9.28.2006posted by Donovan at 1:30 PM
I loved this email from Lance today. Awesome.
"What do I *really* look for in a guy?"
K. is 19. Hot. I mean, walk-down-the-street and cars veer off the road hot. And she enjoys it. She's the kind of young girl that makes men happy just to look at.
She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the hotties really after?
"Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets your attention?"
She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.
"You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy... with nice shoes."
"You have any idea how hard that is to find?" she asked. "If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in San Francisco. Yep. That's the top of the mountain right there."
Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You'd really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or have 20 minutes of great stories with famous people, or be famous people.
Or fight dragons and breathe fire, or something.
Normal guy. Nice shoes? That's it? Anyone can do that, right?
Well, yes and no.
See, when it comes to attracting women, lots of guys think it's really hard. You know, you've got to get everything just right and basically "trick" her into thinking you're attractive long enough to get what you want.
Well, that's the way little boys think, anyways.
The truth is, as men know, that attracting women is either easy, or next-to-impossible.
If you have the attractive traits that women look for, it's easy. But if you don't, you can work and work and work, but you'll never get the choice with women you want.
See, girls live in a different world than we do. It's nice there... it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. But it has a lot to do with fashion.
Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.
A hottie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately thinks of you as a giant Ken doll she can dress up and take places and show off to her friends.
And if you don't look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can't take a chance on you.
She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That's how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why?
Because then you will understand her.
Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what's important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that's already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can
move right in and start showing it off to their friends.
And there's one other little secret about shoes that NO ONE else knows, but I'll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.
She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are.
Here, there, and everywhere.
Yes, she's thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she's also thinking "will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?"
Guess which one she's gonna pick if you're wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?
So what to do?
If you don't know fashion, start asking. You don't have to be Project Runway-level expert,
but you can't make mistakes.
And every guy makes them. I used to. And it wasn't until I put out my Dress For Success Program and actually taped the process of making over 5 guys that I saw how far I'd come.
I took all my years of experience and put it into this one DVD set so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.
If you don't know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.
After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy.
And you know the first thing she's looking at, and it's not your big... bank account.
Now, get out there and meet some women!
posted by Donovan at 1:30 PM Dating Advice for Men