How To Transition To Boyfriend Status
2.02.2006
posted by Donovan at 11:27 AMHow to go from pickup to boyfriend status... my dilemna!
I was curious I'm fairly comfortable with pickup, seduction, but those first 2-3 months seem to be the most essential for getting that high quality girl as your girlfriend.
Any tips on the transition from cocky funny, alpha male, etc through to having her wanting to be your boyfriend? (Obviously you wouldn't remove that from you're game totally) There is a point where it can become too much, or the material runs low.
Strategies, ideas, techniques for the transition from casual relationship to committed relationship?
My thought's are: how do you not start to appear needy, etc and how do you generate that desire in them to start being interested in being your girlfriend. I'm talking 2-3 month period here, after intimacy, after 10-14 hours of hanging out.
Post your comments below!
posted by Donovan at 11:27 AM Dating Advice for Men
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5 Comments:
I'm getting there, I found a great article about creating loyalty in a relationship on Seduction Lair...
Any thoughts?
Your post is interesting. I started to try and answer your question with a long detailed field tactic and I realized something…it starts on the inside and not the outside. After reading your post several times I noticed some other stuff going on, because I have been there and ended up in relationships where I lost all the power or could not get into them.
Here it goes:
Not all women want a relationship. The more together the girl is the stronger her boundaries are.If she does not want one, don’t worry. Continue to have fun or drop her and find someone who is open to a relationship.
OR
You are doing something wrong in the process.
Like David D. says, ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. I think your frame may be off based your post. I know my frame has been off many painful times over. If you do everything right from the beginning, she should be the one trying to push you into a relationship because she has no choice. She cannot let you get away.
“How to go from pickup to boyfriend status... my dilemna!”
You should constantly be displaying your higher/S&R value because it is who you are. It starts at the first interaction. If you keep your power and stay in control then the transition is your choice. If you have DHVd, created an emotional connection, an awesome physical connection, and are interesting and interested she will do everything to try and get you into a relationship.
“Any tips on the transition from cocky funny, alpha male, etc through to having her wanting to be your boyfriend?”
There is no transition. You will never run out of material if it is who you are instead of something you do. The more time you spend with someone the less you (and the other person) can “act” and the “inner” person will come out. YOU ARE ALPHA, YOU ARE C&F, YOU ARE THE PRIZE and she should work her ass off to be YOUR girlfriend.
Frame – Do you want to be A boyfriend OR do you want her to be your girlfriend? When you come from a place of wanting to be something, instead of being it, you sub-communicate neediness/insecurity and all the C&F and negging in the world will not help, because at the core level you will be incongruent.
My tactic. This has worked for me if I have done everything up to the relationship tipping point properly.
Plant the seed and let it work for you instead of you working for it.
Spend more time with her. Commit to growing the relationship, but do not be attached to what happens. When you become focused on a specific outcome the less likely that outcome will become reality. As you spend more time with her be prepared for her tests. If she is attractive and has everything together she knows what she is doing. She is being casual and KNOWS to not be needy/clingy. But, as the interactions become more frequent, and you remain congruent, be prepared for her to start throwing out “relationship” tests... or relationship IOIs.
- This guy at the gym keeps talking to me…
- My exboyfriend called me the other day…
These questions and a myriad of others are meant to test the boundaries. When these start popping up, sit back and drive the boat because you are in control. Use the frame of her trying to get you into a relationship. Call her bullshit because she is really trying to communicate something else.
When you are ready - and a relationship is what YOU really want - phase shift from C&F and playful to a completely POWERFUL MAN and have a deep conversation. Stare directly in her eyes, do not flinch, and lay down your relationship boundaries (know what they are and do not wing it AND DO NOT COMPROMISE THEM. There are too many women out there to get stuck on one.). Let her know she has displayed qualities (and yes, she can fuck up all the good stuff she has done to this point in an instant), which make you want to spend more time with her. If she gives you any C&F then put the smack down on her and let her know she is ruining it for herself. If you are everything you think you are AND SHE IS OPEN to a relationship it will move naturally.
Think of the Mystery Method and apply it to “picking up” a relationship. A1, A2, A3, except A1 is over, A2 (DHV) has already been done in all the past interactions, and you only need her to qualify herself (A3) as truly worthy of being YOUR GF.
It all starts in the beginning. I immediately tell a girl I will not get into a committed relationship until six months of interacting. In trying to learn the game you are going to fail and need to turn it into a learning lesson. Know when to eject from a relationship and learn. Find out what works for you, because mastery comes from doing.
If you have never heard David DeAngelo’s dating gurus interview with Brent. Get a copy and listen to it over and over and over.
If you understand the core principles, and not the techniques, eventually everything will become natural.
Hope this helps.
Jason S.
Thanks Jason S, profound! Email me!
That was an awesome post. Great tips. Anyone else?
Donovan,
this advice may seem really simple but its the utter truth. If you have attracted the girl through your cocky funny behavior AND you are satisfying her in bed. And I mean giving it to her the way she reallly wants it. You dont ever have to appear needy because she will be all over you. At this point you control where you want it to go, and can take it in any direction you want.
oh my god, do you guys really buy this junk!Anonymous you have some real issues. You are too focused on control to ever have a healthy, happy relationship. Grow up brother!
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