting discussion with a good friend today, and we were talking about how most guys act when they're around an "attractive" woman.

Most guys do one of the following:

- Give attractive women a lot of compliments immediately.

- Kiss up to attractive women.

- Try to get attractive women to like them by buying them gifts, dinners and flowers.

- Chase after attractive women and let it be known that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right from the beginning.

- Hand over all of their power and status to attractive women.

Know what I'm talking about?

Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a beautiful woman... and he's obviously nervous about the whole situation... and you can tell that he's doing everything he can to NOT screw up so he can get the woman's approval?

Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?

Yeah, me too. A lot.

Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior usually BACKFIRES BIG TIME.

All of the little things that most guys do to get a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman that:

"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME."

Now that I understand this particular aspect of male/female interactions, I can see the horrible results all around me.

At bars I watch guys walking up to women and giving compliments... or offering to buy drinks... and the women smiling politely thinking, "Oh, another loser", and excusing themselves...

I see men at dinner with their dates... DESPERATELY trying to get the women they're with to show any sign of interest... but the women only become colder and less interested... And I know that the women are only getting ANNOYED at this behavior...

I read personal ads in the paper and online from men who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great guy! No, really!"... and I know that the women reading these ads are saying to themselves "Yeah, loser"... and the guys are getting little or no
response...

I think you get the picture.

The point I'm making is that when you do things like asking her if she wants you to call her or if she wants to call you... and apologizing for making out with her, you are making the same basic mistake.

Why would you apologize for making out with a woman?

I mean, think about it.

You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would not have done it in the first place. Duh.

You were actually LYING when you said you were sorry. You were only sorry that she didn't want to continue, man.

When you said, "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was "Uh oh, I just screwed up. I'd better say something quick to fix this. I will put aside my own wants and desires, and say whatever you want to hear in hopes that you'll like me and give me
attention and approval".

Really.

It's actually even WORSE than that.

The reality of this situation is that when you apologized, you created a POWER SHIFT.

The power shifted from YOU to HER.

You felt it, and she felt it.

I guarantee that in the few seconds after you said "I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach and knew something was wrong. But I ALSO guarantee that she felt a little SURGE of power AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

At the same moment you were realizing that you just did something wrong, she was realizing that she OWNED YOU.

Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little bit of disappointment in you, because you were apologizing for something just to get her approval... and women don't WANT to own men.

Heavy man, heavy.

And the SAME thing happened in the moment that you asked her if she wanted you to call her or if she wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser degree).

That's one of those little moments where you basically said "Here, take the power. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. You get to make the decisions. Please tell me that you want me to call you, because that will affirm that you like me".

Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a boyfriend who she eventually cheats on... or, even worse, a boyfriend who she eventually marries and then divorces because you turned into a boring Wussy husband from hell.

So, my general advice to you is:

STOP IT!

Stop doing things that let her know that she OWNS you.

One of the best things you can do is learn to PAUSE before you respond to ANYTHING that makes you feel an "Emotional Wussy Rush".

If she says something that indicates that she's not happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.

Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut and the brain operating.

If you have to, run everything through your mental "Wussy Analyzer".

Decide if the response you're going to give her is to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.

Don't do things that hand over the power in the relationship. Don't let the things a woman says shake you emotionally.

Finally, I want to address your mistake of making out with her somewhere other than in your house or her house.

I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?

One of the best things I've learned is that if you LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a girl, and don't try to "make your move" early on, you'll do MUCH better later.

You mentioned that you're reading my eBook right now... and it sounds like you're actually doing pretty well. If you've gotten five women's numbers in four days, I think you're going to live... lol.

Pay close attention, because in my eBook I share some KILLER techniques for making
it completely "natural" for a woman to come back to your place, come inside, etc. and the exact steps to take, to take things to a "physical level" once you're there.

Most guys totally screw this part up.

They go to all the trouble to approach a woman, get her number, call her, get a date, go on the date, pay for the date, spend all that time... and then have NO IDEA what to do next.

The reality is that if you just KNOW WHAT TO DO, and you've prepared in advance, you can easily take things to the next level... and give her an experience that will make her DEFINITELY call you back for another date.

Make sure you read the bonus booklets that came with Double Your Dating... especially "Bridges" and "Sex Secrets". Those will teach you how to smoothly transition from one step to the next, and how to get a woman sexually aroused (a skill that almost NO men have).

...and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn the secrets of how to get a woman to come home with you and WANT to come inside with you after a date... and the exact steps to take once you're there to make sure that you DON'T get a response like this guy... then you need to check out my eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

I have spent the last several years of my life learning from guys who are AMAZING with women, and figuring out all kinds of simple, easy-to-use techniques just like the ones I've mentioned for getting a woman to come home with you, getting a woman "turned on", and taking things to a "physical level" in a way that she'll enjoy. In my eBook I share dozens of these ideas.

You can download it right now, and be reading it in a few minutes... Just go here.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.
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posted by Donovan at 11:06 AM Dating Advice for Men

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of the little things that most guys do to get a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman that:
"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME."


Extreme measures like paying for an eBook, going to seminars and talking to girls using words that aren't even your own?
/andreas

2:12 AM, September 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Learning, gaining knowledge, and empowering yourself is not the same thing as seeking women's approval.

7:30 AM, September 05, 2006  

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