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Teaching Men The Art of Flirting

4.10.2006

posted by Donovan at 10:36 AM

by Christina Shovlin 2005.

Guys who find themselves unlucky in love have a new opportunity to learn how to meet and attract women. Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts), hosted by Wayne Elise, who also goes by the nickname "Juggler," is out to teach men how to approach women and find a date.

Similar to the new movie "Hitch," in which Will Smith plays a dating coach, Wayne goes with clients to meet women.

"The seminars are in a classroom setting," Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) business manager John Henson said. "While in workshops, guys go out with Wayne and approach women, and afterwards Wayne critiques them. We offer workshops, seminars, and even boot camp. Most guys don't come here wanting a girlfriend, they just want to have the ability to get a girlfriend if they wanted to. You want to be in a relationship because you want to be in it, not because you need to be in it."

Many men may look to the program as a way to overcome shyness, or simply to enhance one's overall social skills.

"I know a few guys, myself included, that are shy," FSU freshman Eugene Holley said. "I don't know how to approach females. I think it's a good idea."

Henson emphasized that most of the Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) clients are not psychologically handicapped; they're simply really shy.

According to Henson, the unique idea for this company started because there is a community of guys on the Internet who want to know how to meet and seduce women. A major belief of the company is that a person can't be good with women if they aren't good with people.

"You need to see everyone as a friend first," Henson said. "Our theory is that if you become more confident and have a good flow of conversation, you'll be able to meet women. It's about the approach and getting over the fear of talking to each other."

Some may wonder how a company such as Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) came to be.

"There is a demand for it, so that's why it exists," FSU sophomore Teddy Wohlford said. "I wouldn't use it personally because I don't have a problem with it, but if I find myself struggling, I would. For guys who (are) socially awkward, and trying to date, it could help."

There is a growing demand for this service.

"The market is about to explode," Henson said. "The 'Hitch' movie is coming out and Neil Strauss of Rolling Stone is releasing a book called "The Game." There are people from all over the world interested in this. In March, we're going to Australia."

Clients range in age from 18 to about 42, but some are older. A personal workshop costs $700, while a workshop with two people costs $600. The boot camp, however, costs $1600 for the weekend.

"It's not trickery, it teaches basic flirty language," Henson said. "Clients who come usually find this to be a long-term problem. It's not psychological. They find themselves being clingy in relationships and afraid to go out (to meet new people) by themselves. They've gotten shot down before. Some guys by their early 20s who aren't popular or successful with women realize that they need to get this part of their life settled."

Some women have expressed concern over the intentions of the company.

"I think it's kind of fake and insincere," FSU sophomore Melissa Wallace said. "It's kind of cheesy. It's sweet that he's making the effort, but it means more if it comes from his own head."

Others contend that what doesn't come naturally shouldn't come at all.

"If you don't know how to approach them on your own then you shouldn't be approaching them," FSU junior Keondra Mincy said. "It's unnecessary. Use your own tactics. If they don't appreciate you, then that's not a person you should be dating."

So far the Juggler does not have a program set up for women to meet men, but it is a future possibility. The company is also releasing DVD's that will help men learn how to flirt.

"It's about learning how to meet and attract women. There is a psychological element to it," Henson said.

The company can be contacted online at Charisma Arts.

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posted by Donovan at 10:36 AM Dating Advice for Men

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I think it's kind of fake and insincere," FSU sophomore Melissa Wallace said. "It's kind of cheesy. It's sweet that he's making the effort, but it means more if it comes from his own head."

"If you don't know how to approach them on your own then you shouldn't be approaching them," FSU junior Keondra Mincy said. "It's unnecessary. Use your own tactics. If they don't appreciate you, then that's not a person you should be dating."

This is exactly the kind of attitude that is one of the biggest reasons why 99% of men struggle with limiting beliefs when it comes to dating. When you have women saying things like the above two quotes, they're basically communicating:

1. If you don't somehow magically know what to do since birth, then you're a loser.

2. You will eventually meet a woman (unattractive consolation prize with boring personality) that will give attention to losers like you who don't know what to do.

It's truly unfortunate.

5:04 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger and brains too said...

No one knows magically from birth how to be attractive and flirty. Men growing up with the benefit of sisters have a lot more insight into what girls like and vice versa for women with brothers. Initial attraction is not an exact science. Being flirty and confident can be instinctive or learned. For a naturally shy person, this program may be the way to go. Something like this doesn't change the makeup of your true personality. Your true self will always shine through, but first the guy has to get over the hurdle of saying Hello to the girl.

I don't know any women that like shy men. Whether a woman is plain or pretty, ditsy or brainy, young or old - she wants to 'KNOW' a guy is interested, not wonder. If the shy ones never get out of the starting gate how will you ever find out if there was something there or not? Meanwhile the confident ones always get the girl. Nothing wrong with leveling the playing field a little bit. One shy guy took three months of borderline stalking to get up the nerve to introduce himself and ask me for my number. Let's just say that I was VERY VERY happy that he did. My only complaint: I wish he had been less shy and asked me out sooner.

9:32 AM, April 12, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Great points, it brings up an important point that the majority of culture seems to miss - is that social skills aren't natural, they're learnt.

10:38 AM, April 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just can't believe that in this day and age of society when many women, if not the majority, are very strong and independent etc... that they still do not have to shoulder this burden. Its long past due that women also be tasked by society to approach men as well. They have it way too easy with regard to this little facet of dating. In the Metro area where I live and work, most to all of the women are powerful, independent, social, and aggressive. They have to be. But they are in turn extremely intimadating to approach, esp. by shy males, who could have been very good 'catches'. Women enjoy this luxury of always being the one to be approached far too much these days. And yes ladies, its a luxury. I don't care what you say.

Its high time that society begin to recognize that women too can/must make an effort to ask men out more often. The one reference in a previous response of the fact that 99% of men these days struggle with how to date, is unacceptable in this day and age. Actually women should also be struggling with how to ask men out. Maybe women do struggle with the concept, but they're not expected by society to do so and so they have an out. I know women give off signals to be approached etc., but its not the same. Putting your integrity on the line and doing the actual approaching is entirely different and far more extreme.

I'm sorry and not to repeat myself but I'm just amazed that society still dictates that men must be the only ones to chance being slayed in the dating arena while women can just sit back and have the luxury of being approached and also, to do the slaying. No Fair! Wow, I'd love to be approached for a change. Its never happened. Anyway, and don't get me wrong, I love you ladies immensely. You are far better than we males in almost every way. But you could try a bit harder collectively, at making first moves. Trust me in that guys (at least most of us) would totally love it !!!

2:36 PM, August 15, 2006  
Blogger Donovan said...

Thankyou for contributing.

I think you're frame might be wrong, or you're looking at it the wrong way.

Perhaps, women are giving you indicators to approach them but subtly. This is how women do it, and it won't change anytime soon. Unforuntely. :(

3:20 PM, August 15, 2006  

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