Dating Advice for Men

Paul Janka

2008-05-13T15:21:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of this guy Paul Janka from NYC?

Well..here are the videos: Paul Janka on Today Show and Paul Janka on Dr Phil.

Enjoy them, and leave a comment on the blog.

David Deangelo's New Seminar

2008-02-03T12:30:00.001-08:00

David Deangelo has just announced a new live seminar "Man Transformation Program", that is only $1000 to attend. Quite the deal.

Get over to his site and get on his interest list for the event, and get the information as he releases it.

Man Transformation Pre-Interest List

New Site Design

2007-11-13T23:44:00.000-08:00

I've upgraded the new site, and it looks great. Click SEDUCTION to go there!

Seduction

Mind of Mystery

2007-10-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

Mystery has been quiet since his VH1 show, but he's silent for a reason. He's been working on his new coaching program which is now ready for aspiring PUAs everywhere.

Check out "Mind of Mystery".

David Deangelo On Internet Dating

2007-08-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

When I first started learning how to meet women and get dates, the internet was an AMAZING tool for me.

One of the great things about meeting women online is that you can literally do it ANYTIME... from anywhere...

It's also a great place to practice first conversations, Cocky & Funny humor, and escalating from "conversations" to DATES.

If you're interesting in learning more about how to meet women online, then you should take a couple of minutes and check THIS out. Make sure you watch the video clips, by the way...

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/mwo

Let me know what you think.

Talk soon,

David D.

Mysterys The Pickup Artist on VH1

2007-08-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

I've posted about Mystery's new show on VH1 called "The Pickup Artist" over at the new blog. Check it out.

Master The Vibe

2007-06-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

Theres a new conversation learning product that's put out by some of the big names in the seduction community.

Master The Vibe records conversations with women with a hidden mic (with great quality) and records them to a CD with commentary on why it worked, and how you can do it also.

Cool stuff.

Check out Master The Vibe.

Dr Paul Dobransky, Why We Fall In Love

2007-05-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

Just posted up an interview I had with Dr Paul Dobransky on the new blog. Check it out.

Outsourcing Online Dating

2007-05-13T22:23:00.000-07:00

My recent interview with author Tim Ferriss about how he outsourced his online dating was super interesting. Check it out.

Art of Rapport Review

2007-04-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

The Art of Rapport workshop review at my new blog, check out what Magnus of Bristollair said about Pickup101's comfort building workshop.

Seduction Product Reviews

2007-03-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Check out seduction product reviews at my new site.

New Site: Seduction Chronicles

2007-01-25T18:44:00.001-08:00

I'm now posting over at the new domain...

SEDUCTION CHRONICLES

Please point your bookmarks, etc over to the new Seduction Chronicles Blog site.

This site will stay up but no new posts will be here.

One of my first posts there is called "Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines?" which definitely needs your input. Go over there now, and tell me your favorite!

Donovan

Advanced Comfort with Sinn

2007-01-23T20:42:00.000-08:00

I occasionally get free time to check out Sinn's blog. I read one of his amazing posts here.

Sinn writes:

"This is really the most exciting stuff that I've ever run into in the community, if you guys were lucky enough to be in NY for Day game a month ago, or Phoenix, or NY this last weekend you guys have gotten a taste of Advanced Comfort.

How this system came to be was as Future and I have become better friends, I would notice that he was getting reactions from girls unlike ANYTHING I had ever seen before, basically girls fell MADLY in love with him. He also didn't get LMR and converted every day 2. in fact recently he helped me when I was having some problems with HB perfect stripper. The guy's comfort game is better than ANYONE I've seen.

So I started to look at what exactly he was doing and over the course of about 6 months we have backwards engineered comfort to produce THE EXACT SAME RESULTS. It truly is the most powerful system I have ever seen for making woman truly crazy about you. Here's a brief preview, plus a couple of new things I noticed tonight. This system was responsible for 16 lays of mine in late June early July of last year.

1. Passion/Purpose- You must be able to convey to her convincingly that you are a man of a greater purpose. That you are going places she will want to be. You are driven to pursue your life goals and do so without any sort of hesitation. In fact your purpose has driven you to become pre-selected by women, a leader of men and a protector of your loved ones.

2. Seeing her the way she wants to be seen. Every woman has a purpose that she secretly strives to achieve. there is a reason why she does what she does, or doesn't do what she wants to. Find out what this value is and you will be able to give her the most amazing compliments she has ever heard. She needs to feel that you see her, as the person that little girl inside her yearns to be.

3. Hot/Cold. The hot comes in the form of the most amazing compliments she has ever heard, the cold comes in the form of SMALL releases. I.E you are absolutely amazing and whatever you want to be I can see you doing that because of x,y and z. Too bad you're such a douche bag. The key is that you do not tell her that she doesn't have what it takes to be who she wants to become.

4. Future Projections- This is different from future adventure projections, which are silly. These are plans that you are making with her anytime from a week to a year down the road, that show her that you are a man of action and she can come along if she wishes.

5. Emotional Honesty- The second part of future plans, is that EVERYTHING that you say you are going to do, you must do. If she ever feels that you are not truthful, the entire power of Advanced Comfort will be lost as she will not believe that you actually see her that way. She will think you are just trying to get into her pants.

6. Whirlwind Courtship- Advanced comfort breaks the rules of only seeing a woman once a week or talking to her once a day. In fact the more time you log, the more powerful the method is as it is further reinforcing your legitimacy.

7. The feeling that both of you are bound for greatness and you are on the same path. The key to this is to show her that you are going to be someone AMAZING, then ratifying that she can be someone amazing and helping her on her path. pushing her in the right directions the way someone did for you earlier. You guys are on the same path, you just happen to be further along.

This is all based on stuff that Future did naturally that I have backwards engineered. This is the real deal. Technology is morally neutral but if you have an undertanding of this, I implore you guys not to use it the wrong way.

This will become a product and a stand alone seminar soon. But I wanted to get this out of my head while I was thinking about it."

Look out for an amazing interview with Sinn, coming soon once my new blog gets finalized... subscribe to the RSS feed as it will automatically be pointing to the new site!

Donovan

Get "How To Get A Girlfriend" ebook Free

2007-01-21T09:35:00.000-08:00

Stephen over at "How To Get A Girlfriend" is giving one lucky commenter a copy of his bestselling ebook.

Stephen writes:

I’ve been consulting with clients, doing seminars, and releasing updated versions of my products for years. Perhaps you’ve purchased my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend“, or attended one of my seminars, or even just an avid listener of my free weekly podcasts. Either way, I’d love to know what you think of my philosophy and real world teachings.

I’ve decided to “throw fuel on the fire” by giving one lucky commenter a copy of my life changing ebook "How To Get A Girlfriend". “How To Get A Girlfriend” is packed with natural methods for empowering your self-esteem, generating attraction, connecting socially, and surrounding yourself with women that you want to be around.

It’s simple:

Just write a comment below on what you think about my blog, podcasts, and/or “Master Class Series” Emails.

Simply write a comment on your experiences with Stephen's stuff to get the prize!

Donovan

Comment Winner

2007-01-20T22:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the people who commented on my previous post, Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, Whats Your Opinion?

Some guys got on to Ross Jefferies, which was interesting. I will write up a post on the new site for comments on that controversial topic soon.

The winner of the comment contest for a copy of my Blueprint for Inner Game Success report, is Manga27. I think you'll agree his post incorporates "Cocky and Funny".

"D'Angelo makes it easy for the common man. Three minutes before an intense make-out and rub down in a bookstore coffee shop, my new, beautiful 19-year-old brunette friend said:

"If you weren't such a funny guy, you'd be way too cocky for me..."

Two hours later at my place, she found out just how cocky I was. And loved it.

- Dante"

Manga27, email me for download instructions.

IN OTHER NEWS:

I'm migrating to the new site within a few days. I've managed to transfer all the old posts, and comments. What a miracle that was that it went 100% without a hitch. I'm just making post categories, updating links (within posts... ARGH), and doing all the last minute stuff.

Apart from that... I'll let you know when its ready for you're viewing pleasure, and I'll automatically switch the RSS feed, so no updating necessary there. If you haven't subscribed to the RSS feed. COMEON!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheAttractionChroniclesBlog

Donovan

Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, What's Your Opinion?

2007-01-16T15:41:00.000-08:00

Like most of you, I started with David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook. I think I subscribed to his newsletter after searching the topic, "How To Be More Attractive to Women". I downloaded the ebook and was reading for hours. I couldn't believe the plentora of information that this man had accumulated, and that I was now accumulating on this hard topic.

For months, I had been searching for answers to my dating problems. For a while, I over used "cocky and funny", probably for a year. This brought me many more issues. After establishing the context of it, and having researched and experienced loads more methods of attraction building, I realize more and more that the principles taught in David DeAngelo Double Your Dating, were applicable to the modern man. I just hadn't realized it yet.

I'd like to hear your story. I know many of you have had experiences with Double Your Dating. How has Double Your Dating helped you? What would you recommend to others just starting to read Double Your Dating? Any other comments?

What's your experience with David Deangelo, good or bad?

The Attraction Chronicles Blog is moving...

2007-01-13T00:07:00.001-08:00

It's been a great year and a half of articles, interviews, comments, product launches, gossip, jokes,

But now is the time...

I've found a NEW home for The Attraction Chronicles Blog.

It's at http://www.seduction-chronicles.net, this new site will have ALOT of new features, and I'm working on moving ALL the previous posts and comments over to the new site.

If any of you would like to see some features on this upcoming site (eg. comments, forum, etc...) feel free to comment below. I'll take all suggestions seriously (apart from Pay Per View porn... wait... that's a GREAT idea), and I'm building this for you guys to get information EASIER and FASTER.

The expected launch date is around mid-February. I've made a vow that this will not effect the posts till then.

Comments, questions?

P.S. Yes... I'm in love with you all. Deeply.

Gambler (Seduction Master's Interview)

2007-01-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I read this comment on the Dating Coaches of 2006 post:

"Personally, I'd like to choose someone who is virtually unknown, but I saw him turn guys who you wouldn't believe had a chance, into smooth talkers with a better chance of obtaining natural game in 11 hrs. I'm a little biased, because I'm one his students. Gambler, this is for you."

I knew I had to get in touch with this new up and comer, Gambler. After a few emails back and forth we decided to do this interview, which I think you will find extremely revealing and inspirational as I did.

Gambler can be reached through his website at:
PUATraining

Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life"?

There was a night in 2001, I was 21 years old, had never kissed a girl. I was trading the stock market and doing pretty well and I said to myself “I’d give up all this for a girlfriend”. I said it out loud, and I really meant it. Having a girl then was worth more than all my material possessions and I’d probably have taken an offer to take 5 years off my life or sell my soul to the devil!

I met a girl within a few days and had a 2 1/2 year relationship with her!

This boosted my confidence and at least made me semi-comfortable dealing with women.

After we broke up, I was single again and didn’t sleep with another girl for 2 ½ years. The same desperation came back. I didn’t realize I could learn how to get this sorted out, so I was focusing on improving myself – making myself more attractive by working out all my issues and problems. I lightly dipped into Speed Seduction but thought it was utter rubbish and didn’t have the balls to even try it out.

By complete chance I happened to be in Starbucks Leicester Square, London at the same time as an RSD bootcamp. I spied on things a bit and then asked Tyler Durden what was going on. He broke it down and told me to read The Game. I read it when it came out in England which was September 2005. In November, I slept with my second girl. The only game I used was to match her physical escalation. She initiated everything, even the extraction to the hotel. I felt like I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I hadn’t read the book.

Have you had any mentors and what did they teach you?

Before I came to London in March, I was working on things on my own in Cambridge. My “mentors” were actually these super-hero PUAs that can get ANY woman they want, ANY time. They actually don’t seem to exist, but they existed in my mind and this was the goal I was working towards. The fact that I set my sights so high allowed me to get good very quickly. If I’d hung with local lair guys from the beginning, my targets would have been a lot lower and I might never have been as good as I am now.

My inspirations all came from the products, I didn’t meet a real PUA until I trained with Brent in April ’06. I thought David D was a great role-model of an attractive man with attractive qualities. Tyler, Swinngcat, and PU101 produced products which were a big help.

I mainly got lines and mental attitude from these products rather than a complete system for pickup. When I tried them out, I got mixed results because I’d be generally lame but throw out the occasional very funny or interesting line.

Milton Erickson was my strongest non-PU role-model. His books served as a grounding to me since he was dealing with REAL problems, and was focused on what is truly important in life. Not only that but he was a genius and could do things that no other human being has been able to do since.

Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and what options you have with women now?

If we go back only as far as 12 months ago, I’d slept with 2 women. I had no idea if I’d ever find a girlfriend, have sex again or even kiss a girl. The whole process of getting a number or more was bewildering and seemed like a huge challenge. It was the uncertainty that was the main problem. The fact that I knew that I couldn’t just go to a club and grab a girl, and even if I went 10 times I might not get anywhere.

Now, I have multiple girls and options any time I like. I know that I can f-close 7 times a week if I like, or that I can meet a girl of quality (looks and character) around once every 3 weeks. I am dating an Italian girl who is doing a PhD curing cancer, looks like Monica Belluci and is pretty much perfect. I’m also dating a Brazilian girl who is super fun and sexy. Both know about what I do and each other, one even helps out on bootcamps as a HB helper! I have other options from strippers to models. I treat the girls well, don’t use tricks and never had a girl hate me!

What was your hardest sticking point?

The thing that took the longest to click and was the biggest sticking point was sexual escalation. I used to sit in sets for ages without going for a kiss or escalating at all. I barely kino’d. Sometimes I’d be in a set for over an hour without any moves being made.

One night in a set where the girl wasn’t giving me kino or IOIs, I just decided to go for it and pushed for the k-close and got it. After that I became more bold and the kino started to click and become natural.

Do you have a favorite step in your model?

I love to do a direct approach and very fast close so this is my favorite special move:

I spot my target from 5 meters or so, I’m not smiling, I’m looking cool, I point at her and tilt my head. She reacts in some way. I walk purposefully toward her. I give her a direct opener or compliment – “you’re a cutie pie” was a favorite for a while, say “come here” and pull her in, start dancing with her or just touch her hair. Maybe ask her name. Maybe not. K-close. When I imagine super hero PUA, there is no way he is indirect! That’s why this is my favorite move.

Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery?

I think the moment I got it was my first f-close. I ran good game, opened, escalated quickly, moved her around the venue, and then lead her to my house. It was pretty smooth. I even threw in some Speed Seduction stuff. I realized then that I had choice with women for the first time in my life. It doesn’t slowly build up over time. I think there are key moments which open the floodgates. This was mine for f-closes.

When I got my first 9 was a huge moment too. It was always in the back of my mind that I didn’t have one yet. Remember, I live in London, I’ve SEEN less than ten 9s in the past 12 months! That was when I felt like a real top level guy.

What advice would you give to newbies starting out?

Plenty, but here are 3 things that spring to mind:

1. Get over your inhibitions and approach as many sets as you can. A guy that does 100 in a day will close more and learn more than someone that does 3. If you are uncomfortable having attention focused on you, go and do acting. If you are uncomfortable being close to a woman, go to salsa classes. Do some crazy missions, find out your motivation and put yourself in the position where you have to act. Give your friend $100 and get him to give you $10 back for each set you open.

2. When you are starting, it is easy to study loads of theory. You need to balance learning, applying and refining. I learnt more in 2 weeks of gaming than 6 months of theory. It makes sense, try spending 6 months learning how to drive by reading a book and see if you are better than the dude who spent 8 hours in a car.

3. If you are not an attractive man in general, fix that. Work on fashion, body language, voice, extrovert qualities, social skills, building an interesting life, etc. If you focus solely on pickup, it can actually make you worse!

In your experience, what is the biggest issue for guys getting attraction with a woman?

Standing out in a positive way from other guys. You need to project fun, sexuality, and confidence.

Look like you are having fun and don’t care too much about what happens. Be comfortable in the interaction, be externally focused and out of your head. If you don’t show outcome dependency, excellent. It’s being almost casual about it. When you feel pressure, she will too. When you are uncomfortable, she will not be able to relax. When women say they want confidence, this is what they are talking about.

What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve yours?

I can talk all day about this area. Inner game is basically your state, your mood, your beliefs about yourself and women. You build inner game most effectively through results and progress. To build inner game before you start, you can try what I did. I wrote down a list of all the things about myself that I was unsatisfied with. For the ones I could do something about I made a plan of action and executed on it, and for the ones I couldn’t I learnt to accept them. Humans need certainty, sense of direction, this gives that. We need a sense of progress and you can get that by recording the progress you make in a journal. It also helps to stop comparing ourselves to others. Judge by your own life and the progress you are making. There will always be someone who is better in some regard, focusing on them is a recipe for discontent.

These are some things I used. I also studied self-hypnosis, NLP, read all the old Bandler books, everything on, by, or about Milton Erickson, I used subliminal music whilst I slept, etc. I used loads of tools and they all impacted in some way. Now I’m very solid, difficult to stress out, and generally in control of my emotions.

Do you have a personal favorite field report that you could relate?

Yeah! From 3 weeks ago!

I went to a posh club in London (24), was a good night, 3 k-closes with HBs. I got a 15 second k-close from using my “special move” as detailed above. I was in a great state – on fire – everything was working for me I COULDN’T get blown out if I wanted to, this happens sometimes. I didn’t extract any girls, nothing I was too bothered about. I was walking home, it was raining so I put my leather jacket under my top and it looked like I was pregnant.

I was walking with a friend. We were chatting when he gasped and pointed out a girl hiding from the rain under a shelter. She was a 9 in my book and the hottest girl I’d seen in 2006 with maybe 1 other girl on the same level as her. 6” tall with heels, blonde, thin, beautiful face, perfect skin, great smile, greeny blue eyes. Stunning.

I told him to go in, he went in and choked, shook his head and came back. He couldn’t do it.

I went and stood 2 meters away, mirrored her facial expression, she looked at my belly as if to say “huh?” and I rubbed it and mouthed “my baby”. She smiled. I looked at the floor next to her as if to say “there isn’t space next to you” and she took step back to let me in. I went and stood next to her right in her face. I asked what her name is. I was in seduction mode already. I went in to kiss her after 15 seconds but she turned her face so I kissed her on her cheek and neck. I do this if they turn their face. I asked where she was going and she told me so I said “I’ll walk you” and took her hand and lead her down the road.

I said “let’s go for another drink” she agreed and I lead her to my house. She objected when she realized we weren’t going to a bar and said “Russian girls are not so easy!” I said “I know, I love Russian girls, and you are special” in a sincere way (I did mean it too). She then started walking again and I got her to my room. I had no outcome dependency at this point, I had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude which she must have picked up on.

I got her in my room, she sat down, I put music on, she didn’t want wine. I said come here, she said “why” and didn’t stand up so I pulled her up, started kissing her, tripped her up onto the bed. Escalated with no LMR at all and had the best f-close ever. She was stunning, I wouldn’t change her thing. Plus it was all natural. No fake tan, died hair, tons of make-up, fake boobs. She was a diamond. Anyway, it took 15 minutes to get to my house, 5 minutes to get her into bed, and she was a NINE so it was amazing for me.

The PU skill? Nothing verbal, nothing I can describe too well. It was the state I was in + the confidence in the approach + the sexual vibe + the indifference and coolness about taking her home. I really didn’t feel desperate or outcome dependent.

She went to Russia for the holidays so need to call her again now because she’ll be back. But one thing is for sure, in London, it will be MONTHS before I even see anything as good.

What are your current challenges?

Finding quality girls! I don’t practice enough due to lack of quality HBs. My personal pickup goals are to be more dominant, escalate quicker, push the boundaries in this way. I’ve cracked upscale venues, celeb parties etc. Hmmm, not too much left. Just general improvement now I guess and a consistent level of quality.

What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

I’m torn between wanting to be the world’s best PUA and running a successful business. I think I need to come to America for both so I’ll be there soon. I am happy with my love life with a few good quality girls. I like to be in a loving relationship. ONSs don’t do too much for me. Neither does writing field reports or getting status from guys. I’m competitive but not a show-off, so I’ve posted on forums less than 5 times in my life!

You've started a company for English students called PUA Training, what can they expect when they take a bootcamp, and what makes you different from other English companies out there?

In London, we have the major US companies who have set up local operations, and no real home-grown talent. I don’t think the quality of training is up to US standards from the established companies since the local guys just aren’t the name-brand PUAs.

I put together a team who even the other organizations will admit consists of England’s best PUAs. We all have different styles and are not too tied to a specific approach. We teach direct, indirect, day, night, phone, day-2, dance-floor, natural game, and routines. It sounds like a lot but it is pretty simple. The system we teach can be learned and memorized and applied within 15 minutes. It is pickup boiled down into its essential elements from open to close. We then put the other stuff on top of this model so it is flexible enough to adapt to any student or any teacher. Because of this, some students leave and are routine guys, some leave and have natural game, and most have a mix but are working towards being all-natural. We had 3 f-closes in a row on bootcamp nights in December, and many more from dates following n-closes on the nights. At least 75% of students get closes on average which is better than any other published number I’ve seen.

Our bootcamps have 2:1 ratio in the club, have HBs that the guys can practice on before going into the field, feature wing-girls, sex skills training, fashion advice, and special guests in lots of areas. I wanted to get away from the “guy with a whiteboard” type of event and we hold our events in private rooms in bars and clubs and the guys are never sat listening without doing an exercise for more than 20 minutes. We have a big budget and spend the money on quality additions. We do day game AND night game.

Tell me about your soon to be released products, and what someone can expect to learn from them?

I’m writing an ebook which is 90% done. I went through all the material prior to going into the field. I’ve read every ebook and watched every DVD and listened to every piece of audio. Some is good, some is bad. A common problem is that none of these products gives you everything you need – the entire process from open to close with all the content you need along the way. Mystery’s book is the best in this regard at the moment, but it is still somewhat limited in its approach. The 7 hours, the negs, the mixed sets in clubs, no direct game, no dance-floor game, no day-game, no inner game, a very rigid system of steps. Basically I wanted to give a complete system for picking up women in any environment. I think I’ve achieved that. People love it so far and I look forward to seeing the response. I’ve basically created the book that I needed when I was an AFC.

Other products will have a similar goal, and so will stand out in the same way.

Your game is "natural", why did you adopt this technique, instead of using a more structured approach to pickup?

Hmmm, well it is natural but still structured. I know what “phase” I’m in and what I can do and what I need to do next. But I freestyle it within that. Because I generally look for quality girls that I can be in relationships with, I find canned material objectionable. I want the girl to be attracted to me, what I have to say, and what I truly think of her. I don’t want to catch a girl by acting a role. I would hate to have a girlfriend who I used a routine stack on. I think that canned material is a crutch until you develop the skills to freestyle and “be yourself”!
I have an unbreakable routine stack, it would close pretty much anything, but I don’t use it. The second reason I don’t use this stuff is that it doesn’t test me, I like to exercise my mental muscles, sharpen them and become better socially through this. You learn more from freestylying 1000 sets than doing the same routine stack 1000 times.

I don’t understand why guys want to be PUAs. A natural with PUA knowledge can out-game 99.9% of PUAs. AFC’s should strive to be naturals.

You traveled around Europe with some great dating coaches last year, what can you tell us about meeting women in other countries?

Well... You have disadvantages and benefits:
You are a rare commodity and more attractive.
They know you aren’t staying long.
The girls are generally not as easy.
Language can be a barrier.
Some countries just hate foreigners.

Aside from this, it is pretty much the same everywhere. The hottest girls in the world are in Latvia. And the most harsh environment ever is the Latvian club scene! They will blow guys out on the open in the most harsh way possible over and over. I still scored every night but I really did pick my shots carefully and the HBs were scared to be seen with me in front of anyone because of the negative social proof of being with a foreigner. Somewhere like Sweden, it’s different, pretty easy, but weird things like expecting you to light their cigarettes (same in a lot of these countries actually, Russia too), and if you refuse it isn’t cool at all. They are not shit-testing, it’s a part of the culture.

Being around so many HBs on the European tour, my game went through the roof! That’s why I need plenty of holidays to places with hot girls – to keep my game sharp. Anyone who wants to take our English girls, please let me know!

You've offered to write a column on The Attraction Chronicles. What do you think you'll focus on, and what can my readers expect?

Lots of things spring to mind. Right now, I think “A structured way to become a natural” would be pretty good theme. Natural game learned unnaturally! Haha. The advice is universal in my opinion.

Gambler can be reached through his website at:

PUATraining

Thanks Gambler, it looks like we'll be hearing from you again soon!

Top 5 Dating Coaches of 2006

2007-01-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

It's been a very controversial voting but I have calculated your votes (there was 1100+), I have researched the Top 5 most popular, and here are the...

The Results

1. Juggler
2. Neil Strauss
3. David Deangelo
4. Stephen Nash
5. Mystery

Juggler's natural game, and Seduction School pilot helped him seal the deal this year.

Juggler (Wayne Elise)

Wayne Elise is an old-timer within the seduction community. He was the first to start teaching infield workshops back in 1999(?). His game is most based on natural, comfort building conversations. His Seduction School pilot in the UK topped ratings, and helped his business explode.

Learn more about Wayne Elise with his brief profile on my site here.

2. Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss helped the community reach popularity in October of 2005 with the book "The Game". His techniques mirror Mystery's and he was a leader in the community for several years. In mid-2006, he released the Annihilation Method, a DVD collection of his own teachings.

Read my interview with Neil Strauss here.

3. David Deangelo

David Deangelo is one of the longest running "community" dating coaches around. His techniques have earned him the praise of thousands, and his masculine identity products help guys overcome their "wussyness".

Learn more about David Deangelo with a brief profile on my site here.

4. Stephen Nash (PlayboyLA)

Stephen Nash was a resident of Project Hollywood, and former RSD instructor. He left the "game" several years ago - accomplishing all that the community could offer him. After leaving the game, he formed Cutting Edge Image Consulting. Stephen takes the best parts of "pickup" and teaches men how to develop a strong identity, charismatic social skills, and most importantly an attractive and fulfilling lifestyle, which he ultimately believes leads to much higher success than "pickup" could ever offer. (On a side-note, I took one-on-one coaching from Stephen, and it was a life changing session)

Read my interview with Stephen Nash on my blog here, or visit his new website here.

5. Mystery

Mystery is probably one of the world's leading pickup artists. This year was fairly uneventful for him as a dating coach, however the Mystery Method has been more widely adopted than ever before. His terms are now standard. With his separation from the Mystery Method company, this year will probably see Eric more in the community spotlight with new innovations.

Read more about the Mystery Method here.

That's it for this year! It promises to be excellent!
Donovan

Top Dating Coach of 2006

2006-12-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

The Top Dating Coach of 2006... make your opinion count in my poll below. Polling closes midnight the 6th of January. (Please post a comment on why you voted for your particular dating coach, it may help others find more success as you've had!)

Riding off Thundercat's Top Pickup Artists of 2006, I thought that there is more to dating than picking up girls from boyfriends and taking them to bathrooms, so I thought the concept of an overall Dating Coach would be awesome. These are the best instructors based on performance, innovation, and content of advice. Remember, not the most popular perhaps, but the person of the year who has given the most relevant and useful advice for the improvement of YOU (that you've found to work), not particularly the whole community.

Let's see who wins!

Donovan

New Year's Eve Pickup Guide

2006-12-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

Lance Mason's guide for New Years:

Let's face... no guy wants to be alone on New Year's Eve.

There's nothing worse than standing alone by yourself at Midnight while everyone else around you is kissing, and if you've been studying PickUp 101 Material, it should NEVER happen to you.

And I've got a little known secret to tell you... New Year's Eve is one of the best
nights of the year to hook up.

This is the ONE NIGHT that it's finally 'okay' for women to act out on their romantic and sexual desires. So don't let that special someone (or those special people!) down this holiday season.

I put together this Guide to Hooking Up New Year's Even to help you as you head out to one of the biggest celebrations of the year.

And remember the single most important thing is to have FUN!

Tip #1: Have transportation home planned.

Don't underestimate the power of a designated driver and one empty seat on New Years Eve. I don't know how it is in your town, but in San Francisco getting a cab on New Years from 2 to 3 a.m. is next to impossible.

Having a ride planned out gives her an easy excuse to ditch her friends and catch a ride with you!

Tip #2: Pick a large venue and stay there.

It's better to go to one big party the whole night then to go to several small parties over the course of the night. As the night progresses, things tend to favor those who have been the most social all night.

Women you flirted with earlier will come back to talk to you. Even the people you haven't talked to will start to recognize you as one of the more social people in the room.

This helps tremendously, and is all lost if you jump from party to party.

Tip #3: Have a goal in mind.

Are you looking to set up a bunch of dates for the New Year, to get a girlfriend, or to just have fun and hook-up for the night? It's worth mentioning that if you don't know what you are looking for you won't know when you have found it.

Tip #4: Countdowns are for wimps.

If you have a girl attracted to you and have been talking to her a while DON'T wait till midnight to get the kiss. If she likes you then practically any line works here. You can look at your watch and say, "Damn, it's only 10:30!".

Then pause and say, "I'm not waiting" and go in for the kiss.

You can even (*very* deliberately) set your watch forward (or backwards) to Midnight in front of her, give her an innocent "Oh I guess I'm supposed to kiss you now" look and go in for the kill. All done calmly with a smile, a sense of humor, and a "take it or leave it" attitude.

Once you've gotten to that point, keep escalating. Usually I say "Never fully make
out in a bar", but tonight is different.

It's New Years Eve! Go for it!

Tip #5: Hang out with the cool kids.

No matter what your age, only go out with cool friends who will support your goals.

Remember, women *will* judge you by your friends. If their are people in your life
who aren't quite up to par with you socially, this is the wrong night to spend time with them.

On the other hand, if you can go out with your best 'wingmen' definitely do it, it
could very well have to do more with your success then where you go.

By the way, I'm not just talking about wingmen here. Other single girl 'friends' and
couples can help you as much as (or even more then!) your male friends with game.

Tip #6: Don't overdo the banter!

I affectionately call New Years Eve amateur night.

I don't mean to disrespect anyone with that statement - I'm just trying to accurately assess what makes meeting girls on this night different. Clearly one of the biggest distinctions is that this is the one night where EVERYONE goes out.

Frankly, many of the people you'll see out drinking, dancing, and hooking up haven't
been out all year.

And I not just talking about guys either.

Many of the hot women you'll meet on New Years hardly ever go out. This is especially true with the most successful, most attractive women since they are often too busy working on their career and their bodies to hit the bar every weekend.

The end result is that many desirable women out on New Years are much less exposed to the attraction techniques we teach.

That means you probably need a lot *less* of your attraction techniques then normal.

Remember, once a woman likes you, you need to move into rapport, escalate things
physically, or risk losing her interest.

After all, women want to hook up on New Years as much as we do, and once she likes you she's thinking "What's next?" If you answer question with more entertaining stories or harmless flirting she is likely to lose interest.

In this environment whatever skill you have will be much more effective.

Now these women aren't that easy to spot. Unlike the guys who rarely hit the singles
scene, these girls know how to dress, how to socialize, and usually even know how to
dance.

So take it easy with the attraction techniques and escalate early, you won't need
as much as you might think.

Tip #7: After you make out with a girl, figure out the logistics ASAP.

If you want to bring a girl home with you, you definitely don't want to wait too long to broach the subject. If you are going to meet lot's of resistance, it's better to know that early on while you can still move on if you choose. If you wait till the end of the night you could miss out.

Find out who she is with, what their plans are, and what commitments she has sooner
rather then later. Is she driving anyone home? Is anyone planning on giving her a
ride? Is she there with protective friends or relatives that you might have to make a good impression on?

These are all questions I like to get to the bottom of right away after a little new
year's kissing. No waiting required.

The after party is at your house, right?

So all you need to do is say, "Hey, we're having an after party later, did you guys all come together?" Her answer will give you an early indication of what the chances of her coming back with you are. If you do this early in the night, you are not looking for a "Yes", just a "maybe" and some more information about what the logistics are.

Tip #8: Keep an eye on your target

I'm a big fan of "takeaways" (also known as giving girls "the gift of missing you") but I am real careful using these techniques in extremely chaotic environments.

If you've found the girl you *really* want, keep an eye on her!

Leave her for a second and you may lose sight of her. Lose sight of her, and she could be lip locked with another guy by the time you find her again.

Trust me even after you've met another girl, you'll still think about the one that got away.

Tip #9: Have fun!

Don't work so hard on your game and push your goals so much that you forget to have a good time. Being the funnest guy in the room will do more for your night, and your results, then all the other tips combined.

Doctor Paul "Seventh Sense" Seminar

2006-12-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

Doctor Paul, who is the pimp daddy of all dating guru's, has got a seminar coming in Chicago soon. Worth the flight... he's got some of the most groundbreaking ideas (scientifically based) that get results! Fun guy.

Details:

Dr. Paul presents...

The Seventh Sense Seminar Friday, Saturday, & Sunday Feb. 2nd - 4th, 2007 in Chicago, IL. USA!

If you are ready to explore all parts of sexual attraction, dating, relationships and masculine power. This program is designed to give you more than skills. You will learn about mastering your instincts with women.

Read more on Dr Paul's website...

Don't Despair:The Change Is Happening

2006-12-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we put a lot of burden on ourselves in this community. Everything is our fault with women, and we have the power to change our destiny. All true statements.

I've noticed, for myself, it can be overwhelming at times when it seems you've been doing all you can do.

Don't despair. Change is happening, and you're the one making a better life for yourself. Few people care about your immediate success but you... and your future girlfriends. They want a quality man that they can share those special moments in life with.

Become the man you would want to be with if you were a woman.

So don't get down on yourself for not picking up that 10 at the club last night. Work on it. Play with it. Don't take yourself so seriously, and have FUN.

It's all about experiences.

Donovan

Mystery Method Relationship Seminar Redux

2006-12-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

Got a email from Savoy (CEO of Mystery Method).

There are only 6 spaces left at the January 27th, 2007 relationship seminar in Los Angeles, he expects them to be full by Boxing Day.

Visit:

www.themysterymethod.com/rm.htm

To see if it's what you're looking for. Then EMAIL me attractionchronicles @ gmail.com to claim your discount.

Hurry and register, this seminar is also personalized coaching after the seminar with Savoy.

Donovan

Present for Christmas? (Video)

2006-12-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

Possibly a better present than Thundercat's suggestions on the subject? :)

How To Use Flirting To Make Her Want You

2006-12-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

I want to talk about the concept of "flirting", and why it's SO important that you understand exactly what it is and how to do it with women.

To begin with, women know what flirting is and they respond VERY differently to flirting communication than they do to typical social communication.

If you understand flirting and sexual tension, you can begin conversations with women and have them INSTANTLY feeling ATTRACTION for you.

If you DON'T understand how flirting and sexual tension work, then you're either going to have to become famous or make a LOT of money to be successful with women.

I'm going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well, then do it RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING in your interactions with women to SET THE RIGHT TONE.

Think of flirting like playing.

Remember when you were a kid and you used to "play fight" with your friends?

What's the difference between "play" wrestling and "real" wrestling?

And how do you know the difference when it's happening... when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on you and tries to pin you?

The answer is YOU JUST KNOW. It's obvious to humans (and other animals, by the way) when someone is "playing" and when they're serious.

Flirting is similar.

If you start talking to a woman and say, "Hi, you're very pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?" in a normal tone of voice, you're NOT flirting.

On the other hand, if you say, "Hi, I realize that you're probably shy because you get no attention from men... so I thought I'd come over here and pay attention to you..." it's OBVIOUS that you're not being serious. This is flirting.

By the way, flirting IS NOT simply telling jokes, or trying to be "cute".

One of the concepts that I teach is called "Cocky & Funny."

Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of flirting and creating sexual tension with a specific kind of humor.

It's so funny to me how some guys write in because they "can't see themselves being Cocky & Funny around women" because they don't want to come across as jerks.

This really cracks me up... because it's obvious to me that these guys JUST DON'T GET IT.

So let me explain this whole thing a different way...

If you know how to communicate the right way, women will respond to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVEL of sexual interest and ATTRACTION.

When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky & Funny way, which is really a form of "adult verbal play", you tune in to a certain frequency in a woman's mind and cause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state.

One of the keys to effective flirting is to "get it". In other words, you have to actually get out there and practice so you get a "feel" for how it works.

I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line or technique and a woman responds by saying "You're a loser." Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even one of those horrible "I don't have a sense of humor" cases, they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that they're a failure.

But take my word for it... once you learn how to flirt effectively and communicate in the language of "adult play" you WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE how women will respond to you. If you want to see some video clips of me TEACHING Cocky & Funny then go here and check out the examples:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10000/CockyComedy/

Here's an example of some of one of my favorite topics to "riff on" when flirting... the topic of getting married and us being in a relationship... and I'll give it to you in the form of a sample dialog. Keep in mind, I might have a
conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five minutes earlier...

Her: "I have a good job, and I make good money"

Me: "Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We could leave for Vegas right now and be married in about 4 or 5 hours. I need a woman with money."

Her: "OK, that sounds like a plan"

Me: "But wait a minute... do you think you can support the both of us on your income? I really want to be a stay at home husband... you know, keep an eye on the TV and such."

Her: "Oh, no... I won't support you."

Me: "Well, then I'm breaking up with you. It's over between us. I was going to marry you, then divorce you a week later and take half your money."

Her: "You can't break up with me! I'm not even your girlfriend."

Me: "That's all the more reason."

...do you get what's going on here?

I'm taking a normal conversation topic (her job and income) and redirecting the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky & Funny way to create a fun mood and sexual tension (by suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over her not supporting
me, etc.).

If the above example doesn't make any sense to you, then take that as a sign that you need to get out and practice more. Try it on a waitress or two.

When you ask for something and she says, "I'm sorry, we don't have that", just say, "OK, this relationship isn't working out... I'm going to have to break up with you."

In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situation with ANY woman where she's saying something that you don't like, and it's funny.

When you communicate like this, you're FLIRTING, you're TEASING, and you're initiating a DIFFERENT KIND OF COMMUNICATION than what most men initiate.

And as soon as the woman you're talking to "engages" you in this kind of dialogue, THE GAME IS ON.

There are a LOT of ways you can flirt, and a lot of ways you can be Cocky & Funny that DON'T REQUIRE WORDS.

If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look back at her and do the same... only exaggerate it.

If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it, then look up at her in a surprised way, then raise your eyebrows as if you just had a major "ah ha!" realization... then start smiling and nodding your head as if you just realized that
she wants you. This is a powerful combination because it's funny, and it exaggerates the meaning in her touching you.

There are a MILLION ways to flirt like this, but the point that I'm trying to make is that you NEED TO START DOING IT RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING OF YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN.

It will set off all of your conversations with women on the right foot, and start a dialog that creates sexual tension and ATTRACTION.

If you DON'T learn how to communicate with women like this you'll have BORING, "NORMAL" conversations that NEVER lead to sexual tension and ATTRACTION.

Remember, women can tell INSTANTLY whether you're flirting with them or not. If you are, and you're doing it in a subtle, charming way, you'll get amazing responses.

One of the keys to flirting and creating ATTRACTION effectively, is projecting confidence and indifference both in your voice tone and body language as you do it...

And in order to project these things, you need to have the right understanding and BELIEFS about how male/female ATTRACTION works... and then be able to project them throughout your conversation with women.

The program you need to get if you want to learn how to FLIRT with women is my famous "Cocky Comedy" DVD/CD program.

One of the SPECIFIC things that I saw guys who were "naturals" with women doing... and one of the things that I later learned to do... is what I call "being Cocky & Funny".

You've probably read about the technique in these newsletters I send you.

This is essentially my FAVORITE "technique", and the reason why is because it's FUN... and it WORKS.

It's fun for you, it's fun for her, and it works like MAD to spark and build ATTRACTION.

If you've tried being Cocky & Funny with a woman and seen that SPARK in her eye... and the smile on her face... then you KNOW how powerful this is.

Well, this program will take your basic skills and SUPERCHARGE them. I'll teach you everything from the foundations of humor and laughter... all the way to specific word-by-word lines for the most common situations you find yourself in with women.

Go check it out, and watch some video clips here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10000/CockyComedy/

Oh, and if you haven't gone and downloaded my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to get your ass in gear and do that right now. You can download it and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now. Get it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10000/eBook/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend

David D

Happy Birthday

2006-12-17T09:59:00.001-08:00

No... this isn't the blog's annual birthday. It's mine! I'm a year older and... wiser.

A big THANK YOU goes out to all my loyal readers here at The Attraction Chronicles. You definitely make my life brighter, and happier.

You guys are awesome, and this new year in my life is going to be better than the last! A lot of traveling, new hobbies, and new girls.

The Mystery Method Way: Pursuing vs. Chasing:

2006-12-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night, and followed the Mystery Method perfectly. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number.

You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners in the Mystery Method are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value…she has to come to me” and default to (A). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first met, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys”. Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men (both you and I are lucky that we found the Mystery Method). There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics to making you she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

* Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself).

* Call from different numbers

* Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls

* Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

* Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

* If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up.You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing”. If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

eHarmony Review

2006-12-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well, Thundercat posted an article on his blog about eHarmony. From what he was saying, it sounds like the worst site on the Internet. Not only is it a waste of time (literally - time consuming to setup an account), but it also seems like there's nothing but freak show, desperate women on there. AFC's we need you, go over to this site, eHarmony and do some charity work.

In the end, Thundercat ended up saying:

"Over all, I’d say that eHarmony is one of the WORST dating sites for guys out there. Personally, I think that company is kept afloat by a gaggle of desperate, ugly women who struck out on all the other dating sites out there. If you’re looking to get some quality results with online dating, go for a site that gives you more freedom and better search quality, like Match or Yahoo. And if you don’t want to pay for it, stick to MySpace."

If you want the edge with online dating, like a total system with secret techniques and results based on experience from experts, check out David Deangelo's "Meeting Women Online" DVD set. Really awesome stuff.

Donovan

Texting Eliminates Flakes

2006-12-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

There are lots of theories on how to get the solid date and avoid flaking, but recently I've tested and proven an approach that works every time.

You have to just assume you KNOW when you're together whether or not it's on for the future. You can feel how strong the connection is. If it's really there, just don't screw anything up. Send her a cute SMS the next day, let her reply, then SMS telling her when you'll call. Then call, have a short, fun chat, and set the date and time to meet again.

Don't overthink this stuff or try to overgame with phone and SMS. This may be the biggest community-induced mistake I have had to undo. If she gave you her real number, she already likes you. So just assume all you need to do now is make it easy for her to get in contact with you.

Use text first. Calling first is always more of a risk because people do NOT answer their phone unless they know the number (and people like me don't answer their phone even if they know it, choosing instead to time-shift with voicemail).

The text allows her to see who it is, and lets her THINK and FEEL about you before replying. It lets her remember. It also prepares her to talk to you, so she's looking forward to it.

Personally I have always HATED the phone. I hate when the phone rings, I hate talking on it, I hate not being able to see the person, etc. But I love little notes. That's what text is. Little love notes passed in class to keep the fire going until you see each other again.

===

Here's my classic failsafe... I've probably sent some variation on this 1000 times.

"hey cutie... it's weird... i was just thinking of you... :-)"

With text, be quick and cute. Don't go for too cocky. Remember, cocky doesn't work without body language and non-verbal cues. Your text should be like a cute little note you drop in her purse that pings her to remember the good feelings she had when with you. That's all.

My RULES for text messages:

1. I always address them with pet names like darlin', sweetie, cutie pie, sexy, gorgeous, adorable brat, etc.

2. I use proper grammar. I don't use the normal abbreviations. If you do, U R 2 stop. I do abbreviate stuff like family to "fam", San Francisco to SF, etc. I hope I don't have to say this, but NEVER USE LEET SPEAK (wikipedia it if you don't know). Know the difference between "your" and "you're", "to" and "too", etc. A side rule to this, the more sexual the message, the more proper the grammar you should use. Which feels sexier, "I want 2 slowly kiss Ur lips…" or "I want to slowly kiss your lips…"?

3. Sign your name when it is the first one or two text messages you send (credit: Robert1). All you do is write your text, then at the end add "-Sean." Replace "Sean" with your own name though, or include my cell phone number in the text if you don't.

4. I use a lot of smiley faces This replaces the big friendly smile you would have on your face when you deliver a banter line. Text messages should basically be banter lines. I do not use any other faces other than smiley faces. No winky face no "P" face (I actually don't even know what this is supposed to mean), etc. Some might disagree, but personally I think this borders on leet speak, which is not ok. Furthermore, I want my words to convey my message. If my words, punctuation and a smiley face aren't enough, then I feel I am doing something wrong.

5. I use rich descriptions. If I do say how I am doing, I make it descriptive. In response to "how R U?" I might reply "Just saw the sunset over the bay, the sky's glowing orange - looks incredible!"

6. Jump on the offers a girl makes. An "offer" is a term from improv acting. It is when one actor says something that describes something about the other actor.

Example, one actor says to the other, "I like that large funny hat you have on", the other actor then would go on with that theme of wearing a large funny hat.

It is a little different with text messages, but if a girl sends you something that you can make fun and sexy, do it. For example, I got a text message from one of the girls the other night, "buenas noches. Dulces suenos guapo." [translates: good night. Sweet dreams, handsome]. I replied the next morning by writing, "good morning, beautiful. Have a good day." Except I wrote it in french. I took her theme, and replied in a way that was similar, but original and charming.

Your TOOLS:

Brevity: You have to say everything very quickly. If you can't say it in about 10 to 20 words, then rework it until you can. It is ALWAYS possible to flirt in less than 12 words, in my opinion. If you don't think so, "you are a dork :) " (see, it is that easy). Get rid of everything and anything that is not necessary, by not necessary I mean not flirty and fun.

Punctuation: The main punctuation techniques I use are CAPS, ellipses… exclamation!!! Question marks?? both?!?!, [brackets], and (parenthesis). And smiley face as I mentioned before :) These all have different emotional effects, use them! Caps are REALLY EXCITING!! Wtf?!? [roll my eyes] don't make me.. come over there… and wrap my arms around you… (I won't spank tooo hard)

NEW! Mystery Method Relationship Seminar

2006-12-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

Would you like to learn how to handle a girlfriend?

Would you like to know how to handle multiple long-term relationships?

As I talk to guys, I notice that the community is extremely focused on pickup. We gotta realize that pickup is only PART of seduction, the other part is RELATIONSHIP. The advice you get out in the real world is that you need to be nice, submissive, and the women is mostly right.

Well...

The Mystery Method will teach the best methods for lasting attraction and intimacy. Get rid of those cheating girlfriend/wife worries... =)

Savoy tells me that if you'd like to reserve a spot for this groundbreaking community seminar in Los Angeles at the end of January, you need to get in fast, spots will be limited, so contact me for a discounted 'friends only' price. Not even people on the Mystery Method mailing list/lounge/forum know about this yet. (Their email list has probably over 35,000 members... once it hits there, spots will be gone)

Visit www.themysterymethod.com/rm.htm and remember to mention my blog/name and it will save you $50 off the price.

Don't be a fool, stay in school! - Van Wilder

Donovan

Inside Mystery Method

2006-12-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

I've recently spoken to my friend Savoy, CEO of Mystery Method. He told me of exciting stuff happening over there, and about a new blog featuring his adventures in his dating life, and the running of a pickup business. Check it out here.

Donovan

How To Pickup Women in Supermarkets

2006-12-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

The latest and greatest from Lance Mason

Here's how I get my shop on.

Supermarket is a super-normal situation. Act super-normal. Forget the crazy stuff. Just be friendly, flirty, and the show you have some manners.

And keep this in mind... the supermarkets are full of single girls on weeknights after work. Single girls who are waiting to meet someone charming, confident, and yes, NORMAL.

Now's your time to shine.

Follow these steps, and make sure you put "hottie" on your shopping list this week.

1. Walk in and grab a cart. It makes a difference. Even if you're just there to
practice flirting, make it look to everyone, especially yourself, that you fit in.

2. Head towards the back of the store so you can see who's in which row. Walk along
shopping, and keep your eyes open. When you find a girl you like, start walking towards her.

3. Be observant. Look at where she is. It always helps to be aware of the situation.

4. Make a comment on anything appropriate to the situation.

You don't need your opener to be clever. Just appropriate. The trick is to get her
attention, and then start having fun.

5. Here's how it works when you add some banter to your shopping cart.

"Wow, you got a lot of good food there.
I usually just buy beer and a pack of
Twizzlers."

"Yes, well..."

Now turn on the big smile.

"Perfect. I'll be over for dinner at 7:30...
no, 8. And I'll bring the wine this time...
you just cook that special thing you made
for us last week."

Now is when she smiles and plays along. Keep playing with it. Talk about how the
dinner last week was great, and you're really looking forward to a special night. Laugh and smile and enjoy it. If you have fun, she'll have fun.

Once she's smiling and having fun, the next step is easy.

Just introduce yourself. Then talk to the girl. Have a conversation, and see if there's something there.

Tested and approved.

Now, because I'm in a good mood, I'm going to give you one more super-bonus line to use.

"My buddy is having a girl over for dinner.
What should he make?"

"Well, girls always like pasta..."

"Actually, I didn't need to know that.
I just made that up so I could come over here
and flirt with you. Did you not get that? Here,
let me try again.

How you doin'?" :-)

Now I want to see some replies with your ideas as well. Let's make the supermarket the new disco.

Yeah baby!

Tell me your best lines. Get out there and start having fun, and let us know what's working best for you.

Lance

Dating Do's and Dont's (Video)

2006-12-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

How the times have changed... but not by that much! =)

The Bullshit Business of Love! (Video)

2006-12-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

I found this video online from Penn and Teller (Showtime Series) talking about the woman that wrote "The Rules", the truth behind John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women Are From Venus". Funny stuff, and truth to it!

Why "Cocky & Funny" Attracts Women

2006-12-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

Cocky & Funny technique with women, and you really liked the results? Would you like to learn how to MASTER the technique, and create SUPER attraction with women? If so, then I want you to take a minute and look at THIS:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e//CockyComedy/

WHY THE COCKY & FUNNY ATTITUDE IS ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN... AND HOW TO USE IT

I get a lot of email from guys who don't quite get the Cocky & Funny attitude.

It just doesn't make sense to some guys that teasing women, busting their balls, being slightly arrogant, not kissing up to them, etc. could or should make them feel attraction.

I can understand this because I was exactly the same way the first few times I heard it and saw it being used.

I kept thinking to myself, "If I do this cocky and funny thing, I'm only going to come across as arrogant... and that can't make women like me more."

Well, was I wrong.

You must always remember that ATTRACTION isn't logical. It doesn't follow the rules that it "should" follow. ATTRACTION is a very powerful emotion that has reasons and triggers that don't make any sense at first glance...

I'm sure you've seen many attractive women with guys who mistreat them, abuse them, and were exactly the opposite of what you'd expect a woman to accept.

Why?

ATTRACTION. In the beginning she felt attraction, and as bad as it may sound, almost no amount of being "bad", abusive, or jerk-ish can convince a woman, feeling a strong attraction to a guy, to leave.

So let me take the opportunity to talk a bit about the Cocky & Funny attitude, why it works, and how to use it to attract women (without having to be an abusive jerk).

First of all, you have to remember that the formula is Cocky PLUS Funny. Always both.

If you act too cocky, you'll only come off as arrogant and insecure.

If you're just funny, always telling jokes, and making people laugh, you will probably come across as "too goofy."

But if you use BOTH together, you will create magic. Cocky + Funny is like sparring... it's sport... it's fun... it's challenging... it's interesting when used with skill.

So let's get clear about what "Cocky + Funny" is.

Here's a cocky statement:

"Her dress makes her look fat."

Here's a Cocky + Funny statement:

"If she doesn't find a dress that fits better, the fashion police are going to send in the SWAT team for her ass."

Get it?

Start with arrogance, then add humor.

So why does it work to attract women?

Well, the short (email newsletter size) answer is:

COCKY AND FUNNY ATTRACTS WOMEN BECAUSE IT QUICKLY AND DIRECTLY SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOU.

Women are attracted to "alpha male" types - We all know that. Women are attracted to a sense of humor. We all know that one too.

Women AREN'T attracted to men who give away their power, kiss up to them, smother them with attention, act like whipped puppies, and get nervous just being in the same room with them.

If you meet an attractive woman, and IMMEDIATELY start giving her a hard time about something, busting on her, and having fun, it basically says to her:

"You are interesting enough to talk to, but you're going to have to do a lot more than just look good to impress me. Your beauty doesn't make me nervous in the least, I'm perfectly calm, and in fact, I'm so comfortable that I just noticed something about you that I'm going to make fun of..."

There is no faster way on earth to communicate all the right attitudes, beliefs, self-image, comfort, confidence, and power than to be Cocky + Funny.

(Except maybe to put on a perfect Brad Pitt costume.)

Once you start using this attitude, you will be totally astounded at the results.

Here's a low-risk example:

Next time you're at the grocery store in the checkout line paying for your groceries, say:

"So how much of this cash do you get to keep?" (as you hand her the money)

She'll probably laugh and say: "None... I wish."

To which you can respond with:

"Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20%... I assumed you were rich and could support me, but now I'm not interested... I want a rich girl." (Turn up your nose)

This is a great one. It's always fun to ask a woman if she's rich or famous, then when she says that she's not, tell her that it messed up her chances with you, and that you're not interested anymore.

One of the keys to the Cocky + Funny attitude is to never "crack." If she opens her mouth and gives you the "I can't believe you just said that" look, you need to turn it up a notch...

Most guys will crack and say "Oh, I was just kidding."

DON'T DO THAT! It makes you look like a wussy.

In the example above, if the checker looks at you and gives you the open mouthed "I can't believe you said that" look and says, "Hey! I may not be rich, but I'm nice!", you just look at her and say "Nice isn't good enough, I need RICH AND nice."

Your goal is not to upset a woman, but to get under her skin enough by teasing, busting on her, and acting cocky and funny so that it ignites the magical challenge/attraction mechanism.

And once you can see that you're getting a good response from a woman, GET HER NUMBER. Or get her email. Don't stand around like a dork trying to make her laugh.

As you become better and better with these tools, you can then begin "extending" the conversation... increasing the attraction... and taking things to the "next level".

So get out there and use it, because the magic formula of Cocky + Funny will create all kinds of good things for you. You'll see.

And if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "I really need to learn how to master this Cocky & Funny thing", then I AGREE!

In fact, learning how to be Cocky & Funny is one of the FASTEST, EASIEST, and MOST FUN ways you can make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

If you'd like to get a "fast track" education on Cocky & Funny, then I HIGHLY recommend that you check out my Cocky Comedy DVD/CD program.

This program features me and several amazing guest speakers teaching you STEP-BY-STEP how to master the technique... along with DOZENS and DOZENS of specific Cocky & Funny "lines" and "comebacks" for every situation you can imagine.

Go watch some of the preview video clips, and see for yourself how valuable this program is:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e//CockyComedy/

Pickup101 Instructor on Beauty and the Geek?

2006-11-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

I've just heard that a Pickup101 instructor will be appearing on CW's Beauty and the Geek... he's one of these guys apparently... my guess is it's one of those two Asian guys...

Donovan

Loverboy's Tribute to Sarging (Video)

2006-11-29T18:55:00.000-08:00

I posted this up on the blog about a year ago, but it was removed from Google about a month later. I think it's an awesome video signifying what can happen when you resolve to do something, and fix the situation your in! Kudos Loverboy!

David Deangelo's Cocky Comedy Program (Video)

2006-11-28T14:07:00.000-08:00

It's been too long for me to post these videos from Cocky Comedy.

I've noticed alot of men within the community, tend to overdo Cocky and Funny. That's why David released this, to help get the right formula.

Basically, cocky and funny is flirting. If you're insulting a woman. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. You need to fix it. Get this DVD set, it's great for flirting and generating crazy amounts of attraction.

David Deangelo Cocky Comedy Program

David Deangelo Cocky Comedy Testimonals
(Guys who were at seminar)

Can You Program Yourself To Meet Women?

2006-11-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

I'd like to talk a bit about how we program ourselves and become programmed when it comes to dealing with women... as well as how to overcome the negative programming that we often don't even recognize within ourselves.

Let me ask you a few questions. Take a moment to think about the answers... maybe even write them down.

1) When it comes to women, do you have an overall "positive" outlook towards your success? Do you believe that there is "abundance" when it comes to women, and that you can go out at any time and get a date if you want to? Why or why not?

2) Do you have any negative beliefs or programming when it comes to the idea of APPROACHING women you'd like to meet or asking women out on dates? Do you believe that you're going to be intruding or annoying a woman if you approach her? Do you
believe that a woman will most likely accept or reject a date request from you?

3) Have you CHOSEN the beliefs and attitudes that you have towards women, or have they been "chosen for you" by others, situations, programming, TV, the media, etc.?

4) Would you like to change some of the attitudes and beliefs that you hold in your mind? If so, which ones and what would you like to change them to?

If you're like most guys I know who would like to improve their success with women, then you probably have one or two "negative programs" in your subconscious mind (if you're like I used to be before I learned the things I know now, then you might have A LOT of them).

I can remember when I used to believe that women would be VERY offended or alarmed if I tried to strike up an unexpected conversation with them...

I can remember feeling that if a woman rejected me in front of other people that I WOULD DIE of embarrassment.

I can remember thinking, "Why would a woman find ME attractive?" And believing that the truly desirable, beautiful women out there just wouldn't find a guy like me interesting or attractive because I wasn't rich, tall, famous, buff, or of royal descent.

And as a matter of fact, even though I've spent literally YEARS reprogramming myself and learning as much as I could about women and attraction, I still know that somewhere deep in my subconscious mind this old programming exists. Of course, it
doesn't affect my behavior the way it used to, but my point is that once you program yourself or open yourself to programming from others and from our modern culture, it's sometimes a challenge to overcome that programming and go on to be successful.

Let me give you a little Tough Love:

NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT WITH WOMEN. AND NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN... OTHER THAN YOU.

Really.

If you learn how to meet and date the kinds of women that you've always wanted, it won't matter to anyone. Your friends won't think you're any cooler (well, maybe a little), your mom won't stop nagging you, your boss won't pay you more money, and you won't lose that extra 10 pounds that you've needed to lose for the past 10 years.

It just doesn't matter. No one cares.

THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES IS YOU.

And the only one that's going to be able to do anything about this programming that we're talking about IS YOU.

Your buddies aren't going to come over tomorrow night and say, "Hey, you know, I've been thinking about it. You really need to do something about your subconscious programming in the area of women and dating, and I'd like to help you."

Your mom isn't going to call you up and say, "You know, dear, I've been thinking about it, and I really put some bad ideas in your mind about how to treat women... I'd like to address those things in this call and help you become the mac daddy you've always wanted to be."

Nope.

You're not going to get a call from the guys that run the ads that say, "Show her that you love her by spending five grand on a pair of diamond earrings" to tell you that the ads really aren't true and that no amount of diamonds will help you meet women if you're programmed to act like a WUSSY.

It just ain't gonna happen that way.

If you want to do something about your programming and your success, you're going to have to DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

Here, let me say that again... just in case you didn't get it...

YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

And what's the best way to do it yourself?

This is a fantastic question...

There are a lot of ways to get it going, but I have a few favorites... and since we only have a little time together in this newsletter, I'll get right to the point...

1) Look around and pay careful attention to what's REALLY going on. Just like a comedian looks at the fine details and tells stories about things that we never see... but are right there in front of us, you need to look closer.

Here's a little story.

I was in Vegas awhile back for a visit. I hadn't been to Vegas in about 4 years, so everything seemed new to me... there were about 5 huge new hotels that had just opened, and I spent the day walking around and just seeing the sights.

As I walked around, I looked at the people... and especially at the couples. I'm not sure if it was because I was looking at all of the new sights or what, but for some reason I was really noticing a lot of little details... and I was paying
special attention to the couples that were strolling around on the strip.

It's always amazing to me how attractive women will be with guys of all shapes, sizes, and ages...

When you really look around and pay attention to what's actually going on, you'll be amazed.

And you don't have to be in Vegas to see this phenomenon yourself. Just go out on a Friday night and look around.

Now, before you say, "Yeah, but if you're rich or handsome or tall you'll get more chicks", I will acknowledge that these things can provide certain advantages, but they're not NEAR the level of advantage that WOMEN get from being physically attractive... not even close, actually.

The more I pay attention, learn and try things, the more I realize that women respond to PERSONALITY far more than they respond to LOOKS.

I've even made it a point to ask guys who are tall, handsome, etc., if they believe that their success with women comes from those things. Almost universally they tell me that their ATTITUDES and SKILLS are far more important than their looks.

I've also met a lot of tall, good-looking guys at my seminars who have INCREDIBLE problems meeting women. The more experience I have with this, the more I realize just how little LOOKS has to do with the equation.

You've probably read some of these newsletters where good looking guys write in and say, "I'm buff, good looking, and I have women talking to me all the time, but I can't get any dates... they only like me as a friend."

So, part of this step is for you to take a day or so and go out in public... to a place that is PACKED with people, and look around at the couples. Look with your own two eyes and see all of the attractive women that are with guys who are NOT what you would consider to be "physically attractive."

You need to see with your own eyes what's going on in the REAL world.

This is a big step in changing some of your programming.

2) Watch some guys who are successful with women.

One of the best things I've ever done is make friends with some REALLY SUCCESSFUL guys (I'm talking about success with women here). As a matter of fact, most of the techniques that I've learned, developed, and write about originally started out as something I got from friends by watching them interact with women.

When you watch guys who know how to make women feel that magical emotion called "ATTRACTION", you'll start to see the patterns in their behavior, and the patterns in the responses from women.

Nothing can replace watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and walk away 5 minutes later with her number.

So make some new friends if you have to. Just do what it takes to watch some guys interact with women. It's a big one.

If you're at a point in your life where you're too busy with work, etc. to get out and meet guys who are successful with women, then do yourself a favor and get my eBook, Double Your Dating... that will help a LOT. It's here.

3) Stop looking for a "magic pill". Realize that you're going to have to CONSTANTLY learn and improve.

I know, I know. You'd like to take a pill and have this whole part of your life handled.

You'd like a computer chip implanted in your brain that will change you into a chick-magnet.

Well, until these things exist, you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way... you're going to have to actually DO SOMETHING.

At first, it might seem a little uncomfortable. You might feel weird going out to a bar alone just to look at the people.

But don't worry, no one will care (remember what I said earlier... nobody cares whether or not you're successful, only you do).

The more you improve, the more you'll WANT to improve, and the easier it will become.

Read books, try things, experiment. Keep a journal, write down what works and what doesn't, think about the things you'd like to change and write them down.

JUST KEEP IMPROVING A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.

If you do these things, you'll begin to REPROGRAM YOURSELF and change your negative programming into POSITIVE programming and success.

Of course, the best place to start is with some of the materials that I've put together...

It took me years of trial and error to really figure out what works with women.

Repeat: It took me YEARS.

Years of trial and error.

I'm talking about trying out everything you can imagine...and having MOST of it NOT work.

Every time I found something that DID work, I took the idea, refined it, and wrote it down... then worked on it some more.

As you already know, I've taken all the stuff I've learned for myself and put it into the programs that I've created to help YOU learn this stuff much quicker and easier than I ever did.

One of the things I discovered while I was learning how to attract women, was that most men walk around with a DEEP INSECURITY inside.

It took me a few years to figure out something even MORE important:

That insecurity can't be fixed with "pick up lines".

And the reality is that it's MORE than just an insecurity issue...

It's actually that most men have never gone through the process of BECOMING a man who NATURALLY attracts women.

Oh, one more thing... if you haven't downloaded a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then what the hell are you waiting for? You can download it RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10000/eBook/

And by the way, make sure and forward this email to a friend and encourage them to sign up for my free newsletter. They'll appreciate it, and I'll appreciate it.

I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David Deangelo

Five Fundamentals to Get Girls Today

2006-11-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

(by Sean Newman, Pickup 101 Senior Instructor)

The dreaded death of mojo.

We all face it.

You wake up and the first thing you think is "I have to go back out there and do it again."

Doesn't matter if you've been picking up girls your whole life, or if you just started. The strong pull to do nothing never goes away.

Entropy. The tendency of ordered systems to fall apart and settle into inactivity.

Sloth. The desire to stay in bed and do, as we all learned from "Office Space," nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

But the girls are out there. They are there every morning getting coffee, waiting for trains and busses, walking to work, walking their dogs, doing stuff. Commerce. Activity. Life.

And you know that when you are having a good day, it can be easy to just strike up that flirty conversation and spark something. We've all had at least one night, maybe with good friends at a party, or a bar you really like, when it seems like no thing to turn your volume up a little bit more and run your silly fun little lines on the cutie who catches your eye.

We all already have mojo. But we don't control when it's on, and when it's off.

What do you do on those days when your mojo is sleeping?

How do you wake it the fuck up?

Here's are the 5 Fixes I use to get myself going every day.

It doesn't matter how long you've been doing this or how good you are at it. Remember, the best pickup artists in the world don't even think of it as pickup. It's not something they do. It's just something they are, every minute, every day.

Do these five things, and you'll peg your switch to ON all the time, and you'll never let an opportunity pass by again.

1. Say Hi to people and give smiles every single day.

Simple smiles and greetings, especially in places where that is not expected, change the way you feel. When you talk, you are out of your head. And your head is a very comfortable, but lonely, place to be. If you're only motivation for doing pickup is to bust a nut, you'll never be happy. But if you can consider that being a nicer, friendlier person is a gift to others, it takes the pressure off you.

2. Flirt before noon.

I don't wait for Friday or Saturday night to roll around. I schedule visits to places every morning where I know I'll run into cute girls, so I can keep approaching and keep re-enforcing good habits and good results.

The nice thing about flirting with girls in the daytime is that all you need is one banter line, and you are almost always going to get a smile.

3. Walk, and walk with a purpose.

Be aware of your body language every day. If you catch yourself feeling nervous or stressed, get up and walk around. Force a smile onto your face. Breathe deep and slow. Get moving.

4. When in doubt, just make her smile.

Every passionate relationship begins with the man doing something to make the woman feel good. There are lots of ways to start this... banter and teasing, sexy eye contact, or absolute sincerity. If you get stuck, or in your head, stop thinking about it as a pickup, and set your goal just at making her smile. Be selfless. You are a gift you share with women.

5. Go back to basics.

Instead of trying to run a scripted 20-minute stack, just do the pieces. Go back to warmups like you learned in Art of Attraction. Stop cute girls and ask them what time it is. Willfully lose yourself in the city so you can ask directions.

And when you really need a karmic boost, go with the old standard sincere compliment.

"I know this is a little random, but I had to tell you that you are very cute."

Start it by acknowledging that what you are about to do is a bit unusual. This shows your social intelligence and puts her at ease. Then tell her just what you think. Every healthy man finds attractive girls cute. There's always something there that catches her eye. And you know she spends most of her time and money working on it.

So tell her. Be a man who makes his world better, and you will find the world making things better for you.

These five fixes may sound a little too basic. I know, you want the super-advanced magic words to make panties just melt right off her thighs.

The truth is there are no magic words. There are no shortcuts, and there is no new technology that makes girls want sex more than ever before.

There are only fundamentals, and guys who do them well. Make these fundamentals part of your daily routines, and watch your results, and your total happiness, skyrocket.

It's pure pickup karma. The more good you do for others selflessly, the more it comes back to you. Stop worrying about how to get her home that night or destroy her boyfriend or overcome her socialized resistance.

Do it for her, not for you. You will get more comfortable and more confident, and then when you see that smoking hottie across the bar and know you have to wade through a see of stalkers to get to her, you'll have your mojo running high and a real smile on your face.

Mojo makes you a superhero. Learn to build it and bank it, and you can do anything.

PickUp101 on CNBC Money (Video)

2006-11-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

Lance and his henchmen from PickUp101 were featured on CNBC's On The Money yesterday. You can check out the video below:

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=c6714218-cb17-4f68-a5be-db40a8a2dd02&f=00&fg

They also just released a new Physical Confidence program. Very professional.

http://www.pickup101.com/physicalconfidence

Enjoy.

The Truth By Playboy (Stephen Nash)

2006-11-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

Stephen (PlayboyLA from The Game) just blogged a very revealing post on his experiences with the community, and how not to get fooled.

Why You Might Be Wasting Your Time

I tend to meet with client once per week these days, and a very common theme has emerged. Many of them emerge from working various programs, attending various workshops, reading every book known to man, only to be more frustrated and downtrodden because it doesn't seem to work out for them.

The carrot can't be caught in other words...

Not to entirely frustrate you, but usually guys who are good at the 'game' were good at it already...or pretty good at it already...the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place. Let me repeat that:

"the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place"

In other words, your diagnosis might be a bit off.

The community - whether it's a competing company, a web-board, a lair..whatever - thrives on dangling a carrot out there in front of you claiming that your life will change in 13 seconds if you just buy this product...etc...

This methodology is certainly lucrative - just ask Tony Robbins - but it doesn't usually translate into success. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX TO YOUR PROBLEM...and anyone who claims otherwise doesn't deserve your attention, money, time, or bandwidth.

Most of what you read online is total BS by the way - the webboards which feature endless posts by supposed experts are normally 30% truth. I have watched so many guys doctor and change their posts to relay a much larger, and more glorified representation of the truth. HB6's suddenly are HB9's etc.

So, what follows is a reasonable expectation for you - something actually attainable - and not something designed to get you to purchase my products.

1) Begin - analyze your social life. How many friends do you have? How many are male and how many are female? How often do you see them? How often do you go out with a friend or a group of friends? How do you meet new women (if at all)? How do you make friends? If you have had a relationship, how did it happen? (In my experience, a guy tends to meet women the same way his entire life - so, if the last 9 girlfriends you had were met via another friend, my money is on the next one happening that way IN SPITE of how you feel about cold approaches).

2) Once you have written down some honest answers, give yourself SMALL goals to reach with a month's time to reach them. So, if your social circle is 5 people - try to double it in a month's time. Within a month, your circle has grown to 10...

3) If you don't meet 5 new people on a weekly basis, your social life is not active enough. If that is the case, you need to branch out. Here are some ideas:

- classes
- events
- openings
- parties
- hobbies
- friends
- cold approach (notice how this is one of 7 ways...)

MOST couples come together via social circle - NOT THROUGH COLD APPROACHING - so, why waste your time trying to get good at that when you can easily get good at the others, meet TONS of new women (and make cool guy friends) and improve your lifestyle as a result?

Why put your life on hold just to get laid? Why not accelerate your life forward, and then get laid or even....meet someone for a relationship...

4) Lead your social circle - study all about John Goddard, make your list, get started and then invite everyone else to come along for the ride...LEAD in other words. Become the magnet to mission, purpose and excitement.

5) And by the way - what IS your mission or purpose in your life anyway?? Do you know? If not, now would be a good time to write a bit about that and start to get an idea...nothing as unattractive as a loose balloon being blown about by the wind...

6) Go to a tailor and get fitted for your sizes right away. Never buy clothing that doesn't fit again.

7) Get in shape - go to the gym MINIMUM 3 times per week. And if you want to know...I swim...and love it...great for the mind, body, joints, you name it.

8) Clean your apartment - do it tonight. Wash the dishes when you're done eating, and make your bed in the morning.

9) Go to the dentist, and have your teeth cleaned. Be sure to correct any bad breath issues you may have. You might be the nicest, coolest, most handsome guy in the world - and with bad breath, you'll never see approaching lips...

10) Stop wasting your time doing things you like, and only go things you love...

Now remember, set reasonable expectations on your progress. Nothing worthwhile is going to happen in even a month. But a year from now - and trust me, that is not long and is WAY shorter than the amount of time needed to get good at the cold approach - you can expect very significant progress and change, if you are diligent and disciplined.

If you want a girlfriend, and a healthy relationship - YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME DOING COLD APPROACHES. You must create a lifestyle and image which are attractive and healthy - you can't have a healthy relationship with another until you have one with yourself - which means honoring your deepest wishes, and the precious time you have here on earth (this is first and foremost)! Stop wasting time...start really living, and watch as your entire framework for relating to women change.

And to finish the first paragraph - my job, as a reporter recently noted, is to rewire guys away from the community beliefs, into beliefs which actually serve and are rooted in REALITY...that's what I do about once per week...not bad, but a shame that so many well-intentioned guys get such bad direction from other equally clueless guys...

For an example of such a website: www.spiritual-seduction.com (this 19 year old has been in the community for less than 6 months, hardly a "guru") Thoughts, comments?

For more Stephen Nash and his thoughts on the game, community and dating, check out his Seduction Master's Interview here.

Underground Zan Footage in Chicago (Video)

2006-11-15T22:09:00.000-08:00

Whoever put this online is awesome. I spoke to Zan briefly, and I need to get his seduction master's interview finished soon for you all.

This video was secretly recorded via PalmPilot after he spoke at a David Deangelo seminar in Chicago.

He speaks on some great points

* Being genuine
* Sincerity
* Internal game

I hope you enjoyed it.

Definitive Guide To Natural Bar/Club Game

2006-11-13T10:44:00.000-08:00

I've managed to pull up a really old post from a former PUA named Craig (from Elimidate). He has since retired from the community but this is one of the most comprehensive guides to natural bar/club game I've seen.

Craig's Method...The Natural Way

One of the main reasons why I succeed in bars and most go home alone is because I have a system, one that has taken me years to perfect. When I was first starting out in the game I tried all kinds of crazy things to meet women, from giving them business cards to doing card tricks, even trying to hypnotize them! I had a few successes here and there, but what always bothered me was that the techniques just didn't seem natural. Not to mention the fact that when I ran out of lines I would get run over. I knew there were guys out there who got hoards of women without even trying, and that was my ultimate goal.

A few years ago I had a major realization and I started pulling women like crazy. It came at a very frustrating time in my life, when I was about to throw in the towel and give up on being the guy who has women all over him.

My major turning point came when I decided to throw all I thought I knew about meeting women in the trash. I was so frustrated with the rejections and my weak successes that I decided I was just going to go out and have a FUCKING AWESOME TIME! I decided that if I didn't come home with anybody it wouldn't matter anymore, because I would have a blast, and make everyone in the bar have a better night because I was there!

I didn't get laid that first night, but I met more girls than I ever had before and I could not believe the positive responses I was getting. Girls were picking up on the vibe that I was only there to have a good time, and I was having such a blast that it was contagious! Girls that I talked to early in the night were coming back up to me and striking up conversations!

Its been many years since I first started on my path to mastery, and these days whenever I go out, I meet a lot of women, whether I want to or not! When I set out to write this book I took a hard look at what I do now compared to what I did then, and hopefully what I've found will help you to reach your goals faster than I did.

As you know my goal has always been to become a natural seducer, and when I was starting out I tried to watch the guys that got a lot of women in the clubs and learn from them. The problem was that I couldn't for the life of me figure out what they were doing that was so different. They usually weren't the best-dressed guys in the house, and almost never the best looking.

It didn't hit me until I started picking up all kinds of women that there was a distinct format to my style, and that format is the foundation of my success. There are dozens of little things I do to enhance my game, but they alone do not get me laid. You have to bake the cake before you can put on the icing!

The Circle Format

One thing I noticed when I first started doing this is that losers the in a club would stand around and drink and watch, while guys with game would walk around and make things happen. The guys with lots of game would be sitting at a table with different beautiful women around them all night like they were famous. That is where I wanted to be, and I discovered that you have to put a lot of walking and talking to get to there.

The thing I like about most clubs and bars is that they are built in a way that creates a good flow around the inside, and you can usually walk around the whole place in a big circle without having to backtrack. Walking around the club in big circles is the basis of my format, and it's what you DO when you are walking around that makes all of the difference.

When you first arrive at a venue you have to set a presence for yourself, and it's important to get in the right state of mind before you walk in. Think of yourself as the owner of the club, because tonight, the place is yours! Say it aloud! Whenever I walk through the doors of a club, I stop, look around, and say 'MY HOUSE!'

After you are inside and you check you coat, get your drink, etc., start your walk around the club. When you see a girl or group of girls you want to meet, go in and say something funny or interesting that isn't something they have already heard ten times that night.

An example conversation could go like this:

Me: (serious look) Hey! Are you guys going to like me better the 3rd time you see me?

Girls: Huh? What do you mean?

Me: Well I've already walked past you guys twice and you guys haven't said hi to me or hello or grabbed my ass or anything! What's goin on?

Girls: (laughing) Hi my name's Jen, and this is Carrie. What's yours?

Me: Craig. Nice to meet you. Now, next time I see you all I'm going to expect a warm welcome!

Here comes the MOST powerful part of this technique. After you exchange a few laughs MOVE ON OUT! This is huge because every other guy they have ever met has leached on at the first sign of acceptance and tried to hang out with them all night! How desperate is that? By ending the conversation first you have shown them that you are a secure guy who doesn't care if he sees them again, or if they talk to other guys. And why should you? You have many more groups of women to approach!

The whole idea here is to get them laughing, show them you are a fun guy that they would want to hang out with, then leave with them wanting more! In sales this is called a takeaway.

Do the same thing with the next group. If a girl is by herself don't leave her out of the loop, but don't use that as an excuse to latch on. If a conversation is going really well with a certain group or girl, it is ok to keep it up, just make sure that you are the one to end it and that you end it while both of you are still laughing and having fun.

This structure eliminates a lot of mistakes and conveys a lot of important things. Lets take a look at what's going on here, and why this works:

You are showing every woman you meet that you are a fun guy with a great personality.

Since you are only talking to each group for a short time and you are the one that is ending the conversation, you show them that you aren't desperate for their attention and you create a challenge. You leave them wanting more!

You will be seen talking to lots of women, which will make you look desirable and create competition. This is known as 'Social Proof', and creates a presence with everyone around you.

Â· You are creating a familiarity with these women, so the next time you see them, it's like you are old buds! The hardest part is behind you!

Best of all, this format allows you to meet tons of women while naturally walking around the club having fun. You are going to have a GREAT time and meet LOTS of people!

I relate this structure to fishing, because it reminds me a TV special I saw once on sharks. When scientists want to catch some sharks to study, they dump a bunch of blood and fish guts in the water to get them all riled up. There's no real meat in there, but it lets the sharks know that there is something around, and it gets them alert and looking for food.

This is what you're doing with your initial approach and takeaway. You are letting the girls know you're in the house and that you are different from the rest of the guys, and you keep them wanting more. I think they said it best in the movie 'Swingers'. It's all about letting the girls know that you're money and you're ready to party!

Starting the Frenzy

By the time you are finished with lap number one you will probably have talked to 10-20 girls, some alone and some in groups. There is no set time frame for how long this should take, because every club is different and some conversations will last longer than others. Sometimes I will finish my first lap without doing any approaches because there are no hot women in the bar. In those cases the first lap is usually my last!

On your second go-round you are going to see a few or all of the girls you met on the first pass, depending on the size of the club. Of course some of them will be in the bathroom, on the dance floor, gone home, etc., but new girls are always emerging to take their places. Don't get lazy and leave them out of the fun!

The girls that you are seeing for the second time already have a good impression of you, and now they've seen you talking with lots of other women, so they view you not only as ok to be seen with, but also as desirable to the opposite sex. I don't need to tell you that this is a good thing!

Now that you have gotten things brewing, it's time to pull out the bait and see if she grabs it! Your bait is what you do when you see a girl or group of women you have already approached. The goal here is to have a conversation start naturally, like it would if you had met them before.

Your bait can be the same type of thing you did the first time (Eg. Get her laughing with a joke about something in the club, tell a short funny story, ask her a question, etc.) or something on a smaller scale, like a look and a smile. Other things you could do would be to give her a high five, touch her glass with yours as you walk by and say 'cheers', or my personal favorite, and accuse
her of following you, and tell her to stop!

From now on every time you see her throw her some kind of bait and see if she grabs on to it. By throwing the bait you are giving her an easy way to start talking to you, and that is what you are waiting for. For instance, if you make a joke, see if she makes a funny comment back. If you touch her glass and say 'cheers', she might ask you what you're drinking. She may say something unrelated to your bait, like 'Nice necklace' or 'Where did you get that ring?' If she asks you a question it's always a good sign. One that I here all of the time is, 'You look familiar' 'Where do I know you from?' To this I answer, 'Do you watch adult movies?'

If she doesn't take the bait keep on walking! Some girls will take the bait right away and a conversation will start naturally, and other conversations might not happen until you have seen them 5 or 6 six times. That's a good thing, because every time you see her you are reminding her about you and building anticipation.

The most important thing you are doing here that most guys miss is that you are setting yourself up as a challenge. People don't value what they don't have to work for, and to most women, especially attractive women, men are too easy!

Imagine if you were a beautiful woman, and you had guys kissing your ass and begging to be with you your entire life. It gets old fast, and when a woman like this meets a man who doesn't put her on a pedestal and makes her chase after him, it drives her crazy!

Every woman loves a challenge, and this will separate you from 99% of the guys out there. Ask a few girls you know about this, and ask them to describe how a man can be a challenge to them. You will gain some really valuable insight.

The familiarity that this method creates is one of the reasons why it is so effective. If you do your job on the first contact with a new girl, or group of girls, the next time you see them they will remember you and all of their walls will have come down.

This plays a HUGE part when you are dealing with groups, because when women go out they will naturally try to keep their friends together and keep them from getting hit on. If you approach the group as a whole a few times and show them what type of person you are, it will make it much easier to isolate your target when that time comes. Instead of the girls being cautious about their friend leaving, they will be jealous!

Reeling in the Fish

After a few rounds in the club you are probably going to have a one or two women that you have a really good feeling about. Maybe the two of you had a great conversation, maybe she 'accidentally' touched your arm a few too many times, or maybe she is just the hottest woman you've talked to all night. Either way, it's time to close the deal!

Now that you have it narrowed down it's ok to seek your woman out, and the sooner the better. Make sure you stick with the bait formula. When you find her say something funny, ask her a question, or make a comment about something to give her the opportunity to start a conversation.

If she's with her group of friends, it's time to isolate her and make your move! You don't have to take her away from her friends completely, but it is important to get into a one-on-one conversation with her.

Remember, the main reason her friends may try to 'cockblock' is because they aren't sure if their friend is into you and they want to 'save' her. Hopefully when you were making your rounds you talked to the group as a whole, or they at least saw their friend give you a positive reaction. This familiarity will give you a big advantage.

Ending Conversations

It's always good to end a conversation first, and a great way to do it is to say, 'Hey it was nice meeting you, I'm gonna catch up with my friends. Maybe I'll see you later.

Saying 'maybe' is very important. It shows that you don't care if you do see her again, and it leaves her wondering if you will. If you say, I'll catch up with you later, she knows that she is gonna see you again and it removes part of the mystery and the challenge that women need to feel attraction.

On Group Approaches and Cock Blocks

If a girl is with her friends but they are out of earshot or already talking to others, it is ok to single her out and talk to her by herself. If her friends come back and interrupt don't worry about it. It's their job to watch out for their friend. Think nothing of it and include her friends in the conversation.

If one of her friends completely captures her attention for more than a few seconds, don't stand around like a puppy! If you were just throwing a little bait and the two of you hadn't really started talking yet, keep right on walking without saying anything. If the conversation was flowing nicely you can do one of two things.

Your first option is to end the conversation as you normally would, but shorten it to, 'Maybe I'll see you later' and walk away. If it's really on or it's getting late and your not sure if you will see her again, turn away at least 90 degrees and do something. Light a smoke, order a drink, check your phone, etc, and wait for HER to come back to YOU. If she doesn't come back, either start talking to someone else or walk away. When you see her again she will respect you for being your own person and not waiting around like a chump.

On-Going Cycle

The nice thing about this cycle is that it doesn't limit itself to one night, because you are always meeting new girls and throwing bait to old ones. I used to live in a smaller town with only 3 bars, and at the end of every night there would be certain girls that I had talked too only once and others that I had talked too 3 or 4 times a night for months.

Some of the girls would come around eventually and we would end up hooking up, while others became great bar buddies that would introduce me to their cute girlfriends! Damn I love this stuff!

When I moved to a bigger city I thought it would be different since there are literally hundreds of bars here, but I learned that every town has it's own bar scene and you will always run into a lot of the same people. The cycle continues!

The Natural Way

When I go out to a club I look like a normal, social guy that happens to get a lot of women. No one would ever label me a 'Lounge Lizard' or a 'Pimp', because to the untrained eye and the women around, it appears as though I am just hanging out like everyone else, and having a little bit more fun. This is very important because if a woman thinks you are a pick up artist and you do this all the time, you will have to work ten times harder to make it happen.

I have a friend that I go out clubbing with all of the time, but we never really talk about techniques since we have very different styles. He overheard me explaining this method to someone and said, â€œYou mean you are actually doing something when you are walking around like that?â€ And I hit the town with this guy all the time!

This format is designed to be a natural way to meet women. If you want to grab a drink or have a smoke along the way, feel free. You are there to have a great time! If you run into some of your buddies, by all means stay and have a beer. If you run into some girls that you know, stay and chat longer because the other girls in the club will see you (social proof) and your girlfriends
may know some cuties that you should meet!

Lance Mason's New Product (Video)

2006-11-13T00:41:00.000-08:00

This is a 2-1/2 minute video from the new Physical Confidence program by Pickup 101, done in the style of a Hollywood movie trailer.

It's pretty cool, I think you'll enjoy it.

This clip will give you a much better idea of what the Physical Confidence product is all about.

http://pickup101.com/physicalconfidence

I've Never Had An Orgasm

2006-11-09T13:17:00.000-08:00

I read that statement at the UK iVillage's Relationships Sex section today.

I found that pretty disturbing.

I remember one of the points Neil Strauss made, at the Mystery Method seminar in Vegas in response to a audience members question about women not sticking around after they've had sex, was "Is she having orgasms?"

Within the community we tend to be fairly self-improvement orientated which is great. We tend to put responsiblity in our own actions and not the womans. For the most part I think this is absolutely what we need to do. Sometimes, however a woman doesn't have orgasms like we would expect. I think the main cause of it, is an emotional connection and sexual technique.

In response to that woman's question... the following was given (which I think is valid):

Don't panic. There's almost certainly nothing wrong with you or your partner. But unlike men, most women have to learn to have an orgasm because each woman has a slightly different way of getting there. And you have to experiment in order to find out what works for you.

The first thing to realise is that for most women, intercourse alone doesn't bring them to orgasm. The secret to female orgasm is the clitoris - a small sensitive part of your genitals just above your vagina, that's the equivalent of the tip of a man's penis.

Now when your partner is penetrating you, he usually won't be touching your clitoris at all. There are three ways you could get the stimulation you need. First, by getting so worked up before intercourse that you're nearly at the point of orgasm - and then penetration finishes you off. Second, by either you or your partner sliding your hand down and touching your clitoris during intercourse. Or third, by finding a position for intercourse that means your clitoris is being stimulated, because your man's penis touches it as he slides in and out. But as I said, all of these need a lot of experimentation.

For an easy guide to sexual technique and the a guide to giving women that ultimate orgasm/s. Check out Secret Orgasm Tips that I've been referring guys to for awhile now.

Donovan

Physical Confidence (Video)

2006-11-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

Check out the latest video from Pickup101. What do you guys think?

There's a sneak peek page at Pickup101's new Physical Confidence page below:

http://www.pickup101.com/physicalconfidence/index.html

Coming soon... an Seduction Master's Interview with Lance Mason.

3 Secrets of Meeting Women Online

2006-11-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

If you've "tried" online dating, and not gotten the results that you wanted... or you'd like to learn how to write online personal ads that get MASSIVE RESPONSE, then go read this:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/10000/MeetingWomenOnline/

***SUCCESS STORY***

Well I have to say I was a little skeptical about your book at first. I've never been very successful with women. I've always been the shy, quiet type that treat women like a prize and act like a wussy. Well after a few newsletters I decided to give it a shot. Well it all made sense to me so I got your CD series and it's even better then the book. So I decided to try the C&F method.

I've been on some dating sites for a few years and occasionally I would get a response. A little over a week ago I changed my profile so I wasn't such a wussy and pleading with women with how good of a catch I'd be (as most women say they want a nice guy) In less then a week, I've gotten 5 responses. It's amazing. I'm only about half way through with the CD's too can't wait to see what else they hold.

JN from NY

>>>>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, Ye of little faith...

Remember something.

Women are always INTERPRETING everything you say.

In other words, they want to know what things MEAN.

When you say, "I'm a great guy" in your profile, a woman reading it says to herself, "yeah, right... If you were a great guy, then you wouldn't need to SAY it. You're probably a loser who WISHES that he were a great guy."

On the other hand, if you write a Cocky & Funny profile that talks about how picky you are and that you're trying this online dating thing as a last resort because all the attractive women you meet bore you... then a woman will think to herself, "Ah ha! A challenge! I'll bet you that I can get his attention...".

Great job, and keep me posted on your future success stories.

David

PickUp 101 Then & Now

2006-11-05T19:04:00.000-08:00

Hey guys.. check this out!

Here's a behind the scenes look at one of the top workshop companies in the community, something you rarely get to see.

Lance Mason (PickUp 101) is getting ready to release a new product called "Physical Confidence". It's about body language, self confidence, inner game, and kino.

During an interview about this new home study program, Lance said this is the product he's always wanted to make, but it has taken over 2 1/2 years, thousands of hours, and at least one previous version that he was too embarrassed about to ever sell.

It wasn't the material that was bad, it was the production quality. And according to Lance, the original Body Language DVD was just a nightmare to get from idea to finished product. Besides involving a girl he was dating at the time as the videographer, 2 hours of material was lost when the laptop hard drive went to the great electronics depot in the sky. PickUp 101 was a labor of love back then, so Lance didn't really have money to hire a real editor and actually tried to do it himself before realizing the production was doomed.

"I was so excited about this project until we had a screening for some of my workshop clients. The guys were brutally honest about the production quality, and in retrospect their honest comments still drive me to constantly improve my products. What amazed me was every one of them said they would buy it in spite of how it looked, but I realized we could never release it as a product."

To show what he's talking about, Lance released these shots from the old version and also sent some from the soon to be released product. Cool! You don't often to get a peek behind the curtains like this.

And this is a part of community history here, Lance's original Body Language DVD was filmed in November of 2004. For those of you with short memories, that's almost a year before Neil Strauss released "The Game".

In these screen shots you can see just how... ummm... rough around the edges Lance's first attempt at making a product was.

It's funny to see Lance speaking on camera for the first time. He get's the information across okay, but seems a little flat onscreen. His example student, Nate, was even funnier, he truly needed Lance's help (as an aside, Lance worked with this guy extensively and he went on to become an instructor. He even did demo's of some really tough sets on the Fearless First Impressions product. Hard to believe watching him in this video...)

Lance Mason's Orginal Body Language DVD
Nice Curtains...
And this one. A girl Lance was dating helped film this thing (probably Lance's first mistake). Look at her sticking the other camera in the frame of the shot!!!

Lance Mason's Original Body Language DVD
Now That's Professional Camera Work...

One good thing, at least Lance was dating hot chicks, even if they aren't so good at videography

Lance Mason's PickUp 101
She Definitely Works Better In Front of the Camera
Funny thing is, as goofy as this original body language DVD is, it's still the best thing I've seen on how to quickly change your body language to radiate confidence with women.

Contrast then & now.... The new version was shot on location at Project San Francisco by a professional audio/video crew during a 2-day special topics workshop (The original was filmed in Lance's bedroom with sheets as a background). Over 30 men were in the audience (not just Lance's roommates snickering as they passed his room).

Also in the new version, Lance has 3 hot women who are front and center contributing to the content instead of being 'behind the scenes'.

Here are some shots from the soon to be released Physical Confidence body language program.

Lance Mason's Physical Confidence Program
Lance Makes A Point For The Guys

Lance Mason's Physical Confidence
Insight From The Lovely Ladies

Lance Mason's Physical Confidence
The Reward For Having Good Body Language

Now the best part about all this is that Lance told me that he's agreed to release his grungy old ORIGINAL body language video along with his shiny new Physical Confidence program. He's ONLY doing this for the guys who pre-order the Physical Confidence program in it's pre-release before Thanksgiving.

I don't know about you... but I can't wait to get my hands on the newer edition...

The Need For Lifestyle

2006-11-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

I think I'll briefly cover an important topic that many men within this community often overlook.

It's the concept of lifestyle.

We all know that being rich and famous would attract the woman of your dreams... well, atleast a physically attractive woman. The question is... if you aren't rich and famous and leading a royalty lifestyle, what should you do?

Create it.

I recently held a party at my house that had over 3500 people attend. Having this event gave me all kinds of attractive stories, conversational topics, and social pull.

There's a trick, you have to beware of the woman that wants the 'man of the hour'. Typically, these are women who flock to you, without ANY effort on your part. Not wheat, just tares.

Unless you feel like having a roller coaster of a relationship, stay clear of these women.

Back to what I was talking about.

Imagine you were a woman. Would you want to be with a guy who works, comes home, watches some TV, goes to a bar, comes home, and repeats daily?

I hope not.

You need to start generating a lifestyle that you want to live. Something that you want to portray about your personality. Something Stephen Nash told me was, how you use your time, directly illustrates to your mind and to others how you value yourself and who you are.

I've foudn this to be true, 99% of the time.

When we feel depressed or unattractive, it's because we're really not doing the things we NEED to do with our time.

Like...

Traveling.

Like...

Taking up a new hobby.

Like...

Going for a hike through a forest.

Like...

Checking out that beach you've never been to.

The list is endless.

You'll notice when you start fulfilling these goals that you have, you'll start to see much better results with women.

Why?

Because you'll have more to talk about, more experiences, and you'll qualify her better. You'll want similar qualities in the women you date.

That's where its at. Experiencing life with them.

The definitive guide to lifestyle generation is found in Stephen Nash's (PlayboyLA) book, How To Get A Girlfriend, easily the best book on the topic, along with natural game social skills and how to portray your lifestyle in an attractive way.

Donovan

New Pickup101 Product Soon

2006-11-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

I've gotten news from high up in the Pickup101 crew that a new product guaranteed to knock our socks of is coming. Apparently it was video recorded/produced by some top notch video team.

Be looking back within the next few weeks for previews.

I hope everyone had a awesome halloween last night.

Donovan

How to Kiss a Girl

2006-11-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

Question from a PickUp 101 student that I just had to share...

"I was out at the bars yesterday and really hit it off with a girl I met there. We started making out, but then she started talking about how important it is for a guy to be a good kisser. Does anybody know of any good resources out there on the subject of kissing and how to be a good kisser?"

The very best way to learn is to get as much experience as possible.

This is where a real girlfriend, as opposed to lots of random pickups, can come in handy.

I got my first real girlfriend at 15, and I remember our first date was a Def Leppard concert that ended with 6 straight hours of making out. No sex. Just kissing and learning what felt good.

And with every girl since then, I've spent more time kissing than doing anything else. So go ahead and take your time. It's ok to not know just what to do yet... you're supposed to learn this one from doing.

Don't waste time looking for books or how-to's or anything. You have the best resource in the world in a girl who will TELL you what she likes. Ask her, and then listen. She says to go slow, go slow. Use more lips, less tongue.

And most important, don't EVER take it personally when a girl suggests something to you to make kissing or sex or anything else more fun for her. She's not trying to hurt your ego. She's giving you a gift that most guys would kill for. Pay attention and practice. Really pay attention. It's all trial and error. If you touch a spot and she moans, remember that spot. If you bite on her lip just a little and she goes weak, that's a good sign. But all girls are slightly different, so there's no sure-fire technique that always works.

Learn the basics through practice, and look to practice all you can. Hell, tell girls how much you love just kissing, and how you love girls who really enjoy it too. Chances are they'll be interested in sharing the experience with you!

You'll get it, kid. I mean, people learned how to kiss before the internet, so there's got to be some way.

- Sean

P.S. Donovan here.... Thanks Sean for the post. I've done a lot of making out, a lot of it is INSTINCT, taking it slow, and seeing what SHE does. Normally, attractive girls probably have alot more experience, so take there lead. THREE pointers: 1. Don't be too forceful 2. Don't be to lax. 3. Be submissive, then aggressive, and vice versa. Seems to work well for me.

Christian (Seduction Master's Interview)

2006-10-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

I completed this interview with Christian, the General Manager of Charisma Arts, just before I left New York City. I had a chance to have lunch with him at nice little cafe at Union Square, and we had a great time talking about the different aspects of pickup and dating.

I started and sold a software company and was in and out of University of Michigan as a history major before meeting Wayne and starting Charisma Arts. This is my real job, but I do consulting for other startups on the side.

How did you get introduced to this community, and was there an experience that made you want to improve this area, and when was that?

I am a relationship guy but was going through what was then a six-month period of single-hood. Around that six-month point, I spent $400 on three dates with a girl. I liked her a lot more than she liked me and when she told me that it just wasn't happening for her, I felt very frustrated. I think this is a common thing that brings guys into the community.

I was feeling very isolated - waking up alone, eating dinner alone, etc. One of the best things about this life, for me, is when you can share experiences with other people. It made me so sad to have dates, but still find myself dining at restaurants alone more often than not. Most of my college friends had left town and I didn't have a social network anymore.

An employee at my company was clued in to what was going on, and introduced me to some DavidD and Ross Jeffries stuff. I thought some of it was offensive but there was also a lot of valuable information in there. This particular employee was big into Juggler and was the guy who actually compiled the archives that we now sell on our website. This was maybe a year after I was introduced to the community.

Was there a main turning point after you discovered the communities techniques in which you finally felt you had reached a certain degree of mastery?

I was always ok with women, but I was coming off as arrogant to cover up some insecurities. There was no technique I learned that helped me past this. In fact, reading the DavidD stuff hurt me more than it helped. Not to knock him - he's like a handbrake when your car is about to hit a telephone pole - but it wasn't until I began to hang out with Wayne (Juggler) that I began to identify my real issues and attack those.

My big breakthrough came when I realized that I could be myself - appreciative, complementary, friendly - but do it from a position of strength, not supplication. The false strength that techniques and a lot of the community wisdom teaches left me single for about a year and a half after discovering it. It was a big step backwards and my friends were like "who have you become?" Girls were offended more often than they were charmed.

After a period of time, I began to just go out with the mentality that I'd try to enjoy and appreciate the people I was talking to. I don't remember when exactly this happened but it has made me such a happier person.

Have you had any mentors, and what specifics have they taught you?

Wayne is awesome - he is insightful and has been a great friend to me. Johnny taught me how to have fun in my interactions without being outcome-dependent. In fact, all of our instructors continue to inspire me. Dan was a former client of ours, at a bootcamp I taught. Now he is an instructor and I'm learning so much from him. It is weird how this happens but it is true that a social/reference group of uplifting people is greater than the sum of its parts. My friend Steve was also a big help for me - but he's not a "community" guy.

On that note, I think it is important that your reference group reflect your values, and not your interests. A lot of guys get involved in lairs or find wingmen who are interested in just going out and meeting girls. I hung out with people like this from time to time. But I've found that I'm happiest and certainly at my best when I'm with people who see and value the world as I do. It doesn't matter if we don't like the same music or share the same tastes in clothing. My benchmark is: does this person make me be a better person?

What was your hardest sticking point to overcome, and how did you?

The arrogant insecurity. I'd often talk about my car, or my job or whatever. Even though I knew it was hurting me, it was like I clung to those things. That blocked everything else - approaching, SOI'ing, everything... because I was so afraid of being judged, I was being very judgmental, and consequently, the only people I'd want to talk to would be people with whom I'd have a desired outcome in mind. It was insincere and socially ineffective.

Getting past this required a big shift in how I thought about people in the world. It happened by hanging out with guys like Wayne and Johnny. I read a lot and books like "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence," and "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" were big helps for me too. Finally, I pushed myself to do everything in a way that was opposite of certain instincts - kind of like George in that one Seinfeld episode - and I'd notice things clicking for me. This has been a spiritual journey as much as anything else.

In all the sets you've done, which approach has made you the proudest?

As for "trophies" - there was a playmate with whom I had a great interaction. She text'd me from Hef's 80th to the effect of "I just danced with Donald Trump but I can't stop thinking of you." But you know, I wasn't trying to "seduce" her when we spoke. I was just interested in talking with her, and lo and behold, we got along very well.

More imporantly, my current girlfriend is unbelievable - definitely one of the best human beings I've ever met. We met when we were both in relationships and when those ended, things just evolved as they do. By virtue of who she is and what is important to her, she challenges me to be a better person every day. I'm not so much "proud" of this. I'm just happy.

You practice what's known as "natural game", for those not familiar, what is the core of natural game, and how can someone bring that out?

"Natural Game" is basically a polemical term that stands in contrast to indirect game. I don't know that there is a definition of "natural game" that exists without the definitions the community has of indirect game or some of the other methods being taught.

What we teach is how to have conversations you want to have without reliance on other people's material. Anytime you introduce material, dishonesty, or things you don't really care about into a conversation, you are erecting barriers between who you really are and who she really is. They're going to come down at some point. Why deal with them at all?

So if you want to label what we teach as natural game... I suppose it is being able to be yourself from a position of strength. Yes, there is a model to each interaction, but when you get good, the model vanishes and each interaction is just sublime enjoyment.

Do you have any additional products coming out?

Yes. There will be a DVD sooner or later, some audio stuff, and a style guide. To me, style is a huge, huge thing. There is no such thing as the perfect opener, but the closest you can come is being well-dressed. I am opened all the time for my clothing, but you wouldn't call it peacocking in the feather-boa/platform boots/black fingernails sense.

Your current girlfriend seems like a great girl. I've had a chance to exchange a few emails with her. I'm impressed. Can you relate how you met, and some specific things you contribute to starting a relationship with her?

I'm so glad I have your approval Donovan ;)

This is a tough question to answer. Here's one thought. My last girlfriend and I got along on a level of shared interests. We enjoyed talking about and sometimes doing the same things and going to the same places. It was fun for companionship and for awhile, we had a great relationship. But we both realized, and her before me, that we weren't a good long-term fit. We didn't want the same things from life, want to raise our kids the same way, etc. As an aside, she's actually dating another community guy now who tried to schlep his way into one of our workshops under false pretense of being a reporter. I hope that works out.

Lauren and I quickly realized that even though our interests aren't identical, the core things that make us who we are line up very well. I've never enjoyed just looking into someone's eyes as much as this girl - it makes me feel connected to the world and more. That's not something you can fake. When two people come together like that, it just has a way of happening.

In terms of things that led to us dating... she tells me that I have a way of making people feel special. I could tell from the moment I met her that she was someone special, and I suspect that there was a lot of genuine interest on my part. It was easy to have honest conversations with her - we talked about things like sex, religion, and even taking a poop very easily before we started dating.

It comes down to this though - I find a lot of people interesting and I think that comes across with everyone I talk to. I happen to find Lauren more interesting and inspiring on almost every level than most people. I like to hear what she has to think but more importantly, I like to be around her because of who she is. I wish every guy could be so fortunate.

Some argue that most "natural" conversations are routine-based anyway, because of social conditioning, humans being habitual anyway etc, we speak with stories that have had good responses, and highlight things about ourselves that have previously been appreciated in set. What is the difference between routine based methods like that, and your natural methods?

There are two spoken parts to every interaction - what you say and what she says. Below that is the subtext - why you're saying what you're saying and how you're feeling about it. Of course we tell the same stories from time to time. But if I had to articulate a difference between "natural" and "canned" storytelling, I'd say that when I tell someone something - anything - it is meant to connect me with them and to get them to open up more to me. To share more of the "what she says" part. So I won't tell a story just to "demonstrate value" or entertain if it has no place in the conversation flow or what the other person is saying.

I'm not the best or smoothest storyteller. I use the words "like" and "uhhh" far too much. But I'm good at highlighting why I feel a certain way about something and I'm decent at setting up a segway for someone else to take over - ending with an open-ended question for example. This is stuff that we work on in the bootcamps.

If a new client is having a difficult time developing a masculine "identity". What do you suggest they do?

I think we are these organic entities with history, potential, and values that inform us in the present moment. A person's identity is going to be a function of these three things.

Your history is behind you and the best you can do is to frame it in the context of how you have learned from it. I had a pretty bad childhood socially, but a great family and a lot of things to learn from, and I'm thankful that I went through what I did.

Your potential is the possibility to fulfill your purpose. A lot of people have direction but no purpose. The former is where you're heading, the latter is why you're heading there. When those two things line up, and only then, are you able to say that you are excited about your potential. If you're not on that path, you need to do some thinking.

Finally, a strong set of values is core to a strong identity. One of the things that stuck out to me from Wayne's archives is that most people's values are castles built on sand - unexamined and untested. To try to elicit a woman's values and match those is weak. I think it is important to develop informed opinions on everything from human sexuality to job happiness to religion and spirituality. For example, I won't sleep with a person anymore unless I am in love with them. Without getting into why, I will say that that is a big part of my "relationship identity" and it is something that is with me whether I'm with someone or not.

Do you have any ideas for overcoming shyness or low self-esteem?

Low self esteem should be dealt with by trying to become more assertive about your identity - see above.

Shyness is tough too. The best thing I can say is that if you are not outcome-dependent in your interactions with people you can approach them much more easily. Some people are just shy and they shouldn't be ashamed of that. Chad, who is one of our instructors, is pretty shy, but he makes it work for him. Its something we deal with regularly in bootcamps, but I can't do justice to the issue in a few lines here.

What do you think is the most important skill of attraction? What do you recommend to master it?

A big smile and a reason for having it. The most attractive guys I know are happy people and they bring that with them to every person they meet. Lauren's little brother is going to be a lady-killer. He is the happiest guy I know and I can't think about him without smiling. Johnny and Kory are the same way. Who doesn't want to be around a person like that?

It then becomes a matter of indiciating intimate interest (what we call the SOI) and letting things progress from there. It is funny; once guys get past approach anxiety, they often have huge SOI anxiety. This is second most important after being a fun, happy person.

Have you found any specific conversational topics to be more interesting to women, and how do you present those topics?

Women love talking about relationships and interpersonal dynamics. They like talking about sex, but only in the abstract at first. They like talking about the things that make them happy and sad. Most importantly, they like talking about how they feel about things.

CA teaches how to "headline" things. We had a client who wrote software for the FAA and wasn't enthused about it. Now when a woman asks what he does, he tells her that he makes it so that her plane doesn't crash into the radio tower when it is taking off. It generates a laugh and prompts more questions. We helped him identify what about his job was rewarding, and that's something he can now share with people in a much more interesting way.

I don't recommend talking about computer games with women or with most people in general. I just bought an Xbox 360 and no one in my life wants to hear about it (they'll change their mind when they see the next Splinter Cell, though).

How can you differentiate yourself from other attractive guys when you're trying to get that "popular" woman of the group?

Dress well and uniquely. More importantly, disqualify yourself to the group. As an "amog technique", disqualification has no peer. Some guy asks what kind of car you drive - you could say "I have an M3" or you could say "a car that uses way too much gas. have you seen how expensive that shit is these days? I'll tell you what I would like - a car that is powered by hydrogen." When you answer the former, you're qualifying yourself to him. When you say the latter, you're not only implying that his question is irrelevent to you, but you're reframing it as a question that everyone can relate to. Popular women are used to guys qualifying themselves to them. Do otherwise and you will win every time.

What's your personal technique for cold approaching at a party/public when the girl is alone, etc?

I hate to be vague but there is no personal technique, per se. It depends on the situation. I'll sometimes try to find what Wayne calls a floppsy (more on that in his eBook). But there is no one opener.

Half the time it's "Hi, I'm Christian. What's your name?" Dan wrote an awesome, awesome blog on our site about the first few minutes and how to get into the conversation.

What do most guys do wrong with flirting?

They push but they don't pull. Bad: "I don't know about you - that southern accent is a little much for me." Good: "I don't know about you. I don't normally like southern accents. But yours suits you well - in fact, its kind of sexy." Our instructor Matt did this second one almost verbatim at a New York bootcamp a few weekends ago. He pushed her away, but pulled her back in.

Guys have trouble coming up with interesting conversation that is attractive, engaging and unique from a woman's perspective. What advice can you offer?

Read Wayne's books and take our bootcamp. That is what we teach and are known for.

The biggest thing is to relate on an emotional level. Talking about "things" is boring.

What are some ways to generate a fun, interesting, successful and encouraging social circle around you?

My friend Andre has more female friends than anyone I know. It is because he is really, really fun. He gets everyone to stay out later than they should, drink more than is safe or reasonable, and dance on tables when they are starting to get bored. Being the funnest guy of the group has its benefits. But that is not 95% of the world. If you have the fundamentals down (a strong identity and being a good conversationalist), you need nothing more than to start meeting people and hanging out with the ones you like. In most major cities, there are great social events. Join an art nonprofit in New York or a the WAKA kickball league in DC or find a way to get invited to Chad's parties in LA. If you're from a smaller town, it should be easy to get to know people - they'll go to the same places on the same nights.

With all this stuff, its like tennis, business or cooking - learn the trade before you learn the tricks of the trade. There is no substitute for being a fundamentally strong person.

Thanks for the chance to interview - you have asked some great questions here.

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

Getting Back Into "The Game" With Women

2006-10-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

***QUESTION***

Hi,

I've read your newsletter for a few months now and just recently got your book which is fantastic. First off a little background here. I was married for 11 years (I'm 33) and basically was either dating or married to same person for 13 years. I have been divorced now for a few months, and was actually separated for over a year before I got divorced. Having been out of the dating scene for so long I was pretty much clueless (a lot has changed). I've always been a very funny guy and cocky to an extent, but in many ways what you would consider a "wuss". I've always considered myself a nice guy, considerate, caring, etc. You know, how mother taught you to be. I've realized that those qualities are great of course, but don't help a lot in the dating scene. Once I started more of the cocky routine, it's been amazing. Like I said, I've always been funny so I guess I have a head start already.

Anyway, I've had some really "hot" dates in the past couple months with the help of your book, but one of the biggest problems I have in getting dates is the fact I have been divorced and have 4 kids. I don't consider this a problem whatsoever, they're a huge part of my life, but I know the way women think sometimes and view this as "baggage". Is there any advice you could give me on how I can incorporate some of your philosophies and techniques into over coming this persona of "baggage" and help me attract more women?

On a side note. This is a strange success story here (if you can consider it that haha). Like I said before I was married, and she is a really beautiful woman. Just for the hell of it I decided to start using the c&f routine on her every chance I could (we still get along pretty good as "friends", btw). I thought it would be good "practice". Anyway, last weekend I was over dropping off my kids, and she says "JC". I said, "what?". I walk over to her bedroom (where she was at) and she says out of the blue "get on the bed now!" She was kidding and it threw me for a loop, but I just said "in your dreams!" Shocked she said, "WHAT?" I replied with, "maybe in our next lifetime". I then proceeded to end the conversation and leave quickly after that (had a date haha). Two nights ago she calls me at home, and basically asked me out. I said what the hell! So, we went out last night (kids were at her sisters), and let's just say that after 3 years of not having sex with her, I forgot what I was missing!! So there's one for you, "how to get your ex wife in bed with you again!!" LMAO In case you're wondering, no way no how, will I ever go back to that relationship (but sex on the other hand...hell yes!). There's a different kind of "success" story for you!

J.C.

>>>>>>MY COMMENTS:

In your email you point out something very, very, VERY interesting. You say:

"I've always considered myself a nice guy, considerate, caring, etc. You know, how mother taught you to be. I've realized that those qualities are great of course, but don't help a lot in the dating scene."

Well said.

It is SO important that guys understand the distinction between "dating scene" and "long-term relationship scene" when it comes to women and interacting with them.

Many of the things that make a long-term relationship great will KILL your chances
INSTANTLY with a woman that you don't know. I'll talk about this more in a moment.

I think that as guys, most of us want to do the right thing, treat others well, and live with integrity.

There are of course exceptions to this rule, but I think that most of us know at a very deep level that treating others well, being honest, having integrity, and living an authentic life leads to happiness... while being dishonest, treating others poorly, putting our integrity aside for selfish reasons, etc. leads to that constant, negative, dragging state of body and mind.

The problem arises when we go out into the world to find a mate. It matters not whether we're looking for a wife or a one-night stand...

As soon as we see a really attractive woman, most of us guys become nervous, self conscious, and insecure. We feel excitement and fear at the same time. The first impulse is to approach and give compliments in a way that says "You are a beautiful goddess, and I am a mere mortal man... Please, if you would, see your way clear to give me a chance to show you how much I adore you."

If the goddess indulges us for a moment, the next impulse is usually to provide gifts and food, and to show her what a great provider we are.

Of course, not every man experiences things in exactly the same way, but you can probably empathize with what I'm saying.

Here's the deal:

I USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THIS. I know EXACTLY what it's like to want a woman's attention but not know how to get it... so I'd give compliments, offer gifts and food, and try every other "nice" trick in the book.

I did this for a long time. Many years, in fact.

I used this strategy long enough to realize a few key things:

1) Approaching women this way doesn't usually work. They immediately sense your insecurity, and mentally classify you as "average" and "like the other 10 guys that approached her today", etc.

2) ATTRACTION is a completely illogical process. ATTRACTION also isn't a choice. ATTRACTION is a response to certain things... and it happens on it's own.

3) Being a good guy is an important part of life. Treating others well and always doing the right thing leads to things like: A) Liking yourself, B)Happiness, C) Good friendships, etc.

4) Being a "nice guy" when it comes to women and dating, especially when it is used enough to make you qualify as a WUSSY, is a REALLY REALLY BAD idea.

5) There are certain techniques that can be learned which will help you get past the initial meeting and dating period... and help you not only stand out as a "not average" guy, but also create the magical emotion of ATTRACTION inside women.

6) The great news is that you don't have to be ultra handsome, rich, or famous to do it.

The gist of what I'm saying is that if you know how to create this ATTRACTION inside of women, then you can overcome just about any "social stigma" that might be attached to you (yes, even 4 kids!).

Some people get upset when they read about my techniques... they don't like the idea of making fun of a woman, busting her balls, being Cocky and Funny, etc.

They just want to "be themselves" and have a woman "like them for who they are".

Most of the time, it's because they don't really GET that the woman should be having FUN when you do these things... and if you want to learn how to bust on women and be Cocky & Funny WITHOUT upsetting women.

Where was I... Oh yes...

Of course, these same guys ALMOST ALWAYS like to buy women flowers and dinner, give compliments, accept manipulative behavior... and generally do ALL KINDS OF THINGS that I consider "very manipulative" and "not-at-all-being-yourself" kinds of behavior.

Go figure.

The point is that when you made the comment about the qualities that make up "nice guy" don't really help you out when it comes to women and dating, you REALLY hit the nail on the head.

It's not that you have to be an abusive-loser-jerk, but you must realize that there are certain qualities that aren't what one might consider "nice-guyish" that PUSH THE ATTRACTION BUTTONS inside of women.

These are the things like being Cocky and Funny, teasing women, busting on them, and generally being a challenge.

If you decide that a woman you've met is "long term" relationship material, then you can start doing the things that you'd do with someone who has earned your respect and trust. It's at this point that doing "nice guy" things makes more sense.

BUT WATCH OUT! Don't unexpectedly turn in to Mr. Wussy just because a woman wants to have a relationship with you. Nothing can make a woman want to be "just friends" faster...

No matter what you do, you still must maintain a balance.

So to answer your question about how to overcome the objection to four kids...

First, realize that the women you're meeting fall into roughly a few categories:

1) Those that aren't interested at all, no matter what. Maybe they're gay, happily married, not interested... or all of the above.

2) Those that are interested in being with you for some short term fun, but aren't interested in a relationship at all.

3) Those that are interested in short term fun while they're single, but would like to pursue a relationship if they meet a good match. Here we have two sub- categories: A) Those that object to the four kids thing, and B) Those that don't.

4) Those that are only interested in a long-term relationship. We also have the sub-categories here... Those that object to the kids, and those that don't.

My first question to YOU is: "Which type of woman are YOU looking for?"

Sounds to me like you're looking for a #3, option B... a woman who's interested in some short-term fun, who would like to pursue a long- term relationship if she meets a good match... and is open to the kids. (If you're only looking for a woman who's after short term fun, then the kids don't really matter. Just don't bring them up.)

My perspective: Date some women, and BLOW THEIR MINDS with the techniques you've learned. Use the Cocky and Funny material... dial up the ATTRACTION... if you get physical with them, make it UNFORGETTABLE.

My experience is that if a person is REALLY ATTRACTED to another person, they'll put aside all obstacles in order to be with the object of their desires.

Yes, this means 4 kids and an ex.

If I were you, I'd project the attitude that you're not interested in any woman that can't adapt to the situation. Communicate that YOU'RE the one doing the selecting, and it will cancel out a woman's objections before they even arise. Think about it.

I personally know guys that have gotten past "obstacles" that almost seem IMPOSSIBLE to overcome...

Raise YOUR OWN standards, and you'll find that this has a magical effect on the way women treat you.

If you're reading this right now, and you're in a situation in life where you'd like to get back on track and start having more success with women and dating, then it's time for you to take action.

Just sitting around HOPING that something will happen or that you'll "get lucky" isn't going to do it.

If you just WAIT for something to happen, there's a VERY LIKELY chance that you'll either wind up ALONE for a VERY long time... or you'll wind up with a woman that you don't really enjoy that much.

It's up to you to actually take responsibility for this area of your life... and to go get yourself an education on how to be successful with women and dating.

The best place to do it?

Check out my best-selling, Double Your Dating ebook. It gives you the basics of attraction and dating. Are you letting time slip away? Act now, and download it here.

David Deangelo

What To Do When It All Goes To Hell

2006-10-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

A short one today.

What do you do when your game is at it's best and everything seems to go to hell?

I'm talking about when you make plans with girls, they flake, your girls on the side don't call back and you just feel like crap.

Well..

This is what I do.

I take a step back, don't get emotionally involved and spend time with myself. Call up some friends and just chill with people who care about you.

This helps me refocus and let me realize that it's not the me. It's the circumstances.

Don't worry, next week it'll all be better!!

Tynan's Angel's Workshop

2006-10-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

Tynan of Project Hollywood (now in Texas) has been running his Tynan's Angels site for a while now. For those who haven't heard, its a place where attractive women give advice on seduction, fashion etc from their perspective.

The site has become popular, and they will be running some workshops down in the Austin , TX area soon. Only 5 spots are available, and you can check out what other unique things you'll be doing on the workshop at his site here.

Good to see seduction training/info coming from another viewpoint. Cool.

D

Why Women Won't Call You Back

2006-10-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

A great post (click on the BLOG link) over at Stephen Nash's new blog titled "Why Women Won't Call You Back".

Here is a snippet:

How many times have you found yourself wondering, "does she like me, or not?" Maybe you have just met her, and simply cannot tell. Or, maybe it's the third date, and you still feel uncertain.

Listen, women are subtle. They will usually indicate their interest to you, or not, indirectly. They are not going to run up to you and shout into your ear, "I AM INTERESTED, KISS ME NOW PLEASE!" OK?

Likewise, they are not typically known for being blunt either. So, expecting her to simply tell you that she has lost interest is unreasonable. In this series, I uncover the common signals that women send to men indicating their lack of interest. Also, with each "symptom", I will offer a "cure" for fixing this issue the next time.

He goes over a bunch of the reasons, and gives his take on the remedy for each. Very useful.

Donovan

Fearless First Impressions DVD

2006-10-20T20:42:00.001-07:00

Lance Mason over at Pickup101 stopped producing Fearless First Impressions, it's about the first 3 minutes with a woman, breaks down body language, what to say, and how to interact with a group. Over 4 or 5 DVDs.

About 3 months ago they ran out of stock, and stopped producing it. Alot of guys emailed me and asked me if they were going to produce more. I told them NO. Mostly because Lance told me that they had finished and were releasing a newer product on the market that would cover the basics but not as indepth as perhaps FFI would be.

So they stopped.

Then I get an email that said they still had a limited amount of DVD sets for FFI. Because its Lance's special super duper birthday sale, they decided to sell the reserve stockpile of them. I'm letting you guys know, if you want a copy of FFI, then you need to get over to Lance's special birthday sale page RIGHT NOW. They only have a few more left.

Not only do they have a few copies of it, it's actually marked down in price. The sale ends in a few days time. FFI will then be gone.

Get it while its hot, FFI wont last.

Breaking News: PUA Piece on Dr. Phil

2006-10-19T17:17:00.001-07:00

See the Mystery Method Dr Phil episode (2008.04.11) and read the commentary over at the new blog.

Got this email from Neil Strauss today.

First of all, I wanted to thank and congratulate you all for the massive success of the Bookmission. I'm really psyched to come out of my writing cave and give this rare seminar and meet some of you.

Secondly, I wanted to share some thoughts on an experience I had this week.

I received a call from two producers on the Dr. Phil show. They wanted me to come on and discuss The Game and the community with Dr. Phil.

However, the more I talked to them, the more it seemed like a set-up. So I declined. Instead, they got two of the people in The Game to participate.

And they did a few sneaky things, according to those who were on the show:

1. They filmed some guys sarging, but planted women with secret cameras in the club.

2. They didn't tell one of the PUAs that another guru was going to be on the show, then they encouraged the guru to be adversarial. The result was a PUA slugfest that sounded like a bad day at Project Hollywood.

3. They brought out a woman at the end of the show who'd been hurt by a man who was NOT in the community to confront these guys.

The working title of the segment: WOMEN, BEWARE!

This information just broke my heart. It really infuriates me.

When I wrote The Game and went on to do the press, I told myself that I would neither DEFEND nor ATTACK the seduction community. I'd simply present the truth as it was, the good and the bad.

However, the more interviews I did, the more I realized I was going to have to defend something: The right of guys to learn this.

Anyone who's ever seen the front page of Cosmopolitan or Sex in the City knows that self-help, sexual improvement, dating advice, and attraction skills is an accepted rite of passage for women.

There is no equivalent for men: We are simply shown images of women we are supposed to desire in the pages of Maxim and Playboy, then not told what to do about it.

People get tutored for everything else in life. If you can't do math, you get a tutor. Sex in the City was women getting tutored in what to do with different types of men. I think the coolest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to improve it.

When guys ask me questions, it's usually not about what to do to trick a woman into bed -- it's about how to get over heart- break, whether Alexander Technique will improve their posture, whether improv classes will make them more spontaneous, what to do about "this one special girl," how to dress, and so on.

Though some of the "gurus" may have their issues, 99.9 percent of the guys I met learning this are the NICE GUYS. They are the guys women always say they are looking for, yet at the same time are never attracted to.

Usually, the true assholes, jerks, and misogynists are too cocky and arrogant to even consider that they might need to "learn" how to interact with women.

So anyone who's going to get on a bully pulpit and demonize men for trying to improve themselves is not a friend of mine.

And any pundit who's going to criticize men for manipulation when that's exactly what their show producers regularly do to their guests is not a friend of mine.

The community may have its problems -- especially for those who get sucked too deeply into it, as I did -- but there's nothing wrong with learning social skills, if you're learning from the RIGHT teachers.

The real victims in my experience were not women. The victims I witnessed, the people I saw hurt by the game, were only men. Because the game is a forking path: there's a light side and a dark side, and some get lost in the dark side and lose themselves -- in addition to creeping out the very women they're trying to attract.

As a writer, I understand the temptation members of the media feel to create an obvious sensationalism piece. But it's far better to do the research and find the REALITY of a situation -- and it makes a better story. Because the reality is often never obvious. Sometimes it's the last thing you'd ever expect. That's what most of my books are about.

I realize this email is sort of a rant, and perhaps I'm even preaching to the converted, but I had to get it off my chest. There are some 35,000 of you on this list. Some of you are in positions of influence or respect -- whether on campus, in the media, at home, at work, or in a community.

Let's do our best to counter small-mindedness and social pressure designed to hold US back because of someone ELSE'S fear wherever we hear it. Whether it's about learning the game, a personal attack against you, or something else you care about, don't take the bait and get defensive. All you have to do is speak the truth. It's the best weapon you have, and so sharp that no one can ever bend it if you wield it properly -- without fear or insecurity.

And that's one to grow on,
Neil

Seduction Podcast Reviews

2006-10-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

Here are links to the TWO best podcasts within the seduction community.

Why do you need podcasts?

Well, for one they're 100% FREE.

Two, they have the tonality and voice of a pickup artist. (Invaluable too see how they speak, and structure their wording/sentences)

Three, world-class advice. Some of these guys have been in the community since the beginning back in 1998 or so.

Four, convenient. Just download through iTunes and get instant updates.

The first one is Stephen Nash (PlayboyLA), (read his interview with me here).

Stephen is the dating guru based in New York City, he was one of the members of Project Hollywood (The Game). I met him while I was in New York, I actually took a personal consultation from him. He took my game to another level, from pickup to confidence and being 100% natural. He gave me a fashion consultation which dramatically increased women's comments and attraction towards me (crazy but true).

Stephen is posts weekly podcasts and he gives straight forward practical advice. His latest podcast is on personal STYLE and how that effects your game, and how you can project a masculine, dominant and "cool" vibe.

Check out his podcast on his MEDIA page here.

The second podcast that I highly recommend is the co-host of Seduction School, Juggler aka Wayne Elise. (Charisma Arts)

His advice is to be natural and genuine by expressing your personality in the most attractive way possible.

Juggler's advice is brilliant by simplicity and it meshes like Nash's into all other pickup methodologies. His advice is congruent, and I love listening to his coaches about kino, flirting, storytelling and SOIing. They have quite alot of audio content on the podcast so go to Juggler's website Charisma Arts and subscribe to it.

Let me know what you think!
Donovan

Lance Mason's Birthday

2006-10-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

Lance Mason, Pickup 101 founder is celebrating his birthday. Congratulations Lance. Hopefully this upcoming year will trump lasts.

I met Lance while he was teaching an Art of Attraction workshop while I was working in New York City this Summer. This guy really is genuinely interested in seeing guys succeed. I'm pretty sure he's a millionaire dotcommer that's taken a pay cut just to help guys. Don't quote me, but how else can he get away with such LOW LOW prices?! lol

He's got a special birthday sale right now on ALL his products (including workshops). Take a look at this special webpage, and see if anything tickles you fancy!

Talk soon mate,

Donovan

Will You Get Better With Women?

2006-10-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

Over this past year I've been posting about being successful with women. Guy's come seeking alot of different things: girlfriends, one-night stands, multiple partners, and spouses. To each their own, and I find it inspiring when men take the initative and take small (and major) steps to improve their lives.

The truly brilliant thing is when you start becoming better with women, you start to lead a happier more fulfilling life. You actually improve all other areas of your life.

Sounds strange, but by fixing your problems with dating, you ultimately help your relations with all people around you. Which inturn helps you have more confidence to start a new job, mend old relationships with family, or who knows what.

Isn't that what it's about?

Improving your life, and controlling your lifestyle.

Theres a slight problem though...

Sometimes the solutions are right there but we don't ACT.

I discovered something recently, that procrasintation is DIRECTLY related to DEPRESSION and INACTIVITY.

What this means is, if you're feeling down, it's because you aren't evolving and progressing into who you're suppose to be!

This is massive problem with men. I think this is the BIGGEST problem with men.

When a man acts with purpose, doors open for him.

This is true with finances, careers, family, addictions, and most importantly (for us) WOMEN.

How many times have you been invited to go out with someone, and you've said in your mind...

"It's gonna be alot of fun, but I can't be BOTHERED," then your mind starts making up excuses for you not to hangout. Like, "Nothing ever happens there anyway," or "There's no hot girls there", or my personal favorite, "All the girls are shallow and whores!"

Ha ha

The important point is that your mind makes excuses for your inactive behavior, which inturn makes you LESS motivated to make things happen.

Like I said before in other words, INACTION is the key to MISERY.

So what can you do?

Well, identify your problem.

Are you not getting dates? Are you feeling depressed? Are you not getting the type of women you want? Do you wish you could have a lifestyle more like your dreams? Do you feel your destined to be great, but suffer from lack of action?

It's time to get your life handled.

Your hear on the internet, searching for your problem: wanting to get better with women.

So what can you do?

You can take action!

You need a foundation.

I don't care how much success with women you've had. You need some basis and understanding of how women tick, what makes them tick, and how you can trigger the tick.

I've been using Double Your Dating techniques (with other things) for a while now, and I can honestly say, it's helped me gain a much stronger perspective with women and dating. It's defintely the cheapest, and most directed start to your future dating lifestyle.

Alot of people think Double Your Dating is the definitive guide to dating. Maybe, maybe not.

What I do know is that the principles in it, GOVERN all the other dating guru's advice (directly or indirectly).

If you're starting out, and haven't made this investment in your life, you need to.

It's a cheap price to gain more confidence, direction, purpose, and social skills.

You'd be suprised by the emails (and photos) that I get from guys. Before and afters.

I'm shocked, and that's why I love running this blog. It helps guys. It helps them take control.

That's why I give you advice. I've been there (with many others), and there is hope. You just need to take ACTION.

If you're not ready to purchase Double Your Dating, why not just signup for his free newsletter? (Which is filled to the brim with insider dating secrets, pickup lines, techniques, and theories)

You know how you can't tell someone unless you've been there...

Check it out here

Remember: TAKE ACTION, and DO.

Till next time,

Donovan

He Said/She Said: A Perfect Pickup and Both Sides of the Story

2006-10-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

A new kind of field report. His story and her story. If you want to get the girl AND make her happy, you need to know what she thinks, and what she feels. You need to know HER story.

I met my girlfriend one sunny afternoon in the city. I was in the middle of teaching Art of Rapport I didn't know her, and she didn't know me, but after 10 minutes, we felt like we were supposed to know each other.

This is the story of how it happened.

Both sides of the story. Mine and hers.
He Said/She Said:

Him: She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Warm, honey skin, soft brown eyes, long lashes, silky hair flowing under a funky cap, just a touch of sparkly blue eye-shadow, and a sly smile under pillowy lips.

Her: First of all, let me tell you something about myself. I'm not your typical shy, submissive asian girl. On the contrary, guys are intimidated by me. I'm very sensible and I'm very proud of my logical brain.

Usually with guys, I can sense the bullshit coming miles away. I tend to be very dismissive of guys' so-called "lines." And i thought i was immune to pick-ups. that is, until i met Sean. He blew me away and i was just too taken aback to react with my "logical brain."

And one more thing, about the time that this happened, i was a little upset about boys, the last thing i want is to date one.

Him: It's a crowded Sunday in a little café in Union Square in San Francisco. Workers are putting up the giant Christmas tree, and shoppers are everywhere. It's not quiet, calm, and peaceful. People are jostling about, and everyone can see everything. Perfect. Put this on display for all to see -- this is exactly what I have prepared for.

Her: It was in November. I was really tired that day and i was dazed. I just wanted to get my cafe mocha and sit. There were a lot of people in the little cafe, standing in line, wanting to buy the pretty little pastries displayed on the glass window. I remembered being a little annoyed with the crowd. So crowded and loud, i just want to be away from the noise. I smiled at the guy behind the counter and flirt a little. And then, off with my coffee.

Him: Get in line for food and keep looking at her. I fix her image in my mind. I look away. Let the nerves build up. Feel it in my chest, in my heart. I want this beautiful girl. I want her so much. I want her to have my kids, and her kids, and walk hand-in-hand on the boardwalk on the beach, win her giant stuffed animals for her at games of chance, snuggle on Sunday mornings, and buy her sparkly things to make her smile. I let all the silly and wussy and once-again-silly thoughts fill me up. I will use them as fuel.

I will walk up to her, alone. I will have no pretext, no introduction, no excuse. It will be her, and it will be me, and in this secret world, we will be. I want the nerves. I want the fear. I want this to be hard. For a man who didn't know what he was doing, that would make it impossible. For me -- for me it makes it perfect.

Her: My friend was at the corner of the cafe, trying to find us seats. We have to be like vultures, otherwise we have to sit outside drinking coffee in the chilly november weather. We finally managed to find a nice square table tucked away in the corner of the cafe. I took the seat facing the window outside with my back towards the line of people.

Him: My single 100%-perfect girl takes a seat at a table right behind me -- with her 99%-perfect girl friend. She's here, now. I know from experience if I leave now, without meeting her, it will wake me from a sound sleep when I am old and grey, and the not knowing will haunt me like a ghost.

Fuck it. I have studied, practiced and worked at this for a reason. This girl is the reason. She is the one that brought me here today. When you find the princess, she will not be waiting for you on a bed made of Twinkies and tits. She will be in a castle, guarded by a dragon, behind a wall of flames. Walk through the flames.

I step out of line. Walk to her table. I feel every eye upon me. Stand at their table. They both look up.

I say nothing. I don't worry about what to say. My hands are down, my eyes are steady. I open my mouth.

"I was on my way out, and I saw you."

"I couldn't leave without meeting you. May I sit?"

Her: The second after we sat down, right before i opened my mouth to chatter away, i felt a soft tap on my left shoulder.I looked up and saw this big, white guy wearing a blue shirt looking down on me. The first thought that flew to my mind, "hmm, maybe he wants the empty chair."

I smiled at him, ready to give the answer, "yes, you can have the chair." But, all the time, he kept holding my gaze and then moments later he uttered the most unexpected words, "i was on my way outside"(Pause..), and i saw you. I just have to talk to you."(pause)..may i sit down?"

Him: They both stare at me. The room stares at me. I wait. She says yes. I reach back to table behind me and grab a chair from another table without asking. Is someone else using it? Not anymore. Chair bangs against other chairs. It appears unsmooth, but I don't care.

Her: The way he said it, it was so soft, and felt so genuine and his expression, it didn't feel fake. I think my brain stopped working, because, before i can think of anything to say, i felt my right arm gesturing to the empty chair next to my right and said, "sure." He sat down and kept holding my gaze, and didn't say anything. I felt very awkward and felt compelled to say something first (keep in mind i have a friend who sat next to my left and she had this shock expression on her face.and i know she won't say anything). After the proper introduction, i asked him what he was doing?

Him: I sit. Look at her -- gently, but seeing her. I don't say anything. A year passes. She asks, "so what are you doing today?"

Her: I felt dream-like.My heart was beating faster and i kept trying to think. I could not believe that this is happening, but, i was willing to give this guy a chance. He told us about his goddaughter and showed us pictures of his dogs. All the time, i felt comfortable and looking at him, i thought to myself "hmm..this guys is cute and he has really nice eyes." however, i'm still not sure where all this is going , and i can feel that my friend did not like what was happening one bit. I can actually feel her being really cold to this stranger.

Him: I mention something about Christmas shopping. Start talking normal stuff. Introduce myself, they introduce themselves. Gia and Lily. My internal circuits are all afire, but I will not stop. That's how it works. I don't have to keep going. I just have to Not. Stop.

Gia is from Indonesia. Lily is from Thailand. They live here now. I tell them I teach dogs owners how to understand their dogs. They love dogs, Golden Retrievers. I tell them how big the hearts of a Golden are, that they are made of love. Time passes. I talk about the park near my house. Watching sunset from the swings, and the cafe close by with the best hot chocolate in the city.

Her: He told us that he just moved here from boston and that he lived by the park on which hill you can climb and view san francisco city light. A few minutes later, he said he had to go and then said that me and him should go to that park together. I thought to myself, "Uh-uh, not so fast,dude"

He tried to make me to say yes. But, I stubborny said "we'll see..we'll see," and smiled sweetly at him. And finally he asked for my phone number.

Him: The air is heavy with this moment I feel the weight. Time to go. Tell them so. Tell Gia to meet me at my house next week and we'll go to the park. She agrees. Gives me her number. We hug, and her skin smells like summer.

Her: To this day, I still do not know why i gave him my number. It could be that i sensed something about him or that i was carried away in the movie moment. The feeling was indescribable. it felt surreal, it was pure emotions.

I stand. Legs still working. Nice surprise.

Walk out, slow, stunned. Kick-to-the-head stunned. My world is of muffled sound, like under the sea, like leaving a Metallica show. Everything is slow and gentle, everything is floaty.

Her: I still wasn't sure about him. Part of me hope so much for it to be real,hope that he's not an asshole and really hope that he meant what he said. However, He was nothing but sweet and genuine and funny for the next few days we talked on the phone.

Talk twice over next week, flirty, funny, sexy. Normal topics too. School, work, fun. She's coming over Saturday.

Her: I did try to talk myself out of this date, but i can't. The way he came up to me like that, being so vulnerable and yet so strong, i just can't. This guy is ballsy and i like that. I granted him one date. I thought, "what the hell, it should be fun, i got free pizza."

Him: With two bottles of wine, one white, one red. With a dog treat for my dog.

We will be as lovers who meet again and again, as the wheel does turn, as it was meant to be.

Her: This month is our 7th month dating each other. I am very happy and the story of how we met has been told many times. My friend and i still talk about it. Everytime I passed that little cafe, everytime i drank my cafe mocha,my mind always flew back to that moment. Its embedded forever in in my heart.

If you liked this story, check our PickUp 101's upcoming video interview series, He Said/She Said, where we sit down with the guy and the girl and hear the story of a pickup from both sides.

Top 10: Ways To Make Her Remember You

2006-10-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

If you want to be successful with women, it’s critical that you STAND OUT from other guys... and make a woman remember you. Unfortunately, 99% of men do the exact same things when trying to meet women... so they are forgotten about almost instantly. Use these tips to separate yourself from the pack and let her know that you are her BEST possible choice.

Number 10: Start a stimulating conversation

Most guys make the classic mistake of talking about BORING and PREDICTABLE topics on dates. "What do you do?"... "Where do you live?"... "Do you have brothers and sisters?"... These are all questions that do NOTHING to separate you from all the other guys she's dated. It's far better to think of topics that would actually be FUN and INTERESTING to talk about.

Humans -- and women in particular -- love to talk about drama, comedy, adventure, and scandal. With this in mind, try teaming up with her and playing “psychology experts” with society. Guess what's going on with another couple nearby... or discuss some current celebrity gossip. Women find this stuff FASCINATING... and it will make her find YOU exciting.

Number 9: Be "Cocky & Funny"

There's a magical formula that's like CRACK for attraction, and it's called "Cocky & Funny." The secret is to have both arrogance and humor in just the right amounts and you'll drive women absolutely CRAZY for you. But you want a balance of both. Too much cocky, you'll seem arrogant and insecure. Too funny, and you'll come across as goofy. Instead, start off by coming up with an arrogant statement, and then say it in a funny way.

For example, "That girl has a big butt" becomes "J-Lo is in the house." Use this formula when you're with a particularly attractive woman, and not only will it help you laugh and relax, but you'll spark that magical feeling of attraction deep inside her.

Number 8: Work on your beliefs

Most men don't know this, but one of the best things you can do to make a woman remember you is to work on your BELIEFS. What a man believes about himself, and about women, is SO powerful that if you don't have the right beliefs, no amount of techniques, pickup lines, or "moves" is going to help make you memorable to her.

One way to rewire your brain so you believe positive things is to repeat silently to yourself: "I don't let women use their looks to get special privileges with me," or "I'm a confident guy and could care less what others think," or even "I live in my reality, and she's a guest." When you start to honestly believe powerful things about yourself and your relationship with women, your success will SKYROCKET.

Number 7: Do you want to be a lover or a provider?

Most men don’t realize that when a woman meets a man who could be a potential mate, she subconsciously categorizes him as either a “Lover” or a “Provider.” The “Lovers” are the men she is intimate with, and the “Providers” -- you guessed it -- are the men she sees as being good providers for her and her future children. We could talk about why women categorize men this way all day long, but for now let’s just talk about why a woman will put a man into one category versus another.

If you show a strong command of body language, sexual awareness and confidence, then she'll feel instant ATTRACTION and see you as a Lover. But try to win her affection with attention, compliments, dinners, gifts, and other favors, and she will see you as a Provider. When it comes to the “dating game,” Lovers are pursued and Providers do the pursuing.

If she sees you as a Provider, a woman will withhold sex, play hard to get and test you to see how good of a provider you'll be. If she sees you as a Lover, she’ll have a tendency to get physically involved with you very quickly, and YOU will be in control of where the relationship goes. Now... which guy do YOU want to be?

Number 6: Start the date at your place

The secret to getting a woman back to your place starts way BEFORE the date or meeting. On the phone you can say, "Why don't you just stop by my place, ring the bell and we can leave... I know a great coffee shop down the street." When she shows up, let her in for just a minute... then quickly leave. This sets up in her mind that you're not needy or trying to take advantage of the fact that she's in your house.

When you're out with her, make it a point to NOT get too "touchy feely" and she'll feel even more comfortable with you. When you go back to your house to drop her off, look at your watch and say "Well, I have some things I need to do... but OK, you can come in for a few minutes..." Use a tone of voice that says "You talked me into it," and she'll feel comfortable and compelled to check out your pad... and hopefully more.

Number 5: Never whine about the following things...

A sure way to KILL the attraction a woman is feeling for you is to WHINE. So never complain, whine or even mention: being single... being lonely... having bad luck with women... how long it's been since you've had a date... etc. You may think that putting yourself down or being "honest" about your situation will help her open up to you, but all it'll do is turn her OFF... and make her turn to the waiter and say, "Check please!"

Number 4: Ask direct questions by acting suspicious

Most men have a lot of anxiety about asking certain questions that are "taboo." But if you want to ask a woman her age, if she's single, or any other "not usually asked directly" type of question... just use a somewhat suspicious, direct tone. Put your eyebrows together, lean your head back slightly, and in a tone that says "I suspect something..." ask your question quickly and directly.

You can get almost any question answered if you seem like she's acting suspicious, and you're trying to get to the bottom of the issue. You'll be blown away -- women will answer any type of question -- from how old they are all the way to if they're bisexual or not -- right at the beginning of a conversation with this technique.

Number 3: Prime the pump

Some guys ask, "How am I supposed to play hard to get and act like she's picking up on me, when I don't even know if she likes me?" The answer is to "Prime the pump." Give things a little push by interpreting her comments and behaviors as signs that she is coming on to you, and then resist them.

When she does anything that could be interpreted as showing interest in you, say "You're moving kind of fast for me," or "I don't think this relationship is going to work out" in an over-the-top, teasing sort of way. Or if you want to tell her you like her, turn it around instead and say, "You like me," with a smirk on your face. Don't be afraid to provide that initial spark or spin that gets things headed in the direction YOU want.

Number 2: Hold her hand

Holding hands early on makes a woman feel safe and it warms her up to you. While you're holding hands, why not try reading her palm in a creative, funny way... as you lightly brush your finger tips across it. Or massage her hand a little while saying, "This will help you relax." After you hold her hand, give it back to her, then start up again. This way she'll feel more comfortable with your touch... she'll look forward to it later.

Number 1: End it right

Many guys do an OK job of being cool on a date, but they end up blowing it BIG TIME at the end by turning into a wussy... acting needy... or just freaking out. Don't make this mistake yourself. Always be the one to end your time together. Have something to do, somewhere to go, someone to see, etc. Say to her: "Now don't call me three times a day... I had fun too, but no stalking." Or tell her: "I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt me with a good enough offer, I might make time for you the next night..."

For more great tips on making a woman remember you, getting phone numbers and e-mail addresses from women quickly, for great, inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily, be sure to sign up for my FREE Dating Secrets Newsletter - Click Here.

Malaga & Marbella, Spain

2006-10-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

Guys I've booked a weeklong New Years trip to Malaga and Marbella in Spain. Looking forward to experiencing my first trip to Europe. Most of my time will be spent with my nephews and neices, but hopefully I'll sneak in some Spainish love. If any of you have been there, let me know what to expect!

D

How To Attract A Gorgeous Actress (and Mom)

2006-10-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Senior Instructor Daniel is taking the PickUp 101 Girl of the Day challenge to new levels, as this field report from an Art of Attraction weekend shows. The Girl of the Day challenge is a simple, and wicked idea. Every day, you have to approach the hottest girl you see. There are no excuses allowed. Doesn't matter if she's with a man, 2 men, 12 men, her dad, her grandparents, a dog and a monkey and a pet lemur, or driving thru high-speed traffic on her moped. No excuses. She's the girl of the day.

Read what Daniel did when he saw her.

I started off the day pretty lazy. I knew that we were doing a workshop that night and I'd be sure to meet some hotties. So, I didn't even bother looking all day.

It wasn't the best idea, however, since it put a lot of pressure on the evening to pay off. And when I first arrived in the Marina, I wasn't opening anybody. I saw girls right and left and kept saying "oh... there'll be hotter." But, man hotter's gotta come eventually. Can't fight the inevitable.

And, then it all went down when I walked into Mel's Diner. I was waiting for a table when I saw a STUNNING blond. !#@* drop dead gorgous. The guys who were there will back me up on this.

She's eating with two older women (mom and auntie as it turns out).

No hesitation. I must go!

"Hey guys, is the food any good here?" I ask.

Then I bust on them, whatever they said. I don't really remember that much.

"Hey, are you mom and daughter?"

"Yes."

"Wow, you're daughter is really cute." I say to the mom.

Mom proudly replies, "Yeah, we just watched her debut in her first movie! It's not coming out for another couple months, but we were at the screening."

"Wow, congratulations. Sounds like fun." I replied. Still talking to the whole group... not going to isolate on the cutie just yet. There's no need. Her mom loves me.

I keep talking about god knows what. This and that.

Eventually the girl asks me: "So where do you go to school?" Whoa! ... That's a blast from the past.

I tell her quite bluntly that I'm 28. She's cool with it. I ask her where she goes to school. She says UC Berkeley! Holy !#@*... that's my school!

I say "Go Bears" and she lights up. I have her guess what my major was and she's very close - says molecular biology. I say "No, Chemistry."

I ask her and she says that she's just a Freshman. Sherlock Holmes would easily deduce that she must therefore be 18 years old (plus or minus a year). Holy !#@* again!

I keep bantering and flirting with the girl and with her mom and auntie. I work the whole table while they wait for food. Actually, her mom and auntie were way cool. I even asked if she would be my auntie too.

Eventually, I ask the girl: "So, do you come out to San Francisco often?"

She says yes.

Cool. I say "We're throwing a Party and you should join us." (had to give a little reason there so that it all looked kosher for the parents.)

She's way into it. I tell her to give me her email (so that I'll put her on the guest list). She says "give me your number." And brothers... she said it in a good way. Like "Give me your number!"

I take her phone and dial my number and call my phone.

I talk a little more and their food arrives and I say goodbye.

As she's leaving the restaurant, I smile and wave at Auntie. She smiles and waves back, which catches the eye of my hottie. So, the hottie turns and waves and then mouths the words to me across the restaurant. "Call me!"

Wow... this girl was loving it!

So, out of 4 days, I've got two mom daughter sets. Guess that's my calling in life.

This girl is by far the hottest yet. I got home and googled her and the first listing for her name is her imdb profile. I'll say no more. Eighteen year old actress/slash/UC Berkeley Business student.

Doctor Paul (Seduction Masters Interview)

2006-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

This is a cool interview I did with the famous Doctor Paul of the David Deangelo fame, and he clearly stands at the forefront of the science of attraction. You may have seen him in any of David's DVD's. Get something to eat, and sit down and digest this long interview that will really open your eyes!

(Check out his video)

I'm CEO of DoctorPaul.Net, where we provide the best material on communicating to women I have ever seen or heard of. Yes, grandiose sounding, except for the fact that it's the only cutting edge material truly based in multiple sciences you'll find, rather than based on strong-armed muscle-advertising or cult of personality. If you do an experiment and I do one and a million guys do one and get the same result, then we are forced to come to the same conclusion, and we say, "well that's the real deal." "Methods" based on the advertising clout, pr, or personality of the speaker do not work for every guy, every time, in every situation. Science does, when devised by a real scientist with formal education, not just the idiot's guide series, or a Robert Greene book.

I'm in my 30's, live in the midwest, and don't believe in "being in the game" - you're either a man who knows what time it is, or you have growing to do. I'm a physician and psychiatrist first, and an observer on all the acronyms, trademarks, seminars and the like in "the community" second. I don't take kindly to any activity that goes to an extreme, or fanaticism, cultishness (e.G. See tony robbins). If you want to talk in normal-people language, i'm up for it. I have been in business as a hobby for three years, but have been a struggling (and now successful) mainstream author and speaker for at least 12 years i kind of fell into this specific area of teaching people and writing by accident. I a psychoanalytic theorist by training and trade, which simply means I take complex human systems, and use real science, not kitchen table wisdom or locker room philosophizing, to come up with simple and practical, repeatable solutions to that complexity. I take human behavior and make it simple for people to use in their lives as if they actually had had my exact academic training and 14 years clinical experience as a psychiatrist. I want to duplicate myself into a million clones, or at least duplicate what know so that people can make better lives through understanding the mind - not in some weird lofty lab-academic way, but in normal language, and practical, and definitely accurate (which only science can provide, not just cults of personality).

So I accidentally met David Deangelo, and we talked, and found we thought a lot alike, and I saw a way to help him with my material, and also saw he used ideas in a more scientific way than anyone else in "the community", even though not a trained scientist academic himself. So he'd ask me a question and i'd show how science of the mind answers it. I'd ask him about business and he'd tell me just as eloquently how business works. So it was a fast friendship. Then I did some products with him for him, and before I knew it, guys wanted to talk to me and wanted me to make products for them. I feel david d may always be the industry leader in that specific field though, and good for him. I have other plans, to remain in that field but in many more, kind of like "intel inside," well it's like mindos inside.

Mindos is my original master theoretical work. It is original, and a true synthesis of all "schools of psychology" set in the world's only visual model of the workings of the mind. In short, it is a 'unification theory' of the mind, much like they seek in the area of physics. It is true "quantum psychology" and offers a new way to envision artificial intelligence too. It can be applied to dating, but also to any other area of a man's (or woman's) life - politics, friends, family, career, success, anything that has human systems or individual or group psychology to it. It took me 15 years to develop and 14000 patient encounters to deduce the material, 4 yrs undergrad, 4 yrs med school, 4 yrs residency, and 2 years psychoanalytic training. I firmly believe something for men could not possibly have been developed without that academic, formal education training and clinical experience as a physician and former student of all the sciences - biology, physics, chemistry, but also literature and myth, film, anthropology, sociology, economics, all of which I have thoroughly studied. Some "fields" like "nlp" mislead people into thinking you can bypass formal education and just model people. Well that doesn't lead to innovation, just a bunch of clone theories and products. It takes time to come out with a real advance in a real technology. Anyway...

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

I was broken up with at 22 by a fiancee, and while studying and training to be a doctor, took up the cause of educating myself about the mind of women, and the notion of how human instinct and attraction work...I guess that personal goal led me out of being a surgery trainee and into psychiatry.

2. Have you had any mentors within life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Um, no. Mainly trial by fire, but I must say that I know so many people in so many fields that I really have learned bits and parts of attraction traits and skills from, from a guy who is about to hit it big in music with the coolest new band on mtv (known him for ten years, though he was 18 when we met - he used to play my parties),and he has no idea what "the community" is to this day. A guy who works for the european economic community and now lives in paris with his hot english wife, a guy who was a student and wingman of mine who worked for a colorado billionaire and now is in some sort of secret societies that really run the world, and a guy who is british, but arab descent, born in egypt, yet has worked for microsoft, and has the most silky smooth ways with women you've ever heard of, and yet none of these men know what the community is. I encourage men to have a much bigger life than any one group. However, the community is one of the only accepting, encouraging, respectful of each other groups of men that is young and multinational today - it's a valuable thing to have in society as long as strong ethics are still taught in it and it is not at all about just "getting laid". That's so adolescent. I've met many top notch guys who have a real life through community seminars.

3. You're background is in psychology, and you've been very successful. Did psychology influence you personally with attraction, or were mentor's a greater influence?

I'm not a psychologist. I'm an md psychiatrist/physician. Yes, I can literally "read" any woman or man who walks in the room within five minutes and know what their problems are in general, what their likely future relationship behavior is, and what they are attracted to. I do mean that. If you read malcolm gladwell's "blink" book, you know how that is possible. All those years of study and thousands of patients. You kind of get a "seventh sense"(tm) as I call it, and that sense is basically what I teach men in my products.

4. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

I don't use routines. That's ridiculous. I'm about being myself and knowing what time it is with people and their behavior. Be real. I think there are a lot of promised results not based in science. And guess what, they don't work every time, for every guy in every situation. Science does. That's why it has lasted since the first caveman threw a rock in the air and shouted "cool" when it reliably fell to the ground every single time he threw it. Well, that's caveman science for you. I do like mystery's material in the sense that it does have an experimental testing tone to it, which is kinda sorta science-like, but still based in personal experience rather than formal research and education. Like him as a person too. He's an inquisitive mind, and a good heart, wanting to help guys. Some other folk, well whatever...

5. What is your favorite place to meet women, and how do you usually approach them?

Anywhere. Any time. I open my mouth without any routine or robotic geeky crap and say one word "hi", then I just vibe, and truly care about knowing what they know. This may not be in the form of asking questions to them, which can seem needy, but rather, I have always had something about me that makes people want to talk to me and tell me stories of their life. They like it, and it makes them like you back.

6. What options you have with women now?

Um, come on. I have any option I put my mind and heart to. That's just a matter of how much work and how much desire for a certain kind of relationship experience a guy wants to put forth. I have enjoyed a relationship with a mature, hugely attractive future attorney for about a year. It is a good thing for my life right now.

7. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

Hmm. Getting out of my head and into my body. I mostly discovered this by taking comedy improv acting class and finding it revealed a kind of hesitation about using my body freely and in any way I wanted to. So I worked on it, and now I dance, or use body language in any way I want. I think it also helps a guy to exercise regularly and feel great about your physical presence, though I know a lot of fat guys too who don't care and just dive into kino and body language freely and without hesitation.

8. Do you have a favorite routine, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

No. I don't believe in routines, and any sophisticated mature woman, whether she is 19 or 49 can pick up on how fake that is. You don't know it, but she certainly does, n if you blah blah blah calibrate blah blah. Be yourself be yourself be yourself. I mean the whole basis of my profession of 15 years is about being yourself and nonneurotic, comfortable with it and growing better character in you. I have traveled to so many countries known so many people and ne so many interesting things all I need to do is see a woman and guess that she too has been to the himalayas, or japan, or russia, and I start talking and asking her about compared experiences. I also can tend to pinpoint accents well, and know where people grew up. I dated a french "royal" for a few years, and she was a member of the aristocracy obviously. They were into the finer cultural things and I learned much about different european accents through her, then later from other travels, about asian, latino and other accents. Women are pretty impressed by that kind of seemingly voodoo knowledge, but it isn't about impressing. It's about the pleasure of learning and sharing that learning for me (and the women i have known)

9. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

I don't believe in rank and all these terms, except to say that I believe there is such a thing as an "omega male", which is way way more than an "alpha." In animals it is the lowest on the totem pole, but the term in humans means, alpha male sexual instinct skills, but very rich and mature character on top of even that. Think george clooney, james cavaziel, sting, anderson cooper, colin powell for men of various ages. Since I devised what amounts to the most thorough and accurate notion of a quantum psychology yet devised, you might guess that I believe people exist on spectrums, not boxes with labels like pua or afc. We start out less mature both in character and sexual instinct knowledge, and no matter how good we seem, there is always more evolving to do as a man...Til the day you die my friend. With all mastery, there is always higher mastery..But I do think that there are certain benchmarks a man has to reach to be considered more than just an adolescent male (or alpha male in terms of attraction skills alone, lacking high character), and if you add up those basic features that a true, full mature male must reach some day to be totally fulfilled in his life, that's what i mean by an omega male. And you heard these terms here first. I coined them.

10. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

Be willing to "suspend judgment" on what is possible for you, E.g. Let go the past, and experiment, be curious, and take on mentors. That's what I provide in live seminars at doctorpaul.net.

11. You worked with David Deangelo on his deep inner game program. What's your belief on inner game, and what are some specific practical techniques guys could start doing now to greatly improve this area?

Answer: Yeah he's a great guy, and genius businessman, but the system presented was my original, patent-pending material alone. It was a basic version of my very first theoretical work, but in the 2-3 years since that, I have developed new, more sophisticated, simple and effective material. The most detailed version available of my core theory is too complicated to explain in just this interview, but it is Mindos: the operating system of the human mind, an ebook on doctorpaul.net.

I am not "an inner game guy." I have doped out the entire human psychology of dating, mating and what used to be called courtship. That means "inner game" "outer game""coupling" etc. All these terms are artificial. Would you agree that you do have both a mind and body? Sure. But can you extract one from the other? No way. They are intertwined, and to say one is more important than the other is ridiculous and pointless. We are men, and men need to learn every aspect of all psychology (of the mind, the body, our words, our actions, our identity, our careers, our friends, family, and lives in general) in order to mature and master their communication and effectiveness with women. My systems cover all of it, including some secret stuff I have revealed to no one until my upcoming books appear with the major publishers this coming year. For now, I fully discuss what I am allowed to by my publisher, at my live seminars for men at Doctorpaul.net.

12. Do you have a personal favorite field report that you could relay?

Sure, a guy from my most recent seminar: call him Jeremy: (and he refers prominently to material from my ebook at doctorpaul.Net, which is about precisely identifying the personality style of women and therefore what they are attracted to, what they are likely to do in the future regarding you, and whether they are a fit for you (if they "qualify"), in terms like queen, magician, etc, is what he is referring to...Also keep in mind before the seminar, he had no idea how to approach and get dates with women... "Datingos" refers to my latest theoretical work for men at live seminars...

Hi Dr paul,

Made it back from the spain trip which followed the chicago seminar, where yes... Even in spanish you can use datingos concepts.

Example...

I was working at the hospital, caught the eyes of a pretty cute spanish maiden, and stayed cool for a while before asking her name (she tells me).

We kind of go our ways, do our thing. The next day, we meet up again, and I ask her to do a few simple things for me so I can get my own tasks done.

She promptly helps out, and goes her way. She later comes back to ask my name (which she has trouble pronouncing, though has fun trying her best). Correct me if i'm wrong, but the post-wussie me sees this as a significant girl boy question. So I keno up on her after that and have my arm around her waist in a few seconds, right in front of the others working around us. Ah, europeans :) i'll see her again I suppose if/when I go back. The real plan however is to get together with the 26 year old daughter of an older hot nurse that I worked with and got to know me. I saw the daughter on the screen of her phone, and mom tells me it's her daughter as I peek for a better look. Omg, she was a latin hottle 10+! I calmly asked if her daughter was married. I get this shocked look from mom as she tells me that she's still single, and a tv producer who's in cuba right now, but otherwise she'd have introduced us. So I proceed to tell her i'd like to meet her next time, and go dancing. She agreed (we'll see if the daughter does :)

back in the states I returned to irretrevable data loss on my mac (dang, never happened before in 15 years of apple computers for me!) so I need all the ebooks again (mindos, masculine power, toolbox, and kwml).

Ok, don't know if I told you about going out with an 18 year old, bachelorette number 1. With this experience I have accomplished several things...

1. Blow away the limiting belief of not being able to date younger women.

2. Sharpened my dating skills in general (conversation, date location selections, physical escalation... I don't know for sure how I did it, but there was no last minute resistance, and I could've done anything i wanted. It was enough just hearing her moan and scream my name :)

3. Learn better how to recognize a mismatch in psychological ages. This was most important.

She knows i'm dating other girls, so i'm going to tell her the truth that I'm more attracted to the others, and don't foresee long term potential between us.

Bachelorette number 2: A much closer in psychological age 26 year old grad. Student who majored in history, and minored in math (she teaches math right now part time). I met her when I sat down at a writing course at the univ. here. I greeted the man next to her, who i'd met at work before. He introduced her to me as his daughter. We exchanged small talk throughout the course, and at the end of the day, when we got up to leave I said, "well it's been a pleasure meeting you. I've enjoyed our conversation and would like to talk to you more... Here's my card, let's stay in touch." She smiled big and said, "i think i'd like that." She emailed me 2 days later, and we've gone out almost every weekend since. She's a solid 8.5. She's just returned from a job interview associated with john's hopkins which she really likes. I have no intention of asking her to consider our relationship as she looks at possible employment. I believe that would show too much clingy/needy boy-like thinking. I've encouraged her to go for whatever job makes her happiest, and that i'm excited for her.

Ok, well that's all for now. Thanks for everything, big bro. Oh, and as for the omega male discussion. You know, when I saw that term in your newsletter, I too thought it a bit off... In contrast with alpha male ideas we have. But after I read into the newsletter a few paragraphs, I thought, "this is the perfect term! I want a woman to think of me as the last man she would ever want or need!

Someone who, when another alpha male other guy flips her attraction switches when i'm not around, will then say, "thanks, but no thanks. I'm dating the perfect guy, and I just couldn't see myself going out with someone else." Bingo. I'm omega. I'm essential to her life. Though, not to be confused with omega-6 essential fatty acids, also essential for her to have... Specificallly for adequate estrogen levels and, in consequence, voluptuous essential feminine curves. Lol! I swear, being a lover has it's advantages... I'm finding i'm a natural when it comes to wordsmiting and sweet talking. I'm a lot less down on myself for not being the best warrior, king or magician, and happy to just make some improvements in those weak areas while capitalizing on my lover strengths.

Ok, ok... Really. I've got to go. This has been fun. Talk to you later! Frank

So that's my recent favorite field report. I prefer not to call them that, since this was more of a cool life's experience abroad for this guy, not a "field report." You make me think of the "colbert report" with that term, and sometimes they need to be just as lampooned as the overserious guests on that show.

13. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

What sticking point? I love my life. Which is not to say i'm an arrogant ass. I really really like things right now, and continue to grow. "Sticking points" for me were in my early twenties.

14. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

I want to take endless hours of work in medicine, reading, seeing patients, learning business, advertising, marketing, meeting tens of thousands of people and their stories, and turn it all into super-brain-food for men that's "tasty" (that's david d's term for me), then give it to millions of men to better their lives with. I want to meet more and more interesting people for the rest of my life, travel everywhere I haven't been, and learn to take vacations that really are that and not just working vacations. I also have a mission to shed light on goofy ideas that lead people astray, as seen in some business and political practices...So I guess i'm about justice and truth simply, and giving to people like crazy. Sometimes I think my head is full of so much I want to give away there just aren't enough people to receive it. I dig leonard davinci, carl sagan, einstein, freud...And I don't know how to say this in a less corny way... science, when you get the rare opportunity to see it in it's most elegant form, is so beautiful it makes me want to cry.

And not like a wuss. Like a normal guy who gets to see miracles right before his eyes every day, helping people, and call that "work."

It's not work to me.

Thanks Dr. Paul for all you've done in the research of dating and male improvement!

Sexual Health In Relationships

2006-10-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

This is a great article that was on MSN Health about Sexual Health in relationships. I thought that this is a very important issue for relationships, and dating in general. The importance of orgasms and a healthy relationship is based on intimacy. I like the guide on sex that one of the guys in the community completed check it out here.

Although sex usually is a source of great pleasure, it can also be the cause of significant stress between partners. Even if you feel fulfilled in your sex life, you may worry about your performance when you hear about what others do behind closed doors — and how often.

But a fulfilling sexual relationship isn't dependent on frequency or specific sexual behaviors. Instead it's reliant on whether the sexual experience makes both you and your partner feel good without compromising either person's health.

David Osborne, Ph.D., a psychologist at Mayo Clinic, Scottsdale, Ariz., addresses these and other issues regarding sexual health in monogamous relationships.

Many people wonder whether their sex life is "normal." Can you help us understand the full range of what constitutes "normal" sex?

It's common for people to wonder whether their frequency and variety of sexual activity are similar to those of other people. Statistics on sexual behavior can be quite misleading. For example, a couple might read that the average married couple has intercourse three times a week. They may not be aware, however, that this average includes a wide range. The frequency of intercourse might range from zero for some to 15 or 20 times a week for others. Therefore, even if their frequency of intercourse is more or less than three times a week, their behavior is within the range of normal human experience. The most important consideration isn't whether their frequency and pattern of sexual activity matches some average, but whether each partner is satisfied and comfortable with the sexual relationship.

It's difficult to arrive at a definition of normal sexual behavior. Cultural attitudes, religious beliefs and the law may all play a role in defining what is considered normal. Within these cultural, religious and legal contexts, a couple's own beliefs are crucial in determining what's "normal" for them.

Human beings may respond to a wide variety of arousing stimuli. As long as a sexual fantasy or behavior doesn't lead to emotional or physical discomfort, conflict in the relationship, or problems in other aspects of their lives, it shouldn't be a source of concern.

What questions can partners ask each other to help determine whether their needs are being met?

The best way is to observe and discuss each other's feelings. For example, does the anticipation of sexual activity produce feelings of pleasure, excitement and arousal? Or does it produce a feeling of pressure, guilt or a sense of obligation? Each partner can also consider how he or she feels after sexual activity. Is there a feeling of satisfaction, relaxation and enjoyment? Or are there feelings of guilt, resentment or anger? If the anticipation and completion of sexual activity usually produces positive feelings in both partners, then their sexual relationship is working for them. If one or both are left with negative feelings, then there's a problem.

What suggestions do you have for couples who have significantly different levels of sexual desire?

There are wide differences in the level of sexual interest and desire among people. Desire also fluctuates for each person as his or her life circumstances change. If the difference between levels of sexual desire is small, couples are generally able to negotiate their activity so that they both feel satisfied.

However, if the disparity in sexual desire is quite large, it can have a negative impact on the relationship. In these situations, the partner who has the lower level of desire often feels pressured to do something that he or she doesn't feel like doing. In the long run, this can lead to resentment, anger and a further decline in sexual desire. The partner with the higher level of desire often begins to feel unloved, deprived and desperate. Because of the increasing feeling of deprivation, the person with greater sexual desire might press for sexual activity even more frequently and more vigorously. This creates a cycle in which one partner's desire increases while the other loses all interest.

Strategies for dealing with a large disparity in sexual desire can be complex and may require the help of a therapist, especially if the problem has existed for a long time. A therapist might address the issue by suggesting that the person who has low interest in sexual intercourse shouldn't be pressured to participate. The therapist might also say that it's good for the relationship when the person with the higher level of desire feels his or her sexual needs are being met adequately. One strategy for accomplishing both of these conditions involves the partner with the lower level of desire being willing to provide sexual satisfaction for the partner in ways that don't involve sexual intercourse. The use of other techniques can avoid forcing the partner with the lower interest to experience sexual arousal when he or she doesn't feel like becoming aroused.

When this approach is used, the partner with the lower level of desire may get pleasure from pleasing the partner. The person with the higher level of desire regains the feeling that the partner does care about his or her sexual satisfaction. In some couples this leads to an increase in desire in the partner with the lower level of interest and a reduction in the pressure for more frequent sexual activity from the partner with the higher level of desire.

Some couples aren't able to accept such an approach. They might feel that they shouldn't engage in any sexual activity unless they're both aroused, or they might feel that sexual satisfaction from an activity other than intercourse is wrong.

What would you suggest to couples who experience tension because one partner requests sexual activities that don't interest or may even repulse the other person?

When a partner's preference for a specific sexual behavior is a source of conflict, the partners need to use negotiation skills to arrive at a pattern of behavior that is acceptable to both. This requires being willing to listen and avoiding blame and ridicule. It's important to consider whether the behaviors being requested are harmful.

Although people shouldn't engage in behavior they consider repulsive, if they're simply uninterested, they might want to try experimenting with the partner's fantasy or behavior to further explore their own feelings about it. If a person decides that they don't want to participate in the behavior requested by his or her partner, it's best for the partner to stop requesting that behavior. If the couple is unable to come to an agreement on this issue, it might be worthwhile to consult a psychologist, physician or marriage counselor to obtain another perspective.

What are the conditions that make it possible for a person to engage in satisfying sexual behavior?

For a person to become sexually aroused and to function normally, he or she needs to have a feeling of self-confidence, freedom from anxiety, the presence of arousing mental and physical stimulation, and the ability to focus attention on sexually arousing thoughts or behavior. Anything that interferes with these conditions can disrupt a sexual encounter. If one or more of these conditions is routinely absent, an inability to perform can become a lasting problem.

Self-confidence includes a belief that you'll be able to perform sexually, a belief that the partner finds you attractive, and a feeling that the partner has good intentions. If one of the partners routinely belittles or threatens the other, such confidence can be undermined.

Any type of anxiety can lead to an episode of sexual failure. The most common type of anxiety is performance anxiety, in which the person is afraid that he or she won't be able to become aroused and function normally. This fear of failure is self-perpetuating because the anxiety interferes with arousal. The inability to become aroused then increases the anxiety.

In order to become aroused, people generally need the mental stimulation of a partner they love or find attractive, combined with appropriate physical stimulation. The need for direct physical stimulation increases with age.

In order for stimulation to be arousing, it is necessary for a person to be able to pay attention to it. If someone is distracted by thoughts of possible failure or a lack of self-confidence or has concerns about how the partner is reacting, this will distract from the arousing sexual activity.

How can people identify whether their sexual activities or attitudes about sex might be unhealthy?

Unhealthy sexual behaviors generally involve recurrent intense fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving nonhuman objects, children or nonconsenting partners, or lead to suffering or humiliation. Some people can't become aroused unless they imagine or act out such fantasies. In these situations, consulting a health care professional is strongly advised.

Infidelity also may lead to very difficult psychological stresses and, often, a shattering of valued relationships. And sexual activities that result in a sexually transmitted disease have a direct impact on physical health.

When should people seek help for a sex-related problem?

A couple should consider seeking help if they're experiencing repeated failures in sexual performance or when there's strong disagreement about sexual practices that they can't resolve. Performance problems include difficulty getting an erection, lack of sexual desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or a lack of satisfaction from sexual activity. Since medical problems can cause sexual dysfunction, the family physician is a good starting point for discussion of these problems. A therapist might be needed to explore marital and psychological issues that could be contributing to the problem.

You Might Be Too Perfect

2006-10-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

Brent (from the Double Your Dating Meeting Women Online program) has a company called Absolute Power Dating and hits on some misunderstood points in this email.

You're a good looking guy, have great hair, hip clothes, flashy car, you're successful in business and you know all the right people; you even have no noticeable, nervous twitching.

Let's say that none of this is over the top and you're not using all these things as crutches. Basically, you think you have your act together.

So why do you still have problems attracting women, holding the attraction and getting them not to flake? Even after they've shown initial interest by approaching you, telling you they're interested and getting together with you for mind-blowing physical activity? I bet you never thought that you might have it TOO together for
them.

Here's what I mean:

You might be too perfect. Women want to nurture and fix you. When they're with you they try to imagine where they would fit into your life and what they would help you with. You've provided them with nothing to fix...you're ALREADY fixed. You might also be doing something relationship oriented that's giving them the 'go signal' to
have those thoughts in the first place. Women rarely do that with me. They know the deal and don't consider any other possibilities.

Here are a couple of other reasons directly from women:

* "You are a good looking guy, its because we're afraid we'll get hurt, its a defense mechanism we have because we have been burned so many times."

* "I really like you and I like being around you, but I am moving so I am trying my best NOT to see you, I am sorry I am just scared."

Believe it!

This is not a lack of attraction but you might be scaring them; they're actually intimidated by you. All this time you actually had higher status.

The good news is that you're much more powerful and attractive than you originally thought. It makes total sense that they would fear you. Remember, the hotter they are, the lower their self-esteem and the average looking men they date cheat on them less (they think). Whereas with you, they assume that every woman feels as THEY do
around you so you must get physical with all of them and they're threatened by this.

Now, I'm not saying that you should do anything different, just be aware of it!

Brent

Warm Read, Cold Reads, and Creating Instant Connections

2006-10-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of stuff out there on "cold-reading" people, like using the most-common psychic reads to tell someone things about themselves they didn't think you knew.

And those are great for carny tricks. Yes, you're psychic, and wow, aren't I amazed. Do it again!

It's like making balloon animals.

And you don't want to make balloon animals for the girls you want to fuck, do you? No, you want a real connection, real intimacy, a real trust that leads to really great sex. The realer it is, the hotter it is, so why waste time playing around.

But how do you create a real connection? The trick is not to just figure her out cold and then diagnose... that makes her separate from you, not connected.

The trick is to have yourself figured out first, and then sniff out the things that you see in her that are the same. That connects you. That's the stuff that great love stories are made of. The stories she keeps secret in her heart forever, because it doesn't happen very often.

You see something special in her, because you see it in yourself, and that is why you are meant to be.

Sounds weird, right? Well, let's get into how to do it.

Here's the best way to do it.

Not the easiest, not the trickiest, but best. It takes work, commitment and practice, but once you start doing it, you will see yourself change fundamentally, and see your world open up.

It's not warm reading or cold reading. It's RELATING to someone else by seeing something kind of hidden in them that you kind of hide in yourself. And it comes from listening carefully to all the signals you get, and then taking a crazy chance.

Lance calls it the "Hail Mary."

Here's how you start. At any point in conversation with a woman, just stop, look at her, and say "it's weird, but you really seem to be X, but I have this sense you are actually Y. I'm the same way."

Then you fill in the blanks with whatever sense you get from her that truly reminds you of yourself. It can be anything. Just start listening to your instincts, and stop looking for shortcuts and tricks. The thing with the shortcuts is they won't tell you anything real about her, and she won't know anything about you. However, you can have just ONE strong thing about yourself that you try on everyone.

Some guys use "you like a creative person, but not in a creative job."

Some guys use "you seem like a party person, but really have a quiet side."

I like "everyone thinks you have it all figured out and under control, but really you're still wandering a little bit, and excited about not having the answers yet."

And they all work great, because they all are strong identities for US.

That may be the key. We use this exercise extensively in Art of Rapport, and it produces amazing insights. You really just need to focus in on what you feel most true for yourself, and then pronounce it for her. You're telling her why it was really fate that brought you two together.

If you don't have something deep and a little secret in common, than you can't really believe this was meant to be. It still may be, but it's just for fun. But when you can both see a little into each others' secret worlds, only a passionate relationship makes sense.

And that's what you really want.

- Sean

Clever Little Online Trick

2006-09-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

I had the coolest experience on Myspace the other day, had a date with her today. I used this tactic Neil reveals in David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online program. Just thought I would share that with you, and I'll tell you more about it Monday. I've got plans right now.

D

19 Year Old Girl Gives It Up For Shoes

2006-09-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

I loved this email from Lance today. Awesome.

-Donovan

"What do I *really* look for in a guy?"

K. is 19. Hot. I mean, walk-down-the-street and cars veer off the road hot. And she enjoys it. She's the kind of young girl that makes men happy just to look at.

She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the hotties really after?

"Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets your attention?"

She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.

"You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy... with nice shoes."

"That's it?"

"You have any idea how hard that is to find?" she asked. "If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in San Francisco. Yep. That's the top of the mountain right there."

Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You'd really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or have 20 minutes of great stories with famous people, or be famous people.

Or fight dragons and breathe fire, or something.

Normal guy. Nice shoes? That's it? Anyone can do that, right?

Well, yes and no.

See, when it comes to attracting women, lots of guys think it's really hard. You know, you've got to get everything just right and basically "trick" her into thinking you're attractive long enough to get what you want.

Well, that's the way little boys think, anyways.

The truth is, as men know, that attracting women is either easy, or next-to-impossible.

If you have the attractive traits that women look for, it's easy. But if you don't, you can work and work and work, but you'll never get the choice with women you want.

See, girls live in a different world than we do. It's nice there... it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. But it has a lot to do with fashion.

Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.

A hottie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately thinks of you as a giant Ken doll she can dress up and take places and show off to her friends.

And if you don't look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can't take a chance on you.

She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That's how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why?

Because then you will understand her.

Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what's important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that's already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can
move right in and start showing it off to their friends.

Comprende, Senor?

And there's one other little secret about shoes that NO ONE else knows, but I'll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.

She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are.

Here, there, and everywhere.

Yes, she's thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she's also thinking "will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?"

Guess which one she's gonna pick if you're wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?

So what to do?

If you don't know fashion, start asking. You don't have to be Project Runway-level expert,
but you can't make mistakes.

And every guy makes them. I used to. And it wasn't until I put out my Dress For Success Program and actually taped the process of making over 5 guys that I saw how far I'd come.

I took all my years of experience and put it into this one DVD set so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.

If you don't know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.

After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy.

And you know the first thing she's looking at, and it's not your big... bank account.

Now, get out there and meet some women!

Your friend,

Lance Mason

Sexual Technique

2006-09-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've had some requests for what I would suggest is a great tool to increase your sexual skills, and how to help cultivate an orgasmic relationship.

I recommend a product that Thundercat also endorses.

Secret Orgasm Tips

Donovan

Calibration

2006-09-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

The problem with most of the community is the idea of being "alpha". I had a friend in New York City that was too alpha. Here are some signs that you are acting too alpha (which is actually NOT alpha at all). I was talking to Style the other day (Neil Strauss) and we realized that one of the biggest downfalls of the community is the tendenacy for guys to have this problem of being TOO alpha.

1. Talking over people during a normal conversation
2. Never compromising in conversation (Your always right)
3. Making statements that really have no real reason to be in the conversation (Eg. overty DHVing which actually hurts your chances more)
4. Too MUCH cocky and funny (Too many statements of cocky and funny turn you into a loser that's supplicating)

All of these problems come from a single source: a lack of calibration. Not toning down the conversation, or revving up the conversation when it needs to be. Being cocky when you needed to be sincere.

Lets work on this guys.
D

30 Days to a Better Life

2006-09-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

No one starts pickup totally comfortable talking to strangers. But it's something you have to get used to.

At PickUp 101, we have a number of exercises and regimens we have our clients use to prepare for workshops and follow-up to make sure the changes stick. Here's one anyone can start using right away.

It's a low-risk way to get yourself comfortable and get past the idea that strangers are to be feared FOREVER.

Do this, and you will never have a problem with approach anxiety again.

This workout routine can work for ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing. You won't turn into a magic pickup guru overnight like others may promise. But you will get happier and more social and more comfortable with girls than you could have ever imagined in ONE MONTH. That's all. Not years. ONE MONTH.

Ready?

You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no "sarging." No bars. Nothing.

What you will do is make changes daily. Here's how.

For the next month, I want you to take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that's easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.

When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath "i'm going to look silly but i'm going to have fun." Just do it.

Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say "Hello." That's it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.

You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hello." Wait until she says "Hello" back, then when she does, introduce yourself.

She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you're quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.

Do NOT run any routines or try anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that's great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that's fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.

To review, here is your homework for the next month.

1) 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, nod your head a little and repeat to yourself "i may look silly but i'm going to have fun talking to people."
4) When walking past people, smile and say "Hello" to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
5) The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and "Hello." Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.

Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.

Meeting Women Online: "Tips and Tricks"

2006-09-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

***QUESTION***

Dear David,

WOW. It works. I started by reading part of your book, and used some of it, and it worked great. I couldn't believe that it was your advice that helped me, I thought it was a shift in the universe or something. It was amazing. So, I went back to being a wussbag. The girl who accepted me one day rejected me the next. Bewildered, I continued to read your book, applied it once again, and I now get plenty of wonderful feedback from women of all sorts (not to mention the wonderful dates).

But, my question is this. How cocky is too cocky? I have stated the meekest positive aspect of myself and other times flouted my greatness. I do not know what the limit is, and I know it must exist. Mustn't it?

MSY, from Maryland

MY COMMENTS:

You're asking a good question here.

Remember, the formula isn't "Cocky".

The formula is "Cocky PLUS Funny".

You can say just about ANYTHING as long as what you are saying is actually FUNNY.

Remember, this technique is very powerful. It's a way of communicating with women that actually TRIGGERS and then AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION.

I've learned that "arrogance" or "cockiness" is NOT unattractive to women... as long as they're not an obvious over compensation for INSECURITY.

When you ask me what the "limit" is, what I hear you saying is, "I'm afraid to push this too far".

Don't let your own insecurities and doubts stop you from using a great technique.

Use it. But make sure you add the all powerful ingredient: HUMOR. The humor is what makes this technique magic.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I've been enjoying your advanced series very much, and have found a lot of success over the last few months. All this success is exciting, but I'm finding that I have to rethink my usual responses to just about everything. A case in point:

Last night over the phone, the woman I've been spending the most time with lately spent a lot of effort telling me how much she loves me. In fact, I think she's really falling for me hard. The question is, though, how do I respond to a woman that gets all mushy without spending all of my attraction points? If she says something like
"I've fallen in love with you" or "I love you soooooo much", what are some examples of things to say back that will keep the attraction building?

Your devoted fan,

A in Oregon

MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, that's one of the fringe benefits of learning these concepts... women actually start to LOVE you.

You left an important part out of your question...

You didn't mention how you feel about this girl yourself, and what YOU want out of the relationship.

I'll have different answers for you based on what your intentions are.

But to give you the most direct answer to your question of how to respond to this... take a page out of the "Han Solo Manual For Responding To Women Who Say That They Love You".

Remember at the end of Empire Strikes Back when Han was about to be frozen in Carbonite, and Princess Leia said, "I Love You"?

Remember what Han said back?

He said, "I know".

Cocky, Funny, and Evasive.

Some variations:

"You should."

"I don't blame you."

"Well, I would if I were you."

...these are all fun.

One warning: If this woman is ACTUALLY falling in love with you because you've been seeing her five times a week for the last six months, then you need to remember that this is a serious thing.

If you've gone out with her 4 times over the last 3 weeks, that's different. But, if she thinks you're getting married soon, then you might want to consider what you really want out of this, and act accordingly.

***QUESTION***

I must commend you on that masterpiece you wrote,your Double Your Dating. You captured my attention and maintained it through out the entire reading! I actually downloaded it this morning 'round 8:00 or so and you kept me reading it until almost
noon! I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium! I found much of the thoughts you expressed to be very insightful and exceptionally well communicated. This being said, I find myself in a conundrum that seems like it would lend itself to
your expertise. A bit of pre-amble.....

I'm 22 years old and I live in Ontario, Canada but only about 10 minutes from the Michigan border. About 3 months ago I joined some sorta gay-assed meeting service online here more out of curiosity than anything else but I came across this one wonderous lady from Michigan who lives about an hour and a half away. We've emailed each other probably 60-70 times and we've talked on the phone quite a number of times as well but we've never met in person yet. Well that day is to be approaching soon and I've come across a conflict of ideas now that I've read your book. For the most part, everything I do is the opposite of what you suggest with the odd exception like my humorous nature. The problem lies in the idea of changing my character to suit what you described (in a VERY logical manner) to be the ideal actions a fellow is to take. I have an interest in her, and she (as far as I can tell) has an interest in me... but the idea of being very non-challant and sort of distant/hard to get although it appeals to me GREATLY with someone new, I'm not sure would be advisable in this situation. If you could give me some feed back I would be greatly indebted to your wisdom even more.

Thanks for your time, J

MY COMMENTS:

In your email you said, "I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium!"

I'll tell you what man... if you keep talking this way the "medium" isn't the only thing that's going to be dry.

Someone get this guy a copy of the "How to talk like a normal guy that most people don't think is a JACKASS" manual.

Look man. You can't go through life trying to sound like you're more intelligent than everyone else... especially when you're 22... unless you want women to respond to you the way the woman in the bar responded to Russell Crowe's advances in "A Beautiful Mind". Watch the movie if you need the specifics.

It's OK to be smart. No problem.

But when you try to TALK like you're smart, you usually end up coming off as insecure and nerdy.

Case in point: Your email.

And no, saying "gay-assed" doesn't make you cool.

Trust me.

Now, as for your girl situation...

If you've met a girl on the internet and emailed her back and forth 60 or 70 times, then you should probably do what has worked for you so far, and don't change what you're doing just because you read my book.

You're going to want to practice for a little while before you go completely changing your entire personality with a woman who thinks she's going to be marrying you soon. (Did I say that?)

You're dealing with a classic problem:

You don't know how to meet women effectively, so this one woman is VERY IMPORTANT.

If you start doing the things that I recommend with her, and it doesn't work out, you'll blame me... when it was probably your fault for acting like her girlfriend for the last 47 years by email.

Go meet more women. Practice what you've learned. And do what you've been doing with the girl you met online, because if you change into a different person right before her eyes she might think you're psycho... and get a restraining order against you. Hell, I'm trying to figure out why she doesn't have one ALREADY the way you talk...

lol.

I know, I know. I'm a funny guy.

And, another thing (or two)...

Get yourself a copy of this:

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/mwo

David D.

Being A Man and Making Confident Moves

2006-09-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well over the weekend I ended up hooking up with this brunette girl who is hawt. Real eye candy. I found myself taking note of my actions of that night and the week or so I've known her, and I've put them down to something that I've been working on lately: being forward and making confident moves.

You see, I learn't something good from David Deangelo that I often have to kick myself and remind myself over: Is that women are ok with what you do, as long as you are. Now don't get this confused with sexual assault, being social UNcalibrated or anything stupid like that, I mean, holding her hand, touching, leading the conversation in the direction you want, and going in for the kiss when you KNOW you're supposed to (but a little something in your gut might be saying don't do it).

We'll I ended up making out with this woman on a lookout in HER silver mustang. The backseats on those car's are small, just so you know.

What I mean is that you should be confident in your actions enough for her to feel it. If you screw up during the conversation and saying something stupid, it's almost good enough and would do more for the interaction to say something like, "Wow that was kinda random, but I like it."

Being "alpha" isn't about not compromising on dinner, location, going out times, it's being in control at all times, even though you give her control at times.

You'd be suprised how often women will flock to you when you are in your reality and loving what you do. Something I wouldn't have realized before the community.

The Most Dangerous Aspect of Pickup

2006-09-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

I liked this post on Pickup101's blog about some of the effects of learning pickup. I might not agree with everything, but I think the message rings true.

The most dangerous part of learning pick-up occurs when you start dehumanizing the people you talk to.

One way to do this is to use jargon to create an alternate reality. Now you’re not talking to a cute girl, you're sarging an SHB11. Whom you hope to f-close.

And it doesn’t matter if she rejects you, because she's not rejecting you, she's rejecting this alternate personality of silly clothes and other people’s routines.

The other easy way to dehumanize your interactions is just to have too many of them. The reason you can't find 50 girls a day is because you shouldn't be talking to 50 girls a day. Talk to 5 girls a day, but make your interactions count for something.

Hell, take it from me, if you resolve to talk to the hottest girl you see, every day, no matter what, that mission is pretty hard in itself.

Remember that the women you're talking to are people, too. At some point in your interaction you will be trying to make a real emotional connection with them. Those who forget this turn into what Neil Strauss ('Style') called "social robots".

In Art of Attraction we have several exercises that we use to overcome approach anxiety. No jargon, no dehumanization, no objectification. A few hours after they arrive at the workshop, our students are out there flirting with cute girls and making them laugh.

In the long run, I think dehumanizing the people you talk to has even worse effects. You need to internalize that these are other people, with their own hopes, dreams, and insecurities. They’re normal people, just like you, who want to meet fun strangers and laugh with them. If they're "HBs" and "targets" you’ll think of them that way forever.

So start small. Say hi to people and smile at them. Oh my God! They smile back. Give them a sincere compliment. Oh my God! They smile bigger. Practice a standard opener that you really like. Yeah, it's a crutch. There's no problem with that because you're going to use it to make a cute girl laugh, not "pump an HB’s buying temperature through the roof". Try it on friends first and make sure they laugh. Find a supportive wing and get out there and the most important thing is...

have fun!

Niels

Where To Take Women On Dates

2006-09-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

From David Deangelo.

***QUESTION***

I have to admit your material is dead on the money. C & F works great, and your analysis of how the female mind works answers a lot of questions I've had.

While I am loath to admit it, I am a 22 y/o virgin. When girls find out about this they almost always ask why? Some girls have even gone as far as to change their minds about sleeping with me because I was a virgin. They claimed that they didn't want to risk giving me a bad first time, but I smell some BS there. I know girls read into everything, so what are they reading into the fact that I'm a virgin and is there any explanation I can give that won't have me looking like a loser?

Thanks D.S. Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow.

I really admire the fact that you're willing to reach out and ask for help.

Most guys are so caught up in themselves and their problems that they wind up suffering in silence... and, of course, are worse off because of it.

I'm going to give you an "outside the box" answer for your particular situation (even though it sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of "out of the box" thinking all by yourself... I know, I just couldn't help myself).

Here it is...

Don't talk about it.

Don't "explain" it in the first place.

Many problems in life are ILLUSIONS.

And yours is one of them.

Think of it this way...

Your dad, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on, all the way back to the first humans figured out how to have sex for the first time.

It's not that big of a deal, man.

I recommend that you focus on learning how a woman's body works, how to get her turned on and keep her turned on, etc. rather than focusing on YOURSELF... which is what you're doing.

If you can make a woman feel incredible physical pleasure, she won't care if you're a virgin. In fact, she won't ask or even bring the topic up, because she'll be feeling so good that the thought will never cross her mind.

It is not your obligation as a person to inform the person you're about to sleep with that you've never had sex before... lol.

Great email...

***QUESTION***

I am recently divorced and am 32 years old. Haven't dated since I was 21. So I have just kind of thrown myself back out there. A friend of mine told me about you and this newsletter so I started reading it and am fascinated by your advice. I have always been the nice guy - ready with an honest compliment and holding the door etc. Its not an act - its just how I am. But I seem to be sensing a problem with this...

With my friends and gal pals I get the "you're too nice" comment all the time. I am still trying to figure out how you can be too nice. How can you be too much of a gentleman. Is this truly something that can kind of trip you up dating these days, if
you are like me. Thanks

DK - Denver, Colorado

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah yes, the big realization that "nice" isn't always "good".

I'm going to give you a piece of advice that could be PRICELESS to you.

Get my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

It will change your entire perspective of how the world works (at least when it comes to dating and relationships).

I guarantee beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will get TREMENDOUS benefit from it.

Why do I just recommend my program rather than giving you an explanation?

Because I can tell from your question that you need more than a short answer.

You need a new understanding of WHY "nice" doesn't attract women... and what to do instead.

I was a "nice" guy for a lot of years of my own life, and I honestly believed that I was doing the "right thing".

It only makes sense, right?

How could it POSSIBLY be true that ANYTHING other than "niceness" could lead to success with women?

Well guess what?

It IS true.

And if you don't take the time and make the investment in yourself to LEARN what you need to do, you're going to suffer a lot longer than you need to.

Trust me on this one.

If, for some reason, you can't afford my program at this point in your life, then stay tuned to these newsletters for hints. There are a lot of good ideas here.

But if you can afford it, get it.

Women don't feel those powerful, magical, GUT-LEVEL emotions for "nice" guys.

It may suck, it may not be "fair", and it may not be "right" or whatever.

Get used to it. It's reality.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave,

I attended your seminar a few months ago and have almost all of your materials (guys you've got to get the interview series, it'll blow you away, and is VERY affordable). I am finally starting to "get it." Here's an example: I recently met a girl online (she responded to my personal ad) and we got together a few evenings ago. She stayed the whole evening and after some verbal teasing (C&F) things progressed physically. Teasing her with smooth kissing & touching then pulling away really seemed to turn her on (2 steps forward 1 step back). Later, after making out, I playfully tried to kick her out of my apartment. I said things like "isn't it past your bedtime, I need to sleep, don't you have to work tomorrow, don't your cats need food," etc. Well she didn't leave until 8 the next morning :) and even then she didn't want to leave, but had to go to work. We've exchanged several emails since, in which I've really busted her balls, she remains very interested and we're meeting again soon. I learned a few things here. Not only did proper use of the C&F and 2 steps forward, 1 step back concepts build sexual tension & anticipation, but trying to get rid of her (playfully), as counter-intuitive as it may seem, actually drew her closer. I realized that in general, being willing to walk away is so powerful because it shows you're confident and not needy, in control of yourself (and your hormones), and instantly makes you a challenge she must work for, all of which makes her want you more, not less. This worked especially well because I had set up the relationship properly first (i.e. created ATTRACTION). This definitely shows a big improvement in my "game." Keep the great materials coming!

N. from Salt Lake City (yeah you know me)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What can I say? You're the man...

It's clear to me that you've gotten to the point where you can UNDERSTAND what is going on... and you've reached the point where you can actually control yourself (and those hormones).

Nice!

Now, QUIT EXCHANGING "A FEW EMAILS" so fast!

Give her room to miss you and think about you.

Give her at LEAST a day or two off here and there to think about you... but not hear from you.

If you do not, you'll feel the tide begin to shift, her interest begin to fade, and you'll be wondering what happened.

Now keep up the great work!

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dear David:

I have been receiving your emails for a few weeks now, and wanted to pass along a success story of my own.

I heard something on the radio few weeks ago that grabbed my attention. The caller said that he just walks up to women he sees, and asks them for their bra or panties or both. (He only tells them that he collects them.) Well, after reading your emails, I thought this was a great C&F thing to try. I went out last Saturday night, and I saw an attractive woman and told her that I was collecting women's underwear, and that I wanted hers. After the shock wore off, she got up and went into the bathroom. When she came out, she handed me her panties and said, " I swear to God, if you sniff these, I'll kick your ass." Well, I couldn't resist. I turned around and stuck out my butt. She smacked it, and then I sniffed her panties! Again, she was so shocked she just stood there looking at me with her mouth open. Well, to make a long story short, when I left a few minutes later, she was giving me her number without my even asking for it!!! I would never have thought of doing something like this before reading your emails, let alone actually doing it. You've changed my life. Thank you

B. B. Casper, WY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I don't know what to say to this one, except for "I had to include this one".

Guys, try this one at your own risk...

But it makes for some damn good reading.

Maybe it's something in the water there in Casper, Wyoming...

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Great stuff. I got your e-book a while back, and it has totally changed my attitude and approach towards women. It's helped me tremendously in meeting and talking to them. I can't wait to get your advanced series. My dilemma is is that I'm only 5-2, I weigh 120 lbs., and I'm balding, to top it off (pardon the pun). I know from experience that most females will pretty much have nothing to do with a guy as short as I am. On the rare occasion, when I can meet someone who isn't so worried about height, I have no problem being c & f and making them laugh. But even they seem to not take me so seriously. I even tried my luck online, but again, it's the rare female that responds to me. Credit to those who do, they usually are a ton of fun to talk to, and could care less how tall a guy is. Any recommendations (short of platform shoes or stilts) on different approaches I could use to change my luck with them, and make them realize that personality's more important than height?

T in FLA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, my recommendation is that you stop thinking that you have a "dilemma".

You have what you have.

Calling it a dilemma, thinking of your size as a problem, and trying to figure out "tricks" or techniques to deal with your "problems" isn't the answer.

Do this:

Boldly approach every woman you're interested in as if you're the greatest opportunity she will ever have.

Learn how to overcome your own issues with yourself.

Stop talking about "luck" as if it's the reason why you're unsuccessful with women.

Approach each new woman with an open mind, and realize that every one is different.

Most importantly...

If you are rejected, shut down, criticized, put down, laughed at, or whatever is the WORST thing you can think of, GET OVER IT.

You'll get in a car every day without thinking about it, and drive down a road at 60 miles per hour, NEARLY MISSING every single car that goes by in the other lane...literally taking your LIFE into your hands... with NO FEAR... but you're allowing your concept of how women are biased against you IMMOBILIZE you.

Stop that!

Your whole "I know from experience that woman won't have anything to do with a guy that's as short as I am" thing is BS!

I have a friend who's about 5'4" or so who is ALWAYS surrounded by hot women.

In fact, a DIFFERENT friend of mine who's also shorter dates some of the most beautiful women in the world.

Your limitation is in your mind.

Sure, women PREFER taller guys ON AVERAGE.

But your limiting belief sucks. Get rid of it.

***QUESTION***

Hey D, I'm a 20 year old guy, i work in a grocery store and am attending college. I read your newsletters but haven't gotten around to buying your book yet. Anyway, here it is, I use your C&F techniques with women that i meet, get their numbers and email, etc. but when we go out, not like a date, just to the clubs, or parties, or whatever. Most of the time even though i was the one who did everything, the girls always seemed to be more interested in my friends than in me. I don't act to needy or clingy or wuss like (i once was, but after reading some of your newsletters i realized i was being more of an ass than anything). anyway, can you help me out here?
later.

T in elba

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well what are you doing, man?

You get a woman's email and number, then call her, then get a date with her... then take her to A PARTY?

Or even WORSE, a CLUB?

Duh.

The whole idea of getting a girl's email and number is so you can spend more time ALONE with her.

If you want to hang out with women at clubs, DON'T TAKE YOUR DATE, dumbass.

Are you familiar with the concept of not taking sand to the beach?

Here's my recommendation:

When you're arranging your first date with a girl, tell her to come to your house, and that you'll go to coffee or tea with her from there.

Then, when you're finished with your beverages, tell her that you want to show her your new Spiderman comic books.

ANYTHING is better than taking a girl to a party, dude.

Stop it!

Oh, and quit being lazy, and download my eBook.

It's going to make your life a lot better, and fast. You can download it in seconds, and be reading it and tons of other good stuff:

eBook Download

***QUESTION***

David,

I've never really had any problems getting numbers from girls. I have been using your guidelines even before I knew what they were. I always keep it short and to the point. No fancy pick-up lines just say "hi" get a little personal info, crack a
joke and bam I'm off, usually with a number in hand ( or in phone ). But lately I've been testing out a new strategy that has been getting very positive results. I wanted to see what your insights were and whether you had any additional advice on the subject.

The strategy is pretty simple, I just blow girls off. I start off acting very interested, ie.. getting a number or name, and then I let that marinade with them for as long as it takes for them to break down. Usually they keep pestering me to call them, hang out, whatever. I just keep acting like ( not telling them outright ) I will call or that we will go hang out "sometime". Being a college student, eventually I see these girls out on the weekend at a club, bar, party or any social gathering, and they are so excited that I'm finally in a place to hang out with them hooking up is almost too easy. Anyway. what do you think? Good? Bad? And what are the possible negative aspects of this strategy.

J.C.

Knoxville, TN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The only possible "negative" aspects of this strategy are:

1) You might have to get a new phone number because you'll have so many women calling you.

2) You may need to move as well to avoid the stalkers.

You're on the right track BIG TIME here.

This is gold, pure and simple.

Now you're talking.

***QUESTION***

Dave - I recently met this lady and after a little chit chat she gave me her email. I sent her an email a couple days later which basically said that i would like to get to know her. She did not respond to the email, but two days later I saw her and she came to me and said thank you for the note. My question is whether or not she is worth pursuing?

L

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Not. Oh, and stop sending emails to women that say "I'd like to get to know you".

Be interesting.

Be fun.

Say crazy stuff.

Play.

Bust her chops.

ENERGY!

Have you been reading my newsletters?

Boring is BAD.

You sound boring to me.

Bad.

***SUCCESS STORY**

David,

I've been getting your newsletters for a few weeks now and I realized something. When I was younger I was very successful with women because I didn't care about a relationship. I'm 30 years old now and somewhere along the line I started behaving differently because I was looking for someone to settle down with. That is when I started having problems meeting women. By reading your newsletter, I made the connection as to why I was successful in the past. It had nothing to do with how I looked, but my attitude.

Last week I decided to put your methods to the test. There's this girl that had been flirting with me at a weekly gathering some of my friends attend. At the end of the night I made my move and she shot me down cold. When I asked what all the flirting had been about she said that it was all in good fun. The next week I started the cocky & funny routine. She pulled me outside, threw her arms around me and said, "Kiss me!" I blew her off and made some smart ass comment. She just stood there staring at me like she couldn't believe what had just happened. I just stared back and refused to break eye contact. Eventually, she looked away, slapped me on the arm and said, "You're bad!" Later on we made out on the balcony and then she asked what I thought.In a sarcastic tone, I said, "It was alright." She playfully punched me in the arm and I went inside and acted like nothing had happened between us. It was great to turn the tables on her. If I've started having success just by reading your newsletter, I can't wait to order your materials.

S, Oklahoma

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Gold star for you.

You get it. Your letter should be read by every living single man, period.

Thank you, and good night.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,
I just got your Advanced Series in the email last week and I've been studying left and right for the past 7 days. It is thoroughly phenomenal!!! In my life, I've never heard such powerful techniques for attaining lifestyle success - this is a godsend to me! Thank You so much!!

Now, to the success...I went on a road trip yesterday to Indianapolis to visit a friend and stopped off at the shopping mall to pick up a few shirts. There was a smokin' black girl working in the store and I reallllly wanted to approach her so I say, "Excuse me, Fashion Goddess..." and hold up two shirts to compare, "...if you saw me at a party wearing one of these shirts, which one would you find me most attractive in?" "The green one", she replies. I say to her, "Well, I'll make sure not to get that one, then...see, I've been trying to avoid unstable women lately." Dave, this woman's jaw just drops to the floor - I broke right through her brat barrier in no time flat. So, we flirt for 10 minutes or so...and I TELL her - not asking her - to take her lunch break with me, because I'm hungry and I need someone to buy me lunch. Well, of course, she did and she bought me lunch after 10 minutes of flirting and ball busting. And, as a side note, she was 27 and seemed to be very experienced with guys and I JUST TURNED 21 this week - she knew this first hand and didn't even care...I made her feel attraction off the bat and, as you say, "No amount of logic (or age differences) could convince her otherwise". PHENOMENAL!!!!! I'll definitely get together with this bombshell next time I'm in town.

Thanks Dave, this stuff is absolutely changing my life!!! I can't wait for some of the new products!!!

Ciao! DF Bloomington, IN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, another man that gets it.

You've pointed out a personal favorite little humor trick of mine...

Leading a girl to think that you're saying onething, then turning it completely around.

Another example:

You sit down to eat at a restaurant, and start talking to the cute waitress.

You start flirting with her. She flirts back a little bit.

Next, you ask her what she thinks the best thing is on the menu.

After she answers, you either say:

"Well, if your taste in food is even half as good as your taste in men, then it must be damn good."

or...

"Well, I just wanted to know what to avoid...so I'll make sure to NOT order that."

Good stuff.

Killer flirting material.

Thanks for your email... keep it up.

What Do You Say... Bitchshield or Just Shy?

2006-09-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, I might start something new here at Attraction Chronicles.

This is a trial but I'll see if we can't get some conversation going, and get you guys to GIVE answers to fellow Chronicles readers who may be less experienced. Simply post a comment below!

Question:

"I used to think some hot girls had this huge BITCHSHIELD, although I've noticed lately that alot of the women I like, are just naturally quieter, and shy (than most other hot girls, but still have killer personalities, and lives). What is the quickest and most effective way to get them to open up, and start building comfort and rapport with me?

D

Maximum Edge Seminar

2006-09-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

I just got this notice from Stephen Nash of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. This seminar will truly be value for money. I've personally witnessed Stephen's smooth style, and highly recommend his products.

Wanted to give you a heads up that seminar space for the end of the month is quickly filling-up. I got a number of sign-ups over the holiday, so the event is now nearly sold-out. I encourage you to get on the list asap.

We are VERY excited to offer this BRAND NEW program entitled the "Maximum Edge Seminar", to be held in NYC on Sat. September 30 & Sun. October 1. In it we cover everything you need to know to MASTER your social skills so that you can meet women and date on your terms, while also maximizing your lifestyle, and personal style so that you are always at your most attractive...if you are looking for balanced and healthy relationships, this program is critical to your future success.

If you'd like to hear some audio of me discussing the seminar, and sign-up now, go here:

http://www.ceimageconsulting.com/seminars.php

What follows is a mere sampling of what will be taught at this seminar:

* Learn our ground-breaking 3-point plan that gives you the power when meeting new women;

* We disclose the secret art of "hooking" so that women never walk away from you again;

* How to bait ANY woman into a conversation so that within minutes she is dying to know YOU;

* We go over the subtleties of female psychology and why it is absolutely necessary to do THREE key things when meeting any new woman...do you know what they are?;

* We will guide you through a step-by-step process to build a look that empowers you. Look forward to feeling confident about what you wear each and every day;

* We help each student understand the BEST places to go where they can meet women with the greatest probability of success. Certain venues are better for some than for others - let's find a plan that works for YOU;

* Learn which conversational topics are fascinating to women. Never be boring again;

* We will guide you through a step-by-step exercise which will help you get your life on track, and moving forward towards an attractive, autonomous lifestyle. This is the ultimate way to be attractive, and to feel like a man;

* We provide a clear definition of relationships, and why some work and some don't. We give you clear-cut ways to improve all of your relationships TODAY;

* There are three different ways to engage women in conversation when you are socializing. These three are based on the three different environments that exist socially. Do you know what they are? We teach you on Day I of the program;

* We explain the importance of lifestyle, and why it is critical to live fully and have fun. This is essential to your success with women. Curious why?

* We teach you the FASTEST way to begin conversations in ANY environment;

* We outline the aspects of a successful mindset, and we then lead you through a clear and concise exercise to attain that attitude for yourself;

* We teach you how to flirt, tease, and tell stories which build fascination and intrigue. This is precisely how you will never feel lost for words when relating to women;

* We instantly improve your body language and tonality with simple, clear advice never heard anywhere before;

* We give you a SIMPLE way to ALWAYS be relaxed and comfortable before approaching and engaging women in conversation;

* Get women chasing you by being a challenge and by playing hard to get - you may have heard other ways to create this dynamic. Throw them all away - this one is solid, and empowers you to be the prize;

* We give you precise things to say, and then teach you how to drop all scripted lines and be truly spontaneous;

* Learn priceless leadership secrets that you CANNOT LEARN ANYWHERE ELSE - these will lead you to the promised land with beautiful women;

* Learn the secret to building a FAST and GENUINE emotional connection;

* We will give you three different dating scenarios which most guys follow - there is one, and only one, which is nearly a guarantee for success - which one do you follow now? How can you change your strategy for dating to increase your success?;

* We give you a solid blueprint on how to live with PASSION and bring other people into your life - become the magnet of your social circle;

* We reveal deep insights into female psychology that women don't want you to know;

* We will help you create a profile for the woman you truly desire, and help you develop a PLAN for meeting her and bringing her into your life. It is critical that you know what you are looking for in a woman, and we will reveal this to you on Day II of the program;

* Critical elements in creating an interesting and magnetic lifestyle - have people coming to you from now on;

* We speak at length about connections, and intimacy - topics that are baffling to men, and we describe them in detail, giving you a solid framework to create more of both in your life.

Again, below is the link you need to sign-up today and insure seating at the "Maximum Edge" seminar at the end of the month. We look forward to working with you!

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/ceimageconsulting

Best,

Stephen Nash

Three "Big Mistakes" Guys Make On Dates

2006-09-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed this email from David. Helps put some certain things in perspective.

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hello, I am reading your book now and it's great, the cocky guy thing is working 100%. I actually got 5 #'s in 4 days! WOW :) Thanks! My Q is, I met a girl online, she gave me her #, I called her we met, got dinner, drinks, then made out! Cool stuff! She says she is having the greatest time, blah blah blah. When I kissed her, and made out a little, she then says, slow down its the first date. I felt bad for going on so fast. So I said sorry. When we went home (2 different directions) everything was cool, (looked like it at least) I said, "ok, thanks, great time blah blah" the i said "You want me to call u or u gonna call me?" She goes "I'll call u, u call me its all good" SO it ended good, (i think) NOW, Should I CALL HER the next day or not?

Thanks,

K.

P.S. she wants to go out to a different town with me for the weekend to have fun. HOW DO I ACT SO I DONT LOOK LIKE A WUSS AND EASY TO GET GUY!??!?!?

MY COMMENTS:

OK, well ready yourself.

I'm about to do some of my "David D. Quack-Psycho-Analysis" on you. Emphasis on the Psycho.

In a one paragraph email, you managed to tell me about a MINIMUM of three major mistakes that you made with this particular girl. If I really thought about it, I could probably find another few in there as well.

So hug your inner child and tell him that everything is going to be OK before I verbally abuse him...

Here are the three mistakes that I noticed right off the bat:

1) Making out with her somewhere other than at your house (or her house).

2) Apologizing for making out with her.

3) Asking her if you should call her, of if she should call you.

I'll address each one in a minute in detail, but first let me start off with some of my Quack theories.

One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't Attracted To Wussies".

I say this because:

1) It's true.

2) If you don't understand this principle, you're likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph" to a woman that you're a Wuss.

3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling... you're done. Game over.

I think that most of us guys have these little secret beliefs that we hide from the rest of the world... and that we TRY to hide from women.

I was having an interesting discussion with a good friend today, and we were talking about how most guys act when they're around an "attractive" woman.

Most guys do one of the following:

- Give attractive women a lot of compliments immediately.

- Kiss up to attractive women.

- Try to get attractive women to like them by buying them gifts, dinners and flowers.

- Chase after attractive women and let it be known that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right from the beginning.

- Hand over all of their power and status to attractive women.

Know what I'm talking about?

Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a beautiful woman... and he's obviously nervous about the whole situation... and you can tell that he's doing everything he can to NOT screw up so he can get the woman's approval?

Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?

Yeah, me too. A lot.

Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior usually BACKFIRES BIG TIME.

All of the little things that most guys do to get a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman that:

"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME."

Now that I understand this particular aspect of male/female interactions, I can see the horrible results all around me.

At bars I watch guys walking up to women and giving compliments... or offering to buy drinks... and the women smiling politely thinking, "Oh, another loser", and excusing themselves...

I see men at dinner with their dates... DESPERATELY trying to get the women they're with to show any sign of interest... but the women only become colder and less interested... And I know that the women are only getting ANNOYED at this behavior...

I read personal ads in the paper and online from men who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great guy! No, really!"... and I know that the women reading these ads are saying to themselves "Yeah, loser"... and the guys are getting little or no
response...

I think you get the picture.

The point I'm making is that when you do things like asking her if she wants you to call her or if she wants to call you... and apologizing for making out with her, you are making the same basic mistake.

Why would you apologize for making out with a woman?

I mean, think about it.

You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would not have done it in the first place. Duh.

You were actually LYING when you said you were sorry. You were only sorry that she didn't want to continue, man.

When you said, "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was "Uh oh, I just screwed up. I'd better say something quick to fix this. I will put aside my own wants and desires, and say whatever you want to hear in hopes that you'll like me and give me
attention and approval".

Really.

It's actually even WORSE than that.

The reality of this situation is that when you apologized, you created a POWER SHIFT.

The power shifted from YOU to HER.

You felt it, and she felt it.

I guarantee that in the few seconds after you said "I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach and knew something was wrong. But I ALSO guarantee that she felt a little SURGE of power AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

At the same moment you were realizing that you just did something wrong, she was realizing that she OWNED YOU.

Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little bit of disappointment in you, because you were apologizing for something just to get her approval... and women don't WANT to own men.

Heavy man, heavy.

And the SAME thing happened in the moment that you asked her if she wanted you to call her or if she wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser degree).

That's one of those little moments where you basically said "Here, take the power. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. You get to make the decisions. Please tell me that you want me to call you, because that will affirm that you like me".

Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a boyfriend who she eventually cheats on... or, even worse, a boyfriend who she eventually marries and then divorces because you turned into a boring Wussy husband from hell.

So, my general advice to you is:

STOP IT!

Stop doing things that let her know that she OWNS you.

One of the best things you can do is learn to PAUSE before you respond to ANYTHING that makes you feel an "Emotional Wussy Rush".

If she says something that indicates that she's not happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.

Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut and the brain operating.

If you have to, run everything through your mental "Wussy Analyzer".

Decide if the response you're going to give her is to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.

Don't do things that hand over the power in the relationship. Don't let the things a woman says shake you emotionally.

Finally, I want to address your mistake of making out with her somewhere other than in your house or her house.

I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?

One of the best things I've learned is that if you LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a girl, and don't try to "make your move" early on, you'll do MUCH better later.

You mentioned that you're reading my eBook right now... and it sounds like you're actually doing pretty well. If you've gotten five women's numbers in four days, I think you're going to live... lol.

Pay close attention, because in my eBook I share some KILLER techniques for making
it completely "natural" for a woman to come back to your place, come inside, etc. and the exact steps to take, to take things to a "physical level" once you're there.

Most guys totally screw this part up.

They go to all the trouble to approach a woman, get her number, call her, get a date, go on the date, pay for the date, spend all that time... and then have NO IDEA what to do next.

The reality is that if you just KNOW WHAT TO DO, and you've prepared in advance, you can easily take things to the next level... and give her an experience that will make her DEFINITELY call you back for another date.

Make sure you read the bonus booklets that came with Double Your Dating... especially "Bridges" and "Sex Secrets". Those will teach you how to smoothly transition from one step to the next, and how to get a woman sexually aroused (a skill that almost NO men have).

...and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn the secrets of how to get a woman to come home with you and WANT to come inside with you after a date... and the exact steps to take once you're there to make sure that you DON'T get a response like this guy... then you need to check out my eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

I have spent the last several years of my life learning from guys who are AMAZING with women, and figuring out all kinds of simple, easy-to-use techniques just like the ones I've mentioned for getting a woman to come home with you, getting a woman "turned on", and taking things to a "physical level" in a way that she'll enjoy. In my eBook I share dozens of these ideas.

You can download it right now, and be reading it in a few minutes... Just go here.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

Dave Levine (Seduction Masters Interview)

2006-09-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

We have a very special interview today with the founder of SexToy.com. Dave Levine is a Hollywood Hills living, party loving entrepreneur that we can learn something from. He doesn't come from the community, but has learn't to attract the types of women he wants through trial and error, and innovation. The interest part is what Dave says about social circles and befriending women.

Tell me about yourself

I grew up in a suburb 20 minutes north of Boston, went to U of M, lived in Japan for one year, then NYC one year, then back to Boston, then in 2003 moved to Hollywood.

My websites:

SexToy.com
http://www.wcool.com

Can you explain what you're dating life was like before you felt you finally became successful with women?

Living in Boston, I didn't meet many women who seemed that exciting to me. And when I met ones I liked, I didn't have much chance of attracting them. I felt unsure about how to act.

Did you ever have an experience a thought where you realized to yourself, "I can do better than what I have now", was there anything that prompted it and what did you decide on doing?

You are tapping into my megalomaniac side, but I have always believed that I would become much more successful and would eventually figure out how to get the hottest girls in the world. Thus, I was never satisfied with mediocrity.

Can you explain your dating options with women?

First of all, my main objective is to first become friends with a girl I like. If I see a new girl I like, I am not immediately trying to just have sex. My goal is to get her into my posse. I just want her to be one of the many girls I hang out with. I am frequently in a situation where I am the center of attention in setting where there are more women than men. Everyone meets at my house, we go out in my limo, I get everyone into the party, then we come back at the end of the night to my house.

Partying with hot girls however is very different than dating a hot girl. Most of my pics show girls that are just party friends. Even though I may actually hook up with many of them, we are not really dating. If I actually go out to dinner or spend quality one on one time with a girl, then that is dating.

Did you learn any good dating techniques from successful guys that you hung around?

I learned most of my dating techniques from the TV show blind date! When I first saw that how, I would watch and think the girl was interested in the guy and then hear her say at the end that she had no interest. Then I realized, I am not reading my dates properly. The biggest thing I learned is that people are not honest. Most people (wrongly) believe, that it is better to lie and say nice things than to be honest about your feelings. After watching many blind date episodes, I began to find better ways of determining if a girl is really interested. For example a hot make out is a good hint she likes you!

Also, I used to think that to win a girl I had to do something magical and impressive, but after watching the people on Blind date, all I really have to do is be myself and hang out. If a girl agrees to go out with you, that means she is interested on some level. Rather than think I need to win her, I started to think, I have her as long as I don't act like an ass and mess it up.

Finally I learned that everyone has different tastes and desires. So if a girl wants a guy who is very tall, or blonde, then she won't be into me. I can't get mad about that and shouldn't try to change her mind. Sometimes I may feel a girl is stupid and really should like me, but I don't waste my time trying to convert. I just present myself in the best light and if they are into me great, if not, I move on. There are many many more who don't need convincing.

You've got a huge network of what seems to be, very attractive women, and successful men. What advice do you give to guys wanting to expand their social circle to include those types of people?

First of all decide what kind of girls you like. Not everyone is into the wild Hollywood party girl. Some may like a more conservative girl who likes being in the country side. But once you know what you like, then go to that place. That is one reason I moved to Hollywood. Then once you are around the type of girls you want, you need to become the center of gravity. Create the fun or activities that people enjoy. If you are the creator, then you will be the center of attention. Not only will this get you noticed, when they notice you, they will see you in a positive light since you are the leader.

Going off the last question, when you started out in the LA nightlife you probably had to build a relationship with the venues. What are some ways of getting "in" with the clubs?

When I first arrived I went to the hottest club at the time with a friend of mine (wednesday nights at the Standard). He said you can't get in. I said, thanks and left. The next week we came back and he said, you can't get in. The next week I came back alone, since my buddy gave up already and the door guy let me in! After that I didn't miss one Wednesday for a year. And every night that I went out I got at least one phone number and called it a day or two later.

When going to clubs, remember that they are running a business. They want money and hot girls. If you want to get in, show up with girls or be ready to throw money at them. If you have hot girls with you, stand behind them.

Figure out who is the decision maker regarding getting in and be sure to talk to that person, don't start asking the security guard if you can get in. Remember the door guy is busy so be ready to get to the point. Look the guy in the eye with confidence and say, "Just me and these 2 hot girls and $50" Also, if you know any of the promoter names say "I am on Joe's list and Fred's list" Even if you aren't on the list, if you seem to know the promoter, that helps, cuz for all this guy knows, you are the best friend of that promoter!

We're both shorter guys. I've found in the past, it can be intimidating to approach women that have all these "model" 6'5 type guys leeching off them. Have you learnt any techniques of dealing with this height difference when you approach women in clubs?

That stuff does not matter at all. On average you may find more tall girls who simply will not hook up with you since you aren't tall, but most don't seem to care! Anyways, my initial approach is just to be friends anyways, so if I think she is hot, I will talk to her and try to hang out with her. I dated a 6'2" girl and a 6'1" girl and I am only 5'7" . . . and I encouraged them to wear heals when we went out cuz I thought it was hillarious!

What can guys out there do to become "cool"?

Find the scene you like and hang out in that scene and just focus on having fun. The cool part comes when you relax and naturally begin to fit in. In fact, that is what the word "cool" comes from is you are just chilled out and not stressing about how to act. This may sound crazy, but if you are in a scene and not feeling cool, go off on your own for a bit and take deep breathes and soak it in. when I used to go the hot clubs in hollywood and didn't know many people, many times I would sneak off to the back of the dance floor and just dance alone and take deep breaths to let myself relax into the vibe . . . .

I bet you have some wild stories. What was your craziest experience at a club?

My wildest experiences have been at my house parties in the hot tub or steam room. But in a club, having the hottest little 20 year old kissing up on me and grabbing me never gets old.

You're involved in the adult entertainment industry. Do you have relationships with porn stars, or do you prefer women that aren't directly involved in porn? How could guys get in with these types of women?

I am not really interested in dating a girl in porn because I think my girl having more intimacy with unknowns than they do with me would be confusing. I don't mind strippers however and have dated many of them. If you want to hang with porn girls, then get into that scene. Move to
Hollywood, start going to parties that porn people and porn girls go to, make friends and network, and eventually (make take a few years) you will be dating a porn girl.

What are some techniques for holding a conversation with a woman you just met?

First of all, your questions must come from a place of honest interest. If you don't give a crap what her sign is, don't ask! Try to come up questions that will tell you what she does for fun . . . where does she go out, how often, with whom. What does she do during weekends, etc. when she tells you something she does that you also do or want to do, let her know. If she is interested, then suggest, "lets do that together"! Then get her phone number and so that you can do that fun thing together.

Keep in mind that a great fun conversation at the bar and your mutual 100% enthusiasm for a date may dissipate by the time you call her a few days later. Usually only about 1/10 phone numbers can be turned into a date. When you call, be prepared to leave a phone message that compliments her, is funny, and gets right to the point: you have this great event going on and you want to know if she wants to join.

What are some examples of flirting that you use regularly?

Again, be honest. If you are interested in a girl, then tell her what interests her. Don't make stuff up . . . if her eyes are great tell, or if her dress is hot, let her know. If she seems uncomfortable with the compliments, then save them for later. if she loves it and gets closer, keep them coming. But watch out if you are moving fast, she may have a wall that appears suddenly! Don't get caught running full speed into her wall!

Do you have any parting words of advice?

Always overbook. Unless you have a girl that you have talked about having some sort of special relationship with, then when you go out, invite all the girls you like out at the same time.

Especialy if you haven't hooked up with any of the girls, do not be afraid of inviting them all out at the same time. Then if you do hook up with a girl, be very careful and take your time before you start phasing out the other girls just for her. Sometimes, as soon as you get rid of all the other girls, she is over it!

Take care of yourself to look good. Buy new clothes that are unique but also fit into the scene you are hanging with, and get your body in shape!

The Sincere Compliment - Direct At Its Easiest

2006-09-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! We've been so busy running killer workshops at PickUp 101 in SF and NYC that I almost forgot to share the love here on The Attraction Chronicles.

But just in time for the long holiday weekend here in the U.S., here's an article that gives you all the tools you need to talk to any cute girl you see, and make a great, powerful, sexy first impression.

And you know that attraction happens right away, or not at all, so that first impression matter most.

Have fun!

The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.

That said, I do like to think I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:

You are just starting out and dealing with the daunting task of approaching women for the first time (and wondering how in the hell anyone ever does anything this scary). This will get you started and get you positive responses immediately.
You can do cold approaches but have trouble running a full story, or making an opinion opener sound right, or aren't able to jump right into fun banter right away. This gives you the open and lets her know right away you are more than just a guy making conversation. You are a guy flirting with her, and totally comfortable doing it.
You can run attraction to the end of time but find that the girl never fully commits to you, but lets you entertain her until the guy she really connects with comes along. This establishes right from the start that you are confident, sexual, and have intent, and rewards her for being the woman who is deserving of that attention (for right now).
You are a high-value guy and finding that you come on too strong for some girls and over game them without even realizing it. This will get them smiling and comfortable and let them relax and appreciate your interest.
You are super-advanced and want to see just how basic you can break it down. This can make the game ridiculously easy now that you have internalized all the lessons of value and fun and the potential for great intimacy and sexual fulfillment you have to offer.

Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.

I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.

So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.

"I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you are just too cute."

Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her.

I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).

Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her?

Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good?

Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?

When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.

Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible, and it has to be about HER, not about her clothes, or stuff.

I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistently positive and comfortable responses as the word "cute." I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.

If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women.

And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.

You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women.

What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard.

What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.

All women want to be loved like little sisters, but there's a deeper level. They want to be loved like daughters.

They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and Sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.

There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, but for now, that's it. I encourage everyone to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.

And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.

- Sean

How To Keep A Woman Attracted

2006-08-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

I liked this email for those guys that are getting into relationships from Lance at Pickup101.

I saw a headline today that said, "YouTube Serves Up 100 Million Videos A Day."

Now unless you've been living in some sort of cave you have probably looked at a youtube video at least once.

Probably more than once.

Some of them are hilarious (especially the recent ones about the infamous Zidane head butt), and some of them just plain suck.

But occasionally some one sends me a video that is actually painful to watch, and today was one of those occasions.

I got a link to this short clip that I thought was comedy about a guy breaking up with a girl. I figured the guy would get blown out and that was it.

Man was I wrong.

It starts off with a guy on the phone telling the girl that it's no big deal about the break up, and she should come get her stuff.

I'm thinking, this guy's got it right. Move on and get another girl right away.

But it gets worse quickly, and I mean downright ugly. There is scene after scene of this guy singing loves songs into her answering machine, crying into the phone while sitting in the bathtub, and practically stalking her to get her back.

I couldn't stand it!

I would rather listen to nails on a blackboard.

Listen I get a lot of questions from guys about how can they get this one girl back.

My advice forget about it! Or as I learned to say in New York... fagedaboutdit.

Let's review a few key points of attraction:

1. Attraction happens in an instant.

When you see the cute girl with the big booty in her tight jeans, you're attracted. It takes all of a few microseconds.

Attraction happens just as quickly for a woman, but for different reasons (so don't waste your time trying to squeeze your big butt into tight jeans).

The myth that you have to spend days or weeks to get a woman attracted is a load of donkey droppings.

The flip side is, if you don't keep her attracted, she'll find someone else.

2. Attraction is fleeting... it doesn't last without effort.

Just like when the women in the tight jeans is out of your sight and the next cutie walks
by, you've forgotten miss big booty.

So it is with a woman. If you can get them to talk about it, they'll tell you how many times a day they are attracted to guys. But it doesn't mean she will ever act on it.

And for relationships, once the attraction spark is gone... it's usually gone for good.

You will be wasting your valuable time trying to get her back attracted to you.

Why bother when there are so many women out there? Go get a new girlfriend, you'll be
happier.

3. Chasing is very unattractive

If you only learn one thing from me learn this valuable lesson.

Chasing is VERY UN-attractive.

You've probably already discovered when you pursue a woman, she gets less interested and more annoyed at you.

Think about how you feel, when a salesman won't leave you alone from the minute you walk in his store. All you want to do is look, and maybe get some info, and the guy is all over you like a cheap suit.

Well cute girls get that all day every day. Hell even average women get it every day.

So the second they think your chasing them, your screwed.

And please promise me you'll never beg a woman to come back to you. it's about the WORST thing you can do.

So maybe you are wondering what the heck you can do that gets attraction, and keeps it going, so you don't have to 'chase'.

The answer my friend is a simple six letter word... B A N T E R!

Banter sets you apart as being a man who is comfortable around women, enough to 'play' with her like she's an old friend.

Banter is one of the most powerful attraction triggers I know, and it's FUN!

And women NEVER get tired of it. You can use banter to keep your woman attracted just like she uses lingerie and mini-skirts.

If you want to see banter in action take a look at Surefire Attraction Secrets.

Now, go meet some women.

Your Friend,

Lance Mason

Tips for Internet Dating with Neil Strauss

2006-08-26T10:49:00.001-07:00

Just a small clip from the Meeting Women Online program of David D's. I thought this would not get me in to much trouble with the "authorities". He gives an overview and is introduced. Check it out.

Stephen Nash's (Playboy) New Podcast & Website

2006-08-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

Just got word from Stephen Nash (Cutting Edge Image Consulting) that he's launched a new website. It can be found here: www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com

Stephen also tells me he is starting a new podcast, you can also find that podcast link on his new website, along with a 94 minute audio file from a seminar. Cool.

If you aren't familiar with Stephen, he was Playboy from Neil Strauss' "The Game". He lived in Project Hollywood with all of it, and has some great stories to boot. I'm sure he'll probably start relating them on his podcasts and blog. I've interviewed him previously, a lot of the topics he discusses are often overlooked, like, lifestyle, being natural, social circles, etc.

Enjoy.

D