Date Destroying Mistakes Part 1

This was an email from Lance Mason. This one stood out from the bunch, I thought the points were great and easy to follow.

Today I wanted to talk to you about the key mistakes men make on a 'date'. I'm using the word 'date' because that's what most people call it. I often refer to it as a DAY-2 meeting.

A big reason for this is, what most men think of as a 'date', is all wrong. (I explain why in detail on my Everything You Know About Women Is Wrong program.)

Listen, the first 'date' (the day-2) is critical. You did everything right to get her attracted to you, and built enough comfort and rapport for her to actually meet you again (this can be a scary thing for a woman), so you don't want to blow it by screwing up your first date.

Fact is, if a woman shows up by herself to meet you a second time... she WANTS you to seduce her. She wants you to lead her into more and more intimacy. She wants to be 'swept off her feet'!

This is an IMPORTANT POINT for you to realize. She is attracted to you, and she feels a connection with you or she would NOT be there.

Like Hitch says "No woman wakes up and says - God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today."

If she's there, all you need to do is be the man and lead her through the experience, and make sure you don't fuck it up.

So I'm going to go over the most common mistakes that screw guys up during those all
important first hours with a woman.

If all you did from this day forward, is make sure you AVOID making these mistakes, you'll be making a lot of women (and yourself) very happy.


Mistake #1) Not Running Attraction At The Beginning Of The Date

It's essential to remind her why she came to meet you in the first place - you're a sexy guy, and that means confident, funny, and socially aware.

Don't over do it, but if you leave this out two things can happen. First she may question her decision to meet you. and Second, you may slip into your old familiar 'nice guy' patterns which will further kill any attraction she had.

The best attraction material is to use is one or two banter lines. For example, tease her about how her being early shows how much she wants you.

Mistake #2) Not Touching Her Right Away

If you did a good job during the pickup, you touched the girl a fair bit. Don't start over, and don't set yourself up for landing in the friend zone.

As soon as you see her next, give her a hug and perhaps even kiss her on the cheek. Then, keep touching her frequently during the date.

Touch her in the way that lets her know you are comfortable with women, and that brings her into your 'inner circle'.

If #1 and #2 sound a lot like the advice I give you for attraction, there is a solid reason. These skills are not just for meeting women, these are skills for every phase of being with a woman.

This is a KEY LEARNING! Just like a woman will always work to keep you attracted, you must do the same. This is where guys drop the ball in relationships.


Mistake #3) Not Leading - Not Being 'The Man'

Have a plan and a role for her in the plan and instruct her each step of the way.

Don't ever say, "OK," to a request she makes. If she resists, bust on her playfully and stick to your plan. Unless, of course, she's trying to speed things up, in which case you want to be flexible... but still not a wimp.

Don't be an asshole, be firm and playful.

There are so many reasons why this is important, but I'm just going to give you one. Women will tell you that a huge turn off is a guy who doesn't take control on a date. Don't believe me, just ask some women.

There are other good reasons for planning your day-2, some of which should be obvious, such as being near your home when things go well.


Mistake #4) Doing Something That Costs Money

This isn't about being 'cheap'. Spending money drops you into the traditional dating frame.

If you spend money, she'll tend to put up her defenses. This is because she has already experienced so many guys trying to 'buy' her affection.

Most men believe the same society bullshit and think it's how you impress a woman.

If she spends money, it's worse, and you'll both feel very awkward.

Besides, there are so many things you can do that are fun and cost next to nothing. And you can be totally unlike any guy she's ever dated by doing creative and unusual fun things with her.


Mistake #5) Planning Long Dates

Many guys hope to get laid on the first date, and they know from experience that this can take a number of hours so they plan a whole bunch of stuff for the first date.

This also puts pressure on her not unlike spending money.

When you plan a short date and the girl is giving you the right signals, you can always adjust the plan.

Besides, several short dates will get her to bed in less actual invested time than one long date because it will feel much longer to her, and she won't have to explain to her friends that she slept with you on the first date.

During the Art of Rapport workshop, I explain how I have even used a day-2 meeting that was exactly 45 minute long, and would have three to four of those scheduled in one night.

This sets me apart as being so totally different from any other guy she's met, that she wants to know more about me, and will be impatiently waiting for the day-3.

Key Learnings: What you should take away is this... Plan a short date that doesn't cost money and is fun and unique.

And immediately remind her of why she was attracted to you and be sure to touch her right away.

Do this and you'll be way ahead of most men in her eyes.

Look for Part II of this series soon.