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posted by Donovan at 3:16 PM

The problem with most of the community is the idea of being "alpha". I had a friend in New York City that was too alpha. Here are some signs that you are acting too alpha (which is actually NOT alpha at all). I was talking to Style the other day (Neil Strauss) and we realized that one of the biggest downfalls of the community is the tendenacy for guys to have this problem of being TOO alpha.

1. Talking over people during a normal conversation
2. Never compromising in conversation (Your always right)
3. Making statements that really have no real reason to be in the conversation (Eg. overty DHVing which actually hurts your chances more)
4. Too MUCH cocky and funny (Too many statements of cocky and funny turn you into a loser that's supplicating)

All of these problems come from a single source: a lack of calibration. Not toning down the conversation, or revving up the conversation when it needs to be. Being cocky when you needed to be sincere.

Lets work on this guys.


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posted by Donovan at 3:16 PM Dating Advice for Men


Anonymous Automatic said...

Putting it in terms of working an external system and using routine-based jargon is not how I view this, personally.

Once you're comfortable with your own reality and at ease with asserting that reality, you'll be fine. As long as you feel honest and natural about whatever you do, your communication won't become some sort of compensation for insecurity.

We both could be saying the same thing in different ways, but if we're not, it doesn't matter.

Everyone is different.

4:55 PM, September 25, 2006  
Anonymous petemoraites said...


2:11 AM, September 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Alpha in a group is the one everybody is talking to, not the one doing all of the talking.

6:51 PM, October 02, 2006  

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