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How To Talk To Women On The Phone


posted by Donovan at 1:13 PM

Wayne Elise
Wayne Elise's (Juggler) Phone Guidelines

Esquire Magazine Article by Neil Strauss
Below is a heavily expanded article on the same topic Juggler wrote for Esquire magazine.

This will help some guys who have difficulties when they talk to women on the telephone. People with very different styles from mine may not consider this useful, but for most this should help.

1. No matter who answers the phone announce who you are, "Hi this is Juggler. Is Katie there?"

This shows you are proud and confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later.

(By the way meeting a girl with her parents is a very good situation. I use my parents routine which many times has gotten the folks pushing their daughter into my arms)

2. If Katie is not there, chat up the person on the phone. "So what's your name? I'm not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?" etc..

If this person asks to take a message after you ask for Katie, ignore it and ask who they are and begin to charm them.

Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person's time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice.

I do not subscribe to the belief that you need to be the first to end the conversation. As long as you are being charming do not be quick to let this person go. Having said that, try to keep it to about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. Many ASF people read way too much into what is alpha, supplication and all that. If you are being interesting it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if you have run out of material end the conversation.

I can not over-emphasize the worth of getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier.

2b. Try getting off the telephone without leaving a message. The best way is to just say something like, "Pleasure chatting with you XXXXX. Bye." If she asks to take a message at this point just say, "Thanks but no message."

Of course Katie will hear you called but there will be a little mystery.

3. Okay, you get Katie on the phone.

  • Do not ask her if she is busy.
  • Do not ask her what she is doing.
  • Do not remind her where she met you.
  • Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap.
  • Talk slowly and confidently.

"Hi Katie. This is Juggler. You would not believe what my niece did yesterday."

Or "Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way..."

Do not expect a 50-50 conversation. At least not at first. You will have to give it alot of momentum. Go right into material. (I define material as a funny story, patterns, an addendum to the conversation you had when you met the girl - whatever works for you.)

4. Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Slow down your delivery and put sensualness in your voice. DO NOT think about the close. Work to re-attract her.

5. After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Almost an afterthought. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact - hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, "Let's get together this week." Then shut up.

She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you. I don't want to make this post so long by typing up the details of why it is important for you to hear her schedule first or let her suggest times first. If someone really wants the breakdown on this let me know and I will post.

Some guys may think accommodating her schedule is supplicant. Maybe. Heck if I know. What is alpha, what's not alpha... Guys make themselves crazy thinking about that stuff. I just know my flaking is virtually nil.

6. If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn't even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, "Let's go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes."

If that still doesn't work just say, "Nice chatting with you." and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls.

7. In practice, if you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Sometimes I'll just keep talking material and try not to arrange a meet. She brings it up a meet and I will just keep talking material. I like to do seemingly counter-productive stuff like that just to wallow in how effective good material is.

Always work on her mood. As an example, a couple weeks ago, I called this girl to re-confirm our meet. She had cancelled on me before. From the tone of her first few words I knew she was planning on canceling on me again. But I never gave her the chance. Went right into good material. Steam rolled her into a mood of laughing and fun. Her mind was then changed to, "This guy is making me laugh. I guess I'll give him a shot." I re-confirmed in a very casual way.
We met up that night and she ended up sleeping over. I have since lost her. Too bad she was really a sweet girl. But that is another post.

One last word. In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood.



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posted by Donovan at 1:13 PM Dating Advice for Men


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has been my experince that this routine rarely works on girls not named "Katie".


7:45 AM, August 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's great that human communication has been broken down into "rules". But notice, running out of material is the worst thing that possibly can happen. The girl on the phone, or anywhere else, will never get to know the real guy, who doesn't practice lines but think and act for himself. A guy who can't talk to a woman in normal ways has to think of a way to quickly end the conversation when he's running out of material. If a guy is looking for a seroius relationship, he will later on have trouble with the girls' twisting mind as he opens himself. It's pathetic to use a guide to get in touch with people. The real tool is to have reason for the confidence about oneself.

6:02 AM, January 06, 2007  
Blogger Ryan said...

Well, I completely agree. And as to the post above, I half agree. But the thing is, you can't teach someone to be confident in themselves, but you can even train a monkey to communicate.

12:15 AM, April 14, 2007  
Anonymous Xandiro said...

I would be stunned if anyone tried to maintain a lasting relationship based on PUA rules. That is of course, unless the girl was completely stupid.

10:26 AM, June 03, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you guys (above comments) are getting this wrong. the point of material, imho, is not about being someone else. everyone has material. think about yourself. there's at least 3 good stories, quirky observations or stupid jokes you tell people all the time. you use them with new friends, you use them with co-workers, you use them at the dentist's office. that's material. does that make you a fake person?

and re: maintaining relationships with PUA rules... that's not what being a PUA is about. the PU means PickUp, so it's about hooking and presenting yourself to a girl you are interested in in the best light. from then on, it's all you.

8:30 AM, October 19, 2007  
Anonymous Allblack said...

I cant remember the last time I read an online comment that broke what PUA means to me so simply. Good to see constructive insight still exists.

Also what is so wrong with having rules or guidelines? They underpin the framework needed to internalise game.

11:05 PM, December 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice... I like the post... Practice makes perfect I guess.

7:39 PM, February 03, 2008  

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