Will You Get Better With Women?

Over this past year I've been posting about being successful with women. Guy's come seeking alot of different things: girlfriends, one-night stands, multiple partners, and spouses. To each their own, and I find it inspiring when men take the initative and take small (and major) steps to improve their lives.

The truly brilliant thing is when you start becoming better with women, you start to lead a happier more fulfilling life. You actually improve all other areas of your life.

Sounds strange, but by fixing your problems with dating, you ultimately help your relations with all people around you. Which inturn helps you have more confidence to start a new job, mend old relationships with family, or who knows what.

Isn't that what it's about?

Improving your life, and controlling your lifestyle.

Theres a slight problem though...

Sometimes the solutions are right there but we don't ACT.

I discovered something recently, that procrasintation is DIRECTLY related to DEPRESSION and INACTIVITY.

What this means is, if you're feeling down, it's because you aren't evolving and progressing into who you're suppose to be!

This is massive problem with men. I think this is the BIGGEST problem with men.

When a man acts with purpose, doors open for him.

This is true with finances, careers, family, addictions, and most importantly (for us) WOMEN.

How many times have you been invited to go out with someone, and you've said in your mind...

"It's gonna be alot of fun, but I can't be BOTHERED," then your mind starts making up excuses for you not to hangout. Like, "Nothing ever happens there anyway," or "There's no hot girls there", or my personal favorite, "All the girls are shallow and whores!"

Ha ha

The important point is that your mind makes excuses for your inactive behavior, which inturn makes you LESS motivated to make things happen.

Like I said before in other words, INACTION is the key to MISERY.

So what can you do?

Well, identify your problem.

Are you not getting dates? Are you feeling depressed? Are you not getting the type of women you want? Do you wish you could have a lifestyle more like your dreams? Do you feel your destined to be great, but suffer from lack of action?

It's time to get your life handled.

Your hear on the internet, searching for your problem: wanting to get better with women.

So what can you do?

You can take action!

You need a foundation.

I don't care how much success with women you've had. You need some basis and understanding of how women tick, what makes them tick, and how you can trigger the tick.

I've been using Double Your Dating techniques (with other things) for a while now, and I can honestly say, it's helped me gain a much stronger perspective with women and dating. It's defintely the cheapest, and most directed start to your future dating lifestyle.

Alot of people think Double Your Dating is the definitive guide to dating. Maybe, maybe not.

What I do know is that the principles in it, GOVERN all the other dating guru's advice (directly or indirectly).

If you're starting out, and haven't made this investment in your life, you need to.

It's a cheap price to gain more confidence, direction, purpose, and social skills.

You'd be suprised by the emails (and photos) that I get from guys. Before and afters.

I'm shocked, and that's why I love running this blog. It helps guys. It helps them take control.

That's why I give you advice. I've been there (with many others), and there is hope. You just need to take ACTION.

If you're not ready to purchase Double Your Dating, why not just signup for his free newsletter? (Which is filled to the brim with insider dating secrets, pickup lines, techniques, and theories)

You know how you can't tell someone unless you've been there...

Check it out here

Remember: TAKE ACTION, and DO.

Till next time,

Donovan

He Said/She Said: A Perfect Pickup and Both Sides of the Story

A new kind of field report. His story and her story. If you want to get the girl AND make her happy, you need to know what she thinks, and what she feels. You need to know HER story.



I met my girlfriend one sunny afternoon in the city. I was in the middle of teaching Art of Rapport I didn't know her, and she didn't know me, but after 10 minutes, we felt like we were supposed to know each other.

This is the story of how it happened.

Both sides of the story. Mine and hers.
He Said/She Said:

Him: She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Warm, honey skin, soft brown eyes, long lashes, silky hair flowing under a funky cap, just a touch of sparkly blue eye-shadow, and a sly smile under pillowy lips.

Her: First of all, let me tell you something about myself. I'm not your typical shy, submissive asian girl. On the contrary, guys are intimidated by me. I'm very sensible and I'm very proud of my logical brain.

Usually with guys, I can sense the bullshit coming miles away. I tend to be very dismissive of guys' so-called "lines." And i thought i was immune to pick-ups. that is, until i met Sean. He blew me away and i was just too taken aback to react with my "logical brain."

And one more thing, about the time that this happened, i was a little upset about boys, the last thing i want is to date one.

Him: It's a crowded Sunday in a little café in Union Square in San Francisco. Workers are putting up the giant Christmas tree, and shoppers are everywhere. It's not quiet, calm, and peaceful. People are jostling about, and everyone can see everything. Perfect. Put this on display for all to see -- this is exactly what I have prepared for.

Her: It was in November. I was really tired that day and i was dazed. I just wanted to get my cafe mocha and sit. There were a lot of people in the little cafe, standing in line, wanting to buy the pretty little pastries displayed on the glass window. I remembered being a little annoyed with the crowd. So crowded and loud, i just want to be away from the noise. I smiled at the guy behind the counter and flirt a little. And then, off with my coffee.

Him: Get in line for food and keep looking at her. I fix her image in my mind. I look away. Let the nerves build up. Feel it in my chest, in my heart. I want this beautiful girl. I want her so much. I want her to have my kids, and her kids, and walk hand-in-hand on the boardwalk on the beach, win her giant stuffed animals for her at games of chance, snuggle on Sunday mornings, and buy her sparkly things to make her smile. I let all the silly and wussy and once-again-silly thoughts fill me up. I will use them as fuel.

I will walk up to her, alone. I will have no pretext, no introduction, no excuse. It will be her, and it will be me, and in this secret world, we will be. I want the nerves. I want the fear. I want this to be hard. For a man who didn't know what he was doing, that would make it impossible. For me -- for me it makes it perfect.

Her: My friend was at the corner of the cafe, trying to find us seats. We have to be like vultures, otherwise we have to sit outside drinking coffee in the chilly november weather. We finally managed to find a nice square table tucked away in the corner of the cafe. I took the seat facing the window outside with my back towards the line of people.

Him: My single 100%-perfect girl takes a seat at a table right behind me -- with her 99%-perfect girl friend. She's here, now. I know from experience if I leave now, without meeting her, it will wake me from a sound sleep when I am old and grey, and the not knowing will haunt me like a ghost.

Fuck it. I have studied, practiced and worked at this for a reason. This girl is the reason. She is the one that brought me here today. When you find the princess, she will not be waiting for you on a bed made of Twinkies and tits. She will be in a castle, guarded by a dragon, behind a wall of flames. Walk through the flames.

I step out of line. Walk to her table. I feel every eye upon me. Stand at their table. They both look up.

I say nothing. I don't worry about what to say. My hands are down, my eyes are steady. I open my mouth.

"I was on my way out, and I saw you."

"I couldn't leave without meeting you. May I sit?"

Her: The second after we sat down, right before i opened my mouth to chatter away, i felt a soft tap on my left shoulder.I looked up and saw this big, white guy wearing a blue shirt looking down on me. The first thought that flew to my mind, "hmm, maybe he wants the empty chair."

I smiled at him, ready to give the answer, "yes, you can have the chair." But, all the time, he kept holding my gaze and then moments later he uttered the most unexpected words, "i was on my way outside"(Pause..), and i saw you. I just have to talk to you."(pause)..may i sit down?"

Him: They both stare at me. The room stares at me. I wait. She says yes. I reach back to table behind me and grab a chair from another table without asking. Is someone else using it? Not anymore. Chair bangs against other chairs. It appears unsmooth, but I don't care.

Her: The way he said it, it was so soft, and felt so genuine and his expression, it didn't feel fake. I think my brain stopped working, because, before i can think of anything to say, i felt my right arm gesturing to the empty chair next to my right and said, "sure." He sat down and kept holding my gaze, and didn't say anything. I felt very awkward and felt compelled to say something first (keep in mind i have a friend who sat next to my left and she had this shock expression on her face.and i know she won't say anything). After the proper introduction, i asked him what he was doing?

Him: I sit. Look at her -- gently, but seeing her. I don't say anything. A year passes. She asks, "so what are you doing today?"

Her: I felt dream-like.My heart was beating faster and i kept trying to think. I could not believe that this is happening, but, i was willing to give this guy a chance. He told us about his goddaughter and showed us pictures of his dogs. All the time, i felt comfortable and looking at him, i thought to myself "hmm..this guys is cute and he has really nice eyes." however, i'm still not sure where all this is going , and i can feel that my friend did not like what was happening one bit. I can actually feel her being really cold to this stranger.

Him: I mention something about Christmas shopping. Start talking normal stuff. Introduce myself, they introduce themselves. Gia and Lily. My internal circuits are all afire, but I will not stop. That's how it works. I don't have to keep going. I just have to Not. Stop.

Gia is from Indonesia. Lily is from Thailand. They live here now. I tell them I teach dogs owners how to understand their dogs. They love dogs, Golden Retrievers. I tell them how big the hearts of a Golden are, that they are made of love. Time passes. I talk about the park near my house. Watching sunset from the swings, and the cafe close by with the best hot chocolate in the city.

Her: He told us that he just moved here from boston and that he lived by the park on which hill you can climb and view san francisco city light. A few minutes later, he said he had to go and then said that me and him should go to that park together. I thought to myself, "Uh-uh, not so fast,dude"

He tried to make me to say yes. But, I stubborny said "we'll see..we'll see," and smiled sweetly at him. And finally he asked for my phone number.

Him: The air is heavy with this moment I feel the weight. Time to go. Tell them so. Tell Gia to meet me at my house next week and we'll go to the park. She agrees. Gives me her number. We hug, and her skin smells like summer.

Her: To this day, I still do not know why i gave him my number. It could be that i sensed something about him or that i was carried away in the movie moment. The feeling was indescribable. it felt surreal, it was pure emotions.

I stand. Legs still working. Nice surprise.

Walk out, slow, stunned. Kick-to-the-head stunned. My world is of muffled sound, like under the sea, like leaving a Metallica show. Everything is slow and gentle, everything is floaty.

Her: I still wasn't sure about him. Part of me hope so much for it to be real,hope that he's not an asshole and really hope that he meant what he said. However, He was nothing but sweet and genuine and funny for the next few days we talked on the phone.

Talk twice over next week, flirty, funny, sexy. Normal topics too. School, work, fun. She's coming over Saturday.

Her: I did try to talk myself out of this date, but i can't. The way he came up to me like that, being so vulnerable and yet so strong, i just can't. This guy is ballsy and i like that. I granted him one date. I thought, "what the hell, it should be fun, i got free pizza."

Him: With two bottles of wine, one white, one red. With a dog treat for my dog.

We will be as lovers who meet again and again, as the wheel does turn, as it was meant to be.

Her: This month is our 7th month dating each other. I am very happy and the story of how we met has been told many times. My friend and i still talk about it. Everytime I passed that little cafe, everytime i drank my cafe mocha,my mind always flew back to that moment. Its embedded forever in in my heart.

If you liked this story, check our PickUp 101's upcoming video interview series, He Said/She Said, where we sit down with the guy and the girl and hear the story of a pickup from both sides.

Top 10: Ways To Make Her Remember You

If you want to be successful with women, it’s critical that you STAND OUT from other guys... and make a woman remember you. Unfortunately, 99% of men do the exact same things when trying to meet women... so they are forgotten about almost instantly. Use these tips to separate yourself from the pack and let her know that you are her BEST possible choice.

Number 10: Start a stimulating conversation

Most guys make the classic mistake of talking about BORING and PREDICTABLE topics on dates. "What do you do?"... "Where do you live?"... "Do you have brothers and sisters?"... These are all questions that do NOTHING to separate you from all the other guys she's dated. It's far better to think of topics that would actually be FUN and INTERESTING to talk about.

Humans -- and women in particular -- love to talk about drama, comedy, adventure, and scandal. With this in mind, try teaming up with her and playing “psychology experts” with society. Guess what's going on with another couple nearby... or discuss some current celebrity gossip. Women find this stuff FASCINATING... and it will make her find YOU exciting.

Number 9: Be "Cocky & Funny"

There's a magical formula that's like CRACK for attraction, and it's called "Cocky & Funny." The secret is to have both arrogance and humor in just the right amounts and you'll drive women absolutely CRAZY for you. But you want a balance of both. Too much cocky, you'll seem arrogant and insecure. Too funny, and you'll come across as goofy. Instead, start off by coming up with an arrogant statement, and then say it in a funny way.

For example, "That girl has a big butt" becomes "J-Lo is in the house." Use this formula when you're with a particularly attractive woman, and not only will it help you laugh and relax, but you'll spark that magical feeling of attraction deep inside her.

Number 8: Work on your beliefs

Most men don't know this, but one of the best things you can do to make a woman remember you is to work on your BELIEFS. What a man believes about himself, and about women, is SO powerful that if you don't have the right beliefs, no amount of techniques, pickup lines, or "moves" is going to help make you memorable to her.

One way to rewire your brain so you believe positive things is to repeat silently to yourself: "I don't let women use their looks to get special privileges with me," or "I'm a confident guy and could care less what others think," or even "I live in my reality, and she's a guest." When you start to honestly believe powerful things about yourself and your relationship with women, your success will SKYROCKET.

Number 7: Do you want to be a lover or a provider?

Most men don’t realize that when a woman meets a man who could be a potential mate, she subconsciously categorizes him as either a “Lover” or a “Provider.” The “Lovers” are the men she is intimate with, and the “Providers” -- you guessed it -- are the men she sees as being good providers for her and her future children. We could talk about why women categorize men this way all day long, but for now let’s just talk about why a woman will put a man into one category versus another.

If you show a strong command of body language, sexual awareness and confidence, then she'll feel instant ATTRACTION and see you as a Lover. But try to win her affection with attention, compliments, dinners, gifts, and other favors, and she will see you as a Provider. When it comes to the “dating game,” Lovers are pursued and Providers do the pursuing.

If she sees you as a Provider, a woman will withhold sex, play hard to get and test you to see how good of a provider you'll be. If she sees you as a Lover, she’ll have a tendency to get physically involved with you very quickly, and YOU will be in control of where the relationship goes. Now... which guy do YOU want to be?

Number 6: Start the date at your place

The secret to getting a woman back to your place starts way BEFORE the date or meeting. On the phone you can say, "Why don't you just stop by my place, ring the bell and we can leave... I know a great coffee shop down the street." When she shows up, let her in for just a minute... then quickly leave. This sets up in her mind that you're not needy or trying to take advantage of the fact that she's in your house.

When you're out with her, make it a point to NOT get too "touchy feely" and she'll feel even more comfortable with you. When you go back to your house to drop her off, look at your watch and say "Well, I have some things I need to do... but OK, you can come in for a few minutes..." Use a tone of voice that says "You talked me into it," and she'll feel comfortable and compelled to check out your pad... and hopefully more.

Number 5: Never whine about the following things...

A sure way to KILL the attraction a woman is feeling for you is to WHINE. So never complain, whine or even mention: being single... being lonely... having bad luck with women... how long it's been since you've had a date... etc. You may think that putting yourself down or being "honest" about your situation will help her open up to you, but all it'll do is turn her OFF... and make her turn to the waiter and say, "Check please!"

Number 4: Ask direct questions by acting suspicious

Most men have a lot of anxiety about asking certain questions that are "taboo." But if you want to ask a woman her age, if she's single, or any other "not usually asked directly" type of question... just use a somewhat suspicious, direct tone. Put your eyebrows together, lean your head back slightly, and in a tone that says "I suspect something..." ask your question quickly and directly.

You can get almost any question answered if you seem like she's acting suspicious, and you're trying to get to the bottom of the issue. You'll be blown away -- women will answer any type of question -- from how old they are all the way to if they're bisexual or not -- right at the beginning of a conversation with this technique.

Number 3: Prime the pump

Some guys ask, "How am I supposed to play hard to get and act like she's picking up on me, when I don't even know if she likes me?" The answer is to "Prime the pump." Give things a little push by interpreting her comments and behaviors as signs that she is coming on to you, and then resist them.

When she does anything that could be interpreted as showing interest in you, say "You're moving kind of fast for me," or "I don't think this relationship is going to work out" in an over-the-top, teasing sort of way. Or if you want to tell her you like her, turn it around instead and say, "You like me," with a smirk on your face. Don't be afraid to provide that initial spark or spin that gets things headed in the direction YOU want.

Number 2: Hold her hand

Holding hands early on makes a woman feel safe and it warms her up to you. While you're holding hands, why not try reading her palm in a creative, funny way... as you lightly brush your finger tips across it. Or massage her hand a little while saying, "This will help you relax." After you hold her hand, give it back to her, then start up again. This way she'll feel more comfortable with your touch... she'll look forward to it later.

Number 1: End it right

Many guys do an OK job of being cool on a date, but they end up blowing it BIG TIME at the end by turning into a wussy... acting needy... or just freaking out. Don't make this mistake yourself. Always be the one to end your time together. Have something to do, somewhere to go, someone to see, etc. Say to her: "Now don't call me three times a day... I had fun too, but no stalking." Or tell her: "I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt me with a good enough offer, I might make time for you the next night..."

For more great tips on making a woman remember you, getting phone numbers and e-mail addresses from women quickly, for great, inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily, be sure to sign up for my FREE Dating Secrets Newsletter - Click Here.

Malaga & Marbella, Spain

Guys I've booked a weeklong New Years trip to Malaga and Marbella in Spain. Looking forward to experiencing my first trip to Europe. Most of my time will be spent with my nephews and neices, but hopefully I'll sneak in some Spainish love. If any of you have been there, let me know what to expect!

D

How To Attract A Gorgeous Actress (and Mom)

Senior Instructor Daniel is taking the PickUp 101 Girl of the Day challenge to new levels, as this field report from an Art of Attraction weekend shows. The Girl of the Day challenge is a simple, and wicked idea. Every day, you have to approach the hottest girl you see. There are no excuses allowed. Doesn't matter if she's with a man, 2 men, 12 men, her dad, her grandparents, a dog and a monkey and a pet lemur, or driving thru high-speed traffic on her moped. No excuses. She's the girl of the day.

Read what Daniel did when he saw her.

I started off the day pretty lazy. I knew that we were doing a workshop that night and I'd be sure to meet some hotties. So, I didn't even bother looking all day.

It wasn't the best idea, however, since it put a lot of pressure on the evening to pay off. And when I first arrived in the Marina, I wasn't opening anybody. I saw girls right and left and kept saying "oh... there'll be hotter." But, man hotter's gotta come eventually. Can't fight the inevitable.

And, then it all went down when I walked into Mel's Diner. I was waiting for a table when I saw a STUNNING blond. !#@* drop dead gorgous. The guys who were there will back me up on this.

She's eating with two older women (mom and auntie as it turns out).

No hesitation. I must go!

"Hey guys, is the food any good here?" I ask.

Then I bust on them, whatever they said. I don't really remember that much.

"Hey, are you mom and daughter?"

"Yes."

"Wow, you're daughter is really cute." I say to the mom.

Mom proudly replies, "Yeah, we just watched her debut in her first movie! It's not coming out for another couple months, but we were at the screening."

"Wow, congratulations. Sounds like fun." I replied. Still talking to the whole group... not going to isolate on the cutie just yet. There's no need. Her mom loves me.

I keep talking about god knows what. This and that.

Eventually the girl asks me: "So where do you go to school?" Whoa! ... That's a blast from the past.

I tell her quite bluntly that I'm 28. She's cool with it. I ask her where she goes to school. She says UC Berkeley! Holy !#@*... that's my school!

I say "Go Bears" and she lights up. I have her guess what my major was and she's very close - says molecular biology. I say "No, Chemistry."

I ask her and she says that she's just a Freshman. Sherlock Holmes would easily deduce that she must therefore be 18 years old (plus or minus a year). Holy !#@* again!

I keep bantering and flirting with the girl and with her mom and auntie. I work the whole table while they wait for food. Actually, her mom and auntie were way cool. I even asked if she would be my auntie too.

Eventually, I ask the girl: "So, do you come out to San Francisco often?"

She says yes.

Cool. I say "We're throwing a Party and you should join us." (had to give a little reason there so that it all looked kosher for the parents.)

She's way into it. I tell her to give me her email (so that I'll put her on the guest list). She says "give me your number." And brothers... she said it in a good way. Like "Give me your number!"

I take her phone and dial my number and call my phone.

I talk a little more and their food arrives and I say goodbye.

As she's leaving the restaurant, I smile and wave at Auntie. She smiles and waves back, which catches the eye of my hottie. So, the hottie turns and waves and then mouths the words to me across the restaurant. "Call me!"

Wow... this girl was loving it!

So, out of 4 days, I've got two mom daughter sets. Guess that's my calling in life.

This girl is by far the hottest yet. I got home and googled her and the first listing for her name is her imdb profile. I'll say no more. Eighteen year old actress/slash/UC Berkeley Business student.