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Reader Question with Answer: How To Prevent Those Frustrating Flakes


posted by Donovan at 8:25 AM

Prevention is better than a cure right? Read on...

Question and Answer Hey there!

I have a buddy (no really) who can number close but then has trouble organising a second meeting with the girl. For example, he number closed this one girl who worked at a cafe, waited a couple of days, called her up, got her laughing on the phone, etc. but didn't arrange a meeting, called her up a second time at which point she said she was busy and asked him to call at 9pm the next day, so he did but she didn't answer.

He goes over to the cafe where he first met her to speak to a friend of his who was working there, bumped into her, struck up another conversation, got her laughing, etc. again, and then was on his way out when she said 'hey we were supposed to go out', so he asks if she is free on a couple of days and she says no (you know, Question and Answerone of those 'you free on X day' 'no', 'you free on Y day''no'), so he says 'I'll tell you what, when you're free you call me' she says OK. Anyhoo, she doesn't call for a few days, so he sends her a text, and she doesn't reply. Advice?

Such a common common problem that we've all dealt with at some point throughout this journey of pickup. Glad to know it's your "buddy" and that you'd never have any such problem.

You may have heard about David DeAngelo's 3-minute email and phone number technique. It's a great tool for guys new to pickup to practice. It will give you a huge boost of confidence, especially if you haven't gotten many numbers from beautiful women in the past, and it's remarkably easy (after the first time). The main issue I have with the 3-minute phone number technique that David DeAngelo promotes, is that it doesn't build enough rapport and comfort, and those numbers flake out 98% (unless you're a male model).

Comfort and rapport are both heavily ESSENTIAL for a non-flaking day2. (Day 2 is simply a term for another meetup after the initial meeting, usually isolated with the woman)

From Magic Bullets ebook

This is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes - not enough comfort. Thus, it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads. When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how she enjoys talking with you and looks forward to doing so again.

The reason for flakes is that she doesn't feel any distinct difference between other men and you. I mean seriously, you asked for her number, and you expect a beautiful woman to simply say "That guy had the BALLS to get my number, I'll give up my valuable time!"

You need to change that into, "I felt we had a good connection, he didn't pressure me or make me feel awkward. I think I'll give him a chance, and I'll see where this goes!"

I started running my game recently to include a deeper level of rapport, and compatibility after I ran my attraction routines. Women RETURN calls, they RETURN text messages, they RETURN to have dates with you.

How do you generate this strong rapport and comfort?

You can try some quick cold reading, grounding routines, even palm reading or handwriting analysis. Something in order for her to feel that you have built rapport and comfort. Although, if you build rapport and comfort right off the bat, it will only hurt you. You could be placed into the friendship hole. You defintely don't want that.

Generate attraction first, then comfort. If you haven't read the Magic Bullets ebook (Mystery Method), I urge you to do so immediately. It outlines the step-by-step method for seduction from meeting through to an intimate relationship. I've previously posted an entire outline to the Mystery Method here.

If you want answers to your questions, simply email me, attractionchronicles @


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posted by Donovan at 8:25 AM Dating Advice for Men


Anonymous Automatic said...

This is an issue I've had to deal with quite often. Over time, I came to develop a certain perspective on it.

I started out with David DeAngelo's stuff and what I believe now is that the main reason why the 3-minute Email technique is so appealing is because most newbies to the game are not good conversationalists yet. Furthermore, you're preoccupied with objectives (getting the contact info, setting up a meeting, etc.) when first learning pickup. It is usually because of a new guys' social inexperience that he can't relax enough and detach himself from the outcome of the interaction in order to have fun while building a connection with a woman.

The 3-minute technique is quick. It's easy. Most importantly, it seems LESS RISKY to new guys...who still fear rejection at their stage of development.

My problem with comfort/rapport was the language that concept is described in, which made me feel like I had to spare more time than I could to make it happen. Yet the 3-minute technique was too short for any real connection to be made.

So I simplified the whole mess.

I stopped thinking about this in terms of comfort or rapport and assumed the mindset of just making sure any few minutes I had with a woman would be some of the most MEMORABLE few minutes of interaction she'll ever have. Then I casually ask if she has Email and hand her a pen with paper, David DeAngelo style (by the way, this is what I think the real strength of the 3-minute technique SHOULD BE...the way you request her contact info being very direct, simple, unassuming, pressure-free, and it doesn't make your interest in her too overt).

Obviously, generating attraction quickly should be second-nature by this point because creating a "memorable few minutes" requires you to squeeze in that chemistry along with comfort and rapport within only minutes.

It's a difficult idea to implement at first, but I'm successful with it. Women always remember the first encounters they have with me...even if an interaction was merely 5 minutes.

A good metaphor for what I'm talking about is in The Karate Kid when Mr. Miyagi is teaching Daniel the secret to powerful punches:

"The secret to make power of WHOLE BODY fit in ONE INCH."

10:50 PM, May 17, 2006  
Blogger Pastiche said...

awesome automatic! i like your "memorable few minutes" concept. it gives greater meaning to the attract + rapport process and simplifies it at the same time. and well, i'm a HUGE advocate of the K.I.S.S. rule. anyway, thanks for sharing bro.


10:56 PM, May 23, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Those are some awesome points!

10:59 PM, May 23, 2006  

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