Do You Doubt Social Proof?
6.14.2006
posted by Donovan at 11:02 AMFor all those guys who think its about looks, and that's what is stopping them from being successful with women. Well, look at James Blunt with... Petra Nemcova (The supermodel). Guys this dude ain't goodlooking by any standard. Sorry James.
So he's a celebrity?
Yeah. It proves a point that Mystery has talked since way back when.
Called Social Proof.
Basically, PRESELECTION.
If other women want you, the more women want you.
Read about the Mystery Method and why and how it teaches you to convey PRESELECTION.
posted by Donovan at 11:02 AM Dating Advice for Men
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8 Comments:
I don't doubt it, but I know you don't need it.
There are even more powerful ways to generate attraction than social proof.
That's a start, but once you have it really down, you don't need to have women around to get more women. This guy is a musician. Musicians get girls because they are creative and passionate, and because they have irrational faith in themselves. That is the projection of confidence that attracts a girl like Petra.
I plan on talking about this at Cliffslist this summer with the story of how I walked alone through a packed strip club in Vegas on a Saturday night and used nothing but a look, my physical confidence, and just a little teasing to pull the hottest girl there off the stage and make her my girlfriend.
You can't compare a stripper to a supermodel and you can't compare a musician to a top-selling recording artist. You can't compare confidence to confidence plus fame and money.
However I see your point that most guys should work on confidence because that is easier to achieve than money and fame.
- You can't compare a stripper to a supermodel
I agree. Most strippers are way sexier. Although Petra is cute for a giant girl... what can I say, I don't like 'em 6 feet tall and bone thin. :-)
There may be a difference between confidence vs. confidence plus fame plus money. But I'll say this: confidence trumps all. If you have it, you don't need anything else. It won't hurt to have the other things, but you don't need them.
I know a lot of guys with money and a lot of guys with fame who are really unhappy with their choices with women. But every guy I know who is, for lack of a better phrase, irrationally confident (meaning, he's more confident than you think logically he would be) is very happy with the women in his life.
So that's all I need to know.
Strippers are sexier if you prefer a chick who is uneducated, a single parent, works a dead-end job, a substance abuser, emotionally unstable, and has no money left at the end of the week.
No, confidence does not trump all. Wealth and fame trumps all.
You cannot fake a home in the Hollywood Hills, a Ferrari, personal assistants, groupies, and not having to work a day in your life, unless you are an illusionist like Mystery :). However the average AFC can FAKE confidence if necessary.
Which is why I agree that the average AFC should forget about wealth and fame and go for confidence. He may not get supermodels but he should be more than happy if he gets strippers and such with his confidence.
This is a great conversation, because it makes me think about the things I *think* I know.
IME, wealth and fame are an advantage because they get you availability. But past that, you still need confidence to get the girl. It's like the wealth and fame get you in the door and get you the job interview, whereas other more qualified guys may not be able to get in the building, but you still need to have the stuff.
With few gold-digging exceptions (and these are not the girls anyone really wants anyways), girls look for confidence much more than fame or wealth. They will always take a guy who makes them feel good over a guy who can give them stuff or get them in places. Now, if getting stuff or getting in places makes her feel good, then that counts.
But there's a reason Bill Gates was never a super-pimp. There's a reason Paul Allen isn't crying "would someone tell these ho's to back the f* off!"
And there's a reason Kevin Federline got Britney (before she turned into the white-trash barefoot momma we all feared as kids).
Why? He had no money. No fame. No career. Two kids with another woman.
But he had CONFIDENCE. Still does. Call him an asshole if you want, but you got to respect the game. He got the girl every guy in America wanted, and turned her into his sugar momma.
And all because he had availability (he met her at a club where they had a friend in common), and total, stupid confidence. Not fake confidence.
That's my theory.
And btw, exotic dancers may tend to be crazy, but until you date some models, don't be so sure they represent the paragon of sanity and stability either. I've dated some, and have to say, that job may create the most unstable people I've ever met. Just take a look at Kate Moss.
And I'm still sticking with my assertion that supermodels are way too thin, and don't really do it for me. Except for Adriana Lima, I can't name one who's got any kind of booty that provides the kind of padding a man like me looks for in a girl. :-)
Give me the curves any day, playa!
Great postings.
Just my 2 cents. Confidence can get you hot babes even when you're a nobody.
I was able to pull a hot babe who was married to a well known actor. She was about 20 years younger than her husband.
I approached the couple and said, "Hey."
That's all it took.
Next thing I know the SHW (super hot wife) started talking to me, discreetly touching me and then she gave me her email while her hubby was a few feet away.
It took a few seconds to realize what was going on and when I did, I was like WTF?
Anyway, I didn't follow thru cause, I don't get involved with a married woman. But damn she was hot.
So... in my humble opinion, you can go a long way with confidence.
BTW, I am not rich, or good looking, just an average t-shirt and jeans guy with tons of confidence.
I'm with sean.
This isn't as much about social proof as it is about his identity. Who he is.
Social proof is great, it builds attraction. But it doesn't get you through relationships.
There's something about James Blunt that Petra finds incredibly sexy...and gasp..it might just be his personality..
I dont doubt personality is MOST important, if I did, I wouldn't have a chance with any girl.
However, in this case, we shall see how long it lasts. I think the attraction was because of his social proof... If it ends quickly it should prove that it was mostly because of social proofing :) EVERY girl loves this guy's lame song.
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